Skip to content
Forum IndexForum: Family Issues for Those Who Have Breast Cancer → Topic: My husband made a confession
« Forum: Family Issues for Those Who Have Breast Cancer: Ask questions, see advice, and share stories on how to deal with your kids, partners and parents when you have breast cancer.

Topic: My husband made a confession

Log in to post a reply
Joined: Sep 2007
Posts: 211
  • Posted on: Feb 7, 2008 06:32 pm
mke wrote:

But not as juicy as the title implies.  A bit of history - my first round of BC in 98 my husband was a selfish turkey, I just about left him, it was a tense time.  We sorted it out and had been getting along better than in years when BC #2 came along in 06.  He was OK for a while and then after accompanying me to a bone scan got kind of funny again.  I thought "Oh, good grief here we go again".  But then he returned to normal and  I didn't ask about it or think much about it again.

Well BC #3 has come along and we are awaiting the results of yet another bone scan.  Finally he tells me about the previous one where he could see the results as they unfolded but I couldn't.  I had the flat scan and in his words "a spot on your rib lit up".  They they put me in some machine that sort of rotated around me.  In his words "Then it shone like a nova".  That was it.  In his mind I was Stage IV, a goner.  He had to keep it a secret, wait for the doctors to tell me and it was difficult for him to be with me hiding what he knew.

The "nova" was a previously broken rib, it was still pretty bright on this bone scan so I hope that's still all it is.   The point of all this is that we really don't know what our husbands are going through.  Some of them are just jerks, but others care a great deal and just don't know how to cope.  Just as only those who have been in our situation "get it", maybe we can't really "get" what our husbands are going through.

Posts 1 - 3 (3 total)
wishiwere
Joined: Dec 2007
Posts: 1461
Feb 7, 2008 06:38 pm wishiwere wrote:

Mke....It's so great that you posted this. Hopefully, both survivors and those supporting us will see it and grow from it!  It is hard to understand what the ones 'behind' the scenes feel.  And that is true for a new friend, spouse, so, or even the health care professionals that attempt to cure each and every one of us.

THanks for sharing this!  And {{hugs}} to both you and your dh!

wishiwere
Dx 9/21/2007, ILC, 1cm, Stage I, Grade 2, 0/4 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-
iodine
Joined: Oct 2002
Posts: 7154
Feb 8, 2008 01:00 am iodine wrote:

Huge exhale!  My first response was "oh, no" and I was so relieved to read your post.  Bless his heart.  What a kind man and what a beautiful woman you are to share with us this intimate part of your lives.

Thank you.

Dotti---BE NOT AFRAID, Pope John Paul
otter
Joined: Jan 2008
Posts: 1863
Feb 28, 2008 12:00 am otter wrote:

mke, thanks from me, too.  As hard as this is on us, most of us can't know what it's like for our loved ones to go through it from their perspective.

My dh, for example, was acting strangely and was very argumentative at first.  Now, he's my very best friend and colleague through everything.

otter 


Dx 1/14/2008, IDC, 1cm, Stage I, Grade 2, 0/3 nodes, ER+/PR-, HER2-

© 2008 Breastcancer.org. All rights reserved.