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Jul 18, 2015 09:00AM
Thank you for being here, all of you! Okay, I started today listening to by DS and DH yelling at each other as they left to replace spare tire, find wheel rim, get new tire, etc. after DS '"bumped" a curb last night. Once the house was empty, I let loose. For the first time in many, many months, I screamed, I cried, I wept, and repeated. I feel empty. It was good.
An acquaintance asked me yesterday if I was all done with treatment. I asked her if she really wanted to know. She hesitated, but said yes, so I let loose. I have been "done with treatment" - love that lie, since we are NEVER done if we are alive - since May 2015. Dealing with post chemo, post rads, se's from Arimedex, etc. Severe nosebleeds started in May. After 2 ER visits, and 4 ENT appointments, and many hours at home dealing with this (2 1/2 hours per nosebleed) At 3 month check up, MO says nose bleeds side effect of estrogen fleeing my body is weaker blood vessels, dry membranes, etc. and he showed me a better way of stopping the bleeds. Thank you.
Continued joint pain, and neuropathy in feet, toes, fingers and hands. Keeps me up at night, keeps me from doing the things I enjoy, you know the drill. I joined LIVESTRONG program at the YMCA - I highly recommend this for non-gym types like me - and was working at trusting my body, again. On Monday numbness in my feet led to my tripping on carpeted indoor track. I FELL hard, and broke my right wrist. (scaphoid bone.) Embarrassment, pain, ER and doctor visits. Pain killers great until severe (post surgery and anti-nausea med type) constipation and all that that entails.
Phone call from newest doctor yesterday. Bone density scans troubling. Osteoporosis (low) in spine. Wants to start me on Fosamax and talk about Arimisen.
DS off to college in month and I cant do a damn thing with my hand out of commission.
1 year anniversary of finding my lump on 8/1 - DH birthday; he was at his dad's bedside after colon cancer surgery.
And my beloved Abby Airedale died of cancer in February, a day before my last chemo.
And no, I am really not grateful right now. Except for you all, and this site! (I'll probably never see that acquaintance again.)
8/11/2014, IDC, 3cm, Stage IIB, Grade 1, 1/2 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-
9/8/2014 Lumpectomy: Left; Lymph node removal: Left, Sentinel
10/6/2014 AC + T (Taxol)
3/9/2015 Whole-breast: Breast, Lymph nodes
4/30/2015 Arimidex (anastrozole)