Meet other women who are similar in age and dealing with age-appropriate issues.
Posted on: Feb 7, 2009 06:29PM
I am an "older" woman with breast cancer (I was diagnosed at 65 and am now 66). I notice that most of the posts seem to be from people younger than I am (often by quite a bit...). I'd love to "talk" with others my age, exchange info about their diagnoses, effects on their lives, etc. I see that there is a forum for young women.
Someone suggested that maybe it's that older people aren't so computer-savvy or aren't used to being in online discussion groups. However, for those who are, it would be great.
Posts 271 - 300 (38,685 total)
Feb 28, 2009 03:08PM JO-5 wrote:
LOL oh well, My pic was not on there for more than a few minutes --- doubt if any Internet "lurkers" are interested, anyhow........ but I feel better!
Feb 28, 2009 03:13PM IllinoisLady wrote:
"Memory"......iffy now, but I don't know if it was the major thyroid blow-out requiring among other things drinking radiated iodine...3 times, had transitory amnesia during that very long period and then a few years later the stroke which took out a dime-sized portion of my brain stem, and now cancer with all it's chemicals. I try to read ( especially current events ) as much as I can tolerate, work cross-word and find a word puzzles, but in truth I don't know that I ever had a great memory but I do worry sometimes with the Arimidex. If there is no pressure connected I'm ok, but often if asked quick questions I blank out on the answer --- even to the point of not being able to say who is on the phone. I try not to worry too much as it seems pointless.....just try to keep my mind stimulated as much as I can --- typing here and spelling....that has got to be good.
Feb 28, 2009 03:15PM FACECRAFTER wrote:
I think the chemo brain is different from normal memory problems. At least mine is. I am convinced that something is true, as opposed to something being forgotten. Like I was CONVINCED it was Sunday night, when it was actually Friday night. And that I had forgotten to call someone with something important, and I CALLED. At 11.15pm at night! But they needed the information for Monday..! Normally, I would just forget to call and that's it. See the difference?
I have a question. I am on Tx 10 of 12 on Taxol, having completed 4 A/C earlier. I am experiencing weakness in my legs. They feel as if they're going to give out on me. I've been experiencing it for two weeks now. Is this another side effect of Taxol? Will it go away after I'm done? Thanks, JUDY.
Feb 28, 2009 03:18PM - edited Feb 28, 2009 03:20PM by JO-5
Hon, the stress of having BC is enough to cause memory loss -- much less if you have stress in other things!
Memory loss is a biggie with depression --- and there is certainly nothing wrong with asking for meds to combat the depression - especially at this point! Later on you might not need it.
It is my understanding that the memory loss from chemo gets better with time....... The ladies on here that have had chemo will perhaps come on and help you out.
Testing and WAITING is probably one of the most stressful parts of this whole journey (the trip that none of us ever wanted to go on)
I am waiting for results from my 5 yr. mammogram now ---- and it feels like an eternity! It was a week Friday and still no news. I've been UP - DOWN - and SPUN AROUND on this roller coaster for five years and just when I think I've got it under control -- up pops something else and here I go - scared again!
So -- don't be too hard on yourself ---- it's normal (WHATEVER NORMAL IS) to be forgetful / scared/ depressed, etc. etc.
Old Age or "older age" is not for SISSIES!
Feb 28, 2009 04:18PM crazy4carrots wrote:Re the memory/chemo brain thing: Do you suppose it's because part of our mind is taken up with the fact that we had/have bc and that, even though we don't think of it every minute, our subconscious does, so we forget stuff that's just happened? I've never had so many arguments with dh as I've had over this past year, about forgetting things
Feb 28, 2009 04:25PM mzmiller99 wrote:
Peggle - I hope your tests are A-OK. We have enough to worry about without less than normal test results.
Are we worrying about "old-timer's disease"? Boy, I am! I'm forever forgetting friend's names, stuff I should be doing, like paying bills, etc. My daughter says if you can still tell time, it's not Alzheimer's, but I always had trouble telling time, so that doesn't help me. Is there anything more definitive? I hope it's just hormone brain and being 62 , but I do worry!
However, I was only in my thirties when I drove to the market with my four year old, and when we were done, we walked back home, only a block away.
Later that day, I looked out and noticed my car was missing!!! Called the police in a panic and reported it stolen, only to have my daughter point out to me, belatedly, that we had left it in the parking lot of the market! Hmmm, I hope they all had a good chuckle on me when I called to report a NOT stolen car!
That was the same week I put a bunch of spring dresses in the washer to freshen up and after I heard a tremendous clanking coming for the laundry room, realized I hadn't removed the hangers!!
So, maybe, it isn't "old-timer's", it's just me!
Feb 28, 2009 04:47PM - edited Feb 28, 2009 04:50PM by swimangel72
HI Mandy - I sent you a PM - but it's no secret. You can Google "DDT and breast cancer" and find a lot of studies. An article that's easy to read for non-scientists like myself can be found here:
Later comments from other researchers dispute these findings.........but I go by my gut instincts as to how I got BC...........and I truly believe it was due to DDT exposure. Doesn't change what happened to me - but it gives me some measure of reassurance that my younger sister and my daughters will be spared since they weren't exposed in the same way. Maybe wishful thinking on my part - but I have always been an optimist.
As for memory problems - I noticed this going through natural menopause at the age of 48.......I need to write notes for myself all the time - they are stuck to my microwave, computer screen, bathroom mirror, and bedroom mirror. I wear an ID photo-badge around my neck at work - oftentimes I'll have a yellow-sticky note pasted to the back of that too! I don't blame it on chemo-brain - but on the fact that I'm always multi-tasking, as women our age are VERY adept at doing out of necessity. So many of us are caregivers - to children - to husbands - to elderly parents.......they call us the "sandwich generation"..........I'm even the caregiver to my daughter's cat - which I didn't appreciate at the time, but now I've come to love Bucky and my daughter is jealous - because when she came home from college after months away, Bucky didn't even recognize her and HISSED at her! Lol!
Hope you all are having a restful Saturday - nothing is as restful as doing laundry......or should I say "boring", lol!
P.S. Edited to add - Susan that was a VERY funny story about the hangers in the washer! I did things like that too in my younger years...........again, we were multi-tasking while focusing our much-needed attention on the care of our young children - so I never apologize for these funny mistakes - they just make me laugh! Life is full of errors - it's how we look at them that makes all the difference. The glass IS half full!
Feb 28, 2009 05:17PM JO-5 wrote:
I don't have "all timers" I have "some timers" LOL ( Not admitting to "old timers.")
Seriously, my mother passed away w/ Alz. and I was forced to learn more than I ever wanted to know. Basically, if you know you forget it is NOT Alz. An Alz. patient does not know that they forget.
on the DDT --- never thought about it ----- but I can remember using that old tin pump sprayer and spraying DDT all over the place and it blowing back in my face....... when I was about 6 or 7! Mom let me spray -- because I thought it was fun! HMMMMMMMM ? Something else to think about! I am going to take a look at that web site!
Not one thing we can do about it now --- but it is interesting! Makes me wonder what relation the DDT might have had w/ Mom's Alz? But if that was the case ---- everyone I knew at that time would have it or BC - because EVERYONE USE IT!
Feb 28, 2009 05:27PM swimangel72 wrote:
It's true JO - everyone used DDT back then - but not everyone was a little girl with undeveloped breasts - and not everyone had other things making them more susceptible to getting BC. Most scientists agree that it's not just ONE thing that causes BC.......but many variables. They have even studied identical twins and cancer outcomes.........one twin will get a certain kind of cancer and the other won't..........because no one lives an identical life with identical environmental influences. It IS all fascinating.........I am obsessed with learning about BC for the sake of my daughters. As for me - whatever - what's done is done - and I have to just get through this. Actually I'm more fearful of dying from another MRSA staph infection.........but heck, I could walk outside and get hit by a car too, that's no way to live the remainder of my life so I refuse to do so! Much more fun to laugh - and live - and love - and go to the movies - and eat the popcorn I crave!
Feb 28, 2009 06:07PM - edited Feb 28, 2009 06:48PM by PhyllisCC
Yum... I think I'll go make some popcorn.
I think my memory gaps are from too much anesthesia. I am lucky and haven't had any problems with it... in fact I kinda like it. BUt I really think it affects my memory. (Can't be "old" age.) I don't post too much, but always check out this thread. If we keep up the posts it will stay visable...at the bottom maybe, but visable. Enjoy your weekend. Jo, Raggedy is fine but you're much better! Hey, Blue Willow you look perfectly fine with your "new" hair. I think you should grow it longer...then spike it! Phyllis
Feb 28, 2009 06:11PM JO-5 wrote:
I read the article after I posted and it would have been about 1947 or 48 when I was doing all that spraying. It was very interesting, and I too - read everything I can on the subject - and yes, for the benefit of my daughters and granddaughters!
Popcorn is a GOOD THING!
Feb 28, 2009 06:14PM Binney4 wrote:
I doubt the mods are going to read through our posts, so I'd suggest sending a private message to Melissa and letting her know you'd like a forum of our own. The more the merrier.
Not sure the decades mean much to me -- I'm enjoying the interface of all of them and would hate to feel "assigned" to my own decade. JMHO
Feb 28, 2009 07:04PM - edited Feb 28, 2009 07:04PM by PhyllisCC
I sent another PM to Tami Melissa and asked them to check out this thread... and suggested, again, that maybe us " old" folks needed a forum. Said maybe we could be under the young BC forum...andI realize they can't set one up for everybody, but the number of "hits" on this one is high...more than some established threads. Here's hoping we hear something. If not, I just go to the end of all the lists and find US. Phyllis
Feb 28, 2009 07:55PM cw89134 wrote:
I'm 62 and was just diagnosed this past week. Do I count as being "older"?
Here's my breast story:
Last summer, I had my annual mammogram. The report said that there was an increased number of calcifications in the left breast and stereotactic biopsy was recommended. I went for that procedure on July 30, 2008 and it was determined that the calcifications were in the skin tissue, not in the breast tissue. That sounded good to me. No mass was found. No sample was taken but the doctor recommended another mammogram in six months.
Six months is now and on 2/18 I went for the follow-up mammogram. Now there is a mass in the left breast that was not there six months ago. Long story short ... it's "invasive mammary carcinoma with ductal and lobular features". The marker tests were also done. These are the results:
Her-2: 1.2 (no overexpression)
I'm scheduled for a lumpectomy on March 26. The surgeon says that lumpectomy + radiation is equivalent to mastectomy.
I had been taking hormon replacement therapy (Premarin) for 15 years. I'm quite sure that's what caused it.
To add to all this, I am physically challenged (Cerebral Palsy) since birth. Because of this, the surgeon said that unless my Oncotype DX is very high, he would not recommend chemo for me because of the neurological side effects. He did put me on Arimidex before surgery. He said that he does that sometimes. Today is day 3 of Arimidex. So far, no side effects -- yet.
I'm scheduled for a CT/PET full body scan this Tuesday. Has everyone had this test? Does it ever come back positive?
I'm sure I'll be back with questions but that's all I can think of at the moment. Thanks for listening.
Feb 28, 2009 09:40PM mzmiller99 wrote:
Hello, Carol - welcome to our world!! Sorry that you had to be here, tho. I'm also 62, although I don't know how I got this old so fast. ??? I'm no help on the ct scan - only MRIs. Your doctor is being thorough and chances are very good that you'll have negative results.
I also had the partial mast with radiation last summer. Doing fine now.
Check back often. We life warriors are hoping to have our own forum.
Feb 28, 2009 09:54PM ritajean wrote:
Welcome, Carol. I'm a newbie to this thread, too, and I'm loving it. I relate to everything that's said here. Now that's really sorta scary.
Peg...I'm so sorry that you're depressed and worried about your tests. I understand this feeling. I'm already worried about the test I'm having this next week. I know it does no good to worry, but I think I'm the worry queen. So if there's anybody else out there who is worried, too.....just let me know. I'll do your worrying for you! I've got it down to a science! LOL All kidding aside....hugs, Peg. I hope things turn out O.K.
Jackie...nice to see that you made the trip over to this thread, too. This is a pretty neat place, isn't it?
So how many grandmothers do we have on this thread? I have two little grandsons and another one is on the way the end of this month. Unfortunately they live in Kentucky and I live in Illinois so I don't get to spoil them as much as a grandmother should! Jan..I zeroed in on the superhero sheets, though as both of my little guys are big superhero fans.
I'm attacking the belly fat on Monday. Yep, that's the day that the diet start. I'm going to try to stick to the a modified version of the weight watcher's core and then if my onc gives me the O.K. I'm going to try the Acai berry supplement. Anyone given that a try?
Gotta get going.......I'm gradually getting through all the earlier posts! We are indeed "oldies but goodies." LOL
So glad I was directed to this thread.......
Feb 28, 2009 09:58PM samedaynurseJan wrote:
I am crossing my fingers tight that we have proved ourselves worthy of our own Forum....I think we are fine here but it would give us a place of our own with more room for expansion.
Welcome Carol....we will all be thinking good thoughts for you on surgery day. I didnt have a CT/PET just the MRI and a total body bone scan....you have every reason to think positive and assume all will come back just fine !
Memory....I am going to cast my vote for normal aging and post menopausal brain blips.....at work, i can remember a patients name and what they had done and when for eons....or I can hear a name and say ooooooooo she had _______ on ________ and almost always Im right.....at home....I cant remember what we had for dinner 3 nights ago or what I watched on TV last night.
I had a weepy morning today.....and that really isnt like me....in the beginning I couldnt stop crying but lately Ive been so much more in control and so much more comfortable with everything. This morning I opened a magazine and there was a bc article on page 3.....when I flipped on the tv the walks were being advertised....when the mail came there were more bill issues....I went to shower and realized my snb incision had opened again....over 2 months post op and was rejecting more sutures from the depths of my armpit.....ugh ugh and ugh....so I had a good cry , do we all do that from time to time still ? Or do I need to shape up......
Hope you all had sunshine today.....and more of it tomorrow
Feb 28, 2009 10:02PM Northstar wrote:
I have two wonderful grandchildren, too, Rita, a boy 7 and girl 5. Our grandaughter has Down Syndrome, but she can identify all of her letters and numbers now and when I write CAT and ask her, "What does that say?", she says "Pippin." (our cat). I think that's pretty smart. I never knew how much I would love grandchildren--they are incredible little people. We are lucky that they live near us--only about 15 minutes away.
Feb 28, 2009 10:15PM - edited Feb 28, 2009 10:17PM by Binney4
Aw, Jan, grieving is hard work, and at eight years out I still have my days. At this point it doesn't come as a surprise anymore, and I'm gentler on myself. Give yourself some room and don't worry about shaping up just yet.
As for sunshine -- we're due to be in the 90s later this week, which is way too much sunshine for me. And it's only March! Ugh!
On the subject of belly fat, I was looking in the mirror today and I thought, "That is NOT my stomach, so how the heck did I get it on me?!" The only thing that helps is to keep up with some modified sit-ups every day, but I can't tell you how much I hate to do them -- so they haven't been done for a while. Sigh! Back to work!
Anybody else a stay-at-home mom all their adult life? "Retirement" for me is sort of a state of mind rather than a reality.
Prayers for all those of you facing tests and the yukky waiting for results. Carol, thinking of you as you await a plan that will work out perfectly for you!
P.S. - Eleven grandkids and counting - the oldest are 13.
Feb 28, 2009 10:17PM samedaynurseJan wrote:
Grandchildren....*suddenly smiling from ear to ear* my only son, has three little boys.....6 and 3 and just turned 2.....my husband and I are both only children so we have almost no family at all....my son is an only child by chance not by choice....and now he has given us these 3 adorable energy filled creatures that make me laugh til my sides hurt.....and make me learn Superhero names and go to T ball games and......make me have a huge reason to want to live and be healthy for a very very long time !
Downs children are delightful intelligent joyful human beings :)
Feb 28, 2009 10:30PM - edited Mar 1, 2009 12:12AM by SoCalLisa
Hi Rita...good to see you and to have another CMFer here
and yes I have two little grandkids..
Feb 28, 2009 10:40PM - edited Feb 28, 2009 10:41PM by artsee
Jo...I'm out in Web land because of some art work I do. One time I typed my name on the computer and I can't believe all the hits I got with my name including things said on these boards. That is freaking SCARY. I couldn't believe it and i didn't even want to see any more so I logged off.
I have 5 grand kids and one on the way.The ages are 7-2. My two boys have sure been busy.
Artsee .....HELLO all you old hens!!!! I like that....old hens we are.
Feb 28, 2009 11:29PM IllinoisLady wrote:
Carol....Hoping all goes well for you. I was nervous about all the tests, but it is great to find out that the problem you are experiencing is only in one area of your body and that is why the extra testing. I had Ct scans and then was told nothing was going on anywhere else in my body.....so I did not need to 'wonder' how the rest of me was as I prepared for my lumpectomy. Hopefully you too will hear the same.
Jan --- I still get teary-eyed now and then ---- just this afternoon got to thinking about all the people missing from my life who would have been so supportive had they just been here. For the life of me....don't know what made that pop into my head as I had so many people who were and are here. I forced myself to think of other things as I was driving but it caught me by surprise.
Rita......I am glad I came over. A chance to 'celebrate my youth' here with the rest of the ladies. And maybe we can talk Binny into sharing some of the nice weather she is going to have....so gray here today....no wonder I got moody.
Three grandchildren for me on my side and Dh has eight on his side so we are well endowed.
Hope it's pretty tomorrow....I'm ready for some sun.
Feb 28, 2009 11:44PM karol61 wrote:
Hello all you wonderful ladies,
Everyonce in a while it hits me"I had cancer." Then I remember that since finishing radiation, I've been NED or no evidence of disease.
My memory lapses come and go but the worst is not being able to retrive a word.....aaagh how many times can I say that i have a brain cramp?LOL
It's very cold here tonight (15 degrees) and it was 40 degrees and raining yesterday!
Mar 1, 2009 12:17AM mikita5 wrote:
We have eight grandkids. Ages 12 yrs, 11 yrs, 10 yrs, 9 yrs, 8 yrs, 7 yrs, 6 yrs , 18months. So, you see we had 7 of them wham, wham, wham....one each year for 7 yrs. Thought we were finished and along came #8 (UN planned) and is she a precious doll!! We're thinking that's all now, for sure. I have 3 of the g'daughters tonight.. Nothing like those g'kids!!
I was talking to my daughter the other day. She's having school problems with the 11 yr old (for some reason can NOT turn in his homework! He does it, just doesn't turn it in). I told her to tell him that if he becomes valdictorian of his class, I'll give him $300. She said "Now, do you think that's right?? I never got offered $300).. Yep, they're different alright!!
Mar 1, 2009 12:54AM Deb-from-Ohio wrote:
Ha! You guys are rookies! Between my 3 kids and his two daughters, we have 17 Grandkids....I gave up remembering birthdays, ages, etc.......LOL....................Majority are girls though....Only 7 boys.