Topic: STEAM ROOM FOR ANGER

Forum: Mental Health: Because Cancer Doesn't Just Affect Your Breasts — Meet and support others who are affected by these issues around anxiety, depression & other emotional effects.

Posted on: Jul 16, 2015 09:21AM - edited Aug 1, 2017 10:46PM by sas-schatzi

Posted on: Jul 16, 2015 09:21AM - edited Aug 1, 2017 10:46PM by sas-schatzi

sas-schatzi wrote:

This thread is meant to be for RANTS and RANTING. Then Rant again. We need a place to simply get rid of the anger. Write it here. Unleash it all. Get it out. This isn't meant for the Stupid comments(great thread). This is for the gut wrenching, tell them off anger.

IMPORTANT: When done ranting don't necessarily stick around. Toxic. Drop the rant and find a better thread.

Only rules: Please, follow them as the Mods will shut it down in a heartbeat( waving Mods)

1. Be careful to not mention docs, nurses, hospitals by name. Defamation and all that tedious legal stuff

2. If it's caused by someone on BCO, just don't mention their name. I think the exception will be if someone is stalking you, blow their anonymity wide open. A stalker doesn't deserve politeness.

3. If you think the rant is about you, let it go, they're no names. Don't take it personal. This is the steam room.

4. If they're is a fight, don't expect the Mods to moderate, it was your choice to come here.

5. After writing a rant, do nothing more, re-read at a future time. Decide if it's important enough for you to cut and paste the rant to whomever caused you the anger. It's a choice. Sometimes it needs to be done, but remember they're can be fall out.

6. ######## pound those keys, SCREAM(caps), J*&R$WSDF&(swear)

7. Religion and politics discussion should go to those topical threads. IF their is something that impacts cancer, it belongs here.

I will revise topic box as needed-sassy

For puking and the color works pukeewogh

Life's journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out shouting "holy crap....what a ride".
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Jul 23, 2015 08:50PM Beatmon wrote:


I need to release a little steam.....just read where a lady referred to breast cancer as a bump in the road! Lady, my whole da... Bridge washed out. Bump in the road my ass

Dx 7/27/2012, IDC, <1cm, Stage IA, Grade 3, 0/1 nodes, ER-/PR-, HER2+ Surgery 8/8/2012 Lymph node removal: Left, Sentinel; Mastectomy: Left, Right Surgery 11/30/2013 Reconstruction (left): Tissue expander placement; Reconstruction (right): Tissue expander placement Surgery 6/30/2014 Reconstruction (left); Reconstruction (right) Dx 8/9/2014, IDC, Both breasts, Stage IV, metastasized to lungs, Grade 3, ER-/PR-, HER2+ Targeted Therapy 8/26/2014 Herceptin (trastuzumab) Targeted Therapy 8/26/2014 Perjeta (pertuzumab) Chemotherapy 8/26/2014 Taxotere (docetaxel)
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Jul 23, 2015 10:13PM clarrn wrote:

yeah beatmom..... that one riles me up too!

30 years old at dx, Implant lost due to infection. Open wound packing for 108 days :( now onto a Free Tram Dx 12/4/2013, DCIS, 6cm+, Grade 3, ER+/PR+ Dx 1/29/2014, IDC, 1cm, Stage IIB, Grade 3, 1/3 nodes, ER+/PR+ Surgery 2/27/2014 Mastectomy: Right; Prophylactic mastectomy: Left; Reconstruction (left): Silicone implant, Tissue expander placement; Reconstruction (right): Tissue expander placement Chemotherapy 4/7/2014 AC + T (Taxol) Radiation Therapy 10/14/2014 Breast, Lymph nodes Surgery 2/26/2015 Reconstruction (right): Silicone implant Surgery 3/22/2015 Reconstruction (right): Silicone implant Surgery 8/23/2020 Reconstruction (left): Free TRAM flap; Reconstruction (right): Free TRAM flap
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Jul 24, 2015 04:44AM mostlymom wrote:

We have "good" insurance but since i was forced to quit my part-time 4-hr @day, 20-hr @week, because of fatigue after treatment, we no longer had our "fun money". With the further follow-up exams & cancer related doctor appts, we have exhausted our savings and we no longer answer the phone. The fatigue has slowly gotten worse and it is an effort to do the things I love. Being in limbo-land financially where we make "too much" to qualify for assistance, we are going down the shitter. We have 3 (yes 3) cars in the back yard that don't run - we have an old, smelly, dirty, EL Camino which DH loves. Our daughter, who has a bad back and is in the process of getting disability social security does the majority of the cooking, all of the shopping (contributing most of her food stamps), and the the majority of any house cleaning that gets done - she does the best she can & DH does the dishes & cleans the kitchen. We don't invite anyone over anymore because we're too ashamed of the cobwebs, dirty windows, etc. We, of course, don't qualify for food stamps.... Most of the time, I am on the edge of tears and so depressed (yes, I do take anti-depressants) it's hard to smile anymore. Plus, I'm so tired of my pity parties. The roof leaks, the house is falling apart - our dogs are aging and have needed expensive vet care - we will gladly pay our last dollar on their care because of the joy and love they bring us. We used the local food bank a few times but DD is too ashamed to go, I'm unable to, and we can't (or won't) ask DH to go. It's difficult to ask for help - even if there was any available. We did get a ramp built for me & they looked at our roof but it will be very expensive to repair & we haven't heard from them for months. They did whisper to DD that they would need the inside "cleaned" before they started work (if they could). I have had stuff sorted for about a year now for a garage sale - and again, that would take more work than any of us is capable of. So the "stuff" is cluttering up the closets and just taking up space. There are so many things I would like to do but I can't even fking walk or stand for any length of time.

whine, whine, whine SickTired I tried to re-read this but I can't get back to the beginning so I'll let it be - sorry....

tread gently.... Mammo & Ultrasound, 2-8-11. Needle Core Biopsy, 2-17-11. Lumpectomy 3-16-11. Completed 25 rads & 8 boosts Aug 5, 2011. Complete hysterectomy July 15, 2013. Dx 2/23/2011, IDC, <1cm, Stage IA, Grade 3, 0/2 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-
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Jul 24, 2015 05:34AM queenmomcat wrote:

Suzyblue: thank you for mentioning "the cancer bubble". Only a couple of months into the process for me, but trying to figure out why I get so upset after each oncology visit, despite getting unbad news for most of them. (Not gonna say "good news". Not gonna say anything that starts "At least/But")

Mostlymom: I validate your whine, or whatever the current woowoo term is. The "just think positive!" injunction gets up my nose THIS FAR.

Dx 5/27/2015, DCIS, Left, 1cm, Stage 0, Grade 2, ER+/PR+, HER2-, Surgery 7/6/2015 Lumpectomy: Left Radiation Therapy 8/31/2015 Whole breast: Breast Hormonal Therapy 11/1/2015 Tamoxifen pills (Nolvadex, Apo-Tamox, Tamofen, Tamone) Surgery 12/9/2015 Reconstruction (left)
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Jul 24, 2015 05:55AM sas-schatzi wrote:

Wow guys that could have been me on the bump thing. I tried to use it as an analogy for irony. Now I will have to find it and bring it here to be dissected. Not going to leave it where it was, if the irony doesn't glare through.

Life's journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out shouting "holy crap....what a ride".
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Jul 24, 2015 06:08AM - edited Jul 24, 2015 06:32AM by sas-schatzi

  

Is this the post you were referring too. Okay dissect it. The intent was to help ( member name deleted) try to make sense of her LiFruemnie(sic). My gene isn't dx'd, but it's a bad one. If this post is pissing people off, I will delete it. It may have missed the irony mark. Or if you read the whole thing it works. Either way, is this it?   I guess I could have mentioned the 'other stuff', frankly it doesn't read well. Brain tumor & ectomy, thyroid cancer& ectomy, multiple bladder stones, husbands death, complications from all kinds of things, RAI131 that caused a 1 1/2 years of bottom problems likey permanent. I remember now the first post did have allot of the bad stuff in. I deleted it and put this post in it's place. I was shooting to get her passed the beginning to the point,  she see's it's doable. Versus crawling into a hole. Didn't want her to look at the stuff at the time. Would have freaked me out on the flip side.

Jun 24, 2015 12:52PM , edited Jun 24, 2015 03:44PM by sas-schatzi


(member name deleted), I did have a long post to you last night. About 2 hours later, I realized it might not be good. I put it in storage. I don't have a definitive gene to blame for all the stuff that's happened. But I do know there is a bad one. Reading about what those genes can cause, can make you crazy.

Think of a straight line. At the zero point would be no cancer. At the 180 degree point would be death. You've had one cancer. You are bumped up the line. I'm a total of 4 bumps up the line, but still kicking and happy. Of course, I wish it wasn't happening. The worst was the BC, I was extremely lucky with that one. The other stuff was caught early. All the systems are being survielled. I just keep working the problem.

I do know how to work the system which has helped immensely. They're has been times when I've gone to a knew specialist, I just tell them we are doing such and such. I learned long ago that docs rarely take the time to read back in the history. They deal with their body part, disease, or system  with the present problem. They have 15 minutes. Can't be fixed in 15 minutes, the problem can get lost. I push them for a plan and do the follow-ups. If it leads to another specialist, then I research what needs to be done. If they don't suggest what the research suggests, I push until I get them to order it OR I'm happy with why they believe it should be different.  Not happy with them, I get a new doc. For the stuff that has happened to me, I'm alive b/c I've been my own advocate and organizer.

So, tell me  do you want to see the other post? Okay if you don't. My first bump on the sameday, I was told I had a brain tumor, BC, and lost my career in the space of < 4hours. Bad bump day. I think I got drunk that night, forget. That's kind of the point. It's so long ago I forget. Still on the same line, moved up the line, but happy to be here and enjoying life :)

 


Life's journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out shouting "holy crap....what a ride".
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Jul 24, 2015 11:22AM clarrn wrote:

Nope sas, Personally I wasn't thinking of your post. Just all those people that say, "Don't worry it's just a bump in the road, you'll be back to yourself in no time!" When they haven't been there, or if they have they didn't go through half of the treatments/complications, or have a tiny 3/4 inch scar and think we had the same thing,or didn't have their fertility snatched away at 30 when you weren't done having a family, etc. Because this 'bump' has put me off course permanently, I don't get to go back on the same trajectory ever (even though YES I am super grateful I continue on at all).

30 years old at dx, Implant lost due to infection. Open wound packing for 108 days :( now onto a Free Tram Dx 12/4/2013, DCIS, 6cm+, Grade 3, ER+/PR+ Dx 1/29/2014, IDC, 1cm, Stage IIB, Grade 3, 1/3 nodes, ER+/PR+ Surgery 2/27/2014 Mastectomy: Right; Prophylactic mastectomy: Left; Reconstruction (left): Silicone implant, Tissue expander placement; Reconstruction (right): Tissue expander placement Chemotherapy 4/7/2014 AC + T (Taxol) Radiation Therapy 10/14/2014 Breast, Lymph nodes Surgery 2/26/2015 Reconstruction (right): Silicone implant Surgery 3/22/2015 Reconstruction (right): Silicone implant Surgery 8/23/2020 Reconstruction (left): Free TRAM flap; Reconstruction (right): Free TRAM flap
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Jul 24, 2015 12:27PM sas-schatzi wrote:

Okay Clarm, I'll wait for Beatmom to respond.  

I have made a decision to delete. The message was for a specific member with a special reason I used all the language I did.

Life's journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out shouting "holy crap....what a ride".
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Jul 24, 2015 01:28PM SelenaWolf wrote:

Isn't it amazing the number of people that come out of the woodwork to tell you " ... you should [this] ..." or " ... you should [that] ..." or (my personal favourite) " ... you should stay positive or it will come back ..."

Seriously?!?

Shut the f*ck up.

"... good girls never made history ..."
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Jul 24, 2015 01:59PM sas-schatzi wrote:

I hate the positive crap. Especially when the teller is sanctimonious

Life's journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out shouting "holy crap....what a ride".

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