I was DX'd with IDC with invasion 5/2006. Finished treatments, got my hair back, feel great...........my problem is one I never expected but my 17 year old daughter resents me for having BC to much it is effecting our relationship. She seems so angry at me and is now worried she is going to die of cancer. The problem between us is so deep that she throws everything we once shared and loved under the bus saying she never enjoyed those activities anyway. It breaks my heart and I really miss my little girl. I keep telling myself she's 17 and will be normal again at 22 or so.........in the mean time how do I fix this? her resentment is so strong she barely will look at me or speak directly to me. I understand her anger and fear and just want to help her deal with it since it isn't easy on eme either.
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badboob67 Joined: Jan 2007 Posts: 2254 |
Feb 20, 2008 09:25 am
badboob67 wrote:
bborbone, I am so sorry you are experiencing this! I don't have daughters but have 3 sons ages 11, 13, and 17. I was diagnosed 2 years ago with breast cancer that had already spread to my bones. It's hard to know what are normal "growing pains" and what is related to the cancer. I can't imagine how hard it must be for a young adult to hear his or her parent has cancer. Their inner thoughts are in such turmoil anyway as they struggle to "grow up" and become independent adults. Do you think you could contact the cancer center where you had your treatments and ask if they have a therapist or social worker that could help you? I think it's important to have someone who has experience counseling people and families with cancer. Even if you can't get your daughter to go, you will be able to learn some coping strategies that can help you both through this difficult time. You are right...she's bound to be "normal" again at 22 or so. I remember "waking up" around that age and seeing my mother as a human being. But, there are 5 years between now and then so talking to a counselor can help you make it there! (((HUGS))) When you're down to nothing, GOD is up to something! http://bb67.wikispaces.com/
Dx 2/15/2006, IDC, 5cm, Stage IV, Grade 2, 24/27 nodes, mets, ER+/PR+, HER2- |
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KariLynn Joined: Jul 2005 Posts: 4415 |
Feb 20, 2008 09:43 am
KariLynn wrote:
Your daughter might benefit from a counselor that she can share her fears with. The teen years are hard even if there are no "crises" to deal with. If you can solve your problem, then what is the need of worrying? If you cannot solve it, then what is the use of worrying?
Dx 6/2/2005, IDC, 2cm, Stage IV, 14/25 nodes, mets, ER+/PR+, HER2- |
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wishiwere Joined: Dec 2007 Posts: 1342 |
Feb 20, 2008 09:47 am
wishiwere wrote:
Diane has good advice. A counselor whether for you or for both if you get a 17 y/o into it, is sound advice. Yes, it could be 90% hormones at that age, but still, who knows what will happen in the next 5 years of her thinking about this without dealing with it. Hopefully that's all it is, but..... How long has she been like this? And how long were you in treatment? Perhaps she felt overwhelmed with responsiblity at the time? Perhaps she is scared about her own chances of this happening? Have you 2 discussd during this time the risks she faces? I know even at 24, my own dd is having problems talking yet about her risks. She is just now starting to be to discuss it a little, but fearful. Good luck... wishiwere
Dx 9/21/2007, ILC, 1cm, Stage I, Grade 2, 0/4 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- |
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