Join Us

We are 225,028 members in 83 forums discussing 163,849 topics.

Help with Abbreviations

Topic: I'm not on a "journey" and I'm not a "warrior." Who is with me?

Forum: Mental Health: Because Cancer Doesn't Just Affect Your Breasts —

Meet and support others who are affected by these issues around anxiety, depression & other emotional effects.

Posted on: Dec 7, 2020 10:49AM

MochiPie wrote:

No offense to those of you who see this as such, but I do not. I feel like that symbolism is tantamount to a quest for enlightenment and that is bullshit. It's hard not to bristle when people without this diagnosis assume that's who I am now. I was never that kind of person before, and I don't see myself becoming that kind of person in the future. I'm not sure if mental health is the right place to put this, but the way I see my diagnosis and treatment versus the way most other people categorize it makes me feel as if I'm the odd one out.

My take is that I have a disease that is being treated, not fought. I received tests and a diagnosis that stressed me out more than I thought anything could, rocked me to my core, and brought an immediate pivot to my perspective and priorities. I suspect that by the time I am finished with treatment, it will change me more, possibly permanently, possibly not. It's definitely transformative, physically and mentally, no doubt about it.

Can this be a safe space to bitch about that touchy feely stuff?

Dx 11/3/2020, IDC, Right, <1cm, Stage IA, Grade 3, 0/2 nodes, ER-/PR-, HER2+ (IHC) Surgery 11/11/2020 Lumpectomy: Right Chemotherapy 12/8/2020 Taxol (paclitaxel) Targeted Therapy 12/8/2020 Herceptin (trastuzumab) Radiation Therapy 3/22/2021 Whole-breast: Breast
Log in to post a reply

Page 4 of 18 (519 results)

Posts 91 - 120 (519 total)

Log in to post a reply

Dec 28, 2020 04:08PM Astrid wrote:

illimae, loved it!!!!

well, I get the sentiment of the thread, I really do, but nah. Can't agree with it.


I am definitely a warrior with enduring spirit.

Happy

Not a survivor...no way.

I am a THRIVER.

I get back up, I grow and change...I overcome.

I do that. It's not something that happens to me.

It's not passive.

First of all I have to make a tiny decision


Tiny...but momentous.

Do I want to live?

Do I want to stick around?

Or am I secretly tired of life and happy for my ticket out.

If I want to live, and live fully then I need to decide what I believe in.

Do I trust that these medical folks have my back?

Do I trust their years of training against me going it alone and trusting natural therapies some say have worked?

A friend wanted to live, but she chose plan B and did not make it.

I researched and actively put my trust in medical teams. I did that. It wasn't passive.

It was a courageous decision because it was harder to choose chemo and rads than not. Knowing there may be side effects later is not easy. You need to know why you want to live and live well.

That is an active decision. Especially when life has not been easy.

Then there are the possible side effects of surgery. Like lymphedema. I have that.

So when cancer came back, and I was tired and sick of putting on sleeves and the swelling and the aches and pain from surgeries and reco and on and on...

I asked myself again. Do you want to live and why? What is your purpose here on earth?

I answered my secret answers and said a big YES to rads again. To surgery again. To tablets again.

I did that. I chose.

I am courageous

I am indeed a warrior.

Not a survivor

I THRIVE.

Heartastrid.



"You cannot step into the same river twice, for other waters are continually flowing on." Heraclitus Dx 6/2002, IDC, Both breasts, 1cm, Stage IIB, Grade 2, 1/7 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- (FISH) Dx 7/2003, IDC, Left, 1cm, Stage IIB, Grade 2, ER+/PR+, HER2- (FISH) Dx 6/2012, ILC, Right, 1cm, Stage IIB, Grade 2, ER+/PR-, HER2- (IHC) Surgery Lymph node removal: Left, Right, Underarm/Axillary; Mastectomy: Left, Right Chemotherapy AC Radiation Therapy Whole-breast: Breast, Chest wall
Log in to post a reply

Dec 29, 2020 05:25PM marlegal wrote:

This has always been a pet peeve of mine too! I also hate the word survivor for the record. When I'd hear "Keep on fighting" when I was doing chemo, I wanted to slap them! I'd get so angry, and no one would understand what I was trying to convey. I felt an odd sympathy for people with heart disease, who have to deal with something their entire life. No disrespect to those with Stage 3 or 4 cancer who deal with it every day also. I was Stage 2 and felt like an impostor when people congratulated me for winning the fight or surviving or phrases like that. Bleh!

"We are all just walking each other home." Dx 8/24/2005, IDC, Right, 2cm, Stage IIB, 1/13 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- (FISH)
Log in to post a reply

Dec 29, 2020 07:19PM Beesie wrote:

Astrid, I get the sentiment of what you are saying, but nope, can't agree with it.

I expect that I would say "yes" to all the questions that you said "yes" to, but that doesn't make me a warrior. It makes me a human being, who like most human beings values life and isn't ready to leave this earth. Nothing more than that. For me, choosing a treatment that I don't want doesn't make me courageous, it just means that I weighed two bad options and picked the one that hopefully helps me survive, vs. the other option that puts my life at greater risk. Both of those options come with the risk of unpleasant side effects so I don't see one as being more courageous than the other. When I read what you wrote, I think about all the people who have through this site and who have wanted to live just as much as you and I, and who have made all those hard decisions to accept treatments with horrible side effects... and yet they didn't survive. They did everything right, and yet they didn't thrive, through no fault of their own.

I'm lucky. I've had a relatively easy time with breast cancer (so far at least, and hopefully for good, knock on wood). But I've had other experiences in my life that have been more difficult and that have challenged me more - and yet no one considers me a survivor (or any other Rah! Rah! word) for having gotten through those times. What's so special about what we face with breast cancer? Yes, it's scary and treatments can be horrible, and the experience can be life altering. But that is equally true of many other life events. Of course, even with a 'good' diagnosis, breast cancer forces many of us to face our own mortality for the first time, and that may change our perspective on life. But consider that 1 in every 2 men and 1 in every 3 women will develop cancer during their lifetime. So isn't this just a part of life? I'm not courageous, I'm not a warrior, I'm not on a journey, I'm just human, dealing as best I can with what life has put in my path, just like every other human.

I'm happy for those who are happy to see themselves as warriors. But that's just not how I see it and it irks me that others would put that label (or the "survivor" label) on me, just for going through something that I have been delighted to pass on and never experience.



Dx 9/15/2005 Right, 7cm+, DCIS-Mi, Stage IA, Gr 3, 0/3 nodes, ER+/PR- ** Dx 01/16/2019 Left, 8mm, IDC, Stage IA, Gr 2, 0/3 nodes, ER+/PR-, HER2- (FISH) ** Surgery 11/30/2005 MX Right, 03/06/2019 MX Left ** Hormonal Therapy 05/2019 Letrozole
Log in to post a reply

Dec 29, 2020 07:31PM EastcoastDaisy wrote:

Wow- thank you for this. I have not posted before, but am very happy to know I am not alone in some of these thoughts. I was diagnosed in Oct 2019, and everywhere I looked were references to bc and pink ribbons- as if it already wasn’t completely engulfing my mind. We were even encouraged to wear pink ribbons at work. I think the pink ribbons really minimize the seriousness of the disease in many people’s minds. And the whole survivor/fighting/beating terminology drives me crazy. I could never imagine saying that I am a bc survivor, because as we all know, who knows what may lie ahead. Maybe I’m just superstitious! I do feel very grateful that my ILC was found during a routine mammogram, even though I have dense breasts.

DX 10/19, age 62, ILC, left 1.2 cm, ER+ PR+ HER2-, node negative, 12/19 lumpectomy and sent node, oncotype dx 20, 2/20 whole breast radiation, now taking AI for 7 years.

Log in to post a reply

Dec 29, 2020 10:23PM - edited Dec 29, 2020 10:24PM by Astrid

thanks Beesie.

I love what you wrote. I have only just discovered courage in myself. I would never label anyone a warrior or surviver or thriver.

Just posting my personal slant.

What we go through personally does not denigrate or take away from others with different experiences. If I feel courageous and that I am thriving, it does not imply that others are not....these are my personal feelings relating to my life at this time. I can say I am thriving and drop off the perch tomorrow. It isn't related to time, but to quality of life. Even if I am bed ridden and in pain, I can still thrive with my inner life and if I don't thrive at some stage, that is ok too!

The point I made about myself was where I faced deep in myself if I really wanted to still live..or would use cancer dx as a ticket out. For me facing and acknowledging deep dark fears WAS courageous. The cancer exerience helped take me to that place where I had to face giving a big YES to life, or just going through the motions.

That's my p.o.v. I do believe I am on a very deep journey and cancer opened a gate for me. I don't find those words or expressions anathema but this thread is for those who do, so I shall clear off now.Smile

...

"You cannot step into the same river twice, for other waters are continually flowing on." Heraclitus Dx 6/2002, IDC, Both breasts, 1cm, Stage IIB, Grade 2, 1/7 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- (FISH) Dx 7/2003, IDC, Left, 1cm, Stage IIB, Grade 2, ER+/PR+, HER2- (FISH) Dx 6/2012, ILC, Right, 1cm, Stage IIB, Grade 2, ER+/PR-, HER2- (IHC) Surgery Lymph node removal: Left, Right, Underarm/Axillary; Mastectomy: Left, Right Chemotherapy AC Radiation Therapy Whole-breast: Breast, Chest wall
Log in to post a reply

Dec 29, 2020 11:08PM Traveltext wrote:

after two cancers and two strokes I could probably say I’m a survivor. And I could rightly claim to be a warrior who’s been on a journey! But I feel I’m none of these because I’m not interested in reviving all the crap I’ve been through. Rather, I’ve been using my experiences to guide others recovering from their situations. In a way I’ve been outsourcing my fears of further medical dramas by using my knowledge and skills to understand that there’s a way through the mental and physical trauma we all experience.

In the past year I’ve lost three dear friends who were part of my cohort of patients. Rob Fincher, Chiara D’Agostino and Paula Gaubert. Nothing I said or did made a difference ro their outcomes at the end of the day. Poor job satisfaction, you’d say. But no, I’m all the stronger for knowing these special people. They gave me so much more than friendship. And I’m in awe of those here like Beesie who have tirelessly trawled the boards at BCO dispensing sage advice, good cheer and hope. I’ve mostly moved on to Twitter and Facebook where I’m very active in the breast cancer spaces, mostly on male breast cancer, but also supporting all patients who post. Over the years I’ve gained a lot of contacts, very many in the medical professions, and continue to support mymany breast cancer pals.

All of us here, and on social media, have a lot to offer, and each of us are doing the best we can. The fellowship and camaraderie we enjoy, and the strengths we’ve gained are surely enough of a reward that goes beyond cliched descriptions.


NED breast and prostate cancer. More on Male BC

Dx 03/14, IBC, Lgth. 2cm, Stge IIIB, Gde 2B, ER+/PR+, HER2- ; FEC x3, Taxol x3; Mx & 2/23 nodes; Rads x 33; now on tamoxofin.

Log in to post a reply

Dec 30, 2020 01:45AM AliceBastable wrote:

As far as the pink ribbons and other crap goes, does it mean that breast cancer comes gift-wrapped? Can we find the cosmic gift exchange and return it?

I think the whole ribbon thing is stupid anyway. I'd need an effing charm bracelet if I wanted to go that route. I see people on the kidney cancer forum getting tattoos of orange (I think) ribbons and wonder who the hell wants another souvenir, aren't the scars enough? I actually looked up ribbon charts and depending on which chart you find, the different colors mean different things. The red ribbon, for instance, represents:

  • Addiction
  • Adult Onset Still's Disease (AOSD)
  • AIDS
  • Alcohol Dependence
  • Apert Syndrome
  • Bleeding Disorders
  • Blood Cancer
  • Blood Clotting Disorders
  • Bronchiolitis Obliterans
  • Burn Victims
  • Cardiomyopathy
  • Cardiovascular Disease
  • Cavernous Angioma
  • Clotting Factor Deficiencies
  • Complex Regional Pain Syndrome
  • Congenital Heart Defects
  • Congenital Heart Disease
  • Congenital Heart Failure
  • Congestive Heart Failure
  • Courage and Inspiration
  • DARE – Red Ribbon Week
  • Diamond-Blackfan Anemia
  • Disaster Relief
  • Distracted Driving
  • Driving Under the Influence Prevention
  • Drug Addiction
  • Epidermolysis Bullosa
  • Erythromelalgia
  • Evans Syndrome
  • Factor XI Deficiency
  • Fanconi Anemia
  • Female Genital Mutilation
  • Giant Cell Arteritis
  • Granulomatosis with Polyangiitis (GPA)
  • Heart Defects
  • Heart Disease
  • Hemolytic Anemia
  • Hemophilia
  • High Blood Pressure
  • HIV/AIDS
  • Huffing
  • Human Trafficking – #REDSANDPROJECT
  • Hypertension
  • Long Q-T Syndrome
  • MADD – Designate a Driver
  • Marfan Syndrome
  • Mothers Against Drunk Driving
  • Platelet Donation
  • Poland Syndrome
  • Prinzmetal Angina
  • Red Ribbon Week
  • Sickle Cell Anemia
  • Sinus Tachycardia
  • Stroke
  • Substance Abuse
  • Support Our Troops
  • Thrombotic Thrombocytopenic Purpura (TTP)
  • Trafficking in Persons – Red Sand Project
  • Tuberculosis
  • Vasculitis
  • Von Willebrand Disease (VWD)
  • Wegener's Granulomatosis
  • Women's Heart Health
  • Zika Virus

So, do ribbons-to-wear come with billboards, or a booklet, or an app, or instructions for playing disease/cause twenty questions to determine if the wearer has blood cancer or vasculitis or huffing (for? against?) or disaster relief (presumably for?) or hemophilia (should they even be wearing a pin with a sharp pointy component?)? Is there a ribbon for ribbon fatigue?

Good grief.

Endometrial cancer 2010, basal cell multiples, breast cancer 2018, kidney cancer 2018. Boring. Hope it stays that way. Dx 5/2018, ILC, Left, 2cm, Stage IA, Grade 1, 1/1 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 7/10/2018 Lumpectomy: Left; Lymph node removal: Sentinel Surgery 8/7/2018 Radiation Therapy 10/28/2018 Whole-breast: Breast, Lymph nodes
Log in to post a reply

Dec 30, 2020 09:56AM moth wrote:

re - the ribbons. Taking aside the ribbon on merchandise crap (& especially the commercialization of breast cancer), when a person chooses to wear a ribbon, it's often because the act helps them focus on something that's important to them. Or helps them remember. People often say they're worried they'll forget the ones who have died. Whether a ta tattoo or a pinned on one, or the choice to wear a given shirt on a specific day, it can be a moment of commemoration for someone. They know the meaning, they know what it stands for.

Sometimes people do it for advocacy so I guess they're hoping the ribbon will open conversation but it could just as well be something for them. Like a necklace or a bracelet or a black armband - it's their personal sorrow or experience they're choosing to honor in that moment.

I take weekends off

Initial dx at 50. Seriously?? “Sometimes the future changes quickly and completely and we’re left with only the choice of what to do next." blog: Never Tell Me the Odds

Dx 12/2017, IDC, Left, 1cm, Stage IA, Grade 3, 0/5 nodes, ER-/PR-, HER2- (IHC) Surgery 12/12/2017 Lumpectomy: Left; Lymph node removal: Sentinel Chemotherapy 2/14/2018 AC + T (Taxol) Radiation Therapy 8/13/2018 Whole-breast: Breast Dx 2/2020, IDC, Stage IV, metastasized to liver/lungs, Grade 3, ER-/PR-, HER2- Chemotherapy 3/18/2020 Taxol (paclitaxel) Immunotherapy 3/19/2020 Tecentriq (atezolizumab) Chemotherapy 11/26/2020 Abraxane (albumin-bound or nab-paclitaxel) Dx 12/9/2020, IDC, Right, Stage IV, metastasized to lungs, Grade 3, ER+/PR-, HER2- (IHC) Radiation Therapy 12/9/2020 External Hormonal Therapy 12/16/2020 Femara (letrozole) Dx 1/28/2021, IDC, Left, Stage IV, metastasized to bone Radiation Therapy 3/3/2021 External: Bone
Log in to post a reply

Dec 30, 2020 10:05AM moth wrote:

If there's one word that bugs me more than warrior & survivor it's thriver. Oh man, that seems so loaded. Now I can't just frigging survive. Oh no. that's not enough. Work harder. Do more. Fix your attitude. Repair your mental health. Calm your mind. Be at peace. so you can *thrive*!

Oh please, no.

I'm always team "if you showed up, you're absolutely rocking this thing" Just show up. Try to keep showing up, however you can. Angry, lazy, cranky & haven't showered? You're doing great.

Also, some of us don't get the choice of whether to live.

And cancer is our ticket out not because we choose to hand it in but it's because it's the only ticket we have in our hands and that damned conductor is coming down the aisle soon and there's nothing else to do except hand that one in. (er, I guess it turns out I am on some journey? An idyllic train journey.... with a murderer....)

moth - setting the bar low: just show up :D

I take weekends off

Initial dx at 50. Seriously?? “Sometimes the future changes quickly and completely and we’re left with only the choice of what to do next." blog: Never Tell Me the Odds

Dx 12/2017, IDC, Left, 1cm, Stage IA, Grade 3, 0/5 nodes, ER-/PR-, HER2- (IHC) Surgery 12/12/2017 Lumpectomy: Left; Lymph node removal: Sentinel Chemotherapy 2/14/2018 AC + T (Taxol) Radiation Therapy 8/13/2018 Whole-breast: Breast Dx 2/2020, IDC, Stage IV, metastasized to liver/lungs, Grade 3, ER-/PR-, HER2- Chemotherapy 3/18/2020 Taxol (paclitaxel) Immunotherapy 3/19/2020 Tecentriq (atezolizumab) Chemotherapy 11/26/2020 Abraxane (albumin-bound or nab-paclitaxel) Dx 12/9/2020, IDC, Right, Stage IV, metastasized to lungs, Grade 3, ER+/PR-, HER2- (IHC) Radiation Therapy 12/9/2020 External Hormonal Therapy 12/16/2020 Femara (letrozole) Dx 1/28/2021, IDC, Left, Stage IV, metastasized to bone Radiation Therapy 3/3/2021 External: Bone
Log in to post a reply

Dec 30, 2020 10:22AM MountainMia wrote:

moth, I can't agree with you more. Just keep showing up. That's your job. That's my job. Some days that is all we can do, and other days we have more available. Yeah, I'll admit, "thrive" is a word that grates on me, too.

The rain comes and the rain goes, but the mountain remains. I am the mountain.
Log in to post a reply

Dec 30, 2020 10:42AM Beesie wrote:

moth, I appreciate your perspective on the ribbons. I'll have to remember that next time I scowl at a ribbon, although come to think of it, I only scowl at pink ribbons, mostly because they are ubiquitous. I understand that for less prominent ribbons, the person who is displaying or wearing the ribbon likely has a connection to and commitment to whatever the ribbon represents. With pink ribbons, too often they are displayed to "support the cause" with no thought behind it, no actual support going to breast cancer causes, and no skin in the game (literally or figuratively).

To your second post, maybe we should replace the pink ribbon with this. Note the tiny bit of pink just so that it's clear that it's breast cancer we're talking about.


Nah, we couldn't get away with it. But I certainly agree with the message.

Traveltext, thank you!


Dx 9/15/2005 Right, 7cm+, DCIS-Mi, Stage IA, Gr 3, 0/3 nodes, ER+/PR- ** Dx 01/16/2019 Left, 8mm, IDC, Stage IA, Gr 2, 0/3 nodes, ER+/PR-, HER2- (FISH) ** Surgery 11/30/2005 MX Right, 03/06/2019 MX Left ** Hormonal Therapy 05/2019 Letrozole
Log in to post a reply

Dec 30, 2020 10:47AM AliceBastable wrote:

"Thrive" is just more of that fakety-fake-fake-fake positivity inflicted on patients. If someone WANTS to be positive about anything, for themself, that's fine, but to have it as an expectation for others? Hell no.

For my friend in hospice, I say she's enduring. That's it, and all it has been for some time leading up to her BRAVE decision to stop being a medical guinea pig.

Endometrial cancer 2010, basal cell multiples, breast cancer 2018, kidney cancer 2018. Boring. Hope it stays that way. Dx 5/2018, ILC, Left, 2cm, Stage IA, Grade 1, 1/1 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 7/10/2018 Lumpectomy: Left; Lymph node removal: Sentinel Surgery 8/7/2018 Radiation Therapy 10/28/2018 Whole-breast: Breast, Lymph nodes
Log in to post a reply

Dec 30, 2020 11:30AM moth wrote:

Beesie, ok, what if we nationalized nike and take the $16 billion in gross global profit in 2020 & put all of it to cancer research...then we get the logo and the $. win/win

I take weekends off

Initial dx at 50. Seriously?? “Sometimes the future changes quickly and completely and we’re left with only the choice of what to do next." blog: Never Tell Me the Odds

Dx 12/2017, IDC, Left, 1cm, Stage IA, Grade 3, 0/5 nodes, ER-/PR-, HER2- (IHC) Surgery 12/12/2017 Lumpectomy: Left; Lymph node removal: Sentinel Chemotherapy 2/14/2018 AC + T (Taxol) Radiation Therapy 8/13/2018 Whole-breast: Breast Dx 2/2020, IDC, Stage IV, metastasized to liver/lungs, Grade 3, ER-/PR-, HER2- Chemotherapy 3/18/2020 Taxol (paclitaxel) Immunotherapy 3/19/2020 Tecentriq (atezolizumab) Chemotherapy 11/26/2020 Abraxane (albumin-bound or nab-paclitaxel) Dx 12/9/2020, IDC, Right, Stage IV, metastasized to lungs, Grade 3, ER+/PR-, HER2- (IHC) Radiation Therapy 12/9/2020 External Hormonal Therapy 12/16/2020 Femara (letrozole) Dx 1/28/2021, IDC, Left, Stage IV, metastasized to bone Radiation Therapy 3/3/2021 External: Bone
Log in to post a reply

Dec 30, 2020 11:39AM Beesie wrote:

moth, that works for me.

Dx 9/15/2005 Right, 7cm+, DCIS-Mi, Stage IA, Gr 3, 0/3 nodes, ER+/PR- ** Dx 01/16/2019 Left, 8mm, IDC, Stage IA, Gr 2, 0/3 nodes, ER+/PR-, HER2- (FISH) ** Surgery 11/30/2005 MX Right, 03/06/2019 MX Left ** Hormonal Therapy 05/2019 Letrozole
Log in to post a reply

Dec 30, 2020 12:33PM GG27 wrote:

My wise old GP told me when I was first diagnosed that my only job is to show up & no matter how hard it is to try to eat.

I too hate survivor, thriver, warrior, any of these words that somehow make it seem like any of these will make any difference. And someone said to me just today to just have a positive attitude.... that it makes all the difference.


Dx 10/2008, IDC, Both breasts, 3cm, Stage IIB, Grade 2, 3/9 nodes, mets, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 1/8/2009 Lymph node removal; Mastectomy: Left, Right Chemotherapy 2/1/2009 Other Radiation Therapy 7/5/2009 Whole-breast: Breast, Lymph nodes Dx 5/14/2014, IDC, Both breasts, Stage IV, metastasized to bone/liver/other, 9/20 nodes, mets, ER+/PR+, HER2- Chemotherapy Abraxane (albumin-bound or nab-paclitaxel)
Log in to post a reply

Dec 30, 2020 12:49PM Micmel wrote:

right alongside you Moth.

Everyone has to dance, they just don’t know what song they will get. Dx 1/22/2016, IDC, Left, 4cm, Stage IV, metastasized to bone, Grade 2, 13/35 nodes, ER+/PR-, HER2- Chemotherapy 2/10/2016 AC Surgery 6/21/2016 Lymph node removal: Left, Underarm/Axillary; Mastectomy: Left Chemotherapy 7/20/2016 Abraxane (albumin-bound or nab-paclitaxel) Targeted Therapy 11/7/2016 Ibrance (palbociclib) Surgery Chemotherapy Chemotherapy Hormonal Therapy Arimidex (anastrozole)
Log in to post a reply

Dec 30, 2020 12:53PM AliceBastable wrote:

My beef with the ribbons (besides the obvious PINK ickiness) is that, as the list I posted shows, they're used for so many diseases and causes that it's lost all meaning in general. I guess I can see the point Moth made, although I'm still trying to wrap my head around needing a talisman to remember a someone who died. I'd rather have something that person enjoyed, or that represents what they enjoyed, than a reminder of the disease they had. But that could be my own personal hangup.

Endometrial cancer 2010, basal cell multiples, breast cancer 2018, kidney cancer 2018. Boring. Hope it stays that way. Dx 5/2018, ILC, Left, 2cm, Stage IA, Grade 1, 1/1 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 7/10/2018 Lumpectomy: Left; Lymph node removal: Sentinel Surgery 8/7/2018 Radiation Therapy 10/28/2018 Whole-breast: Breast, Lymph nodes
Log in to post a reply

Dec 30, 2020 02:56PM MinusTwo wrote:

Traveltext - so glad you are still checking in here. I don't do Twitter & Facebook but I surely do appreciate your wisdom & support on the BCO threads.

Astrid - I'm sure it sounds like we're all piling on, but I don't think that's the case. Every one of us has to come to terms with this disease (or others that rear their ugly heads) along the way. I am personally offended by the terms warrior & survivor & thriver - but if it works for you - go for it.

2/15/11 BMX-DCIS 2SNB clear-TEs; 9/15/11-410gummies; 3/20/13 recurrance-5.5cm,mets to lymphs, Stage IIIB IDC ER/PRneg,HER2+; TCH/Perjeta/Neulasta x6; ALND 9/24/13 1/18 nodes 4.5cm; AC chemo 10/30/13 x3; herceptin again; Rads Feb2014
Log in to post a reply

Dec 30, 2020 02:59PM MountainMia wrote:

One adjective I really appreciate is "strong." You don't have to be doing it "right," or be "winning," or be a "warrior" to be strong. When people say I am strong, to me that is a compliment.

The rain comes and the rain goes, but the mountain remains. I am the mountain.
Log in to post a reply

Dec 30, 2020 03:05PM MinusTwo wrote:

Mountain Mia - ABSOLUTELY - you bet your ass I'm strong!!! Not particularly a comfort to take to bed at nights, but still... And my journey of choice will be to the South Pacific when we can travel again. Cancer journeys are NOT fun or to be enjoyed.

2/15/11 BMX-DCIS 2SNB clear-TEs; 9/15/11-410gummies; 3/20/13 recurrance-5.5cm,mets to lymphs, Stage IIIB IDC ER/PRneg,HER2+; TCH/Perjeta/Neulasta x6; ALND 9/24/13 1/18 nodes 4.5cm; AC chemo 10/30/13 x3; herceptin again; Rads Feb2014
Log in to post a reply

Dec 30, 2020 03:54PM Astrid wrote:

thanks Minus Two.

I deserve everything I get for contributing in this thread. I came in peace, writing what I felt in response to posts. No need to justify further.

Moth, l love your posts they make me laugh.

Whatever works for us. Right?

I see you are for Pink ribbons moth and articulated your counter opinion well.

I tried to articulate why I disagree here, And that's about it. I have no doubt I 'll face many challenges ahead as sister death loves to get up and about in my face. I am determined to befriend her and ask myself what exactly it is I fear. Apart from leaving loved ones behind. Can I let go? Can I find peace? I hope so.

I don't know where I'd be without a strong inner life. I don't think I'm a flakey flake moth. It's just I've been working through unresolved anger and all those fully human emotions for a long long time. My peace and thriving is hard won. Not fluffy.

And Not pink! Well maybe a bit pink.Smile

vive le differences

"You cannot step into the same river twice, for other waters are continually flowing on." Heraclitus Dx 6/2002, IDC, Both breasts, 1cm, Stage IIB, Grade 2, 1/7 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- (FISH) Dx 7/2003, IDC, Left, 1cm, Stage IIB, Grade 2, ER+/PR+, HER2- (FISH) Dx 6/2012, ILC, Right, 1cm, Stage IIB, Grade 2, ER+/PR-, HER2- (IHC) Surgery Lymph node removal: Left, Right, Underarm/Axillary; Mastectomy: Left, Right Chemotherapy AC Radiation Therapy Whole-breast: Breast, Chest wall
Log in to post a reply

Dec 30, 2020 04:38PM MountainMia wrote:

Astrid, I appreciate your view and am glad you commented, even if I don't agree with you totally. If you are thriving, YAY YOU!! And I mean that most sincerely. I do think that what some of us bristle at is that people outside of the breast cancer experience have expectations of us. And frankly, they can be hard to live up to. They love us and WANT US to thrive, to be warriors, to fight like hell. But really we often feel like, man! what do you want from me? I can't be what you want. It's too much to ask.

So if you're a warrior or a thriver or a survivor, that's good. We just can't all feel that way.

The rain comes and the rain goes, but the mountain remains. I am the mountain.
Log in to post a reply

Dec 30, 2020 04:56PM Astrid wrote:

I totally get that Mountain Mia.

And thankyou!🌾


"You cannot step into the same river twice, for other waters are continually flowing on." Heraclitus Dx 6/2002, IDC, Both breasts, 1cm, Stage IIB, Grade 2, 1/7 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- (FISH) Dx 7/2003, IDC, Left, 1cm, Stage IIB, Grade 2, ER+/PR+, HER2- (FISH) Dx 6/2012, ILC, Right, 1cm, Stage IIB, Grade 2, ER+/PR-, HER2- (IHC) Surgery Lymph node removal: Left, Right, Underarm/Axillary; Mastectomy: Left, Right Chemotherapy AC Radiation Therapy Whole-breast: Breast, Chest wall
Log in to post a reply

Dec 30, 2020 05:01PM Sunshine99 wrote:

You all are the best! I love the discussions and even when we don't see eye to eye on everything, we're in "this" together - whatever we choose to call "this".

Carol

Cancer has progressed to my bones. I pray that it never enters my soul. Dx 11/2/2007, IDC, 3cm, Stage IIA, 0/3 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Dx 3/26/2020, ILC/IDC, Stage IV, metastasized to bone, ER+/PR-, HER2- (FISH) Hormonal Therapy 4/22/2020 Arimidex (anastrozole) Radiation Therapy 5/5/2020 External: Bone Radiation Therapy 5/12/2020 External: Bone Targeted Therapy 6/10/2020 Ibrance (palbociclib)
Log in to post a reply

Dec 30, 2020 05:03PM moth wrote:

Astrid, I wouldn't say I'm PRO pink ribbon. I have one of these on my car tho (etsy shop https://www.etsy.com/ca/shop/NXTLVLVINYL?ref=simpl... ) It's just that they don't bug me.


Fu Cancer Decals image 0

Someone I follow on social media - their baby just died of cancer. They have a ribbon on their profiles and banners to raise awareness of her type of disease & I get it. I mean, I think there's sometimes this sense of 'what can i do?' and maybe it's really pretty symbolic in the end but so much of our lives is symbols and superstitions so one more is not really bugging me. And I don't know the colors and I won't but if someone was wearing one I'd ask them to tell me about it.

I like my bumper sticker more tho. I park it in the cancer agency parking lot & do an angry laugh pretty much every time I see my car. I hope others do to.

I take weekends off

Initial dx at 50. Seriously?? “Sometimes the future changes quickly and completely and we’re left with only the choice of what to do next." blog: Never Tell Me the Odds

Dx 12/2017, IDC, Left, 1cm, Stage IA, Grade 3, 0/5 nodes, ER-/PR-, HER2- (IHC) Surgery 12/12/2017 Lumpectomy: Left; Lymph node removal: Sentinel Chemotherapy 2/14/2018 AC + T (Taxol) Radiation Therapy 8/13/2018 Whole-breast: Breast Dx 2/2020, IDC, Stage IV, metastasized to liver/lungs, Grade 3, ER-/PR-, HER2- Chemotherapy 3/18/2020 Taxol (paclitaxel) Immunotherapy 3/19/2020 Tecentriq (atezolizumab) Chemotherapy 11/26/2020 Abraxane (albumin-bound or nab-paclitaxel) Dx 12/9/2020, IDC, Right, Stage IV, metastasized to lungs, Grade 3, ER+/PR-, HER2- (IHC) Radiation Therapy 12/9/2020 External Hormonal Therapy 12/16/2020 Femara (letrozole) Dx 1/28/2021, IDC, Left, Stage IV, metastasized to bone Radiation Therapy 3/3/2021 External: Bone
Log in to post a reply

Dec 30, 2020 05:37PM Astrid wrote:

I have a hat with the same message.

A highly prized item.Happy

"You cannot step into the same river twice, for other waters are continually flowing on." Heraclitus Dx 6/2002, IDC, Both breasts, 1cm, Stage IIB, Grade 2, 1/7 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- (FISH) Dx 7/2003, IDC, Left, 1cm, Stage IIB, Grade 2, ER+/PR+, HER2- (FISH) Dx 6/2012, ILC, Right, 1cm, Stage IIB, Grade 2, ER+/PR-, HER2- (IHC) Surgery Lymph node removal: Left, Right, Underarm/Axillary; Mastectomy: Left, Right Chemotherapy AC Radiation Therapy Whole-breast: Breast, Chest wall
Log in to post a reply

Dec 31, 2020 12:38PM - edited Dec 31, 2020 12:43PM by micdpowers

Someone once told me I was "incredibly inspiring". Ugh. For me, I know they're just trying to say something nice, but the cliches just feel so forced and awkward and I don't know how to receive them without making a face.

Diagnosed at 45. ​Mother of three: 9, 11, 13. PALB2 Mutant. Dx 2/14/2020, IDC, Right, 2cm, Grade 3, 0/1 nodes, ER-/PR-, HER2+ (IHC) Chemotherapy 2/24/2020 Carboplatin (Paraplatin), Taxotere (docetaxel) Targeted Therapy 2/25/2020 Perjeta (pertuzumab) Targeted Therapy 2/25/2020 Herceptin (trastuzumab) Surgery 8/18/2020 Mastectomy: Right; Prophylactic mastectomy: Left; Reconstruction (left): Tissue expander placement; Reconstruction (right): Tissue expander placement Surgery 11/12/2020 Reconstruction (left): Fat grafting, Silicone implant; Reconstruction (right): Fat grafting, Silicone implant
Log in to post a reply

Dec 31, 2020 05:47PM Sadiesservant wrote:

Loving this thread. And have to say, I want to eviscerate people who tell people to be positive. Seriously? I’m positive BC is going to get me. The “when” is the key question.

I also don’t feel I am a warrior, survivor and definitely not a thriver (that one just irritates me). I’ve had a lot of friends and colleagues complement me on my can do attitude, carrying on despite the diagnosis. And my option would be??? I could be wrong but I don’t think spending my remaining days in the fetal position would be particularly helpful...

Dx 4/2001, IDC, Right, 1cm, Stage IIA, Grade 3, 1/10 nodes, ER+ Surgery 5/10/2001 Lumpectomy: Right; Lymph node removal: Right, Sentinel, Underarm/Axillary Chemotherapy 6/7/2001 CEF Radiation Therapy 12/17/2001 Whole-breast: Breast Hormonal Therapy 12/20/2001 Tamoxifen pills (Nolvadex, Apo-Tamox, Tamofen, Tamone) Hormonal Therapy 1/2/2007 Femara (letrozole) Hormonal Therapy 10/22/2007 Arimidex (anastrozole) Dx 1/3/2017, IDC, Right, Stage IV, metastasized to bone/lungs, ER+/PR+, HER2- Chemotherapy 1/27/2017 Taxol (paclitaxel) Hormonal Therapy 3/28/2017 Arimidex (anastrozole) Targeted Therapy 4/20/2017 Ibrance (palbociclib) Dx 10/12/2017, IDC, Right, Stage IV, metastasized to other Chemotherapy 10/20/2017 Xeloda (capecitabine) Radiation Therapy 11/15/2017 External: Bone Hormonal Therapy 1/18/2018 Faslodex (fulvestrant) Radiation Therapy 8/2/2018 External: Bone Radiation Therapy 11/5/2018 External: Bone Targeted Therapy 10/9/2019 Verzenio Radiation Therapy 11/3/2020 External: Bone Dx 1/22/2021, IDC, Right, 1cm, Stage IV, metastasized to liver, Grade 2, ER+/PR+, HER2- Chemotherapy 2/4/2021 Xeloda (capecitabine)
Log in to post a reply

Dec 31, 2020 11:57PM buttonsmachine wrote:

This is an interesting discussion. I certainly sympathize with much of what has been said here, although as a counterpoint I think a few people might be interested in reading a collection of writings titled On Illness and Healing.

There are a few different contributors, but the authors have dealt with what we have dealt with - cancer, life altering disability, illness, and living in the shadow of death - and how in living with these things, narrative and creativity can be transformative and transcendent. Narrative is how we make sense of our own stories, and become the heroines of our own stories. (The "warriors" on our "journeys" perhaps.)

Anyway, the authors explain it much more eloquently than I ever could, so here it is: On Illness and Healing

Diagnosed at 32. Local recurrences one year later, probably due to needle seeding at inital biopsy. Now dealing with MBC. Dx 8/2016, IDC, Right, Stage IA, Grade 3, 0/2 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 10/1/2016 Lumpectomy: Right; Lymph node removal: Sentinel Chemotherapy 10/31/2016 Cytoxan (cyclophosphamide), Taxotere (docetaxel) Radiation Therapy 1/31/2017 Whole-breast Hormonal Therapy 3/31/2017 Tamoxifen pills (Nolvadex, Apo-Tamox, Tamofen, Tamone) Dx 10/2017, IDC, Right, Grade 3, 2/12 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 11/1/2017 Lymph node removal; Mastectomy: Right Chemotherapy 11/30/2017 AC Surgery 3/31/2018 Lymph node removal; Mastectomy: Right Radiation Therapy 4/30/2018 External: Lymph nodes, Chest wall Chemotherapy 6/30/2018 Xeloda (capecitabine) Hormonal Therapy 7/30/2018 Zoladex (goserelin) Hormonal Therapy 2/1/2019 Aromasin (exemestane) Hormonal Therapy 9/30/2019 Faslodex (fulvestrant) Dx 8/2020, IDC, Stage IV, metastasized to bone/other, Grade 3, ER+/PR+, HER2- Targeted Therapy 8/30/2020 Ibrance (palbociclib) Dx 1/2021, IDC, Stage IV, metastasized to liver/lungs Chemotherapy 1/14/2021 Carboplatin (Paraplatin), Gemzar (gemcitabine)
Log in to post a reply

Jan 1, 2021 08:09AM AngieB92 wrote:

Thanks, buttonsmachine!!

Dx 8/8/2019, IDC, Left, 1cm, Stage IA, Grade 2, 0/6 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2+ (IHC) Targeted Therapy 9/17/2019 Perjeta (pertuzumab) Targeted Therapy 9/17/2019 Herceptin (trastuzumab) Surgery 3/3/2020 Mastectomy: Left, Right; Reconstruction (left): Tissue expander placement; Reconstruction (right): Tissue expander placement Targeted Therapy 4/10/2020 Kadcyla (T-DM1, ado-trastuzumab)

Page 4 of 18 (519 results)