Hi everyone:
I was sitting at my computer feeling quite the victim not knowing where to turn as I keep putting on the "brave face" for everyone I know. When they ask, I smile and say "everything's just fine".
I'm waiting for results from my biopsy and hoping that my cancer hasn't recurred a second time. If so, this will be my 3rd time battling this beast in 5 years. I'm hopeful but also realistic. Words my doctor used included "disappointing" and "alarming".
This month has been difficult:
*my youngest daughter had the flu and ran a high fever for 4 solid days - not to mention the few days in bed afterwards
*my husband caught the stomach flu near the end of my first daughter's bout of flu and was in bed for 3 days; and
*my oldest daughter caught the flu (which developed into tonsilitis and strep throat) and ran a high fever for 4 solid days.
*I have a pile of snow in my front yard that you can barely see over not to mention the issue of getting my car out of the driveway - I can't believe it's the end of March and the weather's so lousy
*Even my dog's arthritis is "acting up" and he's miserable.
That was the first 3 weeks of March. You can guess who looked after each one while they were sick.....
I had my biopsy yesterday and, fearful about my suspected allergies to "freezing", the doctor refused to give me freezing with the procedure. They took 3 samples and I felt each and every one.
Lying awkwardly on the table, I must have aggrevated one of my rib metastices as I'm having difficulty moving (and breathing) 'cause it hurts even with pain meds.
I'm feeling drained, defeated and sad. I know that this too, will pass, but I just had to get this "out there" so I'm not carrying this around any longer. I'm feeling tired of this 'victim mentality'. I'm a little worried about successfully conquering this beast, yet again.
I'm not one to vent but I'm at the end of my rope.
I'm sure you guys understand.
Cheryl in Toronto
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TenderIsOur… Joined: May 2007 Posts: 3202 |
Mar 27, 2008 09:15 pm
TenderIsOurMight wrote:
It cannot be emphasized too strongly that treatment of each patient is a highly individualized matter. (FDA-approved labeling for warfarin (Coumadin) NDA 9-218/5-105)
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SLH Joined: Oct 2007 Posts: 510 |
Mar 28, 2008 01:58 am
SLH wrote:
Hi Cheryl, I am totally with you. I've been feeling very down, but trying to appear upbeat and energetic. And like you, I've also had a triple-dip, anesthetic-free biopsy. Every dr should have to experience the pain. Maybe they would be more compassionate and take the few extra minutes to use lidocaine! I've been analyzing this energy-draining feeling. I think it's a combination of the day-to-day stress (kids sick, appointments to remember, who needs to get where at what time...) Add to that some major unsolvable problems (For me, it's my mom sliding toward senility, my youngest with ADD, my oldest with panic-disorder). Together, this would all be stressful, but manageable. But with the aches and pains and anxiety of cancer, it is quite the overload! I hope that your biopsy turns out well. In my case, it was a calcified lump of cells on my chest that the dr said was very common after mastectomies. One of my friends sent me this today and it made me smile. Click on this link: http://www.procreo.jp/labo/flower_garden.swf You'll get a black page. Then click your mouse anywhere on the page and see what happens. Take care, sally |
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Kerry1000 Joined: Feb 2006 Posts: 120 |
Mar 28, 2008 08:03 am
Kerry1000 wrote:
Hi Cheryl, I'm so sorry you're going through this. There's no 'victim mentality' here, you're having an absolutely dreadful month. Even without the horrible biopsy and the threat of the cancer returning, it sounds awful. I hope and pray that the biopsy comes out negative, that your family remains healthy, and that you win the lottery or an all-expenses paid vacation to Florida - you deserve it! Kerry Dx 4/19/2006, IDC, <1cm, Stage IIa, Grade 3, 1/5 nodes, ER-/PR-, HER2+ |
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mason204 Joined: Jan 2006 Posts: 102 |
Mar 28, 2008 11:58 am
mason204 wrote:
Thank you everyone, for your kind words. Thanks, Sally, for the link--that was pretty cute!! I woke up this morning feeling better, that is, until I sneezed. I ended up back in bed and my hubby wants me to go to emergency for x-rays. I'm sure I did something to one of my ribs while sneezing but I'm also sure that the hospital will send me home and tell me to rest and take pain meds (which I'm doing). I'd rather stay home then spend 8 hours in the emergency room waiting. Next week I'll be spending enough time in doctors' offices - my schedule is: Monday - visit to allergist Tuesday - day at home (thankfully) Wednesday - dentist appointment Thursday - chemo (herceptin) Friday - visit to surgeon (for results from biopsy) I think I'll cancel the dentist's appointment. 4 doctor visits in a week is more than enough punishment. Thanks again, everyone... Cheryl. Dx 12/23/2003, , Stage IV, Grade 3, ER-/PR-, HER2+ |
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nancyluvspi… Joined: Oct 2006 Posts: 43 |
Mar 30, 2008 10:05 pm
nancyluvspink wrote:
hi Cheryl, Biopsies are the WORST. I would rather go thru surgery than ever have another biopsy. You feel so helpless and it hurts so bad. It is torture. I hate them. I hope yours turns out good. I can relate to the day to day stress with sick kids, and keeping appointments, and paying bills, it is so exhausting. I wish you the best. Nancy Dx 5/2006, IDC, 2cm, Stage II, Grade 3, 1/11 nodes, ER-/PR-, HER2+ |
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