After Active Treatment Ends: When People Stop Asking

When I was diagnosed with breast cancer, my family and friends rallied to support me. They expressed love and concern, and offered their help. I was grateful for the many ways they showed they cared: they cooked meals, drove me to appointments, and even introduced me to other breast cancer survivors. But soon after my active treatment ended, those same friends and relatives seemed curiously …

Choosing No Reconstruction — Are You the Only One?

If you’re facing a mastectomy, you may be surprised to find that virtually everyone expects you to have reconstruction. Your doctors, your friends, and even your family may believe that without reconstruction you won’t be happy and you won’t feel whole or feminine. But what if you don’t share these concerns? What if you don’t think reconstruction is right for you?

Perhaps you want to …

Like Mother (in Law), Like Daughter (in Law)

When I was facing a bilateral mastectomy, I had a wonderful role model — my mother-in-law, Reggie, who lived without breasts (and without reconstruction) for over 50 years. Reggie was a striking woman with dark wavy hair and flawless skin. She wore loose, flowing apparel, often accented by colorful scarves. The loose clothes were necessitated by severe lymphedema that developed in one arm after surgery …

Living a Breast-Free Life

When I first met my mother-in-law, in 1972, she had recently recovered from her second mastectomy. She was only 46 at the time. She’d had her prior mastectomy at age 31. Reconstruction wasn’t an option back then. I remember feeling sorry for her, but also marveling at her positive attitude. She looked great — she wore breast forms and, had I not known about her …