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Topic: My Fellow Deletees and The Cyberbullied Sisters

Forum: I've Donated to Breastcancer.org in honor of.... — Thank you for your donation! Here is a forum to share with others who you're honoring with your donation.

Posted on: Mar 3, 2011 04:56PM

1Athena1 wrote:

My donation is a pittance as donations go, but I hope it's a start.

Melissa, our moderator, informs us that making much needed reforms to BCOs automatic moderation features will cost the usual - time and money. Can't help with the time, but maybe a brass farthing here and there will come in handy.

May this fund help to create a place of safety and transparency for women and men who come here because of a grave illness and want to laugh and cry together about any topic under the sun in addition to cancer. May it be used to set up any such programming language, technology and personnel as might be needed to ensure that rules are clear, well understood and respected, that tolerance is shown and that self-policing features like the "Report this Post" buttom are employed wisely and not in the furtherance of abuse, bigotry, hatred and cyberbullying.

This forum belongs to all of us and it is what we make of it. Hopefully, we can help Melissa and others to create a system that is lightfooted but stealthy and simple but effective.

Anyone diagnosed with cancer should learn to have a healthy disrespect for statistics. Statistics are maths. It's the science which still eludes us. Dx 3/2009, IDC, 3cm, Stage IIB, Grade 3, 3/8 nodes, mets, ER+/PR+, HER2-
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Mar 3, 2011 05:14PM otter wrote:

Hear, hear!  (What Athena said.)

Dx 2008, IDC, Stage IA, Grade 2, 0/3 nodes, ER+/PR-, HER2-
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Mar 3, 2011 05:26PM - edited Mar 5, 2011 10:57AM by Medigal

This Post was deleted by Medigal.
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Mar 3, 2011 05:39PM otter wrote:

Medigal, I decided to follow Athena's lead and cough up some cash as a pay-it-forward gesture.  She, of all people, has felt the stings of the deleters.  In the post I never made this afternoon, I was going to say those barbs were analogous to the picadillos (or banderillias) in a bullfight.  But, if Athena thinks it's worth the investment and the risk, I'm game.  Nobody else has to follow.

I'll pay-it-forward, yes.  But tomorrow I am also going to pay some back.  One of my May '08 chemo sisters died last month, and her memorial service is tomorrow.  I can't make it to the service; so, in addition to the "Healing Garden" she and her family favored, I plan to toss a few more dollars to BCO.  I never would have met Dana and my other May '08 sisters if it had not been for these discussion boards.

As angry as I get about the other stuff -- the childishness, and the bullying -- I still have a fondness for these discussion boards and this site, because of what I've gained from them over the past 3 years.  I will walk away some day, but not today. 

otter

Dx 2008, IDC, Stage IA, Grade 2, 0/3 nodes, ER+/PR-, HER2-
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Mar 3, 2011 05:58PM crazy4carrots wrote:

I'll make another donation too. I'd also like to add that this is about the only site I go to that doesn't have paid adverts. This idea was broached by the Moderators a year or so ago, and I'm afraid most people who responded to the suggestion, responded negatively.
But we need to be realistic, folks. BCO can't rely on the whims of its "members" to throw a little money its way. If we really want this site to continue functioning, and in the very best way possible, it needs to have some steady income.
Don't yell at me if you disagree with me about some discreet ads, please! Just consider what this site means to you, and what it takes to keep it going.
Thanks all!
Linda

Like Otter, I've made many treasured friends here. They know who they are, so consider my donation in their honour!

The demagogue preaches doctrine he knows to be untrue to men he knows to be idiots. Dx 1/10/2008, ILC, 1cm, Stage I, Grade 3, 0/4 nodes, ER+/PR-, HER2-
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Mar 3, 2011 06:03PM pickle wrote:

Count me in!

So glad that everyone who was deleted is back on line.

Cheers

Beth

Dx
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Mar 3, 2011 06:08PM Wabbit wrote:

I don't suppose there is any way we can start a fund and just hire a geek squad for them for a week or so to get these program changes made? 

Dx 3/2006, IDC, 3cm, Stage II, Grade 2, 0/4 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-
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Mar 3, 2011 06:14PM Lowrider54 wrote:

1Athena1, my fellow loving the B cups friend....I could not agree more!  And Otter...the friends we have here - I would be lost without these boards - really lost.  No one gets it like my fellow sisters. 

I can be very strong in my opinions too - but generally, I don't get rattled enough to 'Report a Post' but rationally try to work it out. 

I purchase the BCO stuff and will make this a part of my now referred to as 'The Rebel Walk in the Komen 3 Day'. 

Melissa is not the only moderator but she does field pretty much the majority of the PM's.  God Bless her - she sure must get a passle of 'on the rag' type rantings. 

I was not around for the ads - but I would not object to a few discreet and bc appropriate ads - such as external prothestics, mascetomy clothing, hospice care, LE sleeves, wig shops, specialty scarves, port accessories - things we actually use, we are a prime source for that type of marketing and a very 'captive' audience which could mean good money for very little ad space - and for newbies, it would be a great thing and keep it minimal so that the money taken in is just what BCO needs to keep moving forward.  I think we would have to allow a few freebies like where to recycle your external prothesis or LE sleeves or wigs. 

Just my thoughts...LowRider

Smile...it will make people wonder what you are up to...Initial dx 04/99 - CMF; 9/2009 bone mets Arimidex; 6/2010 Faslodex/Xgeva; 8/2011; abdominal wall invaded, ER/PR flipped to TN, Abraxane/Avastin//Xgeva 09/02/2011; 11/2011Xeloda/Avastin/Xgeva. Dx 9/16/2009, Stage IV, 5/25 nodes, mets, ER-/PR-, HER2-
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Mar 3, 2011 07:20PM crazy4carrots wrote:

Great ideas, Lowrider!

Rabbit, on the ball with another good idea, as usual!

Pickle, so GLAD to see you back with us!  We Canucks can't use the receipt for our taxes, but so what!

The demagogue preaches doctrine he knows to be untrue to men he knows to be idiots. Dx 1/10/2008, ILC, 1cm, Stage I, Grade 3, 0/4 nodes, ER+/PR-, HER2-
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Mar 3, 2011 07:46PM otter wrote:

lindasa, those of us in the U.S. can't use a charitable donation as a tax deduction either, unless we itemize our deductions (on "Schedule A").  There's no point itemizing deductions if the total dollar value is less than the "standard deduction" would be.  (Can you tell I'm still working on our taxes?)

You're right, though -- so what!

otter

Dx 2008, IDC, Stage IA, Grade 2, 0/3 nodes, ER+/PR-, HER2-
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Mar 3, 2011 08:04PM Maire67 wrote:

Not bullied but  I left because there is another site that took my posts and used them as their own.     BUT.....I will donate in honor of all the sisters I met here  especially those who are no longer here.  I hope that this site will be here to help others like it helped me. It was the humor and the support that made all the difference in my life.  

Dx 6/2005, ILC, Right, 5cm, Stage IIIB, metastasized to bone, 1/9 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2+ Hormonal Therapy Aromasin (exemestane), Faslodex (fulvestrant), Femara (letrozole) Surgery Lymph node removal; Mastectomy Chemotherapy AC + T (Taxol) Targeted Therapy Herceptin (trastuzumab)
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Mar 3, 2011 11:19PM - edited Mar 3, 2011 11:20PM by Shrek4

As a web developer who also has quie a few websites out on the market, I can tell you approximately how much a website like BCO incurs in monthly costs. For this high number of members it has to have a private server, and depending on the hosting provider, it could be anywhere from $200 to $400 a month. Anything above that would be a ripoff. The software platform used is of a type that doesn't use too many resources in terms of server, mostly it would be the space taken by all the forums themselves and the members profiles, as well as the bandwidth.

As for hiring people to do the necessary changes - that wouldnt' be THAT bad. Very easy to find someone on Elance to do them for a very affordable price.

A few advertisements, as long as they are targeted for what we need, would be acceptable. Heck, even a Google AdSense module or two - from my experience, that only and it would cover the costs, and the ads are targeted on the keywords (words most frequently found in the forum), so things that we probably would find of interest. Also, when setting the Adsense module, lots of things can be tweaked so it would only bring ads related to what we are interested in.

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Mar 4, 2011 08:43AM BarbaraA wrote:

Count me in. Doing my donation this morning. I agree that targeted ads would help a lot to defray the costs. I vote go for it!

Sometimes you're the bug and sometimes you're the windshield. Dx 4/30/2010, IDC, 1cm, Stage IB, Grade 2, 1/4 nodes, ER+/PR-, HER2- Hormonal Therapy 11/24/2014 Femara (letrozole) Dx 11/25/2014, IDC, Stage IV, metastasized to bone, ER+
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Mar 4, 2011 10:36AM River_Rat wrote:

I think targeted ads would be fine.  I would also be willing to donate if I saw something being done but after reading old threads and seeing how long this has been going on I'm not comfortable donating money until I hear of a plan.

Fear is the highest fence. ~Dudley Nichols
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Mar 4, 2011 10:54AM Moderators wrote:

Thank you very, very much to those of you who have donated to BCO in the name of improving the community!! That was extremely generous, and gracious of you!! 

Warmest and sincerest thanks from our BCO Team. 

To send a Private Message to the Mods: community.breastcancer.org/mem...
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Mar 4, 2011 05:43PM 1Athena1 wrote:

bump!

I told myself I wouldn't post on this thread again unless I was able to give a second donation....which I am afraid is not the case at the moment... However, in recognition of deleter Fridays and unmoderated weekends, it is a good idea to write a bit of my usual tripe to get atop the active topics list.

Actually, I was hoping our dedicated funding will help us to avoid having to put up with advertising.

So let's hear it for a moderation fund to see if the problems that people say have been going on for years can finally be addressed with everyone's help. I totally understand the skepticism - I am a natural skeptic, but on the other hand, if we don't give it a try and see whether we can contribute something towards the effort, we shouldn't complain.

Anyone have any ideas about how we would call this fund? I can think of all sorts of law-enforcement-related terms or terms going from the silly to the soppy. The Justice For All Fund, or the BCO in the Sunshine Fund (as in "government in the sunshine")...or simply, the BCO Community Forum Moderation Fund. Bleh - not feeling imaginative today.

Anyone diagnosed with cancer should learn to have a healthy disrespect for statistics. Statistics are maths. It's the science which still eludes us. Dx 3/2009, IDC, 3cm, Stage IIB, Grade 3, 3/8 nodes, mets, ER+/PR+, HER2-
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Mar 4, 2011 05:57PM ADK wrote:

Ah, you got me.  I donated to help make this a safe place for all of us.  Thank you Athena for starting this.

Anne
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Mar 4, 2011 10:12PM - edited Mar 4, 2011 10:14PM by palaminoridesagain

This Post was deleted by palaminoridesagain.
Imagine the freedom of riding a Palamino bareback. Freedom of spirt and heart.
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Mar 4, 2011 10:14PM palaminoridesagain wrote:

Just saying hello I deleted that post myself.

Nicki 

Imagine the freedom of riding a Palamino bareback. Freedom of spirt and heart.
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Mar 4, 2011 10:22PM Enjoyful wrote:

Bump.  And a check's in the mail, so to speak.

BENGHAZI! Dx 9/2004, IDC, 1cm, Stage IIIA, Grade 2, 4/14 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Dx 8/28/2009, IDC, 2cm, Stage IV, Grade 2, ER+/PR-, HER2-
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Mar 4, 2011 11:07PM Blah2 wrote:

Well at least one site will be safe

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Mar 4, 2011 11:12PM - edited Mar 5, 2011 12:35PM by bluedahlia

This Post was deleted by bluedahlia.
But some people without brains do an awful lot of talking... don't they? - Scarecrow, Wizard of Oz.
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Mar 4, 2011 11:19PM Blah2 wrote:

Dearest innocent Blue

Safe from you and your cronies  DUH !!!!

You all are putting on quite a show today- i love humor

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Mar 4, 2011 11:21PM - edited Mar 5, 2011 02:48PM by Enjoyful

This Post was deleted by Enjoyful.
BENGHAZI! Dx 9/2004, IDC, 1cm, Stage IIIA, Grade 2, 4/14 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Dx 8/28/2009, IDC, 2cm, Stage IV, Grade 2, ER+/PR-, HER2-
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Mar 4, 2011 11:23PM - edited Mar 5, 2011 05:21PM by 1Athena1

This Post was deleted by 1Athena1.
Anyone diagnosed with cancer should learn to have a healthy disrespect for statistics. Statistics are maths. It's the science which still eludes us. Dx 3/2009, IDC, 3cm, Stage IIB, Grade 3, 3/8 nodes, mets, ER+/PR+, HER2-
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Mar 4, 2011 11:23PM - edited Mar 5, 2011 12:35PM by bluedahlia

This Post was deleted by bluedahlia.
But some people without brains do an awful lot of talking... don't they? - Scarecrow, Wizard of Oz.
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Mar 4, 2011 11:24PM - edited Mar 5, 2011 12:35PM by bluedahlia

This Post was deleted by bluedahlia.
But some people without brains do an awful lot of talking... don't they? - Scarecrow, Wizard of Oz.
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Mar 4, 2011 11:27PM - edited Mar 5, 2011 12:36PM by bluedahlia

This Post was deleted by bluedahlia.
But some people without brains do an awful lot of talking... don't they? - Scarecrow, Wizard of Oz.
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Mar 4, 2011 11:32PM Blah2 wrote:

YES I BELIEVE IT MAY WELL BE.  You dam right it is serious, hypo
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Mar 4, 2011 11:36PM - edited Mar 5, 2011 12:36PM by bluedahlia

This Post was deleted by bluedahlia.
But some people without brains do an awful lot of talking... don't they? - Scarecrow, Wizard of Oz.
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Mar 5, 2011 09:09AM - edited Mar 5, 2011 02:48PM by Enjoyful

This Post was deleted by Enjoyful.
BENGHAZI! Dx 9/2004, IDC, 1cm, Stage IIIA, Grade 2, 4/14 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Dx 8/28/2009, IDC, 2cm, Stage IV, Grade 2, ER+/PR-, HER2-

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