Topic: Question about relative who was told no chemotherapy is needed

hi i also had no chemo i had three tumors 3/4 of the breast removed but mine were not hormonel the reason i didnt have chemo was because i suffered from d.v.t 8years ago and the said it was to dangarous for me but i did have 33sessions of radiotherapy.

Ok First off I want to thank you all for your responses.  I am not that familiar, I did lose my son to a brain tumor in 2004 but we didn't go through any chemo or anything it was sudden with headache and vomiting so I took him to E.R there is were they did a catscan and found he had a brain tumor He had medoblastoma and 2 days later he had emergency surgery and then they put him in a medical coma due to a stroke the night he had the surgery and then he passed away 4 weeks later.  So no radiation or chemo with that to have any experience.  Although I am glad he didn't suffer i miss him everday.  Anyhow I need to get more information from her but all I knew was she caught it early and I just assumed that chemo was with all cancer patients.  I do appreciate all the answers and glad to know it is a normal ting sometimes and not just something they were over looking.  Thank you again.

Joelle

Otter: Your time and type of diagnosis are almost identical to mine. How are you? What stage of treatement are you at? What's been youir experience?

juliajo,

I feel like I am on the wrong side of the fence (i.e., I am not getting rads, and this is the rads board).  I had surgery in February (mastectomy + sentinel node biopsy).  In late March my onco decided I would benefit from chemo, though not all that much; so I started a 4-cycle regimen of Taxotere & Cytoxan on April 3.  I had my 2nd treatment nearly 2 weeks ago, so I am feeling great right now.  Two treatments to go, and then I'll be switched over to an aromatase inhibitor to block my remaining estrogen production (I'm menopausal).  That will go for 5 years at least. I do not need rads because I had a mast., my nodes were negative, and the margins around the tumor were thick enough.

What's your situation?

otter 

Joelle, I don't know where you live, but you might find a cancer center near you that offers free cancer counselling. Our center does, for both those with cancer and their loved ones. MANY of the people our counsellors deal with are several years past their cancer experience but only now coming to terms with it, so you're definitely not alone in your handling of this. I think we moms too often "carry on" because we have to, and it's only later that our world can really be put back together. I'd encourage you to call around and see what's on offer at any cancer center near you, as a chance to talk with a specifically cancer-oriented counsellor could really help you get it "out there."

At any rate, I hope you'll take a few minutes to pat yourself on the back for having been the "strong" one when that was needed. And also for recognizing your own need now. I'll be praying that you connect with someone who can be the "ear" and the "shoulder" you need just now for closure and healing.

God's love,

Binney 

BinVA, Hi,

Glad to hear you caught your breast tumor early also.  It is weird how we are the strong ones.  You know what is sad people often don't realize the pain and suffer around the world until it happens to them and I was one of them.  One thing I must say I truly felt that some higher power was with me the whole time in the hospital with my son.  After reading alot of people and their discussions on here I can't help but to fell dumb because the only thing I knew about my son was he had medoblastoma.  He was so healthy one night he woke up like at 3 in the morning complaining of headache then he threw up and his headache went away.  I have always been a protective mother so he was seen the next day.  Sometimes I wonder wow one day of symptoms and I was fast how could this happen?  I always hear mothers talking about a child they lost and saying he was so perfect he was such a good kid, I use to think they said that because they lost them.  Until bam it happend to me then I realized god does take the perfect ones first.  My son at a very early age was very religious when we were only holiday church goers.  He would literally kick the back seat of my car when I drove by a church and say I want to to see Jesus.  Then in the hospital he was taking a nap before the surgery he woke up and said I am going to be fine, I looked at him and said what do u mean, he said I saw Jesus in my sleep and he said I am gonna be fine, I mean that is just a few things many weird things happend with him even the day after his funeral we got him on video standing outside the sliding glass door with an angel standing next to him you cannot miss the wings!!!  It was amazing and wow was that something soothing to us as parents.  Anyhow I do believe noone can change what god plans for us.  The day I prayed and told god he is yours he was yours way before he was mine you can have him if you want him I will not fight you, it is your will.  That same day we went to church and we got back they said his heart stopped but we recisitated him even though he was dnr.  I feel like because I was at peace to let him go god finally took him.  I believe I was the only one not crying at his funeral I was telling everyone it is ok until my aunt shook me and said wake up what is wrong with you???  I was still in a state of shock til about 6 months later I saw a counselor  I was o.k and I am now but really weird because the past 3-4 months he has been on my mind too much I have been slipping and calling my oldest son Mikey instead of Tommy.  Who knows then a year ago I had a baby girl which I have been wanting it took me having 3 boys before I had her so yeah god works in mysterious ways.  Anyhow enough sobbing.  Than k you all so much for listening I haven't felt this good in a while.  As for my aunt she is across the country and I have not spoken to her since the last time so no update on her situation just yet, and after hearing all the advice I think she is lucky enough to have caught her cancer early enough.  I will continue to pray for her and for all of you also.  Thank you all again!!

Joelle

Joelle, grieving is such hard work. It takes a long time, and it's heavy all the way. It sounds like your darling son helped you all he could, and it also sounds like he is indeed just fine! But everyone's grieving is their own, and while it's difficult, it's also precious. There is absolutely nothing wrong with your response, the lack of wailing and clutching by his bedside, or the lack of tears at the funeral. In fact, from what you've told us about your son, that was the perfect response. He was so at peace with his life, and it sounds like you were exactly in tune with him. There is nothing "normal" about grief, so we have to accept our own way of dealing with it.

Now, of course, comes the loneliness, and the new baby who will never know her brother. Those things are hard, so now's the time to grieve and cry over them. But nothing you did at the time was wrong, so embrace it. It was a precious time and always will be. And besides, the resources your son depended on are still available to you. Reach out -- his Jesus is there for you, too.

I hope the company who just came will lift your heart, and that your fresh tears here will in fact be refreshing to you. Please let us know how we can help. And give your aunt our love, too!

(((((Hugs)))))),

Binney 

Well, 9 years ago (light years in BC treatment), if the tumor was under 1 cm and no nodes, they did not recomend chemo.

So I don't know what to say.  I did not have chemo, I had a 7mm, Medullary, Triple Negative breast cancer.

However, things change, and my info is now quite old, on the other hand I am fine and nearing the 10 year mark.

Maybe it would be good to go get a valid second opinion from a breast specialty clinic.

Gentle hugs, Shirlann

Your so right about someone of stronger power being here for us.  I am actually having a hard time with this thing called cancer all together.  I as a person have such a hard time believeing so many people are suffering from cancer.  I feel like going down to some freakin lab and finding out what really is this freakin "cancer".  Sounds odd but It is just annoying how they say u have cancer, no cure and they don't know how but yet it is called cancer.  Call me childish but it get's under my skin!!  We spend so much money on other countries and stupid stuff in our own country but we dont have the money or cure after so many years of research.  Kind a odd.  Anyhow I am so sorry about the loss of your parents, there is not one story easier than the other.  Keep strong and keep your faith and I believe you shall be happy.  You are all very strong and please stay that way.  I personally hate alot of the ways doctors work now adays.  They are asking us for solutions instead of knowing what to do.  My dad for instance starting having blood and too much protein in his urine and his doctor said he gave him medication for it.  Um I couldn't help but e-mailing him and telling him hey ok I understand you gave him meds, but having too much proteis in your urine and streaks on blood don't you think that is a sign of liver failure.?  Shouldn't we do more tests to find out why it is happening instead of just giving medication to lessen it?  I mean for god sakes it is like her take this pill it will help a little.  So only because of my e-mail did he respond and say ok I will refer it to radialogy deptartment and they will call u, so they did they did ultra sound and found a big bulge behind my dads kidney they said it could be a tumor or a cyst.....so now they are concerned and sent him to do a CTscan.  Now the CTscan looks nothing abnormal I find it hard to believe, so yes I will have my dad get a second opinion.  Of course that is Kaiser but it is just scarry now a days.......to all of you get second and third opinions if you have to.........That is your right.  God bless you all.  i will pray for you all!!!!

Joelle

wow sorry to hear about your daughter also, but I must say our situation does sound so similar.  We must both know and believe they are happy and in peace no doubt, I truly believe this.  It is the thoughts we get when they were ill and the missing them so much that sticks with us forever.  I did in fact keep it held it to long and that is why I got the anger later but again nothing I cannot deal with and with the great people I have found here I am feeling better with discussing my situation.  I really didn't realize I was still holding it in until I came here.  I want to thank you all so much, this is really a great world when you can actually talk to people you have never met and have them give you all this support and care!!  thank you all and I will continue to pray for all of you!!  "Hugs"

Joelle

Yes i so agree with you!  When they have found the cancer I do believe they do what is necessary.  Don't missunderstand me, but sometimes I feel with alot of neglect by the time they do find the cancer it is farther along then if they would have done proper testing sooner.  Like with my father if i would not have requested further testing they were just going to give him a pill to help reduce the protein in the urine, with out finding why it was there to begin with.  I personnally just had an emergency surgery to remove my gallbladder because my stone was out of my gallbladder into my bile duct, and for the past 7 years I have been having major pain went to hospital 3 times I told them sounds like my gallbladder they said no it doesnt they did a xray and said i am constipated.  Instead of doing a ultra sound.  i also have been seen by my docotr first at kaiser and when I had a physical and in my blood work my liver was inflamed to 4 times the size, doctor asked me if I was drinking on drugs...etc Why in 7 years they never ever told me why my liver was so inflamed.  But since I suddenly got this pain I couldnt handle for 3 days in a row i decided to drive to a hospitol that was one hour away by myslef at 2 in the morning because I was tired of the hospitol by me telling me I am constipated..lol  They did a ultra sound found my stone stuck in my bile duct which in fact was causing my liver to not function properly and to get so inflamed....they rushed me to surgery to break the stone and then another surgery the next day to remove my gallbladder, when usually this is a outpatient treatment and they do both procedure at one time.  I had the doctor ask me if i was trying to kill myself and how I could let this go for so long and then said all it would have took to find this is one ultra sound, but yet I couldnt find anyone to do it.  After the first surgery of breaking the stone i had a bad the worst attack as it passed and I was screaming for over 15 minutes i was vomiting the floor was filled with a puddle of sweat from me and the nurse came running in and called the doctor and he injected me with something for the pain and had told me if they did not break up the stone an hour ago my stone would have ruptured from that attack that could have killed me.  So did I save myself from driving to a hopital at 2 in the morning and not chosing the hospital near me, i believe so.  That is what is irritating is I have been to the hospital 3-4 times prior and they did nothing.  Just makes me wonder sometimes before they get to the point of finding out what is really wrong it could be too late, just a little scarry.  At least I know now I will have to do a lot of research and gosh darn it tell them what I want tested and nexxt time refuse to leave unless they do it!!  lol  Which i should have done the first time.  Thank god I took the steps that at did.  With your situation I agree they have done the tested needed and they know what is wrong, there treatment there after would be required as they say, but my experiences with getting to that point for a doctor to actually find out is what has me iffy.  Good luck to you and stay strong!! You sound amazing and you know what is needed.  God bless

Joelle,

I started a 'children and cancer' link in the High Risk area if you are interested.