Topic: "Friend" calls and asks to be put in my will WTF

Forum: Mental Health: Because Cancer Doesn't Just Affect Your Breasts — Meet and support others who are affected by these issues around anxiety, depression & other emotional effects.

Posted on: May 9, 2022 10:49AM

Posted on: May 9, 2022 10:49AM

farmgirl888 wrote:

Who needs friends like that? Seriously, a drunk friend called and said she was broke and would I put her in my will.....since obviously she thinks I'm heading for my grave. I had Stage 1A, lumpectomy, clean nodes, radiation, Letrozole.....doing great life goes on. :) Career, life, health is going well!

What the hell is wrong with people? This is someone that I have known for over 40 years. Would like to send her an email to point out her lack of compassion, but where do you even start. I'm a very positive person. My response to her was that I have plans to live a very long life....then I heard her husband yell "put us in your will".

We live in a time where humans have become so self centered that it's hard to believe. In disbelief....

Just venting, thanks for listening!:)

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May 9, 2022 11:01AM exbrnxgrl wrote:

I’m so glad you put the word “friend” in parentheses. Now you can change it to ex-friend. You mentioned that she was drunk and I’m sure some will urge you to forgive her due to her state. I admit to having little tolerance for ugly drunks (married to an alcoholic for 23 years). You may be more forgiving of such situations than I am but only you can decide if this can be forgiven and if you want your friendship to continue. Her ignorance and crudeness may have just been the alcohol but as they say, in vino veritas.

Dx IDC, Left, 4cm, Stage IV, Grade 1, 1/15 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-
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May 9, 2022 11:16AM farmgirl888 wrote:

Thank you...yes indeed, often the ugly truth comes out when someone is intoxicated. You see the true person and their motivation. I truly think I will be ending the friendship. This is why I was hesitant to share my diagnosis with people...but then made the decision I could help people by talking about it, and letting them know to get their mammogram as that's how mine was caught. Exbarnxgirl, are you a former horse girl? This "friend" is an old trainer of mine.

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May 9, 2022 11:32AM exbrnxgrl wrote:

LOL! Quite the opposite. I’m an urban gal through and through. My username, exbrnxgrl, stands for ex-Bronx girl. I was born and raised in the Bronx, NY. I currently live in downtown San José, CA. Not quite as urban as NYC, but definitely no barns despite a long history of farming here in Silicon Valley.

Dx IDC, Left, 4cm, Stage IV, Grade 1, 1/15 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-
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May 9, 2022 12:22PM cowgirl13 wrote:

If you decide to cut her out of your life, be sure to let her know it is her drinking. And do not get into a conversation about it. You may be helping her reach her 'bottom' which is about what has to happen to get her to deal with her alcoholism. Don't take it personally -- its alcoholism. Again, don't discuss it with her because you can't argue with a drunk.

Be the kind of woman that when your feet hit the floor each morning the Devil says: 'Oh crap! She's up! Dx 5/28/2009, IDC, Left, 2cm, Stage IIA, Grade 3, ER+/PR+, HER2+ Surgery 6/17/2009 Chemotherapy 8/3/2009 Carboplatin (Paraplatin), Taxotere (docetaxel) Radiation Therapy 12/21/2009 Hormonal Therapy 2/23/2010 Arimidex (anastrozole)
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May 9, 2022 02:18PM alicebastable wrote:

Drunk truth is what comes out when the inhibitions are unmasked - so it's what she was thinking underneath all along. NOT a friend, and it's good that you found out.

Ignore treatment info (below) which is a BCO glitch. Do not enter personal information on this site since they grossly mishandled a data breach.
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May 9, 2022 04:34PM xfitmama2 wrote:

Drop that “friend” like a hot potato. If cancer has taught us anything, it’s that there’s no time to waste on fools. I’m sorry that happened, farmgirl

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May 9, 2022 04:51PM kotchaj wrote:

I'm speechless. Seriously speechless. My thought would be to not respond to her. Ever again. I'm so very sorry. Cancer has definitely changed so many things in our lives and some things like this are just awful. Can you leave her your debt? :-) You know, when you die in 50 years or so??

Chemotherapy 6/7/2021 AC + T (Taxol) Hormonal Therapy 6/15/2021 Arimidex (anastrozole) Targeted Therapy 6/15/2021 Verzenio Chemotherapy 8/31/2021 Other Radiation Therapy 2/9/2022 Whole breast, Radiation boost: Left breast, Lymph nodes Dx IDC: Mucinous/IDC, Left, 3cm, Stage IIIC, Grade 2, 20/21 nodes, ER+/PR-, HER2- Surgery Lymph node removal (Left): Underarm/Axillary; Mastectomy (Left): Modified Radical
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May 9, 2022 06:20PM chicagoan wrote:

Farmgirl,

Of all the crazy things that get said to breast cancer patients, this one really takes the cake! It actually makes me laugh. I like your response to her and now would cut off all contact. I'd be afraid to be around her and her husband in case they wanted to speed up your demise! Thanks for the afternoon chuckle.

Dx 9/21/2016, IDC, Left, Stage IV, metastasized to bone, Grade 1, ER+/PR+, HER2- Radiation Therapy 9/27/2016 Hormonal Therapy 10/5/2016 Femara (letrozole) Targeted Therapy 10/27/2016 Ibrance (palbociclib)
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May 10, 2022 09:53PM sunshine99 wrote:

This title caught my eye as I was scrolling through the posts. WTF is right! And I agree that she was drunk and I'd not even respond to her. I had a whack-a-doodle church dude call me about five times, telling me had a "healing ministry" and could cure my (Stage IV) cancer. I never did answer when he called, and I ended up blocking his number.

This "friend" sounds NUTS! (But I'm still going to mark this as a "Favorite" so I can keep up with this thread.) And like Chicagoan said, thanks for the chuckle.

Carol

my-sunny-side-up.com Cancer has progressed to my bones. I pray that it never enters my soul. Dx 11/2/2007, IDC, 3cm, Stage IIA, 0/3 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Dx 3/26/2020, IDC, Stage IV, metastasized to bone, ER+/PR-, HER2- Hormonal Therapy 4/22/2020 Arimidex (anastrozole) Radiation Therapy 5/5/2020 External Local Metastases 5/5/2020 Radiation therapy: Bone Radiation Therapy 5/12/2020 External Local Metastases 5/12/2020 Radiation therapy: Bone Targeted Therapy 6/10/2020 Ibrance (palbociclib)

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