Women seeking a lifelong mate might do well to choose the guy a notch below them in the looks category. New research reveals couples in which the wife is better looking than her husband are more positive and supportive than other match-ups.
The reason, researchers suspect, is that men place great value on beauty, whereas women are more interested in having a supportive husband.
Researchers admit that looks are subjective, but studies show there are some universal standards, including large eyes, "baby face" features, symmetric faces, so-called average faces, and specific waist-hip ratios in men versus women.
Past research has shown that individuals with comparable stunning looks are attracted to each other and once they hook up they report greater relationship satisfaction. These studies, however, are mainly based on new couples, showing that absolute beauty is important in the earliest stages of couple-hood, said lead researcher James McNulty of the University of Tennessee. But the role of physical attractiveness in well-established partnerships, such as marriage, is somewhat of a mystery.
The new study, published in the February issue of the Journal of Family Psychology, reveals looks continue to matter beyond that initial attraction, though in a different way.
Supportive spouses
McNulty's team assessed 82 couples who had married within the previous six months and had been together for nearly three years prior to tying the knot. Participants were on average in their early to mid-20s.
Researchers videotaped as each spouse discussed with their partner a personal problem for 10 minutes. The tapes were analyzed for whether partners were supportive of spouses' issues, which included goals to eat healthier, to land a new job and to exercise more often.
"A negative husband would've said, 'This is your problem, you deal with it,'" McNulty said, "versus 'Hey, I'm here for you; what do you want me to do?; how can I help you?'"
A group of trained "coders" rated the facial attractiveness of each spouse on a scale from 1 to 10, with the perfect 10 representing the ultimate babe. About a third of the couples had a more attractive wife, a third a more attractive husband and the remaining partners showed matching looks.
Trophy wives
Overall, wives and husbands behaved more positively when the woman was better looking.
The finding "seems very reasonable," said Dan Ariely, a professor of behavioral economics at MIT's Program in Media Arts and Sciences and Sloan School of Management. "Men are very sensitive to women's attractiveness. Women seem to be sensitive to men's height and salary," said Ariely, who was not involved in the recent study.
In couples with more attractive husbands, both partners were less supportive of one another. McNulty suggests wives mirror, in some ways, the level of support they get from husbands.
"The husband who's less physically attractive than his wife is getting something more than maybe he can expect to get," McNulty told LiveScience. "He's getting something better than he's providing at that level. So he's going to work hard to maintain that relationship."
Men who are more attractive than their partners would theoretically have access to partners who are more attractive than their current spouses, McNulty said. The "grass could be greener" mentality could make these men less satisfied and less committed to maintain the marriage.
Physical attractiveness of husbands is not as important to women, the researchers suggest. Rather, wives are looking for supportive husbands, they say.
So it seems the mismatch in looks is actually a perfect match. "Equitable is unlikely to mean the same on every dimension," Ariely said during a telephone interview. "It just means that overall two people make sense together."
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Rocktobermo
Joined: Sep 2005 Posts: 3156 |
Apr 11, 2008 12:38 pm
Rocktobermom wrote:
That was from Yahoo! News as reported by www.livescience.com My Indian name is: Runs With Beer
Dx 7/18/2005, IDC, 1cm, Stage I, Grade 3, 0/2 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2+ |
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FitChik Joined: Sep 2005 Posts: 4227 |
Apr 11, 2008 08:45 pm
FitChik wrote:
Um, yeah, so I was just thinking today about how I should limit myself to ugly guys with small penises so that they'd be eternally grateful for my attentions and then, of course, be faithful, committed and adoring. OK, I'm so sorry, y'all...I just couldn't resist poking a little fun at what sounds like something concocted to get gorgeous babes in the beds of busted pervs. But I'm sure that it's for real and based on very sound research OK, I'll shut up now...... ~Marin "Above all, be the heroine of your life, not the victim." ~Nora Ephron
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LorenaB Joined: Feb 2008 Posts: 538 |
Apr 11, 2008 11:09 pm
LorenaB wrote:
So does this mean that any man, regardless of attractiveness, can find a mate, but that less-attractive women are basically screwed? Dx 12/20/2007, IDC, 1cm, Stage II, Grade 3, 1/11 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- |
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FitChik Joined: Sep 2005 Posts: 4227 |
Apr 12, 2008 04:58 pm
FitChik wrote:
Unless we can find a man uglier than ourselves which, of course, is impossible (has anyone looked through the online profiles of men over 40 lately?) ~Marin "Above all, be the heroine of your life, not the victim." ~Nora Ephron
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LisaSDCA Joined: Jan 2007 Posts: 1220 |
Apr 12, 2008 05:13 pm
LisaSDCA wrote:
People, the "study" above : - looked at couples married for under 6 months. They were frickin' honeymooners! So they went out together for a while first, they were still new marriages. And they discussed "eating healthier" - oh my. Let's try sex, in-laws, finances, or who does the chores - those are the arguement starters. At least after a few years and it's a real marriage. - looked at individuals under 25. They're too young to be married anyway! Babies! - based their assumptions on ten-minute observations. Yah, right. Truly valid conclusions may be drawn from that, I'm sure! Gawd, I hate bad science. Lisa Dx 1/24/2007, IDC, 2cm, Stage II, Grade 3, 0/5 nodes, ER-/PR-, HER2- |
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Rocktobermo
Joined: Sep 2005 Posts: 3156 |
Apr 12, 2008 05:59 pm
Rocktobermom wrote:
My ex-husband used to go to "online" forums with men and women and it would drive him crazy when guys without jobs, not too attractive or smart would try to go after the hottie women. It would also drive him crazy when the opposite would happen. I forget what he used to "preach" ... something like "know your rating" or "rank" What he always forgot was that sometimes people fall in love with the heart of a person instead of their face. My Indian name is: Runs With Beer
Dx 7/18/2005, IDC, 1cm, Stage I, Grade 3, 0/2 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2+ |
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FitChik Joined: Sep 2005 Posts: 4227 |
Apr 13, 2008 10:14 am, edited Apr 13, 2008 10:15 AM
by FitChik
FitChik wrote:
You know, to get serious for a minute, I do wonder just what it takes to make a good judgment about a potential mate. I guess this is more a question for consideration with online dating. I mean, it's pretty natural to evaluate someone based on his looks. But, in my experience, it comes to mean very little when you meet up in person and begin to engage in conversation. The most essential ingredient then, for me, is that elusive thing called "chemistry" and, lately, I've started to question what that is. I don't think that it's just physical attraction, but its also not just a decent personality. Any thoughts? ~Marin "Above all, be the heroine of your life, not the victim." ~Nora Ephron
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snowyday Joined: Jun 2007 Posts: 1229 |
Apr 13, 2008 10:41 am
snowyday wrote:
Marin your right "chemistry" is so important in a relationship. I remember still getting butterflies in my belly ten years after with my sons father, that never happened again. I still haven't done any online dating stuff yet still to tired and going through to much crap, but some days I wonder am I going to be alone forever, or die alone, probably because I'm to damn lazy and tired to start any relationship, cancer, as someone else said, the gift that keeps on giving. And the above study should be redone with with couple that are more mature and together longer. PN
Dx 5/18/2007, IDC, 3cm, Stage IV, Grade 3, / nodes, mets, ER-/PR-, HER2- |
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xxxx Joined: Feb 2007 Posts: 29 |
Apr 13, 2008 01:02 pm, edited Apr 13, 2008 02:12 PM
by xxxx
xxxx wrote:
This Post was deleted by xxxx.
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FitChik Joined: Sep 2005 Posts: 4227 |
Apr 13, 2008 09:58 pm
FitChik wrote:
Aw, Pearl, you know the online dating thing doesn't take a whole lot of energy. It's a bit scary in the very beginning because you feel like you're on the selling block or something, but once you relax and just focus on learning stuff about the guys you're writing to, it becomes fun! And you don't have to even meet up with anyone if you don't want to (in fact, there are some guys out there who just want to have cyber-sex, but that's not what I'm recommending Cheer up, girl. Once you do get yourself out there, you will meet someone! And they'll be grateful to have such a kind, loving (and very funny!) woman! ~Marin "Above all, be the heroine of your life, not the victim." ~Nora Ephron
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Jaybird627 Joined: Aug 2005 Posts: 2869 |
Apr 16, 2008 09:39 pm
Jaybird627 wrote:
Pearl, get yourself out there and get the ball rolling! I understand the "butterflies" thing as I had it with the guy who broke my heart 8 years ago but that hasn't stopped me from dating and from looking for that again. I absolutely LOVE the fact that men are out there wanting me (actually they want any woman but I try not to let that interfere with my hopes/dreams/horniness) and if this one or that one doesn't work out then I know there will be another one just around the corner. Men are simple creatures; they want to get laid, they want companionship. It doesn't matter what we look like naked, they just want us naked!!! Jaybird
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Rocktobermo
Joined: Sep 2005 Posts: 3156 |
Apr 17, 2008 11:05 am
Rocktobermom wrote:
LOL!! Not in costume? My Indian name is: Runs With Beer
Dx 7/18/2005, IDC, 1cm, Stage I, Grade 3, 0/2 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2+ |
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Jaybird627 Joined: Aug 2005 Posts: 2869 |
Apr 17, 2008 01:44 pm
Jaybird627 wrote:
Rock, they want us any way we'll give it to them!!! Jaybird
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