Topic: STEAM ROOM FOR ANGER

Forum: Mental Health: Because Cancer Doesn't Just Affect Your Breasts — Meet and support others who are affected by these issues around anxiety, depression & other emotional effects.

Posted on: Jul 16, 2015 12:21PM - edited Aug 2, 2017 01:46AM by sas-schatzi

Posted on: Jul 16, 2015 12:21PM - edited Aug 2, 2017 01:46AM by sas-schatzi

sas-schatzi wrote:

This thread is meant to be for RANTS and RANTING. Then Rant again. We need a place to simply get rid of the anger. Write it here. Unleash it all. Get it out. This isn't meant for the Stupid comments(great thread). This is for the gut wrenching, tell them off anger.

IMPORTANT: When done ranting don't necessarily stick around. Toxic. Drop the rant and find a better thread.

Only rules: Please, follow them as the Mods will shut it down in a heartbeat( waving Mods)

1. Be careful to not mention docs, nurses, hospitals by name. Defamation and all that tedious legal stuff

2. If it's caused by someone on BCO, just don't mention their name. I think the exception will be if someone is stalking you, blow their anonymity wide open. A stalker doesn't deserve politeness.

3. If you think the rant is about you, let it go, they're no names. Don't take it personal. This is the steam room.

4. If they're is a fight, don't expect the Mods to moderate, it was your choice to come here.

5. After writing a rant, do nothing more, re-read at a future time. Decide if it's important enough for you to cut and paste the rant to whomever caused you the anger. It's a choice. Sometimes it needs to be done, but remember they're can be fall out.

6. ######## pound those keys, SCREAM(caps), J*&R$WSDF&(swear)

7. Religion and politics discussion should go to those topical threads. IF their is something that impacts cancer, it belongs here.

I will revise topic box as needed-sassy

For puking and the color works pukeewogh

Life's journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out shouting "holy crap....what a ride".
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May 24, 2018 09:35PM Lula73 wrote:

So sorry to hear of Bluebird’s passing. She was a big part of these boards on BCO and always provided good input. Her personalized signature quote is one of my favorites. I know she would want all of us to continue in her footsteps with that quote:

"Every mistake I have made has proven to be invaluable information for someone. Namely, me." Me. Diane

-Lula Dx 1/2017, DCIS/IDC, Right, 1cm, Stage IA, Grade 1, 0/2 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 2/14/2017 Lymph node removal: Sentinel; Mastectomy: Left, Right; Prophylactic ovary removal; Reconstruction (left): DIEP flap; Reconstruction (right): DIEP flap Hormonal Therapy 3/3/2017 Tamoxifen pills (Nolvadex, Apo-Tamox, Tamofen, Tamone) Surgery 11/1/2017 Prophylactic ovary removal Hormonal Therapy 1/3/2018 Femara (letrozole)
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May 25, 2018 07:56AM Kattysmith wrote:

Yeah, I'm pretty good at the "don't ask or I'll kill you" 'tude . Happy Next week I'm going to get my hair buzzed to about a 1/2" and go from there!

First diagnosed borderline Stage 2 IDC, left breast in 2003. No problems until a surprise (!) Stage IV recurrence in 2015! In addition to treatments listed below, I started monthly injections of Xgeva for bone support in July 2016. Dx 10/23/2015, Left, Stage IV, metastasized to other, Grade 3, 0/3 nodes, ER+, HER2- Chemotherapy 11/4/2015 AC Hormonal Therapy 2/5/2016 Femara (letrozole) Targeted Therapy 2/5/2016 Ibrance (palbociclib) Immunotherapy 12/23/2018 Hormonal Therapy Faslodex (fulvestrant)
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May 26, 2018 11:48PM DancingElizabeth wrote:

I am sad to hear of Bluebird's passing, as well..I hate this disease...

Dx 4/13/2016, DCIS/IDC, Right, 6cm+, Stage IIIA, Grade 3, 3/23 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 5/18/2016 Mastectomy: Left, Right; Reconstruction (left); Reconstruction (right) Surgery 5/31/2016 Lymph node removal: Sentinel, Underarm/Axillary Chemotherapy 7/6/2016 AC + T (Taxol) Radiation Therapy 11/8/2016 Hormonal Therapy 11/9/2016
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May 27, 2018 02:51AM runor wrote:

Long rant. Probably ranted about it before and can't remember that I did so this will be a repeat rant. Next rant ... thanks to tamoxifen I can't remember shit. Seriously. But that rant is for another day (which I will forget about).

I HATE how this disease has made me a person of comparisons. How did this happen? Is it me or is it everyone else around me? It's absolutely insane that a tragedy can no longer be a tragedy but is instead judged on a sliding scale of pros and cons, judged against cancer. Let me explain.

I have a friend. Diabetic. Stubbed a toe and toe did not heal. Toe turned black. Shit went wrong. They took off toes. Then most of her foot. And as the badness kept spreading they took her foot off above the ankle. When infection set in days later while still in hospital they took MORE of that leg off, to just below the knee. She spent the next many months trying to recover. Healing for her is very slow because of her diabetes. When others would have been walking on a prosthetic, docs advised her to take things super slow and easy. They didn't want anything to anger or damage her stump. She has been miserable for a long time, mostly immobile waiting for her stump to heal really, really well.

Then the toes on her other foot began to get funky. They took off the front half of her remaining foot and MORE time was spent in recovery. She was getting on her foott, trying to balance on half a foot and one fake leg. Today she sent me a text. It said, "Back in hospital. Got infection. They took my leg."

My heart hit the floor. The change in her life is catastrophic. She cannot do anything for herself. Her Husband's life has changed. He has to do everything for her. They live in a house where you have to go up a flight of stairs to get to the living area from outside. They may have to sell their home and move somewhere else where she can function in a wheelchair.

And as I thought about this a thought edged into my head. The thought was, this is worse than cancer. At least for me, at this point, I can carry on with my life as before. Mostly. There are a few glitches and pains and lymphedema, but they pale in comparison to losing both your legs to diabetes.... COMPARISON! There is that dirty word. Comparison? Why is everything like that? Why can't my cancer be a tragedy, your cancer be a tragedy and her leg loss be a tragedy? I thought maybe it was just me thinking this way but no, I hear these words issue forth from the mouths of many people. I sometimes feel like I have to apologize for feeling shitty about my cancer because other people have it so much worse (they win) until my cancer comes back in my bones or brain ( ha ha, now I'm winning!) and then it will kill me (boo, I lose!) I wonder, do I have a right to feel bad in the face of much greater misery? Real misery and suffering. And yet I feel bad despite this and that makes me feel bad that I feel bad. I hate myself for hating myself. It's circular and stupid.

It staggers me sometimes, drops me to my knees, the misery humans can suffer. In their minds and in their bodies. It amazes me how humans overcome and conquer, how they get on with the business of getting on, good or bad, it must be done. I wish I didn't do that insane comparison, that questioning of whether or not I should be allowed to feel bad. Which only makes me feel bad. But right now I feel very, very bad for my friend. She is in a black place and I do not know how to help her.

Dx 3/23/2017, IDC, Left, 2cm, Stage IIB, Grade 2, 0/1 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 4/12/2017 Lumpectomy; Lumpectomy (Left); Lymph node removal Radiation Therapy 7/5/2017 Whole breast: Breast Hormonal Therapy Tamoxifen pills (Nolvadex, Apo-Tamox, Tamofen, Tamone)
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May 27, 2018 01:50PM candy-678 wrote:

Runor---

BLESS YOU !!!!!  DAMN, YOU HIT THE NAIL ON THE HEAD !!!!!!  

April 2021 first progression and flip ER-/PR+ now. Current treatment as of Sept 2021 is Lynparza, Lupron (been on since Nov 2017), and Xgeva (been on since Nov 2017). Dx 6/2017, ILC/IDC, Left, 3cm, Stage IIB, Grade 3, 0/1 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Dx 9/2017, ILC/IDC, Stage IV, metastasized to bone/liver, 0/1 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Hormonal Therapy 11/1/2017 Femara (letrozole) Targeted Therapy 11/1/2017 Ibrance (palbociclib) Hormonal Therapy 11/1/2017 Dx 4/2021, ER-/PR+, HER2- Targeted Therapy 9/1/2021 Lynparza (olaparib) Chemotherapy AC Surgery Lymph node removal; Mastectomy; Mastectomy (Left)
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May 27, 2018 06:18PM rockymountaingirl wrote:

Therapygirl, I just saw your May 15 post, and wow, it sure hit home with me. I, too, have found the emotional impact of this disease very hard to deal with. Surgery I got through just fine, chemo I'm sure I can manage (though not looking forward to it!), radiation I can handle. The shock, the uncertainty, the disruption of my life -- those are the hardest things for me to endure, and some of the people in my life, including medical people who should know better, have NOT been willing to even listen to me when I try to talk about such things. Very unhelpful.

The best advice I have received is to have as little as possible to do with the people who are unwilling or unable to help you deal with the things that trouble you, and rely as much as you can on those who are willing to listen and try to help. In my case, one person who has been helpful is the social worker at the medical center where I am receiving treatment. She is my go-to person when I need someone to listen and help me deal with the stress of my situation. Another person who has been helpful is the nurse navigator for breast cancer patients. She's great if I need to find out who to talk to about something, or if I'm having trouble getting a question answered, getting an appointment set up, or getting something done.

You should not have to put up with people who make it harder for you to get through this. So, if you need a little empathy, encouragement, or just practical help, and you aren't getting it from the person who ought to be providing it, I suggest looking for someone who can fill the gap. Your "someone" might be a nurse, a fellow patient, your aunt Sue, your next-door neighbor, or, like me, you might find that there is a social worker or "navigator" available to you who can help you deal with all sorts of problems. This is not a total solution to the problem of insensitive, uncaring, or unhelpful healthcare professionals; you will still encounter them. But if you can find a way to work around them to get what you need, at least some of the time, it may make your life a little better.

Dx 3/8/2018, IDC, Left, 1cm, Stage IA, Grade 3, 0/3 nodes, ER-/PR-, HER2- Dx 4/24/2018, DCIS, Left, Stage 0 Surgery 4/24/2018 Lumpectomy; Lumpectomy (Left) Surgery 5/15/2018 Lumpectomy; Lumpectomy (Left) Chemotherapy 6/10/2018 Carboplatin (Paraplatin), Taxol (paclitaxel) Radiation Therapy 9/27/2018 Whole breast: Breast
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May 27, 2018 08:49PM Artista964 wrote:

wow, sorry to hear about your friend. I'v said before I'd rather be in my shoes with shitty ses than my dads. Seems the falls he had have damaged nerves to where his left arm is useless and left leg isn't great either. He needs my brothers help for a lot of things now. At least im very functional still despite bad fatigue and memory stuff, achy joints, insomnia, etc. So many people have it worse than me and my care for them trumps my woe wes me, poor me ever time.

Dxd at 50. Went thru it all on my own by choice. Dx 6/2/2015, IDC, Left, 6cm+, Stage IIIA, Grade 3, 1/4 nodes, PR+, HER2- Surgery 8/6/2015 Lymph node removal: Left, Sentinel, Underarm/Axillary; Mastectomy: Left, Right; Reconstruction (left): Silicone implant; Reconstruction (right): Silicone implant Chemotherapy 11/3/2015 AC + T (Taxotere) Radiation Therapy 5/4/2016 Whole breast: Breast, Lymph nodes Hormonal Therapy 6/28/2016 Tamoxifen pills (Nolvadex, Apo-Tamox, Tamofen, Tamone)
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May 27, 2018 09:23PM Lita57 wrote:

Rocky and Therapy, hopefully there is a cancer support group that meets in your area. I found that very helpful my first year dealing with Mr Cancer. I don’t go much anymore, other than to help support the new people.

Not trying to defend them, but drs and even onco nurses in my area are so over-scheduled these days.

Palliative care docs can be a good resource too.

But it continues to be a struggle, no matter what.

L


Stage IV De Novo, Occult, Amorphic. New Brain Mets Aug 2017. Now on Gemzar and Zometa. Dragged into an arranged marriage with Mr. Cancer that I didn't agree to, and divorce is forbidden. Grateful for however many GOOD days I have left. Dx 4/14/2016, IDC, Left, Stage IV, metastasized to bone/liver/other, ER+/PR+, HER2- Radiation Therapy 4/27/2016 External: Bone Targeted Therapy 5/15/2016 Chemotherapy 5/22/2016 Xeloda (capecitabine) Radiation Therapy 4/20/2017 External: Bone Dx 8/23/2017, IDC, 5cm, Stage IV, metastasized to brain, Grade 3, ER+/PR+, HER2- Radiation Therapy 9/6/2017 External: Brain Chemotherapy 10/10/2017 Taxol (paclitaxel)
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May 30, 2018 02:36AM Artista964 wrote:

More like devastated. My dad has been suffering from left side weakness for about a year now. He sometimes loses his balance and falls. His left arm is basically useless. After tests ruling out things like stroke and ms (mri, nerve conduction test, emg) docs best guess is pls (Primary lateral sclerosis) which is kind of like the non fatal form of als. The disabilities are the same but als you have 1-5 years average and pls 10 to maybe even 20. I'm trying to find a motor neuron problem that doesn't necessarily progress and has treatment. None with these diseases. Neuro confirmed today the damaged nerves are causing the signal to move in some muscles not to work or fully. I have read nothing reassuring or hopeful with any if the mnd.

Anyone here know of anyone that can share a story about. Tia. I should change from rosabella to devastated. Love my dad more than life itself. Felt like i have a death sentence, in fact id take the bullet for him no matter what it is. Other than this he is in good health with 0 issues with anything else. He was always wowing his doc with his bp, cholesterol, playing tennis up to 78. He's 79 now.

😭

Dxd at 50. Went thru it all on my own by choice. Dx 6/2/2015, IDC, Left, 6cm+, Stage IIIA, Grade 3, 1/4 nodes, PR+, HER2- Surgery 8/6/2015 Lymph node removal: Left, Sentinel, Underarm/Axillary; Mastectomy: Left, Right; Reconstruction (left): Silicone implant; Reconstruction (right): Silicone implant Chemotherapy 11/3/2015 AC + T (Taxotere) Radiation Therapy 5/4/2016 Whole breast: Breast, Lymph nodes Hormonal Therapy 6/28/2016 Tamoxifen pills (Nolvadex, Apo-Tamox, Tamofen, Tamone)
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May 30, 2018 09:25AM micmel wrote:

holding your hand roseabella. I’m very sorry.

Everyone has to dance, they just don’t know what song they will get. Dx 1/22/2016, IDC, Left, 4cm, Stage IV, metastasized to bone, Grade 2, 13/35 nodes, ER+/PR-, HER2- Chemotherapy 2/10/2016 AC Surgery 6/21/2016 Lymph node removal; Lymph node removal (Left): Underarm/Axillary; Mastectomy; Mastectomy (Left) Chemotherapy 7/20/2016 Abraxane (albumin-bound or nab-paclitaxel) Targeted Therapy 11/7/2016 Ibrance (palbociclib) Surgery Chemotherapy Chemotherapy Hormonal Therapy Arimidex (anastrozole)

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