Topic: On the Verge of Being Diagnosed
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- Posted on: Mar 1, 2007 03:57 pm
Joined: Mar 2007
Posts: 5
Posts: 5
pilgrimsoul wrote:
This is my first post here. I'm 43, and had a hysterectomy 3 years ago due to endometriosis. Have been on HRT ever since and have felt great. Well, during a routine breast exam last Thursday, my gyn found a lump and sent me to have a mammogram.
Went to have the mammo, and the tech kept coming back and doing more and more images of each breast. After 2 hours of straight testing and waiting to be told I could get dressed, it became clear that they were seeing something but not telling me, and I started to get scared. Just when I was about to ask what was going on, they whisked me into an ultrasound room and started doing US. The tech worked on me, both breasts, for nearly an hour. Then the radiologist came in and she herself US'd me for a while. No one would tell me anything except that they saw "something" on both breasts and that it "keeps showing up consistently."
The radiologist then met with me alone for a few minutes and showed me the films and pointed to some little white spots with shadows on them, but was very vague about what we were looking at - just said there were some "areas of concern" in both breasts and that I needed to have a breast MRI. She wouldn't look me in the eye either, and said that a needle biopsy wouldn't be possible for me because the areas in need of testing are too hard to get to. So I guess that means that, at a minimum, I'm going to need a surgical biopsy.
I left to go back to work thinking wtf just happened here? Am I in big trouble? I hadn't been back to work an hour when they called me back and said they had already set up both a breast MRI and a surgical consult appt. to take place in only days (next Monday and Tuesday).
This is all happening so fast and I am just freaking out inside. I can't sleep or concentrate on my job, and I am terrified of what the surgeon is going to tell me on Tuesday once he gets all my mammo, US and MRI results. I don't know which I dread more - getting diagnosed and having to go through heaven knows what, or putting my husband through this if the news is really bad. He so does not deserve to have this happen to him. He's the best husband in the world and I love him more than anything.
Maybe I am getting way ahead of myself and overreacting, but the way they were so secretive and serious - I mean, how can you not be terrified? If anyone can say anything that would just help me calm down enough to think my way through this, I would be so thankful. I am about to lose it...and next week seems so far away when you're waiting for answers. Thank you.
Went to have the mammo, and the tech kept coming back and doing more and more images of each breast. After 2 hours of straight testing and waiting to be told I could get dressed, it became clear that they were seeing something but not telling me, and I started to get scared. Just when I was about to ask what was going on, they whisked me into an ultrasound room and started doing US. The tech worked on me, both breasts, for nearly an hour. Then the radiologist came in and she herself US'd me for a while. No one would tell me anything except that they saw "something" on both breasts and that it "keeps showing up consistently."
The radiologist then met with me alone for a few minutes and showed me the films and pointed to some little white spots with shadows on them, but was very vague about what we were looking at - just said there were some "areas of concern" in both breasts and that I needed to have a breast MRI. She wouldn't look me in the eye either, and said that a needle biopsy wouldn't be possible for me because the areas in need of testing are too hard to get to. So I guess that means that, at a minimum, I'm going to need a surgical biopsy.
I left to go back to work thinking wtf just happened here? Am I in big trouble? I hadn't been back to work an hour when they called me back and said they had already set up both a breast MRI and a surgical consult appt. to take place in only days (next Monday and Tuesday).
This is all happening so fast and I am just freaking out inside. I can't sleep or concentrate on my job, and I am terrified of what the surgeon is going to tell me on Tuesday once he gets all my mammo, US and MRI results. I don't know which I dread more - getting diagnosed and having to go through heaven knows what, or putting my husband through this if the news is really bad. He so does not deserve to have this happen to him. He's the best husband in the world and I love him more than anything.
Maybe I am getting way ahead of myself and overreacting, but the way they were so secretive and serious - I mean, how can you not be terrified? If anyone can say anything that would just help me calm down enough to think my way through this, I would be so thankful. I am about to lose it...and next week seems so far away when you're waiting for answers. Thank you.
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jpann39 Joined: Dec 2006 Posts: 3,400 |
Mar 1, 2007 05:41 pm
jpann39 wrote:
I dont know if I can help calm you down but Im hoping that my story might let you see that IF you are diagnosed it is not the end of the world...... You are in the hardest part of this now, the next few weeks will be very emotional, tiring, stressful, and scarey.. Heres my story: I found my lump while showering...I had an appt with my primary Dr. in a couple of weeks anyway so waited until I saw her....she found the lump easily....sent me for mammo....the techs did the same thing to me as you experienced.....scarey the hell out of me!!!!!!! no one would say anything, then finally the radiologist came in did some more ultra sound pics himself...I finally asked him what he saw...of course the same ole "something but not sure" reply...he said that he really thought I should have it biopsied and asked if I wanted a couple of days to think about it....I said "NO" when can it be done....I was so frantic he did it himself right there on the spot...it took two days for the results...my dr. called in the evening with the news....invasive ductal carcinoma.....the next few days went by in a blurr, Drs office called me at work the next day saying that the surgeon was waiting for me at that very moment....I had to leave work more scared than Ive ever been in my life...drive 40 mintues to meet the surgeon...he read the pathology report from the biopsy with me...not that I remember any of what he said.....sent me for breast mri, blood work up, ekg for pre-op....waited a week then met with him once those results were back....had lumpectomy the following morning (my 46th birthday)..... This all happened to me in about 3 week time frame....but those are the LONGEST 3 weeks of my life.... I am now only 9 radiation treatments from being done....I did not have chemo as there would have been little benefit for me with it...I have worked through this entire nightmare since it started back in Nov. 06.... Im not sure hearing my saga will help you any, but I hope it gives you some kind of faith that if you are diagnosed with breast cancer that there are many, many treatment options out there and you can and will do whatever you need to do to fix this... Your husband will be ok in it too...men react differently than we do, but I think on the over all they are very supportive.... You have found a very helpful web site here so keeping posting and let us know what you hear...or even just post here if you need someone to talk to....we are all in this together and want to help you. Hugs Jule |
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Beesie Joined: Jan 2006 Posts: 4,018 |
Mar 1, 2007 06:05 pm
Beesie wrote:
pilgrimsoul, At most centers, the tech is not supposed to say anything to the patient. And at many centers, even the radiologists are not supposed to tell you what they find - whether it's concerning or not. It's up to the doctor to tell the patient the findings. So don't read anything into the fact that the tech and radiologist weren't specific with you. That's perfectly normal and doesn't mean that they see something terrible on your films. They did see something that needs further checking, but it could be lots of things, some serious, many not serious. When the surgeon looks at your mammogram, ultrasound and MRI, he may be able to give you a better idea of what's there, but the fact is that until the biopsy is done, no one can know for sure if there is cancer. Even if the surgeon says that he thinks that it may be cancer, your biopsy could turn out benign. It happens. A lot. I know it's impossible not to worry. It's a scary time for you. Hopefully this will turn out to be a false alarm but even if it's not, you'll be okay. Good luck next week. |
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VickiTN Joined: Aug 2005 Posts: 2,348 |
Mar 1, 2007 06:11 pm
VickiTN wrote:
pilgrim, I'm sorry that you're having to go through this. The unknown and fearing the worst is definitely sheer torture. But, I will say this, that, yes, you are getting ahead of things right now. Regardless of how serious and how fast things are moving, there is no way that anyone can know with 100% certainty that a lump is benign or cancer until a biopsy of the tissue has been done. From what you've stated, it sounds like you are in excellent hands with the facility that's getting you scheduled so quickly. So many women here have had tremendous delays in getting their doctors to push forward and schedule appointments. So, I see it as a very good thing that you've got your appointments all set up for the additional testing and meeting with the surgeon. As Jule stated above, regardless of what your lump turns out to be - you're going to be fine.... Hang on to the fact that 80% of lumps turn out to be benign. And, even if it doesn't turn out that way, bc is not an automatic death sentence. There have been so many strides made in recent years in the treatment of bc and there are many, many of us bc survivors out here leading normal, fun and productive lives. I know how terrified you're feeling right now - I was once in your shoes. But, I hope I can bring you comfort by telling you that I'll be celebrating my 2 year bc survivor anniversary in May. I've been out of bc treatment for over a year now and doing great. So, even if your fears come true and you receive a bc diagnosis - know that things will be okay. Hang in here with us...we'll hold your hand and lift you up as you wait on your results. Sending prayers up for you that you'll find peace and comfort here and that you'll receive benign results, hugs, vicki |
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bisous3 Joined: Feb 2007 Posts: 127 |
Mar 2, 2007 02:12 am bisous3 wrote: Pilgrimsoul you have come to the right place. No one understands the word "worry" more than the women here. They are wonderful. I will say a prayer for you that everything turns out OK...in the meantime call your primary care doctor and ask for some Xanax. Its the only way I got through the 2 weeks of my questionable mammogram this month. |
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badboob67 Joined: Jan 2007 Posts: 3,329 |
Mar 2, 2007 03:29 am
badboob67 wrote:
Pilgrimsoul, My experience was very much like yours except I was able to have a needle biopsy. Along the way, NO ONE told me what was going on. I was being asked questions about which surgeon I wanted to use while lying on the table having my biopsy. I got pretty angry and almost yelled at them that I don't even know why I would be seeing a surgeon because nobody will tell me what's going on! It all does move very quickly. On the one hand, that's great if there is cancer that needs to be attended to. On the other hand, it is very stressful and leaves your head spinning. I also visited these boards in the days following my biopsy. It was done on a Friday and I had to wait until the next Tuesday to hear a thing. I spent all kinds of time worrying and wondering what was coming. I had told my mom about the biopsy because she was going out of the country and I didn't want her to come back to hear about what happened why she was gone. She had told my brothers and stepsisters (6 of them!) and I was fielding calls and emails, too. Thinking back to that time, I remember visiting these boards to learn about the possibilities and the "what ifs". I know that no amount of reassurance really sunk in. No one was able to help keep my head from spinning. Please know that prayers are coming your way that you have good results! I will also be praying that you find some peace in the midst of all that is happening right now. I am so sorry you are going through this! |
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LightTheWay… Joined: Jan 2007 Posts: 15 |
Mar 2, 2007 09:15 pm
LightTheWay wrote:
OK gotta calm down #1... I've had the LOOK... from the professionals. Remembering that they don't want to give much away because of the courts etc. They are seeing something in both breasts - could this be that they don't understand what's going on... Something they are not used to, don't understand. Hold tight... be informed, be calm, it's your body not theirs. Take Care... one step at a time... |
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Shirlann Joined: Feb 2002 Posts: 7,049 |
Mar 3, 2007 07:50 am
Shirlann wrote:
Hi honey, this is all so hard. I feel bad for you. But you must remember a couple of things. First, 80% of these "thingys" are benign, that is a huge number. Second, the techs can't tell you anything (doctors rule) so they are evasive and act strange, and this has nothing to do with what they see, just the rules. Third, NO ONE can really tell a thing, and that is if you get this far, without the actual tissue under a microscope. Now, my bunch of people took 3 months of every test known to man EXCEPT a biopsy, and I was really, really upset. So while the speed of this group may seem like they are rushing you, it is blessing. I had a horrible 3 months waiting for them to do test after test, all scheduled end to end. AND, in the event that you do have breast cancer, please know that it is very treatable and that there are thousands of us gals out here who have been through treatment and are doing just fine. I myself am 8+ years post treatment and have no evidence of disease. So, if you have BC, you can get through the treatment and come out on the other side and resume your life. You are in a great spot, these women on this site are kind, and wonderful. I am so glad you found this place. Gentle hugs, Shirlann |
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pilgrimsoul… Joined: Mar 2007 Posts: 5 |
Mar 4, 2007 08:53 am
pilgrimsoul wrote:
I want to thank you all so much for taking the time to respond to my plea for help. A kind word, even from someone you've never met in person, can do so much for a heart that's hurting and afraid. The compassion and comeraderie of the women on this board is amazing! I'm especially grateful for the perspective you have offered on how fortunate I am to have medical providers who have fast-tracked my testing, and that it doesn't necessarily mean that my situation is dire. You are so right - overreacting is not going to help me deal with this. It's better to conserve my strength so I'll have it if it turns out I need it for treatment. And the advice about getting some Xanax was so true - I immediately contacted my doctor and got a prescription called in. That one bit of help has made a huge difference in my ability to hold it together and cope, not to mention get a decent night's sleep, while playing the waiting game. I'm so thankful to benefit from your collective wisdom, ladies. It probably sounds cliche, but it is such a comfort to know that others have faced this - and not only summoned their inner strength to fight their bc, but have BEATEN it. If I do get a bc diagnosis, I feel better able to handle it mentally and channel my energy into fighting back hard. And I know I have friends to come to here when I need to talk to someone. Thank you all for your giving hearts! |
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aeshaul Joined: Mar 2007 Posts: 19 |
Mar 22, 2007 08:14 pm aeshaul wrote: Wow! I just posted a message about MRI being delayed a MONTH because I'm on HRT (and have large dense breasts). they won't let me have the MRI until I've been off HRT for a month because HRT increases breast density and apparently can make it harder to get an "uncluttered" image. but I'm concerned because I had a similar mammogram/ultrasound experience to yours 6 months ago (right reast) then about a month later found dimpling in my left breast. At my Feruary 6-month followup, there was no major change in my right breast but they noticed significant changes in my left one - the one with the dimpling. They did many many films, and ultrasound, but because of the density, it was still unclear and I had a followup visit to a surgeon to be palpated by an expert. He said he also couldn't be sure - didn't feel anything, but since my breasts are large and dense, it's hard to tell. He said he didn't remember having seen dimpling without it being linked to breast cancer so recommended an MRI - but the only place in town that does them tells me I have to wait a month. I'm trying to get second opinions and to find out if folks have stories or statistics about dimpling that was NOT related to bc. I'd be very interested in finding places such as yours that recommended getting one right away, even though you'd been on HRT for awhile. I want to do whatever is best, but don't know what it is - wait or not....waiting definitely makes me very very nervous. Feedack from experienced folks out there about where to get info? And also, if pilgrimsoul could have her Dr's send info to me????? THANKS! Don't know if this makes any difference - none of my close family has had breast cance - grandma, mom, sis, but maternal cousin has invasive agressive reat cancer and recommends I don't wait. THANKS! |
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aeshaul Joined: Mar 2007 Posts: 19 |
Mar 22, 2007 08:16 pm aeshaul wrote: OOps! not reat cancer - breast cancer |
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Shirlann Joined: Feb 2002 Posts: 7,049 |
Mar 23, 2007 12:08 pm
Shirlann wrote:
Hi aeshaul, please remember that with some exceptions, most breast cancers are 8 to 12 years old when large enough to be found by ANY MEANS. There are some types (these are rare, anyway) that are super aggressive, but most of the BC's are not greatly affected by waiting a few montns, especially when you will get a much better reading. If they barge ahead, and do the test, and your breast is so dense they don't know what they are looking at, this does not do you a whole lot of good. Sounds to me like they are handling your particular case just fine. (Other than driving you completely crazy with the waiting!) Gentle hugs, Shirlann |
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aeshaul Joined: Mar 2007 Posts: 19 |
Mar 23, 2007 12:51 pm
aeshaul wrote:
Shirlann - Thank you for the feedback. It makes me feel more comfortable about the wait. I've noticed that you are very good at responding to folks and appreciate that. I figure this is also a good time to get into an exercise regime, too, so there's as little bulk in a month. Thanks, Anita |
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aeshaul Joined: Mar 2007 Posts: 19 |
Mar 28, 2007 04:54 pm aeshaul wrote: How did it turn out? |
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pilgrimsoul… Joined: Mar 2007 Posts: 5 |
Apr 2, 2007 03:10 pm
pilgrimsoul wrote:
Sorry I have been offline for a few weeks, dealing with buying a house and moving. Great timing, huh? I met with the surgeon and he said he doesn't think it's cancer, but we are going to have all 3 masses removed on 4/27 and get them biopsied just to be sure. Having the move to focus on and the house to look forward to have helped me keep positive. It also helped enabled me to relax a bit when the surgeon said it didn't look like cancer to him. I know there's still a small chance it could be, but I'm trying to keep that in perspective and not freak out unless I really have something to freak out about. Either way, I'm not going to let this ruin my life! I have a little paperweight on my desk, and it says: "Worrying does not empty tomorrow of its troubles - it empties today of its strength." That little saying is my touchstone lately, and meditating on it for a few minutes each day helps bring me peace. I wish for peace to all of you other women who are facing this health crisis, whether you're getting tested or already diagnosed, or even if you're hurting for someone you love who's going through this. |
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awb Joined: Aug 2005 Posts: 2,881 |
Apr 2, 2007 05:57 pm awb wrote: I thought the last word was "joys"---but I love that saying too, regardless! |
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pilgrimsoul… Joined: Mar 2007 Posts: 5 |
Apr 30, 2007 09:04 am
pilgrimsoul wrote:
I had my surgery this past Friday. I had a lumpectomy on the left side and a wire-guided biopsy on the right. Unfortunately, the guide wire broke during the surgery, and they had a devil of a time locating it for removal. The surgery was expected to take no longer than an hour, but it took more than 2 hours. The extra rooting around in there has made me very sore, but the swelling and bruising on both sides is getting better every day. I plan to go back to work tomorrow, but putting a bra back on is not going to be fun. Has anyone else experienced an allergic reaction to the tape used to hold the dressing in place? I have broken out in a red, angry blistery rash around the perimeter of the tape. The itching is unbearable. I called the nurse this morning to ask about getting a different kind of dressing put on, and she said that I could go ahead and remove what was there, clean the area and just let the air get to it. (Yes, I am going topless today, shameless hussy that I am!) She said I didn't need the large dressing anymore and that when I put on a bra tomorrow, just insert a gauze pad in each bra cup to protect the surgical site (both are covered only by suture strips). I have done what she said except for the wearing the bra part and it is feeling better already. The path report on the biopsies should come back tomorrow, so I'm just waiting for that phone call with good news. If the news is not good, I'm prepared to do whatever is necessary to stop this thing in its tracks. If I have it, it is going DOWN. Period. I'll post again tomorrow with the path results when I get them. Thanks to all you fantastic women for your support. |
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Shirlann Joined: Feb 2002 Posts: 7,049 |
Apr 30, 2007 06:01 pm
Shirlann wrote:
Oh my yes, my old boss was a mess. About 5 years ago she had a hyster. She went in early to have all the testing and she got a wrist band and they told her, "you must keep this on or you won't be admitted". She told them she was allergic, and they just waved her away. Well, the next morning her wrist had swollen so badly they had to cut off the band and she had large water blisters too. Then, when she got to the hospital for the hyster, they had her put on the gown. She told them she could not wear the gown because of the metal snaps, the nurse said, "you have to wear it!" She had 2 inch water blisters the next morning, the gown came off. Then, she was so allergic to the metal instruments they had to rush the surgery, she was allergic to the stiching material, staples and most of all, to the tape. One large oozing mess. Oh, she was allergic to the anesthetic too. She finally got home, in pretty bad shape, and I went to the pharmacy for her and she started on a very low dose HRT, you guessed, by the time I got her to the hospital she was covered in huge welts. It really got to be funny, after a month or so, I sure hope she never had to go in for anything else. Hugs, Shirlann |
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Indigoblue Joined: Jan 2006 Posts: 455 |
Apr 30, 2007 09:56 pm
Indigoblue wrote:
What I thought was an allergic reaction turned out to be a yeast infection on the skin, aggrivated by sweat, etc. Ask your family doc, or a dermatologist to take a sample, and they will prescribe nystop powder and diflucan. The itching was gone in one day. It might help to use cooled in the fridge aloe 99% pure gel. That was the smartest thing I did, as it brought immediate relief until I got the rash dx. Have you tried any kind of antihistamines? Hope you feel better soon. Indi |
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leaf Joined: Dec 2005 Posts: 6,138 |
Apr 30, 2007 10:22 pm
leaf wrote:
Yes, I've had tape allergy more than once. There are different kinds of tape, and different types/brands can, of course, use different raw materials. You can be allergic to the adhesive in tape. For me, paper tape is OK, but I got a nice case of hives with one brand (several decades ago) plastic tape. I may have a topical latex allergy, and I know they used to put latex in a lot of things including underwear elastic. Once when I came home after an overnight procedure, I found this pattern of hives going up my arm. It must have been a delayed reaction to the tape they used since it had a lot of right angles in the pattern. I used some hydrocortisone cream and it resolved in a few days. If it was worse, I would have tried antihistamines. I would check with the doc if it was getting worse, skin peeling, or if it was open, etc. You can be allergic to one brand of tape and not another. You can have allergies that come and go. Tape allergies are relatively common. If you can, its good to find out the brand of tape they used. |
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pilgrimsoul… Joined: Mar 2007 Posts: 5 |
May 2, 2007 12:40 pm
pilgrimsoul wrote:
The rash has cleared up a lot, thank heaven! It was definitely the adhesive in the tape. I peeled off the suture strips this morning, too. The nurse had told me that once the ends start curling up, it's okay to remove them. It felt so good to get that stuff off of my skin! Now, all I have is a couple of large band-aids on the sites inside my bra, and other than the expected soreness, everything's feeling much better! And to add to the good news, the path report came back completely negative! B9 - wooo hooo!!!! |
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momofmeg Joined: Apr 2007 Posts: 55 |
May 2, 2007 12:44 pm
momofmeg wrote:
That is GREAT news!!! So happy for you. Here's to healing now... Take care, Deana |
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Kat63 Joined: Apr 2007 Posts: 53 |
May 2, 2007 02:51 pm
Kat63 wrote:
B9! WOOOO! Great news! Feel better soon 
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