Topic: STEAM ROOM FOR ANGER

Forum: Mental Health: Because Cancer Doesn't Just Affect Your Breasts — Meet and support others who are affected by these issues around anxiety, depression & other emotional effects.

Posted on: Jul 16, 2015 09:21AM - edited Aug 1, 2017 10:46PM by sas-schatzi

Posted on: Jul 16, 2015 09:21AM - edited Aug 1, 2017 10:46PM by sas-schatzi

sas-schatzi wrote:

This thread is meant to be for RANTS and RANTING. Then Rant again. We need a place to simply get rid of the anger. Write it here. Unleash it all. Get it out. This isn't meant for the Stupid comments(great thread). This is for the gut wrenching, tell them off anger.

IMPORTANT: When done ranting don't necessarily stick around. Toxic. Drop the rant and find a better thread.

Only rules: Please, follow them as the Mods will shut it down in a heartbeat( waving Mods)

1. Be careful to not mention docs, nurses, hospitals by name. Defamation and all that tedious legal stuff

2. If it's caused by someone on BCO, just don't mention their name. I think the exception will be if someone is stalking you, blow their anonymity wide open. A stalker doesn't deserve politeness.

3. If you think the rant is about you, let it go, they're no names. Don't take it personal. This is the steam room.

4. If they're is a fight, don't expect the Mods to moderate, it was your choice to come here.

5. After writing a rant, do nothing more, re-read at a future time. Decide if it's important enough for you to cut and paste the rant to whomever caused you the anger. It's a choice. Sometimes it needs to be done, but remember they're can be fall out.

6. ######## pound those keys, SCREAM(caps), J*&R$WSDF&(swear)

7. Religion and politics discussion should go to those topical threads. IF their is something that impacts cancer, it belongs here.

I will revise topic box as needed-sassy

For puking and the color works pukeewogh

Life's journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out shouting "holy crap....what a ride".
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Apr 4, 2018 01:09AM Lita57 wrote:

  • runor, it's not fair, but looking at your history, she probably treated you like you were from another planet because you're only Stage II and "You should just get over it by now. We cut it out of you and then burned it out. After all, you're not Stage IV, like so many other poor, unfortuate women, with brain mets, organ mets, bone mets and lung mets.Now THEY have something to be emotionally/psychologically upset over! They will never be cured! No amount of rads will ever completely burn it out of them. They will die in 'x' number of months or maybe a year or two or three, depending on how chemo-resistant their tumors are, and how fast they continue to metastasize. But you've got plenty of time left, and we're keeping tabs on it, so stop whining! Or do you want this to become some sort of self-fulfilling prophesy with your constant worrying?"

  • That's how some of these people are. Unless they've experienced cancer themselves, they absolutely have no idea. You will always have the Sword of Damocles hanging over your head, even if it NEVER comes back. It hasn't even been a full year since Tx ended for you yet, either. Once you have cancer, no matter the stage, it changes you forever. The painful, mental fallout never ends for some patients, even when they're NED.
Stage IV De Novo, Occult, Amorphic. New Brain Mets Aug 2017. Now on Gemzar and Zometa. Dragged into an arranged marriage with Mr. Cancer that I didn't agree to, and divorce is forbidden. Grateful for however many GOOD days I have left. Dx 4/14/2016, IDC, Left, Stage IV, metastasized to bone/liver/other, ER+/PR+, HER2- Radiation Therapy 4/26/2016 External: Bone Targeted Therapy 5/14/2016 Chemotherapy 5/21/2016 Xeloda (capecitabine) Radiation Therapy 4/19/2017 External: Bone Dx 8/23/2017, IDC, 5cm, Stage IV, metastasized to brain, Grade 3, ER+/PR+, HER2- Radiation Therapy 9/5/2017 External: Brain Chemotherapy 10/10/2017 Taxol (paclitaxel)
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Apr 4, 2018 04:43AM micmel wrote:

Runor~ waving hello my sweet friend. Did you tell that dumb ass cow that your friend had her boob replaced because of that not to worry about thing called cancer no matter what Effin stage you're at? Did you tell that cow monger analpore that a BCO possey was waiting out back to trip her and push her face into the mud and then say ohhhh did you fall into the mud? Are you ever going to get that out of your favorite blouse ever? Will you ever look at that puddle or mud or CANCER patients ever the same? Stupid ignoramous. Love you friend ~M~

Everyone has to dance, they just don’t know what song they will get. Dx 1/22/2016, IDC, Left, 4cm, Stage IV, metastasized to bone, Grade 2, 13/35 nodes, ER+/PR-, HER2- Chemotherapy 2/9/2016 AC Surgery 6/20/2016 Lymph node removal; Lymph node removal (Left): Underarm/Axillary; Mastectomy; Mastectomy (Left) Chemotherapy 7/19/2016 Abraxane (albumin-bound or nab-paclitaxel) Targeted Therapy 11/6/2016 Ibrance (palbociclib) Surgery Chemotherapy Chemotherapy Hormonal Therapy Arimidex (anastrozole)
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Apr 4, 2018 04:59AM 70charger wrote:

yup same thing only I was on ph with NP, she said "Oh sounds like you need some counselling" ( I was just having a bad day). Other people are allowed to have a bad day, yet immediately we are seen as needing counselling. Medical community needs counselling on what it is we actually go thru mentally & emotionally.

Lets ALL become butchers & have a big steak tonight.

Hugs Runor ((((((((())))))))))))

Dx 7/11/2013, IDC, 2cm, Stage I, Grade 3, 0/6 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 8/8/2013 Lumpectomy; Lumpectomy (Right) Surgery 8/8/2013 Lymph node removal; Lymph node removal (Right): Sentinel Dx 8/21/2013, DCIS, 2cm, Grade 3 Chemotherapy 9/10/2013 Cytoxan (cyclophosphamide), Taxotere (docetaxel) Radiation Therapy 12/8/2013 Breast Hormonal Therapy 12/12/2013 Arimidex (anastrozole), Tamoxifen pills (Nolvadex, Apo-Tamox, Tamofen, Tamone) Hormonal Therapy Arimidex (anastrozole)
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Apr 4, 2018 08:26AM mistyeyes wrote:

My oncologist has a lab in office. They did the blood test and you got the results to see if you can get your chemo that day. I would hate to have to make all of those special trips.

Runor - I so, so, so agree with you. The mental thing is one of the hardest to go through. Living your life if every twitch, itch, pain is cancer is total HELL! I don't think they understand the fear of having this again. I did all of the fight you told me to do, and now I'm on my own! I told my doctor, during a frantic moment, that I did not want a reoccurrence and I did not want to hear about a five year survival thing - 5 yrs is not enough . I was a survivor in my 90's and died of something different. I said we were a team and I am almost done with my part except exercise and diet it was time for his part.

He put me on a new medicine that was approved last summer. Nerlynx, for HER2+ . I need to be careful with my mouth. This stuff is whipping my butt.





IDC right- Stage IIA, Grade 3,ER-,PR+,HER2+ Dx 11/15/2016, Right, PR+, HER2-
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Apr 4, 2018 09:20AM marijen wrote:

runor, maybe next time you could bring her some educational material, ask her to read it, and call you if she's got any questions.

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Apr 4, 2018 09:39AM - edited Apr 4, 2018 09:41AM by runor

Thank you everyone! I get up every day mad at myself that I have this shadow. I get up trying to rationalize it away. Everything that Lita said, I say to myself every damn day. But that office woman .... wow, just wow. I feel it is her JOB AND RESPONSIBILITY to understand the situation I'm in. And the horrible thing is ... honesty moment ... that before I was diagnosed I was probably just as dismissive and ignorant as she was! It is hard, impossible really, to explain to most people the feeling of having a huge, cosmic hand reach down, grab you by the head and yank you out of the life you used to have and toss you into a life that LOOKS the same but is NOT the same. I remember at first feeling like everyone was an alien, or I was, I could not identify with anyone. I did not feel part of the human race anymore. I felt ... gone. I know. It's weird. I think what was gone was my picture of myself and how I felt in the world. THat perception was and remains, gone. Blown away in an instant in a doctor's office.

So what we end up doing is rebuilding our perception of ourselves and how life is going to look and feel. We mortar it together, one heavy brick at a time. We have never had to do this before, but things are busted up and we have to fix them and it's heavy friggin work and you pinch your finger between bricks or drop them on your toes and then some chippy dipshit comes along to ask if perhaps you are doing this work because you are crazy and need to talk to someone. I am not crazy! She is BLIND to not see the destruction that I am trying to repair!

I was at first diagnosed as stage 1 grade 1 but was upgraded to stage 2 grade 2. This is not the upgrade most people want. ANd now, hoping to hear the all clear, I hear that there is still a thing, not an alarming thing, not a thing anyone wants to biopsy, but a thing that they are watching. Because it kind of shouldn't be there and is not surgical scarring because it showed up BEFORE any surgery was ever done so... do I need to talk to someone? I don't know what the hell I need to do other than smile, nod, say I'm fine and pretend like everything is normal so I don't upset people who really can't handle my truth. I'm disoriented and scared. Who the hell can counsel that out of me?

Dx 3/23/2017, IDC, Left, 2cm, Stage IIB, Grade 2, 0/1 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 4/12/2017 Lumpectomy; Lumpectomy (Left); Lymph node removal Radiation Therapy 7/4/2017 Whole breast: Breast Hormonal Therapy Tamoxifen pills (Nolvadex, Apo-Tamox, Tamofen, Tamone)
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Apr 4, 2018 10:14AM marijen wrote:

I guess this would be the wrong time to post “cancer is a gift”...🤐


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Apr 4, 2018 10:29AM NoteRed wrote:

Good evening to all... Now that I m thinking of it the last 3-4 years I ve been hiding a lot of anger daily... Iwas trying not to answer to insults bout my quality of work etc.

Even now that I am in this situation my superior has an attitude like I wanted all these. To get cancer- I want and must take days off but I am afraid there will be an opportunity for them to show me the exit when I come back...on the other hand I m thinking that maybe is for the best to go from that sick en

Dx 2/2/2018, ILC, Left, 1cm, Stage IIA, Grade 3, 7/17 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-, Surgery 2/21/2018 Lymph node removal: Underarm/Axillary; Mastectomy: Left Chemotherapy 3/25/2018 Taxol (paclitaxel) Chemotherapy 6/27/2018 CEF
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Apr 4, 2018 11:11AM Artista964 wrote:

Maybe that lady sees people who are doing well. Most of us tend to respond with ok when asked how we are so maybe she was taken aback. I don't bother telling anyone but my docs how I'm really feeling. Now if the doc doesn't get it then time for a change. Just trying to give another perspective. I don't expect anyone who hasn't been through it to understand and not be insensitive except for my actual tx team. Back when I was badly infected and the threat of my implant was real the nice office manager/ma was saying you'll be ok. I don't know that, not even doc does but she's never been in it. So i let it go. I've learned from my family no point in trying to get them to get something (my anxiety at that time) when their solution was always think positive. I'm on meds so it's under control and they think i can now stop the meds since its been years. So i dont bother. How am i doing? Fine. And they don't know of my cancer stuff except my bro who is a true support. Seek support from those who benefit you and ignore everyone else except your docs which you can always change.

I used to be badly bullied as a kid. I was suicidal. Parents didn't get it and said i did something. Bullying was ignored unlike today. With counseling as a young adult i made it a goal to overcome. No one was going to intentionally cause me grief. If they don't get it i either let it go because someone like that means beans to me or i walk. I dont see some members of my own family and it's over 4 years now. They are nice but their flaws in understanding mental issues is too much for me so Im gone.

My point is, and it's for your own mental health, is to let things go. If you can't then change it. It's not easy. But forget others and work on yourself for the sake of yourself.

If you're looking for therapy i recommend cognitive behavioral therapy. The premise is everything starts with a thought. Thought leads to feelings. Feelings lead to behavior. Change the thought and lift your mood. I learned this in a psych ward 7 years ago. I changed what i could, let things go and work on my thoughts. Mine in runors situ is what i wrote, which starts with a maybe.

It sucks what we go through and to put what strangers say in top in any context of importance is a stress we don't need. I don't have time for insensitive people. I have enough aggravation with my list of ses from my stage 3 high risk to progress stuff.

Vent here but i hope you are working on yourself for your sake. Thats not negating feelings but you can make yourself sick like i did from anger.

Wish all the best.

Dxd at 50. Went thru it all on my own by choice. Dx 6/2/2015, IDC, Left, 6cm+, Stage IIIA, Grade 3, 1/4 nodes, PR+, HER2- Surgery 8/5/2015 Lymph node removal: Left, Sentinel, Underarm/Axillary; Mastectomy: Left, Right; Reconstruction (left): Silicone implant; Reconstruction (right): Silicone implant Chemotherapy 11/2/2015 AC + T (Taxotere) Radiation Therapy 5/3/2016 Whole breast: Breast, Lymph nodes Hormonal Therapy 6/28/2016 Tamoxifen pills (Nolvadex, Apo-Tamox, Tamofen, Tamone)
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Apr 4, 2018 12:06PM NoteRed wrote:

Rosabella thank you very much for your words. I also had my difficulties as a child since my mother died when I was 2...so I have a constant feeling of loss. And I always trying to protect the "helpless "... and you know its an endless fight..

I ll take your advice for the counseling i feel i need it..

Dx 2/2/2018, ILC, Left, 1cm, Stage IIA, Grade 3, 7/17 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-, Surgery 2/21/2018 Lymph node removal: Underarm/Axillary; Mastectomy: Left Chemotherapy 3/25/2018 Taxol (paclitaxel) Chemotherapy 6/27/2018 CEF

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