Topic: STEAM ROOM FOR ANGER

Forum: Mental Health: Because Cancer Doesn't Just Affect Your Breasts — Meet and support others who are affected by these issues around anxiety, depression & other emotional effects.

Posted on: Jul 16, 2015 05:21AM - edited Aug 1, 2017 06:46PM by sas-schatzi

Posted on: Jul 16, 2015 05:21AM - edited Aug 1, 2017 06:46PM by sas-schatzi

sas-schatzi wrote:

This thread is meant to be for RANTS and RANTING. Then Rant again. We need a place to simply get rid of the anger. Write it here. Unleash it all. Get it out. This isn't meant for the Stupid comments(great thread). This is for the gut wrenching, tell them off anger.

IMPORTANT: When done ranting don't necessarily stick around. Toxic. Drop the rant and find a better thread.

Only rules: Please, follow them as the Mods will shut it down in a heartbeat( waving Mods)

1. Be careful to not mention docs, nurses, hospitals by name. Defamation and all that tedious legal stuff

2. If it's caused by someone on BCO, just don't mention their name. I think the exception will be if someone is stalking you, blow their anonymity wide open. A stalker doesn't deserve politeness.

3. If you think the rant is about you, let it go, they're no names. Don't take it personal. This is the steam room.

4. If they're is a fight, don't expect the Mods to moderate, it was your choice to come here.

5. After writing a rant, do nothing more, re-read at a future time. Decide if it's important enough for you to cut and paste the rant to whomever caused you the anger. It's a choice. Sometimes it needs to be done, but remember they're can be fall out.

6. ######## pound those keys, SCREAM(caps), J*&R$WSDF&(swear)

7. Religion and politics discussion should go to those topical threads. IF their is something that impacts cancer, it belongs here.

I will revise topic box as needed-sassy

For puking and the color works pukeewogh

Life's journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out shouting "holy crap....what a ride".
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May 13, 2022 09:57AM tinkerbell65 wrote:

I haven't been around for a while. I want everyone to know I appreciate you.

The past year has SUCKED for me.

I feel like my body is failing me. I am still recovering from breast cancer surgery in august 2021, then radiation in October, medication side effects from exemestane. Before surgery, there was some abnormality on an EKG, then a cardiac ultrasound. I was cleared for the surgery, but told to follow up with "my cardiologist" after surgery. SO - I had to get a referral to a cardiologist - then a stress test, showing an enlarged right ventricle, which led to a cardiac MRI, confirming there was a problem, which would need surgery. An angiogram showed no blockages, the first bit of good news. I have no heart disease, my blood pressure is normal.

SO - I have an atrial septal defect, (along with some other words about anomalous pulmonary vein return) and I am schedule to have open heart surgery next week. this is something I was born with, which was never diagnosed, and I haven't really had symptoms. But then I think back to the number of times I've been to doctors with vague feelings of being short of breath.

This has hit me hard. I feel so much like a PATIENT now - my days off work have been taken up with cancer doctors, heart tests, cardio doctors, that I don't have time for much else. My life has already become smaller because of cancer, and being afraid to get Covid, now I am a heart patient and I wonder what the future will bring.

My energy is zapped - is it the cancer? the cancer meds? the underlying heart problem? Or just being 66 years old? OR maybe it's because I rarely get enough sleep.

I am sadder than I've ever been before, but I hide it well. Because I have to.

i just had to get some of this off my chest. Oh yeah, my CHEST! HA! my lumpectomy included a "reduction and lift" so I have incisions which still hurt, one scar which is thickened and ropey, and now I will have a big scar to complement the other scars. From my collarbone to my waist, one big battleground.

Thanks for taking time to read my rant.

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May 13, 2022 10:59AM denny10 wrote:

tinkerbell, I am surprised you haven't used CAPITALS when recalling your horrid year. I am 66 too, I often compare my health status with friends to see whether it's age or cancer or meds , that is whittling away my physical abilities, many are developing their own health issues and are slowing down. I certainly don't function well without adequate sleep. Be proud that you are still working and if you feel angry or sad come back here and rant some more . I hope your surgery goes smoothly next week and you recover quickly.

12/2021 Stage IV TN Dx 2007, Left, Stage IIB, HER2- Dx 12/2013, Right, Stage IV, metastasized to liver/lungs/other, ER+ Hormonal Therapy Faslodex (fulvestrant), Femara (letrozole), Tamoxifen pills (Nolvadex, Apo-Tamox, Tamofen, Tamone)
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May 13, 2022 01:59PM sunshine99 wrote:

tinkerbell, that totally sucks! You've been through way too much!

(((hugs)))

Carol


my-sunny-side-up.com Cancer has progressed to my bones. I pray that it never enters my soul. Dx 11/2/2007, IDC, 3cm, Stage IIA, 0/3 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Dx 3/26/2020, ILC/IDC, Stage IV, metastasized to bone, ER+/PR-, HER2- Hormonal Therapy 4/22/2020 Arimidex (anastrozole) Radiation Therapy 5/5/2020 External Local Metastases 5/5/2020 Radiation therapy: Bone Radiation Therapy 5/12/2020 External Local Metastases 5/12/2020 Radiation therapy: Bone Targeted Therapy 6/10/2020 Ibrance (palbociclib)
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May 13, 2022 03:19PM alicebastable wrote:

Aw, Tinkerbell, that's awful. When I had a pre-op chest CT before my lumpectomy four years ago, it showed both kidney cancer and an aortic aneurysm. I was MAD!!! I didn't want to know that! I had a nephrectomy to remove the kidney cancer, and I've seen a cardio-thoracic surgeon - so far it's watch and wait. I don't know if I'd have your courage to get mine repaired. I'll figure it out when it's big enough. I think you're smart to get it taken care of now so you can start healing.

If you need some good ripe swear words, I have a huge supply and you're welcome to some. Not all, though.

Ignore treatment info (below) which is a BCO glitch. Do not enter personal information on this site since they grossly mishandled a data breach. Surgery 7/11/2018 Lumpectomy; Lumpectomy (Left); Lymph node removal Surgery 8/8/2018 Radiation Therapy 10/29/2018 Whole breast: Breast, Lymph nodes
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May 13, 2022 11:06PM rah2464 wrote:

Tinkerbell that stinks!! What a rotten development. Hope the surgery goes well.

Alice I might need to borrow some of those ripe swear words ha

Dx 5/23/2018, IDC, Left, 1cm, Stage IA, Grade 2, 0/4 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 6/26/2018 Mastectomy; Mastectomy (Left); Mastectomy (Right); Reconstruction (Left): Silicone implant; Reconstruction (Right): Silicone implant Hormonal Therapy 7/26/2018 Tamoxifen pills (Nolvadex, Apo-Tamox, Tamofen, Tamone)
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May 14, 2022 04:48AM bcincolorado wrote:

Aww tinkerbell. It is awful to have to go through this as well but also glad they found it as well since it might be something they can fix and be done. You hear about people all the time born with heart stuff that goes undiagnosed and then just keel over all of a sudden and everyone is shocked. We are all here to support you.



Dx 8/2009, IDC, Left, 5cm, Stage IIA, Grade 1, 0/2 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 1/1/2010 Mastectomy (Left): Nipple Sparing; Reconstruction (Left): Tissue Expander Surgery 1/6/2010 Lumpectomy; Lumpectomy (Left); Lymph node removal; Lymph node removal (Left) Hormonal Therapy 1/14/2010 Tamoxifen pills (Nolvadex, Apo-Tamox, Tamofen, Tamone) Hormonal Therapy 1/29/2016 Femara (letrozole) Hormonal Therapy 1/1/2020
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May 14, 2022 09:54AM kidi919 wrote:

Threetree, thank you for your good wishes. Covid is going around this area like crazy. Husband has it now. I am feeling better but u are right... I think its going to take quite awhile to feel back to normal.

Tinkerbell, Jeesh! Hoping all goes well with your surgery

Dx 9/17/2019, DCIS/IDC, Left, 1cm, Stage IA, Grade 3, 0/2 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Radiation Therapy 1/14/2020 Whole breast: Breast Hormonal Therapy 3/8/2020 Femara (letrozole)
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May 14, 2022 03:27PM seeq wrote:

Tinkerbell- What a terrible time you've been having! I can only pray that the heart surgery will resolve that issue, at least, and you will start to settle into a maintenance routine for the bc. Sending gentle cyberhugs your way.

De novo diagnosis with large/numerous liver mets. Breast lump identified one month later. Hormonal Therapy 7/3/2020 Arimidex (anastrozole) Targeted Therapy 7/10/2020 Verzenio
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May 15, 2022 10:52AM nopink2019 wrote:

exbrnxgrl - read your post on the alternative meds forum, but thought this was a more appropriate place for my post. Love your reference to being an outlier. You have so much experience and explain things so well. Congrats on your continued non-progression. I get a lot out of reading your posts. Keep talking to us.

Chemotherapy 8/23/2019 Taxotere (docetaxel) Chemotherapy 9/20/2019 Xeloda (capecitabine) Hormonal Therapy 11/13/2019 Faslodex (fulvestrant) Targeted Therapy 11/13/2019 Kisqali Hormonal Therapy 5/10/2021 Aromasin (exemestane) Targeted Therapy 5/10/2021 Afinitor (everolimus) Surgery Lumpectomy (Left); Lymph node removal (Left): Sentinel Chemotherapy AC + T (Taxotere) Radiation Therapy Whole breast: Left breast
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May 15, 2022 12:08PM exbrnxgrl wrote:

thank you nopink. As the years go by, I feel increasingly irrelevant here. Old school tx and, except for one life threatening complication, I’ve have an easy time compared to most. I even like my medical team, though my long time mo had the nerve to move back to her home country 😉. I did recently experience a terrible coverage snafu with Medicare blaming my providers and my providers blaming Medicare. It appears to be resolved but it hurts my head to think about it.

You know that I also feel helpless. My fondest wish is to figure out why I have done so well. Then I wouldn’t feel so helpless and irrelevant here. I should also say that I am struggling more emotionally now than I was at dx over 10 years ago. I just see a giant clock always ticking down. It looks just like the clock of the time dragon from the set of Wicked. I know many are thinking, Oh, shut up and be grateful, but on the spectrum of feelings experienced by mbc patients, I think my feelings and circumstances are as valid as any.

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