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Topic: Positive Attitude Can Benefit Patients with Chronic Disease

Forum: Mental Health: Because Cancer Doesn't Just Affect Your Breasts — Meet and support others who are affected by these issues around anxiety, depression, and other emotional effects.

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Posted on: Aug 20, 2021 04:11PM - edited Aug 22, 2021 12:29PM by esther01

Posted on: Aug 20, 2021 04:11PM - edited Aug 22, 2021 12:29PM by esther01

esther01 wrote:

This Post was deleted by esther01.
Grateful to Jesus for saving my soul and carrying me through every valley Dx 12/2020, IDC, Stage IIB, ER+/PR+, HER2- Hormonal Therapy 1/10/2021 Surgery 6/10/2021 Radiation Therapy Whole breast: Lymph nodes
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Aug 21, 2021 11:13PM esther01 wrote:

So true!

GB, I'm still so sorry about losing your mom.

Thank you, Shetland. Telling me to change my attitude or I wouldn't do well felt like she was telling me with two broken legs to just get up and walk. I was never comfortable around her again. Every time I had to see her, I kept it as short as possible.

I ended up switching oncologists at the first possible moment after surgery. I love my new one. I wish I'd had him from the beginning.

Love,

Esther

Grateful to Jesus for saving my soul and carrying me through every valley Dx 12/2020, IDC, Stage IIB, ER+/PR+, HER2- Hormonal Therapy 1/10/2021 Surgery 6/10/2021 Radiation Therapy Whole breast: Lymph nodes
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Aug 21, 2021 11:55PM exbrnxgrl wrote:

Not directly related to the topic but Esther brings up something that I feel is very important for all bc patients. Find an mo you are very comfortable with and have confidence in. This is going to be a very important relationship and not quite feeling right about your mo will be stressful in and of itself! Please do not hesitate to change your mo if the fit is not right. My original mo was the head of the oncology department at the large medical facility I belong to. I’m sure he was knowledgeable but he seemed annoyed by my questions. That made it a bad fit. I’m a retired teacher and lifetime academic. I will always ask questions 😂.

Surgery 9/1/2011 Mastectomy (Left); Mastectomy (Right) Radiation Therapy 11/1/2011 Other part Hormonal Therapy 12/1/2011 Arimidex (anastrozole), Femara (letrozole), Aromasin (exemestane) Dx IDC, Left, 4cm, Stage IV, Grade 1, 1/15 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Dx DCIS/IDC, Left, 4cm, Grade 1, 1/15 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-
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Aug 22, 2021 12:11AM ShetlandPony wrote:

Esther, good for you, making that switch! I'm so glad you found your new oncologist.

2011 Stage I ITCs sn, premenopausal, Oncotype 16. 2014 Stage IV mets breast,liver. TaxolNEAD. Ibrance+letrozole 2yrs. Fas+afinitor nope. XelodaNEAD 2yrs. Eribulin,Doxil nope. SUMMIT FaslodexHerceptinNeratinib for Her2mut NEAD 1 1/2yrs. GI/perit mets Dx 2011, ILC, 1cm, Stage IA, Grade 1, 0/1 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Dx 2014, ILC, 2cm, Stage IV, metastasized to liver/other, Grade 2, ER+/PR+, HER2- Hormonal Therapy Tamoxifen pills (Nolvadex, Apo-Tamox, Tamofen, Tamone) Radiation Therapy Whole breast: Breast Surgery Lumpectomy
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Aug 22, 2021 12:26AM - edited Aug 22, 2021 12:28AM by nopink2019

This Post was deleted by nopink2019.
2008: Stage 1 ER+/ PR-/ HER2- (lumpectomy, ACT, rads +7 yrs AI) 2019: Stage 4 (lungs & liver). Treatment, then progression - Kisqali & fluvestrant (18 mos), Aromasin & Afinitor (6 mos), Xeloda (6 mos). Eribulin (6 mos). Start Enhertu 01/2023. Since 2020 Lexapro for depression & Ritalin for fatigue
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Aug 22, 2021 12:38AM serenitystat wrote:

Esther - Your reaction to your first MO where you felt bad when she told you to adopt a positive attitude is what many people feel when they read the title of your post.

I've never liked the phrase "positive attitude" or "positive thinking". I don't even like that my blood type is B+. It's a struggle. I just try to keep my head above water.


🌻 🇺🇦 BCO leaked our private data. 🤦🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️ . . . . . "Do not overlook the little joys!" (Hesse, 1905) 🐶Dx.11/2015.IDC.L.IIIC.10/11nodes.++- ☕️12/2015.L.Mast 🛀2/2016.4AC.12Taxol.fasted 🖼9/2016.Rads.Nodes.ChestWall.15+4boosts 🥐10/2016.Tamox(2.5y) 🌲4/2019.Exemestane 🎭12/2019.Ibrance/Xgeva 🕊
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Aug 22, 2021 07:33AM annabelle2 wrote:

The pressure to stay positive for the benefit of others while going through cancer treatment led my always-pleasant, always-sweet, always-faithful mother in law to have a stress-induced series of debilitating panic/anxiety attacks, the last one leading to a stroke on Thursday. I will be surprised if she makes it to the end of the week.

I'm sure you meant no harm, but posts like this are dangerous and insulting in this environment.

If you need some more perspective, here's some further reading:

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC71662...

https://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?stor...

https://rethinkbreastcancer.com/toxic-positivity-i...

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2010/jan/...

A positive attitude won't eliminate the giant hole in my breast that can't/won't be fixed, won't restore my relationship with my husband, won't changed the fact that my diagnosis was missed for 10 months, or the fact that my oncologist and BS lied to my face, or change the fact that I am stage 3c so I'm just sitting here waiting for the other shoe to drop.

I can usually scroll past sh!t like this, but this one's too much (or at least belongs in the Pleasant Positive Prayers Only Section).

Dx 2/9/2018, IDC, Left, 3cm, Stage IIIC, Grade 3, ER+/PR-, HER2- Chemotherapy 3/9/2018 AC + T (Taxol) Surgery 7/18/2018 Lumpectomy; Lumpectomy (Left) Radiation Therapy 8/15/2018 Whole breast: Breast, Lymph nodes, Chest wall Surgery 1/22/2019
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Aug 22, 2021 09:25AM melbo wrote:

I can usually find the silver linings in most situations, even cancer — in my case it was caught early and I have a type that responds really well to medication. But as soon as someone starts talking about keeping a positive attitude I start to feel stabby. I can’t imagine how much more angry I would be if I was stage iv or if my cancer hadn’t responded well to treatment. My attitude had zippo to do with any of it, I just got lucky when it came to the cancer wheel o chance.

Diagnosed right before my 42nd birthday. One husband, two dogs, one cat and no kids. Dx 7/16/2020, IDC, Left, 2cm, Stage IIA, Grade 3, 1/7 nodes, ER-/PR-, HER2+ Targeted Therapy 8/7/2020 Herceptin (trastuzumab) Targeted Therapy 8/7/2020 Perjeta (pertuzumab) Chemotherapy 8/7/2020 Carboplatin (Paraplatin), Taxotere (docetaxel) Surgery 12/20/2020 Lumpectomy; Lumpectomy (Left); Lymph node removal; Reconstruction (Left); Reconstruction (Right) Radiation Therapy 1/31/2021 Whole breast: Breast, Lymph nodes
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Aug 22, 2021 12:29PM esther01 wrote:

I agree, SerenityStat and Melbo, and appreciate you both.

Unfortunately, those weren't my words; that was the "exact title" of the article that precipitated my asking the question. Putting quotation marks around the study likely would not have helped.

I do not see a setting here for editing or removing threads. If you know of a way to do that, kindly let me know. I can, however, erase my original post as I do see that setting and would be happy to do so.

Thanks most of all to the amazing women who have been privately reaching out to me with such affirmation and encouragement. That meant the world to me, especially right now during radiation. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.


Esther

Grateful to Jesus for saving my soul and carrying me through every valley Dx 12/2020, IDC, Stage IIB, ER+/PR+, HER2- Hormonal Therapy 1/10/2021 Surgery 6/10/2021 Radiation Therapy Whole breast: Lymph nodes
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Aug 22, 2021 12:49PM exbrnxgrl wrote:

Esther,

If you want the entire thread removed you need to contact the mods. Only they have the ability to do that.

Surgery 9/1/2011 Mastectomy (Left); Mastectomy (Right) Radiation Therapy 11/1/2011 Other part Hormonal Therapy 12/1/2011 Arimidex (anastrozole), Femara (letrozole), Aromasin (exemestane) Dx IDC, Left, 4cm, Stage IV, Grade 1, 1/15 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Dx DCIS/IDC, Left, 4cm, Grade 1, 1/15 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-
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Aug 22, 2021 01:59PM ShetlandPony wrote:

Ugh, when someone deletes the original post instead of adding to it with an edit, we lose the context of the discussion that follows. Positive thinking and cancer is a topic worth discussing. As Esther saw, it can elicit strong feelings and opinions. I hope you did not take these personally, Esther, and I know you are new to this disease and in the thick of treatment, still trying to figure out what positivity is or ought to be for you.

2011 Stage I ITCs sn, premenopausal, Oncotype 16. 2014 Stage IV mets breast,liver. TaxolNEAD. Ibrance+letrozole 2yrs. Fas+afinitor nope. XelodaNEAD 2yrs. Eribulin,Doxil nope. SUMMIT FaslodexHerceptinNeratinib for Her2mut NEAD 1 1/2yrs. GI/perit mets Dx 2011, ILC, 1cm, Stage IA, Grade 1, 0/1 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Dx 2014, ILC, 2cm, Stage IV, metastasized to liver/other, Grade 2, ER+/PR+, HER2- Hormonal Therapy Tamoxifen pills (Nolvadex, Apo-Tamox, Tamofen, Tamone) Radiation Therapy Whole breast: Breast Surgery Lumpectomy

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