Topic: STEAM ROOM FOR ANGER

Forum: Mental Health: Because Cancer Doesn't Just Affect Your Breasts — Meet and support others who are affected by these issues around anxiety, depression & other emotional effects.

Posted on: Jul 16, 2015 12:21PM - edited Aug 2, 2017 01:46AM by sas-schatzi

Posted on: Jul 16, 2015 12:21PM - edited Aug 2, 2017 01:46AM by sas-schatzi

sas-schatzi wrote:

This thread is meant to be for RANTS and RANTING. Then Rant again. We need a place to simply get rid of the anger. Write it here. Unleash it all. Get it out. This isn't meant for the Stupid comments(great thread). This is for the gut wrenching, tell them off anger.

IMPORTANT: When done ranting don't necessarily stick around. Toxic. Drop the rant and find a better thread.

Only rules: Please, follow them as the Mods will shut it down in a heartbeat( waving Mods)

1. Be careful to not mention docs, nurses, hospitals by name. Defamation and all that tedious legal stuff

2. If it's caused by someone on BCO, just don't mention their name. I think the exception will be if someone is stalking you, blow their anonymity wide open. A stalker doesn't deserve politeness.

3. If you think the rant is about you, let it go, they're no names. Don't take it personal. This is the steam room.

4. If they're is a fight, don't expect the Mods to moderate, it was your choice to come here.

5. After writing a rant, do nothing more, re-read at a future time. Decide if it's important enough for you to cut and paste the rant to whomever caused you the anger. It's a choice. Sometimes it needs to be done, but remember they're can be fall out.

6. ######## pound those keys, SCREAM(caps), J*&R$WSDF&(swear)

7. Religion and politics discussion should go to those topical threads. IF their is something that impacts cancer, it belongs here.

I will revise topic box as needed-sassy

For puking and the color works pukeewogh

Life's journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out shouting "holy crap....what a ride".
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Apr 6, 2018 11:55AM Artista964 wrote:

dancingelizabeth, i bet none of them were cbt therapists. Look for ones who list it as type used. Of course you need to talk about what's wrong, that's why you go, but cbt teaches you how to change your thoughts that will in turn lift your mood. It's work on your part. And it takes time. And it's not pleasant until you mster the techniques. But stick to it and life becomes easier to deal with. If you can't change stuff then this is the way to go. Otherwise you remain where you are.

This type of therapy isn't for everyone, it's for those who really want to feel better, who are done being angry at things that they (really) can't change, are sick and tired of being so depressed and anxious all the time. Cbt is the only one that with a lot of work and tears worked for me, and i was at the bottom: suicidal. I tried killing myself. I have no SO or a unconditional fam, and just 1 friend literally. So few are worse off than me. Plus I'm on fixed income and live alone. None of these things have changed. I had to change my thought patterns or be locked up again. Stats are those who have been committed to a psych ward are likely to wind up there again. I was asked by a pt in there what is the # of times I've been in. Huh?

And it's horrible in there, and i was in a nice one. They take everything that you may use to harm yourself or others like cold meds i had on me and my cell phone. There are no power outlets in the rooms. Want to dry your hair, go in the tv room where you can be watched. Mirrors in the bathroom are what you see in prisons. No decor in the rooms, just desk chair and bed. All to prevent people from harming themselves or others. Food is like cafeteria. For me the thought of going back makes me vomit. You don't want to go there. People like me who have been in there can never work for the government jobs. It's on you record that they check.

Dxd at 50. Went thru it all on my own by choice. Dx 6/2/2015, IDC, Left, 6cm+, Stage IIIA, Grade 3, 1/4 nodes, PR+, HER2- Surgery 8/6/2015 Lymph node removal: Left, Sentinel, Underarm/Axillary; Mastectomy: Left, Right; Reconstruction (left): Silicone implant; Reconstruction (right): Silicone implant Chemotherapy 11/3/2015 AC + T (Taxotere) Radiation Therapy 5/4/2016 Whole breast: Breast, Lymph nodes Hormonal Therapy 6/28/2016 Tamoxifen pills (Nolvadex, Apo-Tamox, Tamofen, Tamone)
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Apr 6, 2018 04:16PM meow13 wrote:

Extremely depressed today. Been going through problems with my youngest. He has some kind of anxiety depression that has caused him not to graduate college. Everything seemed fine until senior year then disaster I find out the last minute. Trying to help him. But he does not want my help. The 3 roses bushes I bought and wanted to put in this spring are still not in. I went outside to plant them. I can't the ground is filled with roots and clay.

My husband says is he was going to do that but a month later nothing. He is retired, I can't stand it anymore.

Why can't they recognize the pain I feel. I tell them all strsight to their face. What the hell am I doing here?

Ps spent 10s of thousands of dollars on my oldest and no degree.

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Apr 6, 2018 07:58PM Lita57 wrote:

meow....just hire a gardener. That's what I had to do.

I love my dh dearly, but he makes gardening promises he doesn't keep. Got tired of the bullshiz and just hired a service that comes once a qtr. They transplanted some bushes for me.

It's well worth the $, and I don't waste energy nagging dh.

L


Stage IV De Novo, Occult, Amorphic. New Brain Mets Aug 2017. Now on Gemzar and Zometa. Dragged into an arranged marriage with Mr. Cancer that I didn't agree to, and divorce is forbidden. Grateful for however many GOOD days I have left. Dx 4/14/2016, IDC, Left, Stage IV, metastasized to bone/liver/other, ER+/PR+, HER2- Radiation Therapy 4/27/2016 External: Bone Targeted Therapy 5/15/2016 Chemotherapy 5/22/2016 Xeloda (capecitabine) Radiation Therapy 4/20/2017 External: Bone Dx 8/23/2017, IDC, 5cm, Stage IV, metastasized to brain, Grade 3, ER+/PR+, HER2- Radiation Therapy 9/6/2017 External: Brain Chemotherapy 10/10/2017 Taxol (paclitaxel)
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Apr 6, 2018 10:32PM meow13 wrote:

Well my husband planted the bushes and the sun came out. I wish I could do more feeling so useless these days. And I fell off the exercise band wagon. Need to get back on.

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Apr 7, 2018 08:40AM micmel wrote:

meow ~ I am sorry honey. My kids went through something similar.... effed it up and now are working full time jobs forever!!!!! Foooorrrr eeeeevvvvvveeeeerrrrrr!!!

That is how I pronounce forever also when I speak to them, I’m sure they’d like to punch me but oh well, at this point it wouldn’t even hurt after what I’ve been through ! It's not our fault. Tell them to get their asses up and plant the bush. I would get so frustrated at times I would just go outside and start slowly by myself . When everyone else realizes what's going on, they were tripping over themselves to get outside. If that doesn’t work, try just causally mentioning hiring a garden handy boy. To you're DH. Usually that threatens their manlyhood. Wake them turkeys up. I am going throug the same thing with my kids. It's an adjustment sure.... but for us it's nothing we can change. They most certainly can! I am sorry. ~M~

Everyone has to dance, they just don’t know what song they will get. Dx 1/22/2016, IDC, Left, 4cm, Stage IV, metastasized to bone, Grade 2, 13/35 nodes, ER+/PR-, HER2- Chemotherapy 2/10/2016 AC Surgery 6/21/2016 Lymph node removal; Lymph node removal (Left): Underarm/Axillary; Mastectomy; Mastectomy (Left) Chemotherapy 7/20/2016 Abraxane (albumin-bound or nab-paclitaxel) Targeted Therapy 11/7/2016 Ibrance (palbociclib) Surgery Chemotherapy Chemotherapy Hormonal Therapy Arimidex (anastrozole)
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Apr 7, 2018 10:14PM Lita57 wrote:

Maybe I shouldn't be too pissed about this, but I AM.

I closed out an IRA back in January (so my husband wouldn't have to be encumbered by it after I die and have to deal with ID, death certificates, etc.), and I thought it was ALL taken care of. So, I get a STATEMENT in the mail today, and there's a BALANCE of about 30 bucks in the account now. WTF??!!!

Looking at the spreadsheet on p 2, the moneys POSTED AFTER the January 25 close out date. Now I'm going to have to go back to Wells Fargo and raise a little Cain. People are just imbeciles these days. How hard is it for ef's sake to close an account?

I'll tell you what, most of the people who work in banks these days are youngsters with NO ATTENTION to detail. I have better things to do (hello? Infusions!) than traipse to the bank AGAIN and deal with this. I'm going to play the CANCER card BIG TIME now. (I really didn't do it when I first went in there last year, but now I have no choice...)

Fun, fun, fun,

L

Stage IV De Novo, Occult, Amorphic. New Brain Mets Aug 2017. Now on Gemzar and Zometa. Dragged into an arranged marriage with Mr. Cancer that I didn't agree to, and divorce is forbidden. Grateful for however many GOOD days I have left. Dx 4/14/2016, IDC, Left, Stage IV, metastasized to bone/liver/other, ER+/PR+, HER2- Radiation Therapy 4/27/2016 External: Bone Targeted Therapy 5/15/2016 Chemotherapy 5/22/2016 Xeloda (capecitabine) Radiation Therapy 4/20/2017 External: Bone Dx 8/23/2017, IDC, 5cm, Stage IV, metastasized to brain, Grade 3, ER+/PR+, HER2- Radiation Therapy 9/6/2017 External: Brain Chemotherapy 10/10/2017 Taxol (paclitaxel)
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Apr 7, 2018 10:31PM Egads007 wrote:

Lita - how frustrating!!! I don’t blame you a bit for going back to raise hell....they should take you to lunch for your trouble at least!! My father died of cancer back in 99’ and after my mother did his final tax return (and very careful marked the ‘deceased’ box on the return) the tax people called my Mum and told her they needed my Dad’s signature. After picking herself off the floor she told the lady that my Dad had passed....the lady STILL insisted on a signature (obviously didn’t listen to a word my Mum had said). My Mum didn’t hold back and replied with ‘well guess you’re asking me to dig him up to get your damned precious signature!’ ‘Look at the deceased box checked off you idiot!’ Then she hung up. Never heard another peep out of the tax lady again. Small as it may sound my Mum still has a sense of satisfaction from striking back at ineptitude!

Go give em’ hell!!!

"I base all my fashion choices on what doesn't itch" (Gilda Radner) Chemotherapy 3/20/2013 Doxil (doxorubicin), Taxol (paclitaxel) Surgery 8/23/2013 Lumpectomy: Right; Lymph node removal: Right Radiation Therapy 11/1/2013 Whole breast: Breast, Lymph nodes Dx IDC, 4cm, Stage IIB, Grade 3, 0/2 nodes, ER+/PR-, HER2- Hormonal Therapy Tamoxifen pills (Nolvadex, Apo-Tamox, Tamofen, Tamone)
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Apr 7, 2018 11:05PM meow13 wrote:

You know when it rains it pours. So true. I won't go into detail but I have been working with a national organization chapter for over a year now. Did alot of work volunteering, I was asked to take on chapter officer duties as a HELPER just found my application for national membership has not even been looked at. It has been over 2 months I did alot of work on that application and feel like I was being used. This on top of everything.

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Apr 7, 2018 11:15PM kmajor wrote:

Hey everyone,

Before I lost my hair to chemo it was really long and blonde. I stopped wearing my caps a little over a month ago because I was finally comfortable enough to go without them. My hair is full and it's growing really fast but of course it's still short. So today I saw someone that I haven't seen since before I was diagnosed and I've known him for about 4 years. He says to me "You look like a man with boobs". I said seriously do you think I cut off all my hair for no reason and I informed him that I've been in treatment for cancer. He felt like crap after I told him that. I wasn't even mad but some people just do not think before they speak.

Dx 7/13/2017, IDC, Left, 2cm, Stage IIB, Grade 2, 0/2 nodes, ER-/PR-, HER2- Chemotherapy 8/8/2017 AC + T (Taxol) Surgery 1/21/2018 Lumpectomy: Left; Lymph node removal Chemotherapy 2/26/2018 Xeloda (capecitabine) Radiation Therapy 9/4/2018
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Apr 7, 2018 11:20PM Egads007 wrote:

Kmajor - you should have told him ‘yeah but my hair will grow back, your missing mouth filter seems permanent’!

"I base all my fashion choices on what doesn't itch" (Gilda Radner) Chemotherapy 3/20/2013 Doxil (doxorubicin), Taxol (paclitaxel) Surgery 8/23/2013 Lumpectomy: Right; Lymph node removal: Right Radiation Therapy 11/1/2013 Whole breast: Breast, Lymph nodes Dx IDC, 4cm, Stage IIB, Grade 3, 0/2 nodes, ER+/PR-, HER2- Hormonal Therapy Tamoxifen pills (Nolvadex, Apo-Tamox, Tamofen, Tamone)

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