Meet other women who are similar in age and dealing with age-appropriate issues.
Posted on: Feb 7, 2009 06:29PM
I am an "older" woman with breast cancer (I was diagnosed at 65 and am now 66). I notice that most of the posts seem to be from people younger than I am (often by quite a bit...). I'd love to "talk" with others my age, exchange info about their diagnoses, effects on their lives, etc. I see that there is a forum for young women.
Someone suggested that maybe it's that older people aren't so computer-savvy or aren't used to being in online discussion groups. However, for those who are, it would be great.
Posts 33481 - 33510 (33,540 total)
Jan 7, 2019 11:27PM Beaverntx wrote:
ChiSandy, within 2 weeks of that earthquake, I was in an airplane circling over the "pancake". Why circling--because there was an emergency light lit on the instrument panel indicating there were problems with the landing gear. After seeing the collapsed road for the third time, I was beginning to wonder if we would ever land! We finally did, on a runway lined on either side with fire and emergency equipment. Turned out the problem was with the light, not the landing gear.
Jan 7, 2019 11:48PM - edited Jan 7, 2019 11:49PM by ChiSandy
Yikes, Beaverntx! That had to be nerve-wracking.
My first law job, while awaiting bar exam results, was as a probate paralegal in downtown Seattle (in the old IBM bldg.). I didn't want to deal with traffic or pay for parking every day, so I would take the bus through Montlake and the Central Area to work. It was a hellaciously long commute--a 15-minute drive was an >hourlong bus ride with stops every 3 blocks. After a month of that, I bit the bullet and decided to drive.
Jan 8, 2019 10:09AM IllinoisLady wrote:
A generous heart, kind speech,
and a life of service and compassion
are the things which renew humanity.
- The Buddha
Jan 8, 2019 10:12AM IllinoisLady wrote:
Spot of rain last night -- but sunny this a.m. and will get up to 65 it is said. Well, this time of yr. that is not a lasting thing but just a sweet quick taste of mid-Spring. We will likely drop off in temps. after this. I hope the rain doesn't show up for a while but who knows.
Hope you are all going to have a beauty of a day.
Jan 9, 2019 09:28AM IllinoisLady wrote:
Imagine peace. Imagine love. Imagine oneness.
Imagine whatever most speaks to your heart.
Whatever you can imagine, you can accomplish.
The canvas of life awaits You -
the painter of your dreams.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Jan 9, 2019 09:31AM IllinoisLady wrote:
Yesterday was wonderful, but a chill wind outside this morning. It will get to low 50's anyway, but I think we pretty much go back to more wintery temps after today. In fact, maybe some snow on the week-end. Get ready sinuses !!! The winds filled out deck with more leaves so something to do later. Bill paying day so I'll be think in the wallet until SS time. In other words -- normal.
I hope you all have a really wonderful day.
Jan 10, 2019 08:54AM IllinoisLady wrote:
Gentleness means recognizing that the world around us is fragile, especially other people. It is recognizing our own capacity to do harm and choosing to be tender, soft-spoken, soft-hearted, and careful. When we are gentle we touch the world in ways that protect and preserve it. Being gentle doesn't mean being weak; gentleness can be firm, even powerful. To behave in a gentle manner requires that we stay centered in our own values and strength -- that we are active rather than reactive. Coming from this center, a gentle word or touch can channel our energy into healing or making peace.
unattributed, Wisdom Commons
Jan 10, 2019 09:02AM IllinoisLady wrote:
Chilly today and late tomorrow afternoon ( if forecast is correct time-wise ) comes four to 6 inches of snow. From near summer to snow. That is about what it has been like in our strange but stranger than previous yrs. this yr. I actually have come to expect that it WON'T be like I think it might, and only hope I can enjoy this snow. It sounds like it will be more of the type I do like. Warmer temps with a wetter snow. Anyway, maybe I will get to go out and have a nice walk -- if I have enough done during the day.
I always get to go out and least once to feed kitties -- but if it is 'warmer' they will be happier and I may be able to come home and mill around outside enjoying the snow. That really means pushing the snow around off the walk-ways and deck. But -- I do like to spend some time ( even if it is to work at snow removal ) out of doors.
Jan 10, 2019 11:28AM MCBaker wrote:
I get chilled so easily nowadays. I am finding that headgear and a scarf are warmer now that I am hatted 24/7 and don't have to worry about hat-hair.
Jan 11, 2019 08:48AM IllinoisLady wrote:
Realize that each soul is related to you. When you recognize that everyone is part of you, you will find you cannot withdraw from another.
Jan 11, 2019 08:57AM IllinoisLady wrote:
MC -- I was ( at least it felt like it ) freezing all the while I did chemo. Even in the house I was not comfy if I did not have on full sweats and many times a covering on my head. Socks too. I will say that covered so well I could with hat, heavy scarf and gloves do okay outside, but there was very little time that I didn't have an awareness of feeling more 'cold' than anything else. It did go away once chemo had been ended ( around Apr. of the yr. which at the time was nice here ) but was otherwise always with me.
So stay warm. Our snows start today -- sounds like mainly afternoon to be heaviest during the night. Well, that is when it will be coldest. Daytime temps. actually will be above freezing though it can snow then. Sounds like the possibility exists not only today and tonight but in the next two days as well. Hmm, now I presume we will have some actual real wintertime weather.
Hope you will all have a really good day. Stay warm.
Jan 11, 2019 11:23AM MCBaker wrote:
As usual for this winter, we are having milder weather than you. Nothing nasty predicted for a week. Just went to the quilting store and got a two-yard piece of batik. I'll probably pilfer a piece of thin batting from the club. My brother actually suggested quilted scarves. But will donate the second scarf to the onco center.
Jan 11, 2019 05:57PM - edited Jan 11, 2019 05:58PM by jo6359
carol and wren- I will be 60 in March. Am I old enough to qualify for this thread? I had a beautiful 50s to low 60s in Miami yesterday with sunny skies. Today high seventies humid as heck. Soon I will have to switch the AC on. The weather is so crazy this winter. Cold one day hot the other. I love the weather in the 60s and 70s. Great running weather. The descriptions of the snow sounds like something you would see in a movie or on a postcard. Lovely imagery. Thanks for taking me there
Jan 11, 2019 06:28PM IllinoisLady wrote:
jo6359 -- you are most welcome on this thread. Snow is beautiful. We live in the woods so many of our roads/areas stay nice. Going into town though where salt is used on the roads doesn't leave it nice ( except in people's yards along the way ) for too long. Out here though -- one can have a nice walk to the lake ( not far away ) to see if there is any ice on it. Just nice and I always hope for at least one good snow.
Jan 11, 2019 10:20PM IllinoisLady wrote:
The snow has been coming done since 3:30 p.m. this afternoon. It is so pretty. The ground is well covered now ( after dark ) but I'm not too sure overall since we only see what portion shows up in the porch light. Getting up tomorrow will be an adventure.
Anyway, thought about you several times today Anne and decided to say hi and hope that things are okay with you. Sure you are not having snow where you are, eh !!!
Jan 11, 2019 11:13PM Wren44 wrote:
Of course you're welcome here Jo. We don't card anyone.
We had some sun today and more expected thru the weekend.
I worked on the15th floor of a downtown building. It's as much fun watch snow fall from above as from below. I was useless when it snowed. One place we lived here had no traffic at all when it snowed. So fun to only see cross-country ski tracks in the street. And we could go watch the idiots drive around the street closed sign and try to get up the hill. Couldn't make it. Half way up they would start sliding back down.
Jan 12, 2019 05:09AM MCBaker wrote:
We once lived in a neighborhood where every direction out was up. Somehow we never got the idea that we needed to park at the closest exit when snow was expected. And that was in Sioux City Iowa, snowier than here, although further south.
I have a friend who lives on a hill way out in the country. When the weather gets bad, they park at the bottom of the hill. A half-mile walk. Every winter they talk about moving, but then the weather turns nice and the idea seems ridiculous. They are getting older, and I horrify her with the thought of the cost of a helicopter flight to the hospital.
Jan 12, 2019 09:22AM IllinoisLady wrote:
There comes a time when you have to stand up and shout: This is me damn it! I look the way I look, think the way I think, feel the way I feel, love the way I love! I am a whole complex package. Take me. . . or leave me. Accept me--or walk away! Do not try to make me feel like less of a person, just because I don't fit your idea of who I should be and don't try to change me to fit your mold. If I need to change, I alone will make that decision. When you are strong enough to love yourself 100%, good and bad--you will be amazed at the opportunities that life presents you. -Stacey Charter
Jan 12, 2019 09:42AM IllinoisLady wrote:
Woke up to several inches of snow. Always hard to determine just how much out here in the woods. From the deck though ( railings and built-in-seats it looks like 3&1/2 to 4 inches. It is really pretty but I did watch Dh have to go back and forth a few times to get out of our parking area and onto our lane heading out. His truck ( old 1995 ) is 4-wheel drive but can be a bit more difficult than newer vehicles. Very clumsy and over the yrs. more play in the wheel than one would like. Here's hoping when I get ready to go out for the feral cat feedings. I will definitely have to carry a snow shovel along to scoop out a place to put the food down.
Then again -- not sure if I'll have takers though there are regulars that will find a way to get out from under the fence to eat. I've not had many as of late. I had upwards of 17 but they have thinned out dramatically. I worry but try not to think of all the possible whys. I have three or 4 regulars so expect to see them. I don't think any were sheltering off-spring as they would have been out by now.
I have been fortunate as far as driving in the snow. Front wheel drive and four-wheel, big blessings. Since we bought our property out here ( a few yrs. back ) we were annexed into the city and now at some point a truck with big snow-blade comes out to open/plow our lane. We have generally managed to leave w/o issues whether plowed or not, but it is a lot easier if the plow has come by. By the time ( a couple of miles ) we reach the highway things are usually good as they come out during the night/early a.m. with salt trucks. Of course, though it makes highway driving safe you soon have to hit the car wash to get the salt off your vehicle. We have three or four car washes in town and during snows they are kept really busy.
Snow ( though none is coming down right now ) has been predicted for all the way up to tomorrow morning. That would get it pretty deep out here. We will be fine though. It will just mean more than one deck/walk/cleaning to have. I'm hoping that it is not too wet -- sleet or ice coating. Fingers crossed.
Jan 12, 2019 10:19PM jo6359 wrote:
I am in awe. I have traveled extensively throughout the world. For the most part part I have avoided snow. I spent two weeks in Canada but the snow had already fallen. Montana, Canada and Switzerland light snow. I cannot imagine shoveling snow, driving in snow and just functioning in deep snow. I love hearing the stories and looking at the pictures. For the most part the pictures look like a beautiful postcard. Most of these ladies on these threads don't just drive in snow to go to work, they go to exercise classes and basketball games . These women are phenomenal. Totally in awe.
Jan 13, 2019 02:11AM - edited Jan 13, 2019 05:11PM by ChiSandy
Flurries began here on the city's N. Side around noon, but nothing began to stick until around 3pm. We got about 2" or so, though WI hardly got anything, the S. Side down to Kankakee, got about 5" and parts south (thinking of you, Jackie) got slammed with 6-9" and counting. It's tapered off to flurries now, with temps holding steady around freezing all night and tomorrow. But there'll be some sunshine, and therefore a litle melting. It's the re-freezing that always freaks me out: not so much for driving, as my Outback has AWD and I've learned how to drive carefully with a light touch on the pedals (when we first moved to Chicago, our building's super advised me to imagine a raw egg beneath each pedal and try not to break it--good advice, as we arrived the June before the infamous Blizzard of '79).
Got an unsettling e-mail today from 23&Me: seems I'm a carrier for a variant of the gene for "familial Mediterranean fever" (FMF). Here's the weird thing, though: I am 99.9% Ashkenazi Jewish, with 0.1% "broadly European" (i.e., the gentile version of the same regions from which Ashkenazim hailed: central & NE Europe's "Pale of Settlement"). But the groups in which FMF is found? Sephardic Jews, Arabs, Turks, N. Africans and Persians--of which I have not one drop of ancestral blood. WTF? Seems Bob & Gordy are going to have to spit in the ol' test tubes and send their kits in. If Bob is a carrier (and he has a tad of Spanish & N. Italian ancestry), Gordy has a 25% chance of not being one, 50% of being a carrier, and 25% of actually having both copies and thus at risk. Abdominal & joint inflammation are symptoms. (Easily treated, though). I should call my sister and tell her & my niece to do the test too.
So while I was on the website, I decided to check the world & US maps for my "DNA relatives" (those who took the test and agreed to share data). Imagine my surprise to find I have 13 second cousins (apparently all on my maternal side): 9 all over the U.S., plus 2 each in Toronto and near Beersheba, Israel. I have 68 third cousins, too. (This is in addition to the 11 paternal-side second cousins a French genealogist locating heirs for an estate found--8 in Canada, 2 in the UK and one in Thailand).
Jan 13, 2019 04:44AM - edited Jan 13, 2019 04:46AM by MCBaker
Genealogically I am English, New Amsterdam Dutch, German, Irish, and a Huguenot preacher sneaked in there. Genetically, there were no surprises, 80% Eng & NW Europe, 11% German, 7% Irish/Scottish, and even 2% French. Contrary to family gossip, I have no discernible Native American. Ancestry.Com. I turned down breast cancer testing-- It is all post-menopausal.
Sandy, that is phenomenal, to have kept the lines through 2000 years!
Jan 13, 2019 08:57AM IllinoisLady wrote:
Happy are they who still love something they loved in the nursery:
They have not been broken in two by time; they are not two persons,
but one, and they have saved not only their souls but their lives.
Jan 13, 2019 09:37AM IllinoisLady wrote:
I am amazed at anyone who not only understands genealogy but all the ancestral ramifications that are a part of it. I did Ancestry.com and all I understand is that I'm mostly very European and Native American by 1/8th. Figure I might be better for some of the not knowns.
Our snow after the first 6 or so inches from yesterday in the late afternoon actually turned to rain ( sigh !! ) so melted a lot. It actually stayed warm enough ( I'm hoping since I haven't been out ) overnight no to freeze. Still, this a.m. there has been some more snow -- so if that help harden anything underneath it may be dicey later on going out to feed my feral cats.
I shoved a lot of snow around yesterday ( good for the figure ) and got our wooden walkway and deck all cleared. What tiny bits I was unable to get the rain melted totally away so it worked out fine. Had I known help in the form of rain would come I might have waited. Then again -- I would have gotten pretty wet with all the area I had to clean up. Not enough snow melt in the yard to have much affect on how pretty it is. I'm glad that we will have it for a bit longer. I know it will not look near so nice in town since they use several methods of melting the snow on the roadways and it makes nature's snow just a black slushy mess which ends up on your car and lots of time feet too.
I used my old boots rather than the Bearpaws that were a gift from my cousin. The old ones are my industrial boots and can tolerate lots of conditions and hold up. I spray good weatherproofing on my good boots, but no reason to "dress" well for what I was doing yesterday. My main reason for getting out at all was to do the feral cats. The other cleaning was just a good thing to get done so we would not struggle going up and down the sidewalk. Also even though our deck is outfitted with really sturdy wood neither of us want to make it hold tons of wet snow if we can get the snow off. Deck was here when we bought the house and we have been here going on 16 yrs. I treasure that deck. My kitchen door is flat to the deck and we use the deck almost constantly. We are well above the ground. Steps leading up are quite lg. and gentle to use though we are thinking ( our ages -- 80 & 74 respectively this yr ) of adding hand rails on both sides. Nice size too 10X14 I think.
Snow has quit for now -- will be interesting to see what the day brings.
Happy Sunday to all.
note for jo6359
Snow is a beautiful thing but have to say --- my husband insisted that I learn to drive after we got married 1975. At the time we were living in southern California. So when we chose to move to my home-town here in Illinois in very early 1997 I had never driven in snow and I was totally terrified. One flake and I made my husband do the driving. His bad back and inability to drive at that time, forced me out into snow and ice. So I have for yrs. now ( seldom even thinking much about it ) been ferrying myself around. It can be tricky and I tend to err on the side of caution but it ( to me anyway ) is no worse than driving in thick fog or really heavy rain. It was though hard for me to confront until I was forced into it.
Jan 13, 2019 05:59PM ChiSandy wrote:
Put up those rails--or at least one rail--ASAP. At our ages, balance issues are the primary cause of falls--and falls are more serious for those with weaker bones.
Jan 13, 2019 06:13PM Vanmama wrote:
I live right in the middle of Illinois--right on I55 in Atlanta. We got probably 10 inches of snow! I live on the edge of town so I get a little more wind. My wind chimes have finally calmed down! I am a widow, age 62, and when I moved back to this little town, I asked my nephew to buy me a good snow blower. 3 winters and it finally got some use! I learned to drive in weather like this so I don't get too worked up. My husband was a farmer so he took care of all the outside stuff and loved it. My nephew handles it for me now.
My 86 year old mother, who isn't too steady on her feet and refuses to admit it, called complaining because my brother & nephew hadn't been down to clean out her drive and "if everybody else could get out, then why can't she???" I told her we'd rather not have her breaking her hip and she replied that "at least then somebody would check on me!" *sigh* We live in a town of about 1600. We see her every day. She has no need to get out when it's slick and really, no place she needs to go...
I have enjoyed spending today being tucked up in my nice warm house looking out at my untouched back yard. I haven't even seen any squirrels or birds out today.
Jan 14, 2019 10:51AM IllinoisLady wrote:
Courage begins when we can admit that there is no life without some pain, some frustration; that there is no tragic accident to which we are immune; and that beyond the normal exercise of prudence we can do nothing about it. But courage goes on to see that the triumph of life is not in pains avoided, but in joys lived completely in the moment of their happening.Courage lies in never taking so much as a good meal or a day of health and fair weather for granted. It lies in learning to be aware of our moments of happiness as sharply as our moments of pain. We need not be afraid to weep when we have cause to weep, so long as we can really rejoice at every cause for rejoicing. -Victoria Lincoln
Jan 14, 2019 11:05AM IllinoisLady wrote:
Vanmama it certainly sounds like there is a possibility that you could have more reason to use that snow blower this coming Saturday. So, that is the five-day forecast and it could very easily change.....but it may be that snow could come sooner or not at all. Sounds like a wintery mix on Friday. Ah, good ole' no one knows for sure weather forecasting. I hope we all do fine.
I likely will be thinking more and more about those hand rails for the deck. While the big wide stairs are easy because they go up so gently, I still struggled a lot during chemo and for a couple yrs. after ( though that is now a long time back ) and do recall how often I took tumbles. I never did it on the steps thank goodness, but what I recall was always having to stop at the top or bottom and sort of mentally plan using them before I began the accent or descent. I think it could be time -- even if we don't grab on every time to seriously discover the best answer for continuing to use those stairs on a daily basis. Thankfully, we do use the front door way more often than we use too, but it doesn't and can't take the place of safety for the deck -- and that would accrue just as much to others that may come up to the deck to use it.
Sunny today, but don't know how much snow we may lose. Much was diminished in the rain we had and the fact that the following snow after was short-lived and sparse. It is still nice outside in the yard but certainly doesn't have the vibrant puffy look before the rain stole so much of it away. No bare patches though.
Hope you all have a fantastic day.