Topic: Women Warm the Heart

Our sports editor in the newspaper wrote a story about it saying "Women warm the heart; men will stomp on it."

I wrote this letter back to him:

There was a beautiful display of compassion shown by Central Washington’s Mallory Holtman and Liz Wallace toward their fallen opponent, Western Oregon’s Sara Tucholsky.  They carried the injured girl because it was the right thing to do, not because they knew they would become national stars and make YouTube.

John Canzano wrote that this would never happen on a boys’ team, that boys and men are taught to win, win, win.  He wants boys to be taught that there’s more than winning.  But I believe there is nurture in women’s nature that men may not have, or may not want to show.

Three years ago I had surgery for breast cancer.  I specifically told my friends that I was tough and didn’t need their help, but I privately worried how I was going to manage.  The day of my surgery and for 45 consecutive days after, women of my neighborhood brought dinner to me and my family, until I was back on my feet.

I continue to see that compassion on a daily basis when I join a world-wide group of women “talking” to each other on the breastcancer.org website.  My husband and my doctor don’t understand why I continue to read and write about cancer, because sometimes I cry for women who I don’t even know.  But there is amazing compassion and knowledge shared.  These women love each other, and carry each other through everything--interpreting pathology reports, comparing reactions to chemo, laughing with baldness, and words of comfort for the dying.

I don’t know if something that innate can be taught.  But I think that boys should be taught that compassion is a strength not a weakness.  And when girls (and boys) cry, let’s not say “You’re such a girl.”

sally 

Sally, that was very well written and I agree about the bonds with women we don't even know.