Topic: STEAM ROOM FOR ANGER

Forum: Mental Health: Because Cancer Doesn't Just Affect Your Breasts — Meet and support others who are affected by these issues around anxiety, depression, and other emotional effects.

Posted on: Jul 16, 2015 11:21AM - edited Aug 2, 2017 12:46AM by sas-schatzi

Posted on: Jul 16, 2015 11:21AM - edited Aug 2, 2017 12:46AM by sas-schatzi

sas-schatzi wrote:

This thread is meant to be for RANTS and RANTING. Then Rant again. We need a place to simply get rid of the anger. Write it here. Unleash it all. Get it out. This isn't meant for the Stupid comments(great thread). This is for the gut wrenching, tell them off anger.

IMPORTANT: When done ranting don't necessarily stick around. Toxic. Drop the rant and find a better thread.

Only rules: Please, follow them as the Mods will shut it down in a heartbeat( waving Mods)

1. Be careful to not mention docs, nurses, hospitals by name. Defamation and all that tedious legal stuff

2. If it's caused by someone on BCO, just don't mention their name. I think the exception will be if someone is stalking you, blow their anonymity wide open. A stalker doesn't deserve politeness.

3. If you think the rant is about you, let it go, they're no names. Don't take it personal. This is the steam room.

4. If they're is a fight, don't expect the Mods to moderate, it was your choice to come here.

5. After writing a rant, do nothing more, re-read at a future time. Decide if it's important enough for you to cut and paste the rant to whomever caused you the anger. It's a choice. Sometimes it needs to be done, but remember they're can be fall out.

6. ######## pound those keys, SCREAM(caps), J*&R$WSDF&(swear)

7. Religion and politics discussion should go to those topical threads. IF their is something that impacts cancer, it belongs here.

I will revise topic box as needed-sassy

For puking and the color works pukeewogh

Life's journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out shouting "holy crap....what a ride".
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Nov 23, 2022 08:53PM kidi919 wrote:

My sister in law passed away on 12/8/21. Her ashes have been residing alongside my mothers in my mother's bedroom (at my brothers). Her kids bring her to parties and camping in her box. Well, my Neice went to a physic and got a message from her Mom....she's not happy with the plain box and wanted one with yellow roses. (her favorite flower) Her kids have ordered one and she will be present at xmas in her new box. On the box are the words "settle down sparky" which she would say when anyone got too crazy acting. Her other favorite saying was "what the fuck". Her kids figures the other was more polite. Loved that girl. This really doesn't go under anger...other than I'm pissed she's gone. But it sure has affected my mental health. Happy Turkey Day folks

Dx 9/17/2019, DCIS/IDC, Left, 1cm, Stage IA, Grade 3, 0/2 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Radiation Therapy 1/15/2020 Whole breast: Breast Hormonal Therapy 3/8/2020 Femara (letrozole)
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Nov 24, 2022 01:00AM alicebastable wrote:

kidi919, I love that your late sister-in-law continues to be such an awesome person even though she's gone. My step-cousin kept her mother's ashes in her car trunk for a few years until her brothers would cooperate in deciding an appropriate final place. My cousin talked to her mother every day as they carpooled to work and back, but she drew the line at using the carpool lane.

Ignore treatment info (below) which is a BCO glitch. Do not enter personal information on this site since they grossly mishandled a data breach.
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Nov 24, 2022 09:49AM kidi919 wrote:

alicebastable, what a great story!

Dx 9/17/2019, DCIS/IDC, Left, 1cm, Stage IA, Grade 3, 0/2 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Radiation Therapy 1/15/2020 Whole breast: Breast Hormonal Therapy 3/8/2020 Femara (letrozole)
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Nov 24, 2022 12:07PM nopink2019 wrote:

Carpool lane, love it! If I took my Mom's ashes camping she would haunt me forever. Luckily she's buried next to my dad in a little town cemetery where she grew up.

2008: Stage 1 ER+/ PR-/ HER2- (lumpectomy, ACT, rads +7 yrs AI) 2019: Stage 4 (lungs & liver). Treatment, then progression - Kisqali & fluvestrant (18 mos), Aromasin & Afinitor (6 mos), Xeloda (6 mos). Started 6/2022 Eribulin. Since 2019: Lexapro for depression & Ritalin for fatigue
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Nov 25, 2022 06:57PM bcincolorado wrote:

Survived Thanksgiving with a few meltdowns and left the room and sat in my bedroom in the quiet for about 15 minutes. Too many people and too much noise and my mom who I love and is old kept nit picking things and we had worked hard to figure out how to fit people in and how things should go and it was not "good enough" to suit her. She would say she was doing something and then sit and talk to people and not do it so I ended up doing it. Tried to remind myself she is super old and to humor her but it was hard. Now us but now our son just asked us to watch the 2 little grands in the morning starting at 6:30 in the morning until early afternoon. Planned to work on putting away Thanksgiving and setting up Christmas but that won't happen now. They at least love grandma and grandpa and do not think we are boring yet like the older grands do. DH has a doc appointment out of town and has to travel 70 miles to get to it on Tuesday so who knows when it get set up? Not to mention we have to find time to finish Christmas shopping ordering and baking and everything and fit it all inbetween all the doctor appoitnments. Holidays are hard.

Dx 8/2009, IDC, Left, 5cm, Stage IIA, Grade 1, 0/2 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 1/1/2010 Mastectomy (Left): Nipple Sparing; Reconstruction (Left): Tissue Expander Surgery 1/1/2010 Mastectomy (Left): Nipple Sparing Surgery 1/7/2010 Lumpectomy; Lumpectomy (Left); Lymph node removal; Lymph node removal (Left) Hormonal Therapy 1/15/2010 Tamoxifen pills (Nolvadex, Apo-Tamox, Tamofen, Tamone) Hormonal Therapy 1/30/2016 Femara (letrozole) Hormonal Therapy Femara (letrozole), Tamoxifen pills (Nolvadex, Apo-Tamox, Tamofen, Tamone)
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Nov 26, 2022 12:04AM kidi919 wrote:

bcincolorado, holidays are hard! Lovely to see our grands even if they poop us out. Do you remember the poem Ann Landers use to post? It was about babies and dust go to sleep. Try let things go. It's more important to see the littles. Maybe cut back on what you put out for xmas. Every year I put less out...I put out my favorite things. I have a sister that wants people to drive anywhere from 45 min to 2hours to come to her house for xmas and now is mad that not many are. Last time we did that it was not enjoyable. ( when you have 45 people ( and now 4 toddlers added) it's just too much!) I told her flat out things have changed, and we are not coming . Idk how old your grand kids are but maybe they can help put away things.? It sounds like you have a lot on your plate plus not much help. Remember the Grinch? Christmas came without packages, boxes or bags. We need to learn not everything has to be the same. And sometimes we have to ask for help. I hope you have a lovely day with your sweet sugar lambs.

Dx 9/17/2019, DCIS/IDC, Left, 1cm, Stage IA, Grade 3, 0/2 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Radiation Therapy 1/15/2020 Whole breast: Breast Hormonal Therapy 3/8/2020 Femara (letrozole)
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Nov 26, 2022 09:47AM threetree wrote:

bcincolorado - So sorry that you got so overwhelmed and stressed over Thanksgiving, when that is what you were trying to avoid all along. Do you still take any hormone therapy? If so, could that have contributed to your overwhelm?

I agree with kidi919 that less can be more. I think I've mentioned before that when my dad got older (my mom had died) circumstances left him, my brother, and me to have holidays together. Even then he wanted to do all the old stuff we did with my mother and others attending. It was too much for any of us, but I had to make the suggestions that we scale back, and explain how it would still all be OK. We got to just having very simple and finally "token" meals - eventually wound up as turkey sandwiches during his last year of life, with a pie and bottle of wine, or we went out. I have to say some of the most meaningful (not necessarily "fun") holidays I ever had were those scaled down ones with just my father, brother, and me. We really did focus on just the fact that we were together and able to be together. Now my brother and I often just go out together or with a couple of extended family members, and again, it's fine.

I used to love to do Christmas shopping and to get all the wrap and ribbon and everything and spend lots of time on individualizing the wrapping of each gift, etc. Then game "just gift bags" will do, and now I often just order from stores and have things sent. I'll be 70 next month, but it is the cancer treatments, especially the Letrozole that has gotten me down, and I just can't do it anymore. It's a real hard thing to admit to oneself, and in my case I'm sure I could be doing more at 70 than I am now - I will never not think my slowdown and feelings of overwhelm aren't more due to cancer treatment than age, but that's the way it is.

I still don't understand why with all those other adults there, that you had so much to do! Some of them could have really helped you carry the ball and it doesn't sound like they did. I'm sold now on less people and less fuss.

Also, I could be the same way with my mother - loved her immensely, but could get so frustrated with her too, even in her old age, when I knew she needed the benefit of the doubt. I'd give anything to have her here still - even if it meant my getting crazy frustrated with her.

Breathe, relax, you will get things set out for Christmas maybe later than sooner, but it will all fall into place at some point.


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Nov 26, 2022 09:37PM bcincolorado wrote:

Well we had the little grands today and used child labor to help since they are at the age they actually like to help with things. Our grandson helped grandpa carry boxes and then haul and carry out Christmas boxes. Our littlest grand-daughter helped me out front with the outside stuff we do in the front and let her do the decorating and decide where things go and do it herself. She was happy as well. Only had them a few hours and put them work. Last time they were here it snowed and they shoveled snow.

Dx 8/2009, IDC, Left, 5cm, Stage IIA, Grade 1, 0/2 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 1/1/2010 Mastectomy (Left): Nipple Sparing; Reconstruction (Left): Tissue Expander Surgery 1/1/2010 Mastectomy (Left): Nipple Sparing Surgery 1/7/2010 Lumpectomy; Lumpectomy (Left); Lymph node removal; Lymph node removal (Left) Hormonal Therapy 1/15/2010 Tamoxifen pills (Nolvadex, Apo-Tamox, Tamofen, Tamone) Hormonal Therapy 1/30/2016 Femara (letrozole) Hormonal Therapy Femara (letrozole), Tamoxifen pills (Nolvadex, Apo-Tamox, Tamofen, Tamone)

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