Topic: STEAM ROOM FOR ANGER

Forum: Mental Health: Because Cancer Doesn't Just Affect Your Breasts — Meet and support others who are affected by these issues around anxiety, depression & other emotional effects.

Posted on: Jul 16, 2015 12:21PM - edited Aug 2, 2017 01:46AM by sas-schatzi

Posted on: Jul 16, 2015 12:21PM - edited Aug 2, 2017 01:46AM by sas-schatzi

sas-schatzi wrote:

This thread is meant to be for RANTS and RANTING. Then Rant again. We need a place to simply get rid of the anger. Write it here. Unleash it all. Get it out. This isn't meant for the Stupid comments(great thread). This is for the gut wrenching, tell them off anger.

IMPORTANT: When done ranting don't necessarily stick around. Toxic. Drop the rant and find a better thread.

Only rules: Please, follow them as the Mods will shut it down in a heartbeat( waving Mods)

1. Be careful to not mention docs, nurses, hospitals by name. Defamation and all that tedious legal stuff

2. If it's caused by someone on BCO, just don't mention their name. I think the exception will be if someone is stalking you, blow their anonymity wide open. A stalker doesn't deserve politeness.

3. If you think the rant is about you, let it go, they're no names. Don't take it personal. This is the steam room.

4. If they're is a fight, don't expect the Mods to moderate, it was your choice to come here.

5. After writing a rant, do nothing more, re-read at a future time. Decide if it's important enough for you to cut and paste the rant to whomever caused you the anger. It's a choice. Sometimes it needs to be done, but remember they're can be fall out.

6. ######## pound those keys, SCREAM(caps), J*&R$WSDF&(swear)

7. Religion and politics discussion should go to those topical threads. IF their is something that impacts cancer, it belongs here.

I will revise topic box as needed-sassy

For puking and the color works pukeewogh

Life's journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out shouting "holy crap....what a ride".
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Jun 6, 2018 05:24PM Lita57 wrote:

Mustlovepoo.....

Yep, I sure do...marble poos; soft turd poos; pipe-shaped poos; runny poos; unexpected, explosive diarrhea poos. I went FIVE times in less than 8 hrs last night cuz I had my Gemzar infusion yesterday. Was wearing my trusty Depends, too, since I have anal/fecal incontinence, thanks to my 20+ brain mets.

Always a fun time around here, L


Stage IV De Novo, Occult, Amorphic. New Brain Mets Aug 2017. Now on Gemzar and Zometa. Dragged into an arranged marriage with Mr. Cancer that I didn't agree to, and divorce is forbidden. Grateful for however many GOOD days I have left. Dx 4/14/2016, IDC, Left, Stage IV, metastasized to bone/liver/other, ER+/PR+, HER2- Radiation Therapy 4/27/2016 External: Bone Targeted Therapy 5/15/2016 Chemotherapy 5/22/2016 Xeloda (capecitabine) Radiation Therapy 4/20/2017 External: Bone Dx 8/23/2017, IDC, 5cm, Stage IV, metastasized to brain, Grade 3, ER+/PR+, HER2- Radiation Therapy 9/6/2017 External: Brain Chemotherapy 10/10/2017 Taxol (paclitaxel)
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Jun 6, 2018 05:41PM - edited Jun 6, 2018 11:25PM by mustlovepoodles

LOL, yeah, a lot of people think its mustlovepoo. Of course, I was a nurse for 40 years, so I've seen a lot of poo in my time.

Okay, here's the long tale. My DH has been in poor health for over 10 years. Until the last year things had been rocking along more or less smoothly. We got through my breast cancer and his prostate cancer (simultaneously), the deaths of both mothers, the sale of our house and my mothers house, and the move into the full-time RV life. Beginning late last fall I began to notice my DH "slipping." He's 61 and takes a LOT of meds, so I thought it was just that. In Feb he began to have problems with balance and memory. CT scan shows he had a stroke sometime between June 2017 and Feb 2018. Their is also scarring near the brainstem possibly due to his other condition. All of this can cause his symptoms.

Here's his problem: Despite him using multiple forms of reminders, DH constantly forgets things. Constantly. Today we have had 5 conversations about the potluck we're going to tonight. Just a few min ago he asked me about the spaghetti I'm cooking--there is no spaghetti cooking and there has been no mention of spaghetti so far. He forgot a doctor appt this a.m., despite several reminders yesterday. Thankfully, I was there to remind him AGAIN to get up and get ready.

And that doesn't even begin to address "the spelling bee." DH has never been a good speller, but now its 10 times worse because he cannot easily recognize words even with spell-check. Some days are worse than others. When he gets started though, its gonna be a long day. "Spell rabbit" "spell amen" "spell bolt" "spell strange", etc. Its endless. When he is telling me something, he substitutes words to the point that sometimes I can't figure out what he's trying to tell me. Interestingly, DH is still managing to do the bills and the RV & car maintenance. He can do minor house repairs. He walks the dog. These are all things that he has done since he was 14, so they are deeply embedded memories.

Here's my problem: His behaviors are driving me crazy. I'm irritable as hell from dealing with this all day every day. I try to be kind and loving. He's not doing these things to aggravate me. He is as distressed about it as I am. It probably doesn't help that we're both retired, so we have a lot of contact with each other. I have encouraged him to take a music class. I plan to take a knitting class. I don't care about knitting in the least, but it is one place where I KNOW he won't tag along.

I feel terrible about this and it is hard to disguise my frustration sometimes. I can't talk about this with anyone IRL. I'm already on several psych meds (I have bipolar disorder.) I feel like I'm in a Crazy House.

Oncotype 23. Positive for PALB2 & Chek2 gene mutations. My breasts are trying to kill me! Dx 7/20/2015, DCIS/IDC, Right, 1cm, Stage IA, Grade 3, 0/2 nodes, ER+/PR-, HER2- Surgery 8/20/2015 Lumpectomy Surgery 9/3/2015 Lumpectomy: Right Chemotherapy 10/19/2015 Cytoxan (cyclophosphamide), Taxotere (docetaxel) Surgery 2/4/2016 Prophylactic mastectomy: Left, Right Surgery 10/19/2016 Hormonal Therapy Femara (letrozole) Surgery
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Jun 6, 2018 05:55PM Lita57 wrote:

Geez, mustlovepoodles, even retired people in "normal" r'ships get on each other's nerves.

I'm going thru a little bit of that w/my DH. Because I have brain mets, he questions EVERYTHING I do, and it drives me crazy. I snap at him constantly, asking, "Why do you question me all the time? I have St IV cancer, but I'm not brain DEAD yet!" We don't even sleep in the same room anymore.

His memory is okay, but I've noticed little blips here and there, too. We went away for a weekend, and you wouldn't believe all the stuff he forgot to pack that HE was supposed to be responsible for. I've written up an Excel spreadsheet for him now, where he'll have to check things off when we go away again later in the year. Whether he uses the list or not, is up to him. Ya can lead a horse to water....

L



Stage IV De Novo, Occult, Amorphic. New Brain Mets Aug 2017. Now on Gemzar and Zometa. Dragged into an arranged marriage with Mr. Cancer that I didn't agree to, and divorce is forbidden. Grateful for however many GOOD days I have left. Dx 4/14/2016, IDC, Left, Stage IV, metastasized to bone/liver/other, ER+/PR+, HER2- Radiation Therapy 4/27/2016 External: Bone Targeted Therapy 5/15/2016 Chemotherapy 5/22/2016 Xeloda (capecitabine) Radiation Therapy 4/20/2017 External: Bone Dx 8/23/2017, IDC, 5cm, Stage IV, metastasized to brain, Grade 3, ER+/PR+, HER2- Radiation Therapy 9/6/2017 External: Brain Chemotherapy 10/10/2017 Taxol (paclitaxel)
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Jun 6, 2018 06:37PM Lula73 wrote:

Lita-I use a spreadsheet to pack! I’ve got one for family trips, business trips, and couples trips! And that was before my memory issues from BC treatment - LOL! Now I’m glad I have them, who knows what I would’ve forgotten to put on them!

-Lula Dx 1/2017, DCIS/IDC, Right, 1cm, Stage IA, Grade 1, 0/2 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 2/14/2017 Lymph node removal: Sentinel; Mastectomy: Left, Right; Prophylactic ovary removal; Reconstruction (left): DIEP flap; Reconstruction (right): DIEP flap Hormonal Therapy 3/3/2017 Tamoxifen pills (Nolvadex, Apo-Tamox, Tamofen, Tamone) Surgery 11/1/2017 Prophylactic ovary removal Hormonal Therapy 1/3/2018 Femara (letrozole)
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Jun 6, 2018 10:31PM Egads007 wrote:

Mustlovepoodles - I don’t envy your plight, you must feel torn in two most days...wanting to live up to the ‘in sickness and in health vow’ while also having a very human reaction of annoyance. My DH forgets things and there is no physical or emotional reason. I’m convinced he’s just a lousy listener. Some days he’s just a...well, a dunce! It drives me crazy and it can snap me from sugar to shit in a New York minute! Like you, I feel terrible if I let it show...but for crying out loud when I say “the car keys are on the counter” and he replies “what do you mean?” I can’t help but exclaim “what do you think I meant..peel the cantaloupe?!?!?” Sheesh. Now don’t get get me wrong, I love him like no other, he is truly my angel from up above, but some days I could drop kick him across the front lawn! My situation is no where near yours, but I get what you are feeling and sympathize. I think your idea of finding separate hobbies/classes to get a breather from it all is excellent (just don’t knit a noose lol!) My DH took up golf and I have the gym...it’s made things better for both of us. Perhaps you could check out support groups specific to your situation? I betcha there are specific online groups too (besides us...we’re here for you too!) Big hugs!! P.S. I have noticed the poo thing for a while too, but was too chicken to say anything because you’re always so nice &kind. I’m so glad it was finally put out there LOL!
"I base all my fashion choices on what doesn't itch" (Gilda Radner) Chemotherapy 3/20/2013 Doxil (doxorubicin), Taxol (paclitaxel) Surgery 8/23/2013 Lumpectomy: Right; Lymph node removal: Right Radiation Therapy 11/1/2013 Whole breast: Breast, Lymph nodes Dx IDC, 4cm, Stage IIB, Grade 3, 0/2 nodes, ER+/PR-, HER2- Hormonal Therapy Tamoxifen pills (Nolvadex, Apo-Tamox, Tamofen, Tamone)
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Jun 6, 2018 11:26PM marijen wrote:

Wait a minute. You can peel cantaloupe! Rofl! I never noticed the poo 💩


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Jun 6, 2018 11:36PM Egads007 wrote:

Marijen -Yes but you can’t start the car with the peels LOL!!

"I base all my fashion choices on what doesn't itch" (Gilda Radner) Chemotherapy 3/20/2013 Doxil (doxorubicin), Taxol (paclitaxel) Surgery 8/23/2013 Lumpectomy: Right; Lymph node removal: Right Radiation Therapy 11/1/2013 Whole breast: Breast, Lymph nodes Dx IDC, 4cm, Stage IIB, Grade 3, 0/2 nodes, ER+/PR-, HER2- Hormonal Therapy Tamoxifen pills (Nolvadex, Apo-Tamox, Tamofen, Tamone)
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Jun 7, 2018 12:08AM marijen wrote:

So funny! I know what you mean Egads!

Happy

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Jun 7, 2018 05:56AM - edited Jun 7, 2018 05:57AM by Egads007

MARIJEN - LOL!! My turn to be a dunce...hows that for karma kicking my ass across the front lawn!

"I base all my fashion choices on what doesn't itch" (Gilda Radner) Chemotherapy 3/20/2013 Doxil (doxorubicin), Taxol (paclitaxel) Surgery 8/23/2013 Lumpectomy: Right; Lymph node removal: Right Radiation Therapy 11/1/2013 Whole breast: Breast, Lymph nodes Dx IDC, 4cm, Stage IIB, Grade 3, 0/2 nodes, ER+/PR-, HER2- Hormonal Therapy Tamoxifen pills (Nolvadex, Apo-Tamox, Tamofen, Tamone)
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Jun 7, 2018 07:56AM marijen wrote:

I don’t know Egads, maybe we should be thankful they’re so clueless. Just saying...

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