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Apr 7, 2011 09:10AM
thatgirl...your co-worker is an idiot. If she believes what she said then she should be one of the 'most women who get cancer' and lets see how 'no big deal' it is for her. Not that I would wish this crap on anybody - and I am not by any means implying that she should experience it.
But, should she, as the statistics are now seeming to indicate, be one of the '1 in 6' women that will get breast cancer - I just might have to tell her 'its no big deal' and see how she feels. Of course, then I would have to turn around and offer her any support I could to help her through her 'no big deal' ordeal.
As far as encountering this - yes, in a way...I am stage iv - my neighbor and once very good friend kept telling me at every appointment that I was going to be OK. Finally, on my way to the 'big reveal' on 09/16/09 - we stood out in the middle of the street and I just let it go - "I do not have the flu, a cold, or an infection that antibiotics can treat and I will all better in a few weeks - I have terminal cancer in my spine and it is going to kill me. I will be treating in some form or another for the rest of my now shortened life - but never, ever again am I going to be OK." She just stood there and cried and I told it wasn't going to happen tomorrow and new drugs could help me stay alive longer and if it stays in my bones, there are things on the medical horizon that could possible make bone mets a chronic condition rather than a death sentence. Our relationship has never been the same - for months, she couldn't even talk to me - afraid of losing a friend. Then we talked about that and things were ok for a bit - I don't know if its seeing me unable to walk without the cane or what but she hasn't made any effort to talk to me other than a Hi when we each get home from work - she is friendly when I call but she doesn't visit or call anymore and we live directly across the street from each other. Some people hide themselves away so you won't see their fear of losing you or say stupid things like your co-worker. I said she was an idiot - perhaps just totally uneducated in the ways of breast cancer would be better.
And you have every reason to be depressed and crying - I did it the initial dx and then again for 3 straight months after the mets dx - it took meds to pull me out of the nose dive after finding I had mets - I am treating and finally stable - working really hard to get to meet Reggie (meaning the cancer is regressing) but I can live with stable (NO progression) for a long time too!
Hugs to you....LowRider
PS...Lena...I love a good rant...I am very anti pink - I am a Teal Wheels Warrior for Stage IV BC - that will all make sense by the end of the month - I am walking (actually 'scootering') in the Komen 3 day dressed in Teal for Stage IV - long story.
Smile...it will make people wonder what you are up to...Initial dx 04/99 - CMF; 9/2009 bone mets Arimidex; 6/2010 Faslodex/Xgeva; 8/2011; abdominal wall invaded, ER/PR flipped to TN, Abraxane/Avastin//Xgeva 09/02/2011; 11/2011Xeloda/Avastin/Xgeva.
9/16/2009, Stage IV, 5/25 nodes, mets, ER-/PR-, HER2-