I had a baby 8 months ago (I breastfed). 6 months ago I went to my primary care doctor because I had a painful lump in my breast that popped up overnight and was given antibiotics and told to go home and continue to breastfeed that the lump would work itself out (though I felt I needed a mamogram). The antibotics made most of the pain disappear, however, I went back in 2 months later because the lump was still there. After once again requesting a mamogram, the doc urged me to not worry because I was only 34, and was told keep up the breastfeeding it will get better over time (and was praised for keeping up the breastfeeding). 2 1/2 months after that I went in again and really pushed for a mamogram. She finally agreed that I should probably go get one since the lump was there for almost 6 months. She gave me a refferal. It took me 2 weeks to get an appointment for a mamogram. I had the mamo, they found the lump and decided that I needed an ultrasound. The doc came in and shook her head telling me she was sorry over and over saying that it was "highly suspicious" of being cancerous (2 mm in size). Then as I was about to leave, she also found 3 areas of calcifications in the other breast. She then asked me if I had time to do an MRI. The findings in the MRI (which were revealed to me by my primary care doc) were the same as the ultrasound (plus they saw something on my liver that my primary care doc, who I no longer trust, dismissed as "it's probably nothing but they have to list it because it was seen). I called the nearest cancer hospital center I could find. At the first appointment he did a core biopsy on the right breast (the one with the lump) but sent me to another department to get and ultrsound guided biopsy (where you lay on a table face down and your breasts fit in these holes and then they clamp your breast with the same clamps used in the traditional mamogram). They couldn't get to the area where 2 of the calcifications were (almost under my arm pit), so they decided that when the lump was scheduled to be removed on the other breast, that they would go in and remove the 2 under my armpit and do a fine needle aspiration on the ones by my areola. My biopsy results came back "inconclusive" because he says they didn't get enough tissue. So the next step is to operate to do all the biospies in one day (which is about 2 weeks from now). He has already recommended a full masectomy and chemo and radiation if this is cancer (is this normal at this point???) Plus, he doesn't even want to discuss the liver issue (or biopsy it while I'm under) until we know what's going on with the breasts. He tells me once we know the prognosis of the breasts that he will give me a few weeks to decide what treatment plan I would like. I am afraid time is running out because this lump has been there for 6 months that I've known .... with docs continuously brushing my requests off (and now having to wait for surgery for 2 weeks, then wait for the results, then wait a few weeks to "think about what I want"). I have a 5 year old little boy and an 8 month old baby that I can't look at without crying. What about my babies? That's all that goes through my mind. I have been a nervous wreck since the first mamogram (about 1 1/2 weeks ago). My husband doesn't understand. He thinks it's all just "nothing" and everything's going to be fine (he's even upset that I don't want to go on a cruise memorial Day weekend). I just want to be alive to see my babies grow, graduate, marry and become parents themselves. To kiss their boo-boos when they're hurt and to cheer them on when they're doing something great. I want to be here for them to share their happiest moments and be there for a hug and someone they can come to when life's not going their way. I am so scared.
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PaminFL Joined: May 2008 Posts: 40 |
May 18, 2008 01:25 am
PaminFL wrote:
Also wanted to add, that in this opereation, he doesn't want to remove the lump, only biopsy it (???). Has anyone ever heard of a story even remotely like mine? If so, how did their situation work out? Please help, if you can. |
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MelbMum Joined: May 2008 Posts: 30 |
May 18, 2008 04:27 am
MelbMum wrote:
I am appalled by this story, and so, so sorry that you have been handled so badly. Having said that, don't start panicing yet. Until you have conclusive results it is just a possibility that this is BC. (yeah, I do realise how stupid it sounds to tell you not to worry, I had a very different scenario, but I still was sick with worry....). I was 34 at diagnosis and I had to push for a mammogram even though I just had a gut feeling, no lump to be felt by anyone. Breastfeeding would have confused them regarding your breasts. I know that when I was b/f I had quite lumpy breasts, so in fairness to the doctors they would come across 1000 b/f women who DON'T have b/c for every one of the poor women who do. Having said that, they should still have investigated this further. They should always trust the opinion of the patient and not write you off as 'being too young'. Makes me so mad. I would be getting a second opinion if you can. I find it bizarre that he is not even planning to remove the mass when doing the operation. As for your GP, I would be getting rid of them quick fast. I will be adding you to my prayers to give you strength during this difficult time. Try not to panic. Just be as assertive as you can through this process. Don't accept anything that you are not comfortable with. Finally, keep in mind that b/c is now viewed as a 'chronic' disease. If it turns out that you do get a dx, odds are more in your favour than ever before. Hang in there girl. Whatever happens you will be fine. Thinking of you, MM |
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jalydiju Joined: May 2008 Posts: 141 |
May 18, 2008 07:51 am
jalydiju wrote:
Hi PaminFL, On thread *Surgery for real now* we have been discussing a little of familys reactions and feelings. We are dealing with similar attitudes. I havent been here long and dont know yet what is happening in my case, not knowing really curdles the brain. Thinking of you and sending support and understanding |
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LUVmy2girlZ… Joined: Nov 2007 Posts: 2267 |
May 18, 2008 12:58 pm
LUVmy2girlZ wrote:
PaminFl ~ Waiting is thus by far the hardest part! I too looked at my children and thoughts were rapidly going through my mind. Remember 80 % of lumps are benign! You will soon get a "plan of action" and feel somewhat in control...and 'if' this should be cancer...remember Breast Cancer is a SURVIVABLE disease !!!! I am surprised that your Dr. wants you to have a mastectomy though...does it cross midline ? In my case the tumor was large and crossed midline so a lumpectomy was not an option for me....make certain you are getting all the answers to your questions keep an ongoing list handy. I know you feel time is of the essance and Dr.'s told me I could of had this for YEARS...I too could not believe the "waiting" periods between appointments/surgerys and they kept reassuring me that the wait would be not putting me in any additional jeopardy. I too got second opinions --- highly recommended that way you go with your gut instincts and something of such importance SHOULD always have more than one opinion. Though you don't feel like a "vacation" do it for you and your family...it will be good for ALL of you besides, it will make the "wait" go by that much faster. Enjoy your life and keep the faith !!! Much LUV Mastectomy 7 weeks radiation (35 rounds) Laughter, is the shock absorber that eases the blows of life....
Dx 11/19/2007, DCIS, 5cm, Stage 0, Grade 3, 0/3 nodes, ER-/PR- |
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TexasMelody… Joined: May 2008 Posts: 28 |
May 18, 2008 01:07 pm
TexasMelody wrote:
PaminFl - You poor baby! I understand completely and I am praying for you. Here are hugs to you from Texas! LUVmy2girlZ - I don't understand "cross the midline"? |
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LUVmy2girlZ… Joined: Nov 2007 Posts: 2267 |
May 18, 2008 01:12 pm
LUVmy2girlZ wrote:
If you divide your breast into quadrants and the tumor is w/ in that quadrant a lumpectomy can be performed ...if its "widespread" it will 'cave' in so therefore a mastectomy is recommended ( Or size of tumor can determine lumpectomy vs. mx ) Mastectomy 7 weeks radiation (35 rounds) Laughter, is the shock absorber that eases the blows of life....
Dx 11/19/2007, DCIS, 5cm, Stage 0, Grade 3, 0/3 nodes, ER-/PR- |
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Shirlann Joined: Feb 2002 Posts: 6686 |
May 18, 2008 06:12 pm
Shirlann wrote:
Oh honey, there are many of us with stories that curl your hair. I had a lump, they told me it was nothing because "cancer of the breast is spikey, and your lump is smooth". 2 years later, after 3 months of every test known, I was finally diagnosed with a rare form of breast cancer known as Medullary. It is characterized by "smooth edges". MAD, I was hopping mad. But what can you do? I did go to UCLA for a second opinion, as I had lost all confidence in my "team". Now I am 9 & 1/2 years post treatment, doing very well, but still angry at how I was pushed off, and otherwise treated. You are doing the right things, and we will all pray for a big B9 B9 B9 Gentle hugs, Shirlann |
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DianeE Joined: Jan 2008 Posts: 131 |
May 18, 2008 08:53 pm
DianeE wrote:
I am so sorry that you are going through this. It is totally normal to be wild with fear and anxiety. A few things to keep in mind, the Dr. you are seeing is CRAZY to be talking treatment options with any kind of specifics when there is no pathology report to base it off of. I would call a breast surgeon first thing Monday morning and I think they will be able to get you in sooner. The week I was diagnosed, my brain would not rest and I felt like I was on a perpetual spin. I called my PCP to give me something for anxiety just to take the edge off. It really worked for me as I feel I was able to participate more in discussions with physicians and family regarding what was going to be happening. I think I would have been non-functional without it. I stayed on it 2 weeks and have not used it since. Your kids will get you through this stress, no matter what the diagnosis turns out to be. I totally understand your fears of watching them grow up. I actually started projects of photo albums, movies, books that I read and then wrote comments on my thoughts in the margin and then I realized I was spending too much time planning for my demise instead of living. Come back and tell us how you are doing. God bless you and you will be in my prayers. You have found a great group of women to lean on that have shared your fears and will be here for you. Diane Dx 7/7/2007, IBC, 2cm, Stage IIIb, Grade 3, 2/22 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- |
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PaminFL Joined: May 2008 Posts: 40 |
May 22, 2008 01:21 am
PaminFL wrote:
Thank you all for your encouraging words of support! It really does help to talk to people who really DO "understand". You ALL have been (or are) in my shoes and know exactly what I am going through (as far as fears and anxieties of what the future holds). THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH!!! MelbMum- As far as the GP goes... they are history! jalydiju- Thank you for the thread! LUVmy2girlZ- My lump is 2mm x 1.6mm (or is it cm? How tumors are measured) and located on my right breast upper inside (towards cleavage). It does not cross the mid line. He says a lumpectomy if it's cancer in only one breast... but my left breast also has 3 areas of calcifications "highly suspicious" of cancer. If there is cancer there also, he recommends a double masectomy. I took your advice about the vacation... but not the cruise (too long to be away from my babies!) Instead we are going to a beachside resort for two days. I think your'e right about making time go by faster... Thanks! MR 1- Thanks for the hugs from Texas. (((Hugs back from Florida!))) Shirlann- I am so sorry to hear that happened to you. Sounds like you got the same run around that I've gotten. I am happy to hear that you are doing great 9 1/2 years later! DianeE- I know what you mean about the photo albums and project planning. I am scrambling around catching up on my scrapbooking of my babies photos (adding my little thoughts to each one). I think the reason we do this is because while we don't want our children to grieve their entire lives... but we don't want them to forget us or erase us from their minds (not intentionally). We also want them to know how special our times were together and know how very much we love them and how much they mean to us, weather we are here in person or in spirit. My babies mean the WORLD to me and I feel these scrapbooks are something that will always be a part of me and them, something they can hold on to, something that I created just for them! Plus my biggest fear is my 8 month old won't remember me or know who I am. I want to make sure he has something to help him know the person his Mommy was. But I also agree, that you can really get caught up in your projects while you could be spending time with them. (I try to only do it when they are in bed) It's a catch 22. Thank you all for keeping me in your prayers! Each and every one of you are in mine as well! Thank you for taking the time to make someone you don't even know feel a little less scared. We all need a boost from time to time. God Bless! |
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LUVmy2girlZ… Joined: Nov 2007 Posts: 2267 |
May 22, 2008 09:25 am, edited May 22, 2008 09:27 AM
by LUVmy2girlZ
LUVmy2girlZ wrote:
PaminFL~ MRI and Mamo's can determine the approximate size, however it can only be accurately measured when the tumor is completely removed at surgery and examined by the pathologist. This will determine your path of treatment depending on grade, stage and any lymphovascular invasion. Here's an article re: Mamo's......... Mammography Can Measure Growth Rate of Breast Cancer Tumor New research indicates that screening mammography may provide estimates of breast cancer tumor growth rates. Tumor growth is an important consideration in the planning of screening programs, clinical trials, and cause-and-effect studies. Though previous studies have measured tumor growth among small, select populations, researchers in the current study monitored tumor growth among a large population. Newer estimating procedures were utilized, which incorporated data from mammography screening tests. When compared with previous models for tumor progression, this model utilizing mammography data was found to be increasingly more accurate in estimating tumor size. Researchers concluded that screening mammography, along with tumor measurements, can provide reliable estimates of tumor growth and tumor size among women. However, breast cancer tumor growth rates vary substantially among women, particularly among younger and older women. Pam, I know the uncertainty can put you in a dark hole...looking at your family can be heart wrenching...let it be your strength!! You will get your plan and move forward and you will look back and realize how far you came. You will laugh again and there will be 'somedays' you won't think of BC for a min. and that min will turn into hours and those hours will turn into days and so on...I pray your 'someday' will come soon! BC sucks bottom line and the shock of it all can be too overwhelming but today 1 out of 7 women will get diagnosed w/ BC...and with that unfortunate statistic comes awesome technology as its unfortunately in demand! I am glad to hear you are going away...though mentally not...I know but cherish these times as soon you will be on a path of healing!! Keep the faith!!! Much LUV Mastectomy 7 weeks radiation (35 rounds) Laughter, is the shock absorber that eases the blows of life....
Dx 11/19/2007, DCIS, 5cm, Stage 0, Grade 3, 0/3 nodes, ER-/PR- |
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LUVmy2girlZ… Joined: Nov 2007 Posts: 2267 |
May 22, 2008 09:38 am
LUVmy2girlZ wrote:
PS...I want to add like Diane posted...you may want to speak to your PCP re: anxiety meds....I am not one to take ANYTHING ...and I did not want to feel "loopy" as I wanted a sharp mind...my PCP explained a very very low dose will take the "edge off" and only filled my meds for approx. one month. When I took it I thought this isn't working I don't feel any different...yet I did have a bit a calmness like a glass of wine...which can be another option to calm your nerves a bit...this is no time to be superwoman...be patient with yourself and one day at a time! Much LUV Mastectomy 7 weeks radiation (35 rounds) Laughter, is the shock absorber that eases the blows of life....
Dx 11/19/2007, DCIS, 5cm, Stage 0, Grade 3, 0/3 nodes, ER-/PR- |
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