Topic: The Hermit Club

Forum: Mental Health: Because Cancer Doesn't Just Affect Your Breasts — Meet and support others who are affected by these issues around anxiety, depression & other emotional effects.

Posted on: Jun 28, 2012 10:15PM

Posted on: Jun 28, 2012 10:15PM

Sissydi wrote:

Hey all.....just got done reading a great thread under this topic about feeling like a hermit through this process, was wondering who else out there feels like cocooning themselves right now? I'm mid treatment with my chemo, and have basically isolated myself somewhat because I feel that all my energy is expended just trying to survive the day, and take care of hubby and my pooch. I'm basically an introvert and homebody anyway, and I know that it's sometimes hard to find others like ourselves to share with. I have dealt lately with people saying, oh, you really need to get out, or, you really need to call someone up, and constantly pushing me to socialize because they couldn't handle being at home so much.....I'm pretty content right now, and I'm trying not to let others make me feel guilty! Anyhow, hermits and introverts with bc, unite!

Dx 12/23/2011, IDC, 1cm, Stage IIIA, Grade 3, 5/21 nodes, ER+/PR-, HER2+
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Jun 28, 2012 10:38PM camillegal wrote:

But now since I am retired of course I don't leave my house everyday I worked forever and now I stay home alot and love it. I'd rather use the computer for e-mails--since I'm just learning, love TV, the newspaper and cuddling with my cat. And I too hear u should do this or that and I think why if I don't feel like it. I've had a busy life with kids on my own, 2 jobs sometimes and I am tired of people telling me what they think of things about cancer when they/ve never experienced it and now I want to choose my busy. It's true I should walk more, but it's difficult since I barely feel my feet anymore. I have Le and sometimes it's very uncomfortable to me. I don't wish this on anyone---but don't judge me --that's how I feel, right or wrong I don't know but it is what it is. LOL

Dx 2007, Stage IV, 24/38 nodes, HER2+
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Jun 29, 2012 02:43AM Beckers wrote:

I can relate. I admit I hit the "ignore" button on phone calls. It takes effort not to isolate. I am just overwhelmed I think. Sad thing is, I'm afraid people will eventually stop trying. I have been off work since April recovering from lumpectomies and now gearing up for bilat mastectomy. This site is helping me realize that this is not an easy process. Sometimes I feel self conscious that friends and family don't understand.

Diagnosed with bilateral or synchronous breast cancer Dx 3/2012, DCIS, <1cm, Stage 0, Grade 2, ER+/PR+ Dx 3/2012, IDC, 1cm, Stage IB, Grade 2, 0/2 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Hormonal Therapy 10/13/2012
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Jun 29, 2012 06:46AM Sissydi wrote:

I was a happy homebody before this, so I guess I dont mind being alone so much, although I do like having friends! Beckers, I think you hit the nail on the head when you said it takes effort! Effort I don't seem to have right now :(

Camillegal, I want to choose my busy too! So many other things are out of control in life, at least that's something I can control, lol!

Dx 12/23/2011, IDC, 1cm, Stage IIIA, Grade 3, 5/21 nodes, ER+/PR-, HER2+
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Jun 30, 2012 12:52PM kltb04 wrote:

I am in this club!  I have always been able to amuse myself and not been very social - all the years as a SAHM I only had a couple friends and a group of online friends/moms.   But I don't mind being alone.  I can read, watch TV, putter around the house, etc... I worked part time in retail for about four years until my diagnosis but the people I met on the job, I would consider acquantances more than real friends.  I do still keep up with a couple of them.

My closest friends are probably my mom and my SIL.  My SIL made the comment the other day that she didn't know who I had been talking to for the last few weeks but it hadn't been her - and I just wanted to tell her that sometimes it is hard to talk to people who are "normal".  It is hard to hear about people's ordinary problems and issues when I am concerned with this damn disease all the time.  And it makes me jealous.  I am jealous of people making plans, worrying about petty things, etc...

But anyway, the main downside I find to spending too much time alone (or just with my kids/DH, I am never alone in the summer) is that I worry more and obsess more.  It does help distract from my own head to talk to other people about ordinary things so I am trying to do more of that.  Even if it is just email/FB, whatever.   I really hate to talk on the phone.  I prefer to email/text/write. :)

Dx 2/17/2012, IDC, 3cm, Stage IIB, Grade 3, 1/4 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2+ Surgery 2/27/2012 Lymph node removal: Right, Sentinel Chemotherapy 3/19/2012 AC Targeted Therapy 6/11/2012 Herceptin (trastuzumab) Chemotherapy 6/11/2012 Taxotere (docetaxel) Surgery 10/1/2012 Mastectomy: Right; Prophylactic mastectomy: Left; Reconstruction (left): Tissue expander placement; Reconstruction (right): Tissue expander placement Radiation Therapy 11/13/2012 Breast, Lymph nodes Hormonal Therapy 11/18/2012
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Jun 30, 2012 01:01PM Sissydi wrote:

Hi kt......I hate the phone too. I get tired of talking about cancer, and right now there's nothing else really going on in my life right now! I feel like such a bore!

I had worked as a nurse for a while, after my kiddos were in high school. They are in college now, and 2 1/2 hours away. My hubby works a wonky schedule, different every week; our schedules never matched up, so I decided to stay home, and I'm glad I did! And then this diagnoses, right when we were going to travel more.......(sigh).

Dx 12/23/2011, IDC, 1cm, Stage IIIA, Grade 3, 5/21 nodes, ER+/PR-, HER2+
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Jun 30, 2012 01:02PM Sissydi wrote:

Well, I like talking cancer with you guys ;) (actually, I wish none of us had to talk about it)

Dx 12/23/2011, IDC, 1cm, Stage IIIA, Grade 3, 5/21 nodes, ER+/PR-, HER2+
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Jun 30, 2012 01:07PM kltb04 wrote:

I think that is part of it - that it is all we have to talk about - drs appts, labs, chemo, so it is hard to have other conversations!

 I think I am going to see Magic Mike with SIL next week - so that will give me something else to think about, lol!

Dx 2/17/2012, IDC, 3cm, Stage IIB, Grade 3, 1/4 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2+ Surgery 2/27/2012 Lymph node removal: Right, Sentinel Chemotherapy 3/19/2012 AC Targeted Therapy 6/11/2012 Herceptin (trastuzumab) Chemotherapy 6/11/2012 Taxotere (docetaxel) Surgery 10/1/2012 Mastectomy: Right; Prophylactic mastectomy: Left; Reconstruction (left): Tissue expander placement; Reconstruction (right): Tissue expander placement Radiation Therapy 11/13/2012 Breast, Lymph nodes Hormonal Therapy 11/18/2012
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Jun 30, 2012 01:58PM Sissydi wrote:

Great! And I want to hear about how the movie was!

Dx 12/23/2011, IDC, 1cm, Stage IIIA, Grade 3, 5/21 nodes, ER+/PR-, HER2+
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Jun 30, 2012 02:04PM Beckers wrote:

Hi girls. I can relate. I almost wasn't sure why I'm being like this as far as wanting to isolate. Maybe it's just part of the process. Breast cancer, even when caught earlier, is such a lengthy and complicated ordeal. I want my normal life back, but the further away from it I get, I wonder how easy it will be to get back into it. Hmmm.

Diagnosed with bilateral or synchronous breast cancer Dx 3/2012, DCIS, <1cm, Stage 0, Grade 2, ER+/PR+ Dx 3/2012, IDC, 1cm, Stage IB, Grade 2, 0/2 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Hormonal Therapy 10/13/2012
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Jun 30, 2012 06:27PM camillegal wrote:

I really enjoy coming here, but I have so many questions--because I never asked any--LOL so now I have an interest why I don;t feel like I used to cuz I thought I would. And I understand an feel all the stories I read so relating all of this I get.

Dx 2007, Stage IV, 24/38 nodes, HER2+

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