Forum: Mental Health: Because Cancer Doesn't Just Affect Your Breasts — Meet and support others who are affected by these issues around anxiety, depression & other emotional effects.

Posted on: Jul 16, 2015 12:21PM - edited Aug 2, 2017 01:46AM by sas-schatzi

Posted on: Jul 16, 2015 12:21PM - edited Aug 2, 2017 01:46AM by sas-schatzi

sas-schatzi wrote:

This thread is meant to be for RANTS and RANTING. Then Rant again. We need a place to simply get rid of the anger. Write it here. Unleash it all. Get it out. This isn't meant for the Stupid comments(great thread). This is for the gut wrenching, tell them off anger.

IMPORTANT: When done ranting don't necessarily stick around. Toxic. Drop the rant and find a better thread.

Only rules: Please, follow them as the Mods will shut it down in a heartbeat( waving Mods)

1. Be careful to not mention docs, nurses, hospitals by name. Defamation and all that tedious legal stuff

2. If it's caused by someone on BCO, just don't mention their name. I think the exception will be if someone is stalking you, blow their anonymity wide open. A stalker doesn't deserve politeness.

3. If you think the rant is about you, let it go, they're no names. Don't take it personal. This is the steam room.

4. If they're is a fight, don't expect the Mods to moderate, it was your choice to come here.

5. After writing a rant, do nothing more, re-read at a future time. Decide if it's important enough for you to cut and paste the rant to whomever caused you the anger. It's a choice. Sometimes it needs to be done, but remember they're can be fall out.

6. ######## pound those keys, SCREAM(caps), J*&R$WSDF&(swear)

7. Religion and politics discussion should go to those topical threads. IF their is something that impacts cancer, it belongs here.

I will revise topic box as needed-sassy

For puking and the color works pukeewogh

Life's journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out shouting "holy crap....what a ride".
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Jun 9, 2018 10:40PM - edited Jun 9, 2018 10:44PM by sas-schatzi

Just as an example of concern of living in the hinterland. Dear Twin was in a very small hospital the last week. 1. they didn't pick up right away that he CBC showed bone marrow suppression. 2. her port of 8 years clotted with a blood draw, they didn't know what Cathflo was and that it could be used with ports. They "looked it up" and said it could only be used with Piccs. From Florida, I'm saying ask about Cathflo and do they have a Hematoligist on staff. The next day she was transferred to a larger hospital for a hematologic evaluation.

They took out her port-------hmmm didn't attempt Cathflo........She ended up d/c in a couple of days, but no answer to bone marrow suppression. But her numbers got better. Oh, not on chemo, not on any new drugs, but Platelets were 45, RBC< normal(new), WBC showed three drops under normal over 3 days. But came up on last day to bottom normal. She was in Michigan. You get above Saginaw / Bay city, it's a medical wasteland until you get to Traverse City

That was the phrase I was looking for for my own county. Medical wasteland. Obviously, it's improved over the years. But not close to the big centers

Life's journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out shouting "holy crap....what a ride".
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Jun 10, 2018 06:30AM - edited Jun 10, 2018 06:35AM by m0mmyof3

Sas, I would only be about a half hour from medical care. We had already been looking at that situation and talking to family members about the quality of care at the two hospitals we would with in reach of.

If you value your freedom, thank a servicemember both serving and retired!
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Jun 11, 2018 03:45PM sas-schatzi wrote:

Mommy, great. YAAY 1/2 hour is doable. When I moved from Akron in 1992, it just wasn't on my radar. Schools were the absolute priority. I had always lived where there were major medical centers. It was a shock when I realize how backward my county was.

Life's journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out shouting "holy crap....what a ride".
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Jun 13, 2018 09:38PM HollyDollyD wrote:

I went to a MH First Aid training yesterday. The speaker compared MH to cancer. Just no. Yes, I understand that it is hard for people to find analogies for mental health issues. Yes, I understand MH is underfunded and employees are underpaid. Yes, we need to do more for all of us with anxiety, depression, suicidal ideation, psychotic disturbances, PTSD and all other mental health issues.

However, it was so triggering to hear that. I literally had to get up and get out quickly. Then I got to a bathroom and sobbed. (Hello PTSD). And with 12.5% of the female population in the US facing this, not to mention those who have a relative or friend with BC, I think the training needs to be handled differently.

And please don't ask people to do physical exercises in MH training without disclaiming for disabilities. It's great that there are kinesthetic ways to remember the exercises. It's frustrating that it was, "Stand up and do this" with no...if you can, and if you want to sit, it's OK, too. I still cannot get my arms above my head.

I spoke to the trainer afterward, kindly, gently and respectfully and voiced my concerns. She understood in a heartbeat and the look of horror on her face when she realized....I know she won't ever make the mistake again. But the other trainers.....and then she explained that part of their literature actually teaches that comparison. Just....NO.

Am I overreacting? What do you ladies think?

“Courage is the most important of all the virtues because without courage, you can't practice any other virtue consistently.” ― Maya Angelou
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Jun 13, 2018 09:54PM - edited Jun 13, 2018 09:55PM by meow13

I heard one BCO member say that she need sometime off or something to cope with her recent diagnosis of breast cancer and her coworker looked at her and said "so what, I have to live with AFIB". Oh my God, no it is just wrong.

Cancer, is bad the treatment is bad and the outcome is uncertain. It can grow out of control and take your life. And that is the physical reality not even the emotional one.

I think it is not right to compare anything to cancer.

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Jun 13, 2018 10:40PM marijen wrote:

My sister said something similar to that, that she has a heart problem and more likely to die. Like cancer is no big deal.

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Jun 13, 2018 11:30PM mustlovepoodles wrote:

Of course cancer is a big deal, but i think we need to recognize that other conditions are a big deal, too. Its not a contest. There are no gold stars at the end.

My mother had thyroid cancer when she was 48. Had her thyroid removed. Lots of people live with low thyroid, right? Well, try keeping all those hormones regulated when you have NO functioning thyroid, not even a little bit! She suffered with a LOT of side effects. You know what people told her? That she should be glad she had thyroid cancer. That she was lucky to have "the good kind of cancer." I kid you not.

Mother also had atrial fibrillation, a condition which causes disturbing heart rhythms and palpitations. It caused her to have mini strokes. Those mini strokes could lead to major strokes. Mother lived in mortal fear of "the big one." She likened it to the sword of Damocles hanging over her head. Cancer didn't scare her at all, but A-fib did.

Oncotype 23. Positive for PALB2 & Chek2 gene mutations. My breasts are trying to kill me! Dx 7/20/2015, DCIS/IDC, Right, 1cm, Stage IA, Grade 3, 0/2 nodes, ER+/PR-, HER2- Surgery 8/20/2015 Lumpectomy Surgery 9/3/2015 Lumpectomy: Right Chemotherapy 10/19/2015 Cytoxan (cyclophosphamide), Taxotere (docetaxel) Surgery 2/4/2016 Prophylactic mastectomy: Left, Right Surgery 10/19/2016 Hormonal Therapy Femara (letrozole) Surgery
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Jun 14, 2018 12:00AM Artista964 wrote:

i agree. I'd rather be in my boat of uncertainty than folks with dementia or als that know life is shorter for sure and very debilitating. All terminal illnesses suck.

Dxd at 50. Went thru it all on my own by choice. Dx 6/2/2015, IDC, Left, 6cm+, Stage IIIA, Grade 3, 1/4 nodes, PR+, HER2- Surgery 8/6/2015 Lymph node removal: Left, Sentinel, Underarm/Axillary; Mastectomy: Left, Right; Reconstruction (left): Silicone implant; Reconstruction (right): Silicone implant Chemotherapy 11/3/2015 AC + T (Taxotere) Radiation Therapy 5/4/2016 Whole breast: Breast, Lymph nodes Hormonal Therapy 6/28/2016 Tamoxifen pills (Nolvadex, Apo-Tamox, Tamofen, Tamone)
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Jun 14, 2018 12:07AM meow13 wrote:

I am not saying AFIB is not serious the comparison and the lack of compassion to a breast cancer patient is. That coworker balked at her for needing emotional time off that is what I was saying.

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Jun 14, 2018 12:16AM - edited Jun 14, 2018 12:17AM by Lula73

I'll wade in just a frustration with those types of comments comes when someone talks about a totally treatable condition being the same or worse than cancer (ie diabetes, many MH conditions, hypertension, high cholesterol, etc). The difference between the treatable condition and cancer is that the treatable condition has predictable take your pills/insulin, follow the advice from the nutritionist/counselor/therapist and the condition/disease is treatable and manageable with low mortality risk. If you choose to be non-compliant, there are no guarantees. With cancer, it does not matter how well you stick to the treatment and follow the advice from your medical team, it can still rear its ugly head and take you out. The treatment for cancer is also on a whole different level compared to almost any other condition's treatment. It's not as easy as just taking a pill or shot. And isn't that part of what we complain about when someone says to us, “oh you have BC...that's easily cured nowadays" and blows us off? I'd rather take insulin injections everyday for the rest of my life vs deal with cancer for even 1 minute. Yes, conditions like A-fib are just as serious and can take you out. However, if it does take you out, odds are it will be quick. Cancer, not so much. Many times, too, the person making these comments has never dealt with a cancer diagnosis themselves. If they had, those words more than likely would never be uttered. Just my thoughts at this moment.... In the next moment I may have different thoughts or I may forget them altogether - thank you letrozole!🤨

-Lula Dx 1/2017, DCIS/IDC, Right, 1cm, Stage IA, Grade 1, 0/2 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 2/14/2017 Lymph node removal: Sentinel; Mastectomy: Left, Right; Prophylactic ovary removal; Reconstruction (left): DIEP flap; Reconstruction (right): DIEP flap Hormonal Therapy 3/3/2017 Tamoxifen pills (Nolvadex, Apo-Tamox, Tamofen, Tamone) Surgery 11/1/2017 Prophylactic ovary removal Hormonal Therapy 1/3/2018 Femara (letrozole)

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