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Topic: INSOMNIACS place to talk in the wee hours

Forum: Emotional Crises: Anxiety, Depression & Other Emotional Effects —

Meet and support others who are affected by these issues around breast cancer fears, diagnosis and treatment.

Posted on: Apr 8, 2011 12:45PM - edited Apr 2, 2018 03:30PM by sas-schatzi

sas-schatzi wrote:

Welcome. This is called the insomnia thread, but we post 24/7/365. We call ourselves Owlettes :)

No nastiness, bullying, stalking or such allowed. I would like to keep the kind fabric of this thread intact.

Discussion will flow where it will as all threads do. This will be a happy place. I hope with lots of laughing. Talk of things, needs, rants as your mood or thoughts take you. Each person here has a history of helping others. Threads develop pseudo family groups. Fancy way to say we become like family. This family will have all the best a family has to offer, but none of the negatives.

May help with sleeplessness: circadian rhythm, melatonin--pub med evidence based research. http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/21476953 Agometaline is approved for use in Europe/Australia for insomnia. It is NOT approved in the USA http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Agomelatine

How to naturally reset circadian rhythm with food : http://www.wisebread.com/how-to-naturally-reset-your-sleep-cycle-overnight

Article connecting insomnia and depression. It's a chicken egg thing-..............-insomnia <-----> depression.

http://blog.aarp.org/2013/12/02/is-curing-insomnia-key-to-curing-depression/?intcmp=AE-ENDART1-BL-REL

Second Sleep---The NORMAL for humans before the light bulb http://slumberwise.com/science/your-ancestors-didnt-sleep-like-you/

Autonomic dysfunction: http://www.holistichelp.net/dysautonomia-autonomic-nervous-system-dysfunction.html

BCO Member Notself's three day plan: 1. Get doc script for sleep aid, at lowest dose. 2. Set sleep time. 3. Take pill 1/2 hr to 1 hr before set time. 4. Do this for three days; 5. Should sleep on fourth night.. 6. Repeat steps 1-5 if sleeplessness has lasted more than one night.

Don'ts that are known to cause sleeplessness: Alcohol, coffee, chocolate, looking at computer screens before bedtime, sex and exersize(variable by person); Do's that promote sleep: Sex and exersize(variable by person) , book reading, foot massage, aromatherapy, sleepy teas. After dinner walk(variable).

Link to Warm & Fuzzy's (W&F) thread: Warm & fuzzy owls, goats, kitties, dogs, birds ETC. PICS &LINKS

For all our dear Sisters .........

Image result for prayer for protection friend

Life's journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out shouting "holy crap....what a ride".
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Feb 7, 2018 05:05PM Bluebird-DE wrote:


on his white blankies


getting a kiss from Hubby. Jeronimo says, "You can have half my bean."

He was a very very long skunkie and just massive but not really fat. Here he is all scrunched up into almost a ball. Jeronimo and DD Naomi. About 20 yrs ago.

"Every mistake I have made has proven to be invaluable information for someone. Namely, me." Me. Diane Dx 7/15/2011, IDC, Right, 2cm, Stage IV, metastasized to liver/lungs/other, Grade 3, 3/11 nodes, mets, ER+/PR+, HER2- Chemotherapy 4/4/2017 Xeloda (capecitabine) Targeted Therapy Ibrance (palbociclib) Hormonal Therapy Faslodex (fulvestrant) Hormonal Therapy Arimidex (anastrozole) Hormonal Therapy Femara (letrozole) Radiation Therapy External: Lymph nodes Surgery Lumpectomy: Right; Lymph node removal: Left
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Feb 7, 2018 06:56PM - edited Feb 7, 2018 07:08PM by sas-schatzi

OMD owlies yakitty yak. Scanned, but way behind

First thought Blue, you could write two children books. One about the skunks, and one about Danny Boy. Huge money(or at least what we think is huge money). in children's books. If you don't have an illustrator, contact Magdeline(Mags). She is an incredible visual artist.

Der new DIL went through shutterbug(??) to create a book. You don't even need a publisher. Not like the old days.

Jay kinda on a break..........I'm doing it more and more............very good. But to your question about nursing. I started as a young one at 18 as a nurses aide with the intent to see if nursing was what I wanted to do. My joke was always " Watching it from the bottom up" (double entendre). The primary thing I learned as an aide was to be flexible. I floated with joy versus complaint. Gave me exposure to different patient populations. Served me well the rest of my life. That concept allowed me to learn many things. MY joke at the end of my career was I could take someone from home(homecare), ambulance(nurse paramedic), ER, Special procedures/diagnostics, OR(scrub, circle, teach), Recovery, med surg floor. Then home again. My no go areas were hemodialsysis and NICU. Floated enough to ICU that they wouldn't cringe when they saw me coming. The best was running a Paramedic program and Disaster stuff. Those two changed the world. That's fun

Life's journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out shouting "holy crap....what a ride".
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Feb 7, 2018 07:30PM TaRenee wrote:

I love the skunk pictures. I did wildlife rehab here for a few years. Mostly bunnies and squirrels. An occasional deer (which I had to transfer to a federal licensed rehabbed) which was amazing. And one night this little sweet girl showed up in a box on the porch so very sweet There ended up being 4 of them. We had to take them to Virginia because NC doesn’t allow us to rehab them.

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Feb 8, 2018 03:34AM feelingfeline wrote:

HeartHeartHeart

Oh My! All those beautiful skunks! Gorgeousness overload!!

Dx 1/20/2012, IDC, 5cm, Stage IIIA, 3/22 nodes, ER+/PR-, HER2- Surgery 2/7/2012 Lymph node removal: Left, Underarm/Axillary; Mastectomy: Left Chemotherapy 4/2/2012 Cytoxan (cyclophosphamide), Taxotere (docetaxel) Hormonal Therapy 7/30/2012 Tamoxifen pills (Nolvadex, Apo-Tamox, Tamofen, Tamone) Radiation Therapy 8/5/2012 Breast, Lymph nodes Hormonal Therapy 7/31/2015 Aromasin (exemestane)
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Feb 10, 2018 04:30AM Bluebird-DE wrote:

TaRenee - our first was to be a rehab. We had some bunnies. Didn't get too involved with rehab at our own place once we got the skunks which were all adoptions after their families decided they did not want to deal w the oddities and wild habits like pooing in corners. Well, you just gotta put litter boxes in said corners and keep a rug in front for them to scoot their butts on bcz that is how they wipe. No licking, not skunks.

Felingfeline - I wish I had more pics of them, I have a lot but never enough.

This one has a caption. Pooh and Jeronimo HATED Sage when we got him. We could have the older two in yard and they stayed at house w us. Sage had to be in the pen-over. Caption is, "Let's dig him out and KILL him!"

Sas - I did publish as skunk book, all about Pooh and Jeronimo. Skunk Medicine : There's a A Skunk In the House! and Other Tail-raising Stories. Once we got Lacey and Blossom, the girl skunks later I thought I would publish that book too. And probably, given enough time, I will. I also wanted to write a book about Bear Medicine - which would be stories about the Newfoundland dogs. Right now I am outlining a book I am calling in working title End of Days. Tongue in cheek, this journey, the good and bad and ugly of it.

The deposition videotaping went well yesterday. I am done w that hurdle. Was overprepped and that is how I did so well. Very few questions really. I was calm, intelligent, fragile, pathetic, funny, pleasant, endearing. And all taped. My attorney questioned me, I knew the role by heart and did perfect. Then Driver 2's attorney asked me 2 questions, I could tell he thought the whole mess I was in was bull, he really showed he felt for me. Later he told my attorney that he will push my ins co attorney to get this settled asap. So I know I read him right. Then my ins co attorney asked about 10 questions on pain and accident injuries, not much else. I think he feels bad but it is not in his control what corporate does w his work, he is in effect the middle man. And so they ar videotaping me. I started out by not letting my attorney get his objections in, he had objections and cases #s after each ? the other attorneys asked. I would start answering before he started objecting. Then I knew I had to just wait. So I started to make these grimace faces at the camera guy when I would interrupt or almost interrupt. I was not thinking of the jury seeing it later. Also I would listen to the ins co ? then turn and give the long Newfoundland face while waiting for my attorney to do his objections. Looked like this. I got giggles today realizing it.

Not even thinking this was on tape for a jury to see. And a few times the ins co attorney asked a ? and then my attorney objected and I would know my answer but by the time my attorney finished the objection list I didn't know the question anymore and had to turn back to the ins co attorney and politely asked him to repeat the question. I nearly giggled on tape doing that. Because he would, very nice, then my attorney would do the objection list again while I am sitting there thinking, no the answer is no, sir. no, sir.

Our attorney signed us off on accepting the settlement from driver #1. So they are out of the case now unless called to trial. But I don't see a trial coming. I think this will be settled soon since our ins co only risks us being awarded a lot more from a jury than they will offer. And we do not want and cannot really wait for a trial.

My attorney asked me 1st to explain why the videotaped deposition was being done. I said I was told over 2 mo ago to contact hospice. And now I am in palliative care with Dunes Hospice for stage 4 breast cancer. That was my first statement. Nothing else about the cancer was mentioned.

So that is it. Hurdle over. Next I have the med exam by pain specialist that my ins co has requested. But they may just cancel that and settle. Especially if they realize I am going in there and telling their doc that it is ironic I am there with stage 4 bc and liver lesions very large and the accident pain from 3 yrs ago causes me more pain on any given day. Hand, fingers, wrist, feeling of hot water pouring up arm toward elbow, fingers getting stuck after typing for half an hour, all of that. So we will see.

Fed tax return deposited in our acct today - we filed on 2nd of Feb. One week and done.

Got to have dinner w my sis and bro last night, Hubby too. Long day.

And before the deposition Hubby and I were two hours early to it because we had to cross time zone and have very little brains, even between us. We don't know why we cannot do this, but oh well. So we went to the funeral home to get me signed up for cremation and give them my info and partially filled out death certificate and obituary. I told the woman who will be my rep, Tammy, that Hubby would be in next and get arrangements made. And the story about Hubby not wanting cremated, the pull him into the meadow story, my sister figuring out how to do it and set the meadow ablaze. You dod know we ar kidding, right? Tammy laughed so hard. I said and now you too have the story. I forgot to tell her that my sister lovingly calls Hubby, "The Bastard" everytime he does something nice for me and I complain.

And I found my urn! I am going to purchase this and recycle it, using scattering bags each time. Me, sister, Hubby all want cremated. Here it is. Ceramic. Viridian Sky Urn. Hubby offered that I could buy it early and have to look at. I said no, but now I think yes. Why shouldn't I enjoy this exquisite jewel on my coffee table? I may not use it for a few decades either, we just don't know these things.

Have to get back to bed. Was in for 2 1/2 hrs and no sleep. Try try again.


"Every mistake I have made has proven to be invaluable information for someone. Namely, me." Me. Diane Dx 7/15/2011, IDC, Right, 2cm, Stage IV, metastasized to liver/lungs/other, Grade 3, 3/11 nodes, mets, ER+/PR+, HER2- Chemotherapy 4/4/2017 Xeloda (capecitabine) Targeted Therapy Ibrance (palbociclib) Hormonal Therapy Faslodex (fulvestrant) Hormonal Therapy Arimidex (anastrozole) Hormonal Therapy Femara (letrozole) Radiation Therapy External: Lymph nodes Surgery Lumpectomy: Right; Lymph node removal: Left
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Feb 10, 2018 07:23PM sas-schatzi wrote:

BLue, you want to be cremated. I get it, it's future problem, I have it too.

My Greg is in a box in the bedroom. We never discussed how to end it . I did . He didn't. We discussed the funeral and Mass intensely.

Cremation- intensely. I don't want some anthropologist digging my bones up several hundred years from now and making any suppositions about my life. Ashes to Ashes. Cremation is good with the Catholic church, not burying them not so much. It should be consecrated ground. But Dear Greg is still next to me. I know life is strange. I started in Michigan, then to Ohio, then to Florida..........Still living, no assumption on the end

But I have told dear son Stephen he is responsible for the ashes. Which means he must carry the containers for his life time. I want us all to end up in the same place. He only once was to Downeyville (grands), I do not know the name where my parents are(it's beautiful). I want to be where Steve is.

What we laughed about this, is this could take a long time, b/c if he feels the same way, and then his kids feel the same way etc. the carrying of ashes could be a long time

Life's journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out shouting "holy crap....what a ride".
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Feb 10, 2018 08:09PM sas-schatzi wrote:

Blue, I've read your post three times now. Each reading I find more. Homey. It pretty much sucks, You have people taking care of you that are wonderful and those that are making life miserable. Does that about sum it up?

Well just in case that life cuts us short on speaking, Thanks Blue for coming into our lives. You are seriously special......Love & Hugs & Prayers

Life's journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out shouting "holy crap....what a ride".
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Feb 10, 2018 08:16PM Bluebird-DE wrote:

Hi all - I was looking for a poem / prose I had posted on a thread I started some years ago. Wanted to copy/paste instead of retyping bcz it is for the ceremony page of photos and prose for guests at my funeral. Found it. While searching, I found this old story I told about when my DD rolled her vehicle. Had forgot. I wonder how I feel about this now. Because I get lost and angry and sad and depressed then I'm all better. Here it is.

From "The spiritual journey into breast cancer" posted 2013 I think.

"A few weeks ago, our daughter was driving home from work and rolled her car. I share her story in part because the reference to 'acceptance is the key to all life's problems today,' quoted from the Big Book for 12 step programs (OA, AA, NA, EA, Al-Anon, ACOA (adult children of alcoholics). It is in fact a theory for life, to accept, not an inherent 12-step program survival mechanism. We all need this acceptance. Figuring out how to accept and what, that is harder than acceptance, at least for me.

My daughter was raised on slogans like this, this too shall pass... easy does it.... the world does not revolve around... let go and let God.... first things first.... you will intuitively know.....

When she realized she had lost control of her car, she did not accept. When she realized it was going to go off the road, she let go of the wheel, went to her inner self and relaxed to flow with it. She said all these saying went through her mind, as so often they do for her. Let go... let go.... accept....

Can you imagine accepting as you are going into a three-roll accident down an embankment?

We have spoken of this at great length since that morning. Last conversation, we compared life issues. Me, breast cancer with lymph node involvement when I was trying to do something else with my life. Her and her dog in a car rolling off the road as the sun rose to a new day when she was heading home from work to sleep.

We decided that IF we could know the outcome of rolling in the car, that all would be well afterwards, we would roll in the car. It did for her, as both daughter and dog came out without a scratch, her thighs bruised from coming out from under the steering wheel to bounce around and land on the ceiling of the car. She now has a new car, better car, lesser car expenses each month. She found out who her friends are and who loves her most. She realizes what is important in her life, moreso than before. She was always good at that though. She is a strong woman too, one I admire.

How is breast cancer like rolling a car? If you have breast cancer, you know.

I decided I would rather roll in the car, with a guarantee first, of course. I would ratehr roll than to face breast cancer every morning I open my eyes. Kind of like bungee jumping, parachuting. Only I am not the adventurous type. I simply go along with the flow. If someone (angel, Creator, spirit guide) whispered in my ear as the car started to roll that it was going to be all right, I would be grateful. But there are never guarantees that the roll would go as planned.

So here we are.

Easy does it. This too shall pass."

Adding, somehow and one way or another it shall pass.

"Every mistake I have made has proven to be invaluable information for someone. Namely, me." Me. Diane Dx 7/15/2011, IDC, Right, 2cm, Stage IV, metastasized to liver/lungs/other, Grade 3, 3/11 nodes, mets, ER+/PR+, HER2- Chemotherapy 4/4/2017 Xeloda (capecitabine) Targeted Therapy Ibrance (palbociclib) Hormonal Therapy Faslodex (fulvestrant) Hormonal Therapy Arimidex (anastrozole) Hormonal Therapy Femara (letrozole) Radiation Therapy External: Lymph nodes Surgery Lumpectomy: Right; Lymph node removal: Left
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Feb 10, 2018 08:29PM Bluebird-DE wrote:

Sas - the carrying of ashes. Reminds me of the carrying of the sacred fire ashes and embers from one gathering to the next to the next. Spreading a bit to each place, connecting the land and people.

Sas - I do want to be cremated and always have. Hubby does too. But he said he could hold my ashes until he dies then mix us and have them spread. I immediately thought of my mom's ashes and what my step dad did and I thought no, I want out of that box asap, within reason. But I suppose he could use a tablespoon to mix w his. Like the sacred fire ashes.

Sas - the head on collision that robbed us of time to go and do when I felt my best - that is the hardest to accept. And then my ins co not settling and dragging this out for 3 years on the 14th. Other than that, no one making my life miserable just now, I have left those all behind and am surrounded by support and a lot of understanding people. It is nice leaving the stressors out of life when possible. And having Steam Room to lay it all out when it comes at me. Those too are support people.

You think I am special?! I think you are super dooper special. Lady, I hope you have a really clear idea of all you gift to those in your life on BCO and around you.

A BCO person posted this on the Spiritual journey into breast cancer thread. I love it.

This is you - Sas. This is you. The lonely bubble that got it......

"A myriad bubbles were floating on the surface of a stream.
'What are you?' I cried to them as they drifted by.
'I am a bubble, of course' nearly a myriad bubbles answered,
and there was surprise and indignation in their voices as they passed.
But, here and there, a lonely bubble answered,
'We are this stream', and there was neither surprise nor indignation in their voices,
but just a quiet certitude."

Wei Wu Wei - from Ask the Awakened

https://community.breastcancer.org/forum/38/topics...


"Every mistake I have made has proven to be invaluable information for someone. Namely, me." Me. Diane Dx 7/15/2011, IDC, Right, 2cm, Stage IV, metastasized to liver/lungs/other, Grade 3, 3/11 nodes, mets, ER+/PR+, HER2- Chemotherapy 4/4/2017 Xeloda (capecitabine) Targeted Therapy Ibrance (palbociclib) Hormonal Therapy Faslodex (fulvestrant) Hormonal Therapy Arimidex (anastrozole) Hormonal Therapy Femara (letrozole) Radiation Therapy External: Lymph nodes Surgery Lumpectomy: Right; Lymph node removal: Left
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Feb 10, 2018 09:05PM - edited Feb 10, 2018 09:12PM by sas-schatzi

Blue, Dear Greg had a roll over too. Witnesses said 3-5. When he walked out of ER that night I gave him a hand clap. Shirt torn. Belt injuries. This was a man that I had to fight with about wearing a belt. To the point that I said " Stop the car, if you won't wear a belt, we won't be in the car".

Your comment " I simply go along with the flow. If someone (angel, Creator, spirit guide) whispered in my ear as the car started to roll that it was going to be all right, I would be grateful. But there are never guarantees that the roll would go as planned." That's what we get in life. One day at a time. We survive on day at aa time with usual stuff. Nothing like cancer. Each day is so unusual versus the last.

Then cancer, then a different focus. It totally sucks........... every day as it unwinds or winds so tight we loose or breath. Eye matey, what was... isn't, what may be.......... isn't known, what is .........................

Life's journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out shouting "holy crap....what a ride".
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Feb 10, 2018 09:32PM sas-schatzi wrote:

Blue, no clue, my history would make a new doc think I was a total train wreck. NO clue why I'm not. Actually, feel guilt, Makes no sense to me if I listed everything wrong, why I'm okay at this point. So, I flip back to a purpose.

As a teenager I tried suicide, when it wasn't accomplished my thought "either get it right or straighten up".

Well, I straightened up, but that doesn't mean life was easy. OH Vey complicated ever since.

Then both of us having cancer at once...........very bad.....very sad.

Dealing with Greg dieing sucked.....dealing with me living sucked........but at the time there was no knowing that was the outcome ...I was dealing with both of us dieing............I just hoped it would be him beforeme ...because I could take care of him. He would have no clue about me or him. OMG I have never said that before-----gotta go

Life's journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out shouting "holy crap....what a ride".
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Feb 10, 2018 09:41PM Wren44 wrote:

SAS, I worked with a Buddhist woman from Thailand. She said that every home has an altar with a statue of Buddha, flowers, water, and food. The altar has an urn of ashes of deceased family members. When a person dies, their ashes are divided among the households. When a person marries and leaves home, some of the family ashes go with them. I thought it sounded like a lovely tradition.

I also read a funny story of a man who ended up with the family members fine china and keepsakes. He ended up putting ashes in some of the containers. A soup tureen for an aunt who loved to eat. An antique humidor for an uncle who smoked a pipe, etc.

Lumpectomy and re-excision followed by mastectomy of right breast. Five years of anastrasole completed.
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Feb 10, 2018 09:50PM sas-schatzi wrote:

Wren thank you,

Life's journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out shouting "holy crap....what a ride".
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Feb 11, 2018 11:27AM CeliaC wrote:

Bluebird - Your urn is beautiful, blue and lustrous. I like to think it is a reflection of your soul. Love your anecdotes, stories and poems - carry on!

sas - Grateful for your presence on this thread and others. Thank you!

Dx 12/2/2016, DCIS/IDC, Left, <1cm, Stage IA, Grade 1, 0/1 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 12/21/2016 Lumpectomy: Left; Lymph node removal: Sentinel Radiation Therapy 2/21/2017 Whole-breast: Breast Hormonal Therapy 4/5/2017 Arimidex (anastrozole)
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Feb 11, 2018 03:31PM Loveroflife wrote:

My grace is sufficient for you, My strength is made perfect in weakness. 2 Cor 12:9. Dx 8/25/2014, DCIS, 3cm, Stage 0, Grade 3, 0/3 nodes, ER-/PR- Surgery 9/15/2014 Mastectomy: Left Dx 10/13/2014, IDC, <1cm, Stage IA, 0/3 nodes, ER-/PR-, HER2+ Surgery 1/11/2015 Reconstruction (left): Tissue expander placement Surgery 5/13/2015 Reconstruction (left): Saline implant
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Feb 11, 2018 04:46PM - edited Feb 11, 2018 05:50PM by Loveroflife

Blue, I love the Newfoundland face. Hah! Thanks for the giggles. I clicked on the first pandora link that you posted and was amazed that you like the same music. I was thinking wow what a coincidence, then I realized it was my own favorites. You tricked me. I did like the flute music you had on the second link. Helps me to connect with creations. Beautiful! Whenever I listen to music I am grateful for my hearing and the feelings the music brought out which words cannot completely explain. Beautiful urn. Let me guess....blue is your favorite color.

Ms. Sas, you attempted suicide when you were a teenager? Same here. I was close, but was too chicken. Glad neither one of us succeeded.

My grace is sufficient for you, My strength is made perfect in weakness. 2 Cor 12:9. Dx 8/25/2014, DCIS, 3cm, Stage 0, Grade 3, 0/3 nodes, ER-/PR- Surgery 9/15/2014 Mastectomy: Left Dx 10/13/2014, IDC, <1cm, Stage IA, 0/3 nodes, ER-/PR-, HER2+ Surgery 1/11/2015 Reconstruction (left): Tissue expander placement Surgery 5/13/2015 Reconstruction (left): Saline implant
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Feb 11, 2018 06:34PM Bluebird-DE wrote:

Yes, LoverofLife - blue is my favourite colour. And neutrals, I love neutrals. If I have a red it is just a tiny bit like a few flowers in red with neutrals all around.

Sas and Lover I am glad you are still here. We need you.

Sas - that is how I feel about Hubby - I am upset about this more than anything, I will likely not be here to take care of him when he has needs like I have now. Maybe that is why I am trying to marry him off asap after I go, if I go first. In my obit I wrote I joked .... "She married ______ from _______, Pennsylvania just twenty-two days after they met in 1980. "Not the stupidest thing I have done. This marriage has proven to be a comforting journey to the end. I want him to be all right when I am gone. So I spread the rumour he is a millionaire. He has also almost learned to cook though he will probably revert to eggs and hot dogs. The couple never lived where there were not mature trees. They enjoyed auctions, flea markets, movies, Newfoundland dogs and pet skunks. Perfect match. Their daughter, Naomi Faon, was born in 1984. Much to her father's dismay, Naomi was raised on the adage that well-behaved women seldom make history. They both realized someday Naomi would fly. Fly she did, to marry musician Gavin _____ in the U.K. where both are in the care-giving field. Diane rests well, knowing her daughter is very happy."

There's more before and after.

WREN - That is so cool. My stepdad wanted her ashes to all be buried w him. She did not. So they were not spread. And he kept her urn beside his bed. Need I say more except perhaps to qualify this with he did not die for another 14 years or so. I seethe sometimes, this would do it. IF we had known what we found out after he died we would have confiscated her ashes and spread them sooner. In the end, some went in his grave but it was not my DS's idea. Some to her picnic table by the garden in the far back where she spent a lot of time alone night and day under the old hickory tree and some scattered at her family's plots in the country cemetery.

Last night I slept through and was very happy about that. Do any of us really want to be insomniacs? I dunno. But I miss you guys when I don't wake up or stop in.

Dinner is done, oh yes, appetite!


"Every mistake I have made has proven to be invaluable information for someone. Namely, me." Me. Diane Dx 7/15/2011, IDC, Right, 2cm, Stage IV, metastasized to liver/lungs/other, Grade 3, 3/11 nodes, mets, ER+/PR+, HER2- Chemotherapy 4/4/2017 Xeloda (capecitabine) Targeted Therapy Ibrance (palbociclib) Hormonal Therapy Faslodex (fulvestrant) Hormonal Therapy Arimidex (anastrozole) Hormonal Therapy Femara (letrozole) Radiation Therapy External: Lymph nodes Surgery Lumpectomy: Right; Lymph node removal: Left
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Feb 11, 2018 09:27PM queenmomcat wrote:

Wren: I like the idea of putting portions of the ashes where the survivors considered suitable--soup tureen, humidor, over the railing as the ferry crossed some significant or memorable point....it's all appropriate.

Dx 5/27/2015, DCIS, Left, 1cm, Stage 0, Grade 2, ER+/PR+, HER2- (IHC) Surgery 7/6/2015 Lumpectomy: Left Radiation Therapy 8/31/2015 Whole-breast: Breast Hormonal Therapy 11/1/2015 Tamoxifen pills (Nolvadex, Apo-Tamox, Tamofen, Tamone) Surgery 12/9/2015 Reconstruction (left)
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Feb 12, 2018 01:28AM - edited Feb 12, 2018 01:43AM by JunieB

Hello to all,

Blue - That is a very pretty urn. I love the Newfie face too. Is Danny Boy a cuddler? That soleful expression on his face makes me want to just rub his ears and snuggle with him. Sorry you have such pain from the auto accident. How do you keep a positive/hopeful attitude when it gets real bad?

Loverly - Despite my feeling yucky that night, I was very glad to be able to spend the time with you, Shep & Sassy. I do feel bad that I wasn't a ball of fun to be with though. I surely hope that we will be able to try again sometime in the future.

Shep - Ellie is a cutie and the clip is adorable. I hope you're doing well.

I have been really struggling with back pain since Christmas . I've had worsening pain in my sacrum, right hip & lumbar spine. Sitting, bending, getting into/out of bed, everything has been difficult. There is weakness in my right leg as well. Both my bone scan in December and CT in January showed that my cancer is stable. But when I got up on Friday morning I couldn't stand on my right leg without it buckling and the pain was severe. So I had another trip to the ER. They did an MRI of my lumbar spine and found a fracture in L3. But despite my description of my symptoms they didn't scan my sacrum. So now I am on a steroid to calm down the spinal nerve pain, plus back to wearing my back brace. My MO sent a referral to the neurosurgeon back on February 1st, but no response yet. I am hoping that now with the fracture the neurosurgeon will be able to get me an appt. soon.

Kirby's trainer came and picked him up and is boarding him until I can function better. I had a huge pile of laundry that I had been putting off because of the pain I have been in, but thought I could get it done yesterday because of the back brace, steroid and pain meds. But thankfully a friend called yesterday morning and offered to come pick up my laundry and take it back to her house to do it for me. While I am very thankful for the help, it is hard to think of someone else dealing with my dirty laundry. Fortunately I didn't let my embarrassment let me decline her offer. She came and took the majority and I did 4 loads myself. If my friend hadn't helped me I NEVER would have gotten it all done, because by the time I was done with the 4 loads I had left, I was in SO much pain I was near tears and wanted to scream. When pain gets to that level it really messes with your head and makes me start to wonder if going through all this treatment is worth it.

Thankfully, today was a new day and I stayed in and rested and took my meds. I sure hope the neuro. can do something about the degeneration of my spine so I can get some QOL back, and Kirby can come back home.

Kathindc - You asked me a couple weeks ago about how Kirby is doing and I responded, but when I tried to submit my post it disappeared and I couldn't sit any longer to type it again. Anyway, Kirby is doing great. When he came home on Jan. 28th his trainer took us to a local park and she worked with us (more me) to get me on track so I could stay consistent with his training. A day or so after that I even texted the trainer to ask if she was sure the dog she brought back to me was really my Kirbster. It is as if he grew up and became a full adult in 5 weeks. Well at least when he has his service vest and training collar on. He has been excellent on the bus, in the doctors office, restaurant, etc. Several bus drivers have even commented on what a difference they see in him since this last round of training. However, once we get home and the vest & collar come off, there is my little puppy again, ready to run and jump and play. I really love that little boy.

Sas - I am sorry I had to cut off our conversation yesterday, but I was hurting so bad I couldn't think straight or follow the conversation any longer.

I know there are other posts I want to respond to, but my night meds are kicking in and I need to go to bed. Goodnight to all. I hope you all have a great week.

Surgery 7/28/1991 Lymph node removal: Underarm/Axillary; Mastectomy: Right; Reconstruction (right): Tissue expander placement Dx 7/30/1991, IDC, Right, 1cm, Stage IIA, 0/25 nodes, ER+/PR+ Dx 8/28/2014, 2cm, Stage IV, metastasized to bone, ER+/PR+, HER2- Radiation Therapy 9/22/2014 External: Bone Hormonal Therapy 10/12/2014 Arimidex (anastrozole), Faslodex (fulvestrant) Targeted Therapy Ibrance (palbociclib)
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Feb 12, 2018 12:12PM Wren44 wrote:

Junie, Sorry to hear you're in so much pain. Do take it easy and try to do way less. Once you get to that point in pain, it's very hard to get rid of. I know you know this, so I won't preach. Kirby sounds wonderful. Behaving when he's at work with the vest and playing when he's not - just what you want. I hope they're able to do something about your pain right away. Gentle hugs.

Lumpectomy and re-excision followed by mastectomy of right breast. Five years of anastrasole completed.
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Feb 13, 2018 01:45AM Bluebird-DE wrote:

Junie, the pain sounds unbearable. Hoping it can be made manageable. Kirby had to be happy to be back with you.

Danny Boy wants to be a lap dog. Very cuddly and huggy.

Micmel, after the flu passed how long did it take for you to return to "normal" and get your strength back. Hope not too long, been wondering about you.

"Every mistake I have made has proven to be invaluable information for someone. Namely, me." Me. Diane Dx 7/15/2011, IDC, Right, 2cm, Stage IV, metastasized to liver/lungs/other, Grade 3, 3/11 nodes, mets, ER+/PR+, HER2- Chemotherapy 4/4/2017 Xeloda (capecitabine) Targeted Therapy Ibrance (palbociclib) Hormonal Therapy Faslodex (fulvestrant) Hormonal Therapy Arimidex (anastrozole) Hormonal Therapy Femara (letrozole) Radiation Therapy External: Lymph nodes Surgery Lumpectomy: Right; Lymph node removal: Left
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Feb 13, 2018 01:17PM kathindc wrote:

Junie, hope you are getting some much needed relief. Sounds like Kirby knows when it is work time and when it is play time. A lot to learn.

Shep, who is your pup doing? Hope training is going well

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Feb 13, 2018 01:21PM - edited Feb 13, 2018 01:39PM by sas-schatzi

OWLIES, been out hunting for the cure guy

CeliaC Tanks that was a very sweet thing to say :)

Dammit Junie if it isn't one thing , it's another. Hope the steroids work. Sounds like Kirby made great strides in the last 5 weeks. Yay. Love it that he gets the vest and no vest difference .No more bus drivers threatening you.. Don't worry about the phone call. They are supposed to be fun, not painful.

Blue, I totally love the urn. It's so elegant. Hope things re getting settled with the accident. I so dislike stuff like that. I have to tabulate all the millions of receipts for the remodel for the taxes. All those itty bitty pieces of paper. I thought of keeping a ledger, alas, I didn't. Blue, you are so right on this years flu. The vaccine is only 10% effective this year. Basically, they missed the mark. This is not good. It's hitting adolescents very bad. Nasty.

Wenchi woohoo foobs and comfort. Great combo. Er one foob.

Jay, wrong or right, I have decided not to get the flu shot anymore. B/c of what they re putting in it. Statiscally more seniors die from the flu shot than the flu. I'm a senior. There is some not so good info coming out about the flu shot. I don't want to influence anyone. I do suggest googling it and reading several sources.

How the flu shot is made. I read the process many years ago. This is what I remember.

Each year in say Jan or Feb, there is meeting in Switzerland or thereabouts. All these doc types different specialties look at data from the recent past and the present. Then they choose three viruses to make the vaccine. Then it's made in factories over the next months with the goal to be ready by Sept.

Then the watch. If the get a 60% hit, meaning they "guessed right. If they get anywhere near the 60%, it's a successful year. Earlier this year they were getting a 30% response. Then as the months have gone on the vaccine is only getting a 10% hit. Meaning they didn't guess right.

I already forget what the predominate strain is, H2N3 I think. It's a stinker.


Life's journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out shouting "holy crap....what a ride".
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Feb 13, 2018 01:51PM sas-schatzi wrote:

Beatmom, so, glad Metavivor won the 10K. I saw your post only a few hours after your post and it said it was closed. BUT YAY!

Jay, a few months ago we did a look at melatonin some very good studies page back and see if you can find it. There was an exceptional meta-analysis. It's not only good for sleep, it's showing that they're about a half dozen or so cancers that it's helpful with.

If you find the page, I'll repost on Pain and other things, and put it in the topic box here.

Are you still trying to get off Effexor?
Your questioner: tamox and forgetfulness. Yes, but I will go and find something definitive. OH I just saw Feline's post.

Feline I'll look at that one too. It'd be a blessing for many if it's not got anything in it that could cause trouble. But WTH we take the SERM's and AI's nd how much more poisonous are they?

Life's journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out shouting "holy crap....what a ride".
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Feb 13, 2018 02:18PM - edited Feb 13, 2018 03:06PM by sas-schatzi

Bluebird, there was a gal here years ago.....Tada the momory came back. nd you signed it Essa. We were together on Fuzzy's Romp Room in 2012-2013.

Life's journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out shouting "holy crap....what a ride".
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Feb 13, 2018 02:39PM - edited Feb 13, 2018 02:59PM by sas-schatzi

Feline and Jay et all, this is from the Nordica web site.

https://www.newnordic.ca/products/clear-brain?variant=29257488593

Clear Brain combines walnut extract with extracts from ginkgo, green tea and a complex of B vitamins that all work to support brain health and its cognitive and memory performance.

MEDICINAL INGREDIENTSPER TABLETPomegranate extract (Fruit) (Punica granatum L.)75 mgGreen tea extract (Leaf) (Camellia Sinensis L.) 30:175 mgGinkgo (Leaf) (Ginkgo biloba L.) 50:1
24% Flavonoid glycosides
6% Terpene lactones 60 mgFrench maritime pine extract (Pinus pinaster L.)40 mgWalnut extract (Seed) (Juglan regia L.) 5:125 mgBlack pepper extract (Fruit) (Piper nigrum L. )3 mg NATURALLY SOURCED INGREDIENTS

WALNUT
(Juglans regia L.)
Walnut extract has neuroprotective properties. It is an excellent source of α linolenic acid (omega-3), antioxidants (flavonoids, phenolic acid) vitamin E and selenium, which help reduce inflammation and oxidative stress in the ageing brain.

GINKGO
(Ginkgo biloba L.)
Several studies demonstrated the beneficial effect of Ginkgo on people with dementia and cognitive decline. Ginkgo extract, provides antioxidant and anti-inflammatory flavonoids and terpene lactones and is known to help improve peripheral blood circulation to support transport of oxygen and nutrients to cells.


GREEN TEA
(Camellia sinensis L.)
Clear Brain uses the popular ingredient l-theanine, from tea leaves, to enhance alpha brain waves. This creates a state of relaxation, concentration and alertness, similar to what is experienced when meditating or while relaxing deeply.

CAUTIONS & WARNINGS: Consult a health care practitioner prior to use if you have a liver disorder or develop symptoms of liver trouble (such as abdominal pain, dark urine or jaundice), if you have an iron deficiency, are pregnant or breastfeeding, are taking medications for diabetes, high blood pressure, or seizures, or any other medications or natural health products. Do not use if you are taking products that affect blood coagulation (e.g. blood thinners, clotting factor replacements, acetylsalicylic acid, ibuprofen, fish oils, vitamin E) as this may increase the risk of spontaneous bleeding. Do not take if you have allergies to walnuts or tree nuts.

Life's journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out shouting "holy crap....what a ride".
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Feb 13, 2018 02:50PM - edited Feb 23, 2018 12:00PM by sas-schatzi

Clear Brain has oodles of good stuff. Pomegrante is the gods gift to humans as is green tea. Walnuts are too. One thing I didn't know about walnuts is the high selenium. With my thyroid cancer search, I was to take Selenium 200 mg a dy and Zinc 50 mg day. I found the cost prohibitive. Must start walnuts.

Life's journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out shouting "holy crap....what a ride".
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Feb 13, 2018 02:55PM - edited Feb 13, 2018 03:19PM by sas-schatzi

A funny story about Ginkgo or at least I think it's funny. Ginkgo has had a reputation for a very long time of helping the brain. I was purchasing some vitamins. I had Co-Q10 in the group. A guy behind me said what is that good for? I forgot, but then said if I'd been taking Ginkgo, I would of remembered. We laughed and laughed. My husband and the cashier looked at us like we were crazy.

FYI:in the previous post it mentioned about anticoagulants and bleeding etc-----ginkgo is the culprit in that list. Ginkgo is one of those things that should be stopped before surgery

Life's journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out shouting "holy crap....what a ride".
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Feb 13, 2018 03:33PM sas-schatzi wrote:

I've never cut a pomegrante---I had no clue. I saw this the other day on fb. She made it look so easy

https://www.bing.com/videos/search?q=video+on+how+to+cut+a+pomegranate&docid=607987446489744528&mid=0C9679AB7E4D54414B920C9679AB7E4D54414B92&view=detail&FORM=VIREHT

This example makes it look like a centerpiece.

https://www.bing.com/videos/search?q=video+on+how+to+cut+a+pomegranate&&view=detail&mid=B0D7A8C1C0D39DBB2969B0D7A8C1C0D39DBB2969&rvsmid=0C9679AB7E4D54414B920C9679AB7E4D54414B92&FORM=VDQVAP


Life's journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out shouting "holy crap....what a ride".
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Feb 13, 2018 03:37PM sas-schatzi wrote:

What's cool about the product that Feline found is that it not only supports brain health is it supports the liver and thyroid too. A 3 for 1 product


Life's journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out shouting "holy crap....what a ride".

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