Sex Matters: Dealing With Sexual Predictability and Boredom

By on March 4th, 2015 Categories: Sex Matters

We have had a few columns about sexual desire and some of the problems that may lead to the changes in sexual interest. Sexual boredom is another very common problem for many couples. Predictability in the bedroom breeds dullness, and for many couples it is important to add some novelty into your relationship.

Lack of sexual energy leads to boredom and the feeling of being disconnected. It’s not uncommon to hear about the 7-year itch or mid-life crisis when sexual boredom infiltrates a marriage and relationship. Trying new things with your partner can help the sex hormones get surging again. Sometimes it’s as simple as changing the time of the day you make love – night owls can consider trying early-bird sex. Morning may be a wonderful time to connect with your partner since hormones may be at their peak, fatigue is at its lowest, and privacy concerns may be minimal with children sleeping!

Sexual exploration with your partner can spice up a monotonous sex life. Remember that there are many erogenous zones on the body besides the breasts and vagina. Touch and stimulation of the inner thighs, the nape of the neck, the ears, and the area behind the knees can be very pleasurable. Some women who’ve been diagnosed with breast cancer may feel new sensations at the area of their scars. This is a normal process, and you should not feel guilty or ashamed by any new pleasurable sensations.

Consider trying a new sexual position or reading a sexy love story or The Joy of Sex together for some new ideas. Ask your partner if he or she would be interested in trying sex toys or props in the bedroom. Self-stimulators, sexual accessories, or enhancers can help put some pizzazz back in your sex life. Acting out a sexual fantasy with your partner can help break down barriers and lead to a revival of sexual excitement.

It’s normal and understandable that sex may sometimes become boring and dry with the same partner, but successful relationships and intimacy take work to succeed. A marriage, relationship, or intimate partnership needs attention to flourish and grow! Trying new things can keep your sex life alive, vibrant, and crisp.

Have you and your partner struggled to keep things fresh in the bedroom? Let us know if something worked for you!

Michael L. Krychman, M.D.C.M., is the executive director of the Southern California Center for Sexual Health and Survivorship Medicine in Newport Beach, California. He is the former co-director of the Sexual Medicine and Rehabilitation Program at Memorial Sloan-Kettering Cancer. Dr. Krychman is also an American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors and Therapists (AASECT) certified sexual counselor. He is an associate clinical professor at the University of California, Irvine, Division of Gynecological Oncology, and the medical director of Ann’s Clinic, a high-risk program for breast and ovarian cancer survivors. His special interests include menopausal health, hormone therapy, sexual pain disorders, loss of libido, and chronic medical illness and its impact on female sexual function as well as breast cancer sexuality. Dr. Krychman is also a member of the Breastcancer.org Professional Advisory Board.

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