Topic: Information vs. reassurance

Forum: Mental Health: Because Cancer Doesn't Just Affect Your Breasts — Meet and support others who are affected by these issues around anxiety, depression & other emotional effects.

Posted on: Jan 31, 2022 11:23PM

Posted on: Jan 31, 2022 11:23PM

alicebastable wrote:

I've been a member since 2018 here and in a kidney cancer FB group, which is where I found this. In both groups, I've seen such a wide range of emotional reactions to cancer diagnoses and even just the possibility of cancer before any confirmation, everything from unquestioning acceptance to curiosity to mild nervousness to debilitating anxiety. I thought some members here might find this interesting, or possibly food for thought.

Mods, if you think this would be better in a different spot, feel free to move it.


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Feb 7, 2022 07:00PM beesie.is.out-of-office wrote:

Today's response from the Mods in the post below was also really helpful, because it directed the newbie well on how to participate on the board, and it set the stage for any of our responses that follow, hopefully in a new thread started by this husband. I've held off responding because I don't want to hijack someone else's thread with issues that may be quite different than those of the OP.

https://community.breastcancer.org/forum/5/topics/882176?page=1#post_5735407

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Feb 8, 2022 02:05PM sf-cakes wrote:

I've read through this thread with great interest, and then found myself asking my husband, when he brought up an issue last night that he's brought up many times before, "are you seeking information or are you seeking reassurance?" And he said, "oh, reassurance", so I gave him a hug. Thank you, AliceB! The benefits extend beyond this site!

This is some bullshit. Dx 6/2020, ILC, Left, 6cm+, Stage IIB, Grade 3, 2/4 nodes, ER+/PR-, HER2- Surgery 7/1/2020 Mastectomy; Mastectomy (Left) Chemotherapy 8/4/2020 Cytoxan (cyclophosphamide), Taxotere (docetaxel) Radiation Therapy 11/3/2020 Chest wall Dx 1/2021, ILC, Left, 6cm+, Stage IV, metastasized to bone, Grade 3, ER+/PR-, HER2- Radiation Therapy 2/10/2021 External Local Metastases 2/10/2021 Radiation therapy: Bone Hormonal Therapy Femara (letrozole) Targeted Therapy Ibrance (palbociclib)
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Feb 8, 2022 02:30PM alicebastable wrote:

SF-Cakes, Thank you! And your husband! When I posted the graphic, I had no idea it would lead to such an interesting and lively discussion. I love your point of carrying it over into places beyond this board. it's a question we can ask ourselves and others besides the members here.

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Feb 8, 2022 02:40PM wrenn wrote:

ThumbsUpHeart

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Feb 21, 2022 04:49PM kkubsky wrote:

Interesting chart. I am one of those very anxious people. Am I seeking reassurance? Yes. Am I seeking information? Yes. Do I want the truth? Yes. Do I desire a certain answer? Yes.

I have always appreciated the answers provided to me on this forum. Sometimes the answers can unsettle me more. Sometimes they provide me with peace. Sometimes "just the facts, Ma'am" are just what I need and sometimes knowing someone understands the fear and anxiety is enough. Sometimes I need a slap in the face and sometimes a pat on the back. I do not expect anyone on here to be my therapist or to solve my anxiety issues. And since all sorts of people with all sorts of experiences are part of this group, I expect different responses. Do I prefer some to others? Of course. Are some more helpful than others? Yes. But I think the importance of a group like this for me is to know that there are others in this same club that no one wanted to join. And there is a lot of helpful information here as well.

Please understand that no sane person would choose to have an anxiety disorder. It makes everything just that much more difficult. But even in the midst of reassurance seeking, there is also information seeking. Generally there is a rational mind that needs to hear the facts. Sometimes it just takes a little longer to get through the anxiety to reach it.

Dx 1/28/2016, DCIS, Left, 1cm, Stage 0, Grade 3, ER-/PR- Surgery 2/24/2016 Lumpectomy; Lumpectomy (Left) Radiation Therapy 3/21/2016 Whole breast: Breast Surgery 3/1/2022 Mastectomy (Left): Simple Dx DCIS, Left, Stage 0, Grade 2, ER-/PR-
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Feb 21, 2022 05:55PM alicebastable wrote:

Kkubsky, Thank you for that perspective.

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Mar 26, 2022 03:51PM angelia50 wrote:

I notice you have had more than one type cancer. When you were diagnosed the second time, were you in a panic like the first time or just feel sort of odd? I don't know how to ask or explain. I had breast cancer in 2014 and now, just found out I have cervical but I feel different this time.

Dx 6/4/2014, IDC, 1cm, Stage IA, Grade 1, 0/3 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 7/14/2014 Mastectomy; Mastectomy (Right) Hormonal Therapy 8/18/2014 Arimidex (anastrozole) Surgery 12/19/2015 Reconstruction (Right)
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Mar 26, 2022 03:59PM alicebastable wrote:

The first, endometrial, freaked me out a bit. I wanted to run away, like that would have solved it! While recovering from it, I had the first of several minor skin cancers. That made me really angry, like adding insult to injury. Ten years later, I was fairly calm about the breast cancer, and didn't have any panic moments. Then I got the kidney cancer diagnosis right after and I think I laughed, but probably a little hysterically. It just struck me as ridiculous. It still does.

Good luck to you, and welcome to the crap magnet club.

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Mar 26, 2022 09:53PM sarahmaude wrote:

Alicebastable, I just came across this post. It and the conversation are so very good. I want to thank you for being one of the first to help me with my information seeking. We are still out here, and getting so much information in my first days was exactly what I needed. In the first 5 weeks of my journey, I’ve already seen some of the reassurance or confirmation seekers, and while I’ve tried to support some of them, I agree that my style isn’t the most helpful.

Just know that the facts, logic and experience you frequent posters gave me was really the reassurance I needed. Reassurance that I’m not the only one. Reassurance that being well informed makes me a better patient. Reassurance that when I’m at my wits end, I’m not crazy. I just have to keep moving forward, even if it’s at a snail’s pace.

You and several others in thisthread have inspired me to answer people who are newer than me. And, hopefully, I can be helpful to others by being informative, and as empathetic as I can be.

Hormonal Therapy 2/17/2022 Arimidex (anastrozole) Surgery 3/31/2022 Lumpectomy (Left) Chemotherapy 5/4/2022 Taxotere (docetaxel), Cytoxan (cyclophosphamide) Dx IDC, Left, 4cm, Stage IIA, Grade 3, ER+/PR-, HER2- Radiation Therapy Left breast
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Mar 27, 2022 01:20AM alicebastable wrote:

sarahmaude, thank you! There are some of us who prefer a pretty straightforward approach (combined with compassion, to the best of our separate abilities), and we're always delighted to find newcomers who think in a similar way.

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