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Topic: Can we have a forum for "older" people with bc?

Forum: Older Than 60 Years Old With Breast Cancer —

Meet other women who are similar in age and dealing with age-appropriate issues.

Posted on: Feb 7, 2009 03:29PM

Northstar wrote:

I am an "older" woman with breast cancer (I was diagnosed at 65 and am now 66).  I notice that most of the posts seem to be from people younger than I am (often by quite a bit...).   I'd love to "talk" with others my age, exchange info about their diagnoses, effects on their lives, etc.   I see that there is a forum for young women.

Someone suggested that maybe it's that older people aren't so computer-savvy or aren't used to being in online discussion groups.   However, for those who are, it would be great. 

DX 8/15/08, ILC, 5.1 cm, Stage IIb, Grade 1, 0/2 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-, Oncotype DX 11.
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Mar 1, 2009 02:24PM Mary-Lou wrote:

Hello all, I just found this thread and will add to my favorites as well. Hope I'm old enough ;-).

I'm waiting on the fifth grand child. So I believe I qualify .

Here is a face to put with the name.

Photobucket

Thanks for starting this thread Northstar, it is wonderful to be here with the seasoned women.

Dx with bone mets July 15 2011 - Dx with Liver Mets July 31, 2014. Dx 9/20/2005, IDC, 6cm+, Grade 3, 4/4 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Dx 7/31/2014, Stage IV Chemotherapy 12/25/2014 Abraxane (albumin-bound or nab-paclitaxel), Methotrexate (Amethopterin, Mexate, Folex), Taxol (paclitaxel), Taxotere (docetaxel), Xeloda (capecitabine)
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Mar 1, 2009 02:30PM JO-5 wrote:

 Mary Lou!

 No you are not the grandma of four w/ one on the way! You look like a youngster yourself!  Welcome, and God bless!

JO

IDC 04 Stage 1 Grd 3 no nodes Lumpectomy rads plus boosts ER+PR+HER- AI 5 yr 2014 secondary angiosarcoma from rads lumpectomy recurrence 1 yr Mastectomy with lat flap 1/2 flap went necrotic skin graft to center of chest.
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Mar 1, 2009 02:35PM Lizette wrote:

Hi everyone,   Would like to hear from anyone that has gone through breast reconstruction after a masdectomy, especially if they have had the latissimuss dorsi flap.  Would like to know what you experienced, positive and negative outcomes.   Would you do it again if now that you have.   Are you subjected to any physical limitations.    Lizette

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Mar 1, 2009 02:41PM samedaynurseJan wrote:

Deb......that is WAY COOL.....my much smaller tribe will be here shortly. Someone had ALL girls ??????? Lovely.......we are up to our eyeballs in masculine genes.

Susan I too loved hearing your story and got a couple of goose bumps.....there is something good that comes out of everything that isnt quite so good

Gotta find the Play Doh......

A life lived in fear....is a life half lived. Dx 12/1/2008, IDC, 1cm, Stage I, Grade 2, 0/3 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-
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Mar 1, 2009 02:49PM Deb-from-Ohio wrote:

Jan, yup those are my middle daughters girls, the oldest will be 8 this year if you can believe that...I think she had them a year apart until the baby....the top right pic is all my stepgrandkids but I claim them as my own since his girls Mother passed away a couple of years ago.

Deb

Dx 10/23/2008, IDC, 3cm, Stage IIIA, Grade 2, 1/5 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-
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Mar 1, 2009 03:20PM IllinoisLady wrote:

Deb----what a great group and so attractive to boot.

Susan  I identified a little with your story....a lot in a way.  I have a son bi-polar&ADHD who is a substance abuser but now has a medical prescription for marijuana.  A computer whiz but all I can do is pray for a good life for him....already did all I could for him and it's not up to me anymore.  My 18 yr. old granddaughter was gone for 17 years.  A long story but the paternal grandparents adopted her and kept her away from the whole maternal side of her family.  Things erupted in her household at age 17 ---  she had herself placed in foster care and began a search for her real mother.  By fortune Kate was less than 10 miles away.  In this regard my joy know no limits.  Patience and faith and if it's meant to be it will happen.  Seventeen years is a long wait though.  Did not get word of this until shortly after my chemo and radiation was done and we planned a reunion.  My first vacation in 33 years and such a wonderful reason for it.  I

Jackie

Each day I am thankful for nights that turned into mornings, friends that turned into family, dreams that turned into reality and likes that turned into love. ~~~Elizabeth Kuebler-Ross Dx 9/27/2007, IDC, 5cm, Stage II, Grade 3, 0/3 nodes, ER+/PR-, HER2-
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Mar 1, 2009 03:23PM Marple wrote:

Bumping up for Lizette, I had mast but no recon so can't help.

Dx 2006, IDC, Stage IIB, Grade 2, 1/14 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-
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Mar 1, 2009 03:26PM mzmiller99 wrote:

Jan, Rita, and Mandy - Thanks for the responses.  I have finally forgiven myself (almost) for the mess I got myself in way back then.  My daughter had a wonderful life, much better than an unwed, college student from a very small town could have given her. 

Deb - What a grand group of grands!!

Bluewillow - What a cutie!!  I Besides my two human  grandboys, I have 2 grandhorses, 3grand dogs, and 5 grandcats. 

 My eldest and her husband decided not to do kids.  Drat.  And, Suzanne was unable to have children and has "steps' that she has raised since toddlers.

I smell wonderfully like horse, since I just came back from riding, but I suppose I should change into something less fragrant.Wink

Susan IMRT 09/08, Oncotype DX 15, Aromasin 03/09 Dx 6/16/2008, IDC, <1cm, Stage I, Grade 3, 0/1 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-
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Mar 1, 2009 03:33PM mzmiller99 wrote:

Oh, Jackie - we sound like sisters!  It's hard to describe the pain of seeing your child addicted to whatever it is.  My worry was that he was not only affecting his own life, but that of his wife and 5 yr. old.  Degree in IT stuff.  Brilliant, but with dyslexia, ADD, panic attacks, etc.  So many interventions when he was still living with me.

Your granddaughter story made my jaw drop!  And, only 10 miles from you!!  I'm so happy for you.

Susan

Susan IMRT 09/08, Oncotype DX 15, Aromasin 03/09 Dx 6/16/2008, IDC, <1cm, Stage I, Grade 3, 0/1 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-
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Mar 1, 2009 03:38PM Marple wrote:

Lizette, maybe a post on another board might bring some responces.  I didn't get recon so don't know where to direct you.

Dx 2006, IDC, Stage IIB, Grade 2, 1/14 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-
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Mar 1, 2009 03:59PM PhyllisCC wrote:

Wow...

So much family here!  Thanks for sharing.  That's what it's all about. Phyllis

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Mar 1, 2009 04:08PM susan_CNY wrote:

I just love this thread, I am 57 raising a 7 year old Rosaleigh and an 81 year old Patricia, also have 3 more grandsons McCuin Jakob and Michael who live in the other side of my duplex, we keep the family close. Anyone else dealing with elderly parents and grandkids in the home? cancer seems to keep on sliding in and ruining my family life.

dx 4/1984 cervical /hyst 10/2002 stage 2 colon /hemi-colectomy/5FU and Leukovorin chemo 11/2003 stage 1 bc tumor 1.6 grade 3 no nodes, possible vascular invasion / lumpectomy and rads 7/2009 lumpectomy found to be benign
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Mar 1, 2009 04:18PM - edited Mar 1, 2009 04:20PM by bluewillow

Good evening to everyone!  This topic is going so well-- I'm really enjoying reading all your posts so much!  I hadn't signed onto BC.org much lately until Northstar started this thread, now I'm on several times a day checking in here. Mods, I hope you're reading this! Smile

Rita, thanks so much for your kind words!  I'm looking forward to seeing photos of your guys!

Deb, what a GORGEOUS family!! 

Susan, what a wonderful story about your first daughter. Life can bring about so many wonderful things in times of difficulty.  I hope you get to meet her face to face soon and how awesome that reunion will be! My husband has a daughter in her 20s that we both just met for the first time about 4 years ago.  He paid child support all these years and wasn't allowed to even contact her until one day, she found him.  She lives in Washington State and she has been such a joy in our lives.  ps-horse smell is heavenly!

Springtime, are you getting snow down there in the Capitol city?  We have about 5 inches and I've heard it's heading your way... enjoy!

This may be a bit off topic-- below is a picture of the dogwood tree in my front yard.  I took the photo about 2 pm today and it is still snowing like crazy.  A heavy, very fluffy and very beautiful snow!

HUGS and love to ALL!!

Mary Jo

Nana of Mason, Hayden, and Addison~Lumpectomy, Re-excision, SNB, AC/Taxol, Radiation, 1 yr Herceptin Dx 7/26/2007, IDC, <1cm, Stage I, Grade 3, 0/4 nodes, ER-/PR-, HER2+
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Mar 1, 2009 05:04PM mzmiller99 wrote:

Mary Jo - What a wonderful story yours is, as well!  And, your tree is awesome!!  I thought that it was a pro shot, at first!

Susan_CNY - Welcome to another Susan!  I'm just dealing with an 86 yr. old mom.  She's active, still quilts, goes to church, keeps up the light housekeeping, drives, etc.  But, her negativity and complaining get me down.  I spent a whole therapy session discussing the stress of trying to live together. 

 I get so frustrated when she starts complaining about my grown kids, her grandchildren.     Otherwise, things are fine.  I just hope I don't get so negative and critical in my old age!!  Frown

Susan IMRT 09/08, Oncotype DX 15, Aromasin 03/09 Dx 6/16/2008, IDC, <1cm, Stage I, Grade 3, 0/1 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-
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Mar 1, 2009 05:05PM darsura wrote:

Lizette:  I had a mastectomy, but did not have reconstruction.  I'm sure someone who has will be along soon.

Diagnosed on 10/22/08 on my 51st birthday! Had .6 cm IDC (ER+/PR-/HER2-). Post-rightsided mastectomy learned I also had a 1.5 cm ILC (ER+/PR+/HER2-). Both stage and grade 1. 0/4 nodes. No reconstruction. Oncotype on ILC is 9. No chemo. On Arimidex. Dx 10/22/2008, ILC/IDC, Right, 1cm, Stage IA, Grade 1, 0/4 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-
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Mar 1, 2009 07:39PM artsee wrote:

Hi guys.....It took me a while to catch up on all the posts. I can't believe how fast thid thread is growing. There have got to be a huge number of us (young chicks) notice I changed from (old hens) LOL. I like the young chicks better!

Miller(Susan) The Lord works in mysterious ways. Your story about your daughter is so cool. Don't you just want to see her. I don't know if I could keep from going to see her. I have goose bumps right now. have you plans to meet at some point? Ha, I have an 87 year old mother that is stressing me out with her complaining and negativity. The glass is forever half empty. That's exactly why I'll never live with her. They'd have to put me away. But I sure can see your plight.

Well, it's late and hugs to all my "young chicks". cackle, cackle.....

Artsee

Dx 1/15/2008, IDC, Right, 1cm, Stage IA, Grade 3, 0/2 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Dx 1/15/2008, IDC, Right, 1cm, Stage IA, Grade 3, 0/2 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- (FISH) Surgery 2/6/2008 Lumpectomy: Right Hormonal Therapy 5/13/2008 Femara (letrozole) Radiation Therapy Chemotherapy AC + T (Taxotere)
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Mar 2, 2009 03:47AM kmccraw423 wrote:

Deb from Ohio - gorgeous, gorgeous, gorgeous.

Kathleen Dx 10/3/2008, DCIS, 4cm, 0/2 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-
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Mar 2, 2009 03:56AM Marple wrote:

Good morning "old" babes. 

Just to let you know Lizette, there is a Breast Reconstruction Forum.  Maybe you'd have more replies if you posted your question there.  All the best.

Gentle hugs.

Dx 2006, IDC, Stage IIB, Grade 2, 1/14 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-
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Mar 2, 2009 04:32AM mzmiller99 wrote:

Good morning to you, Sharon51, from one of the old "babes"! 

 Hope it's a marvelous Monday and a wonderful week!

Susan

Susan IMRT 09/08, Oncotype DX 15, Aromasin 03/09 Dx 6/16/2008, IDC, <1cm, Stage I, Grade 3, 0/1 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-
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Mar 2, 2009 06:24AM ritajean wrote:

Good morning everyone!  The sun is shining brightly in central Illinois today but the temperature doesn't reflect the bright rays!  It's still cold out there.  I still think all of us in cold areas should consider a visit to Binney!  LOL  Or...who else lives in a warm climate and likes company?   LOL

Thinking about you today, Peggie.  Waiting on tests and test results can be a "gut-wrenching nightmare."  Hugs to you!  We all understand the mental anguish you're going through right now.  Please let us know any results.  We do care!

I find that I handle the "after affects" and the "what ifs" of bc better if I keep my mind occupied.  Being a people person, I don't do real well when I sit at home alone with the cat several days in a row. Anyone else find that hobbies help them cope with this journey?  I bowl in three different bowling leagues which are all about over for the season.  Two are small morning coffee leagues and one is a Sunday night mixed league.  Soon I will exchange bowling for golf, although I'm not a very good golfer.  A group of 12 ladies also play Bunco one afternoon each month during the winter. Oh yes, I also read!  I scour the yard sales for books that I read all winter long and have found some pretty fantastic authors for 25 cents!  Unfortunately I'm not talented artistically so I turn to participation type activities!  So what helps you gals cope?

I could ramble on and on!  I love this thread!  However, I need to get going on some cleaning and laundry.  I'm sure I'll stop in later.  This moves so fast that you have to check in often!

Hugs to all of you........

Rita

Dx 11/21/2006, IDC, 1cm, Stage I, Grade 3, 0/4 nodes, ER-/PR+, HER2-
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Mar 2, 2009 06:35AM Joyce-PA wrote:

I am 56 (57 in June) and started tamoxifen January '08 (was pre menopausal).  I am now post-menopausal (haven't had a period since January '08).  I am still on tamoxifen and my dr. said she may keep me on it at least another year and perhaps the whole 5 years before switching to Arimidex.  Does anyone know is that is the normal protocal?

Lumpectomy 9/07; Reexcison 9/07; Rads 10/07-11/07; Started tamoxifen 1/08 Dx 6/5/2007, DCIS, 1cm, Stage 0, Grade 1, 0/0 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-
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Mar 2, 2009 07:07AM IllinoisLady wrote:

Good Morning all and Susan we do have a lot in common it seems.  My son was problems from the start ---  allergic to milk two weeks from birth and downhill after that. 

Joyce I think it is standard to use one or more different kinds of 5yr. pills.....and depending on reactions, se's etc. I think you can be on for a long time.  It is just a guess on my part, but if these medications can help prevent recurrences then I think the Dr's feel ---- use them as long as you can until hopefully something even more positive to work with comes along.  The pills are not a guarantee, but anything that can increase the possibility of positive outcome I'm going to do. 

Wishing you all a fantastic bright sunny day.

Jackie

Each day I am thankful for nights that turned into mornings, friends that turned into family, dreams that turned into reality and likes that turned into love. ~~~Elizabeth Kuebler-Ross Dx 9/27/2007, IDC, 5cm, Stage II, Grade 3, 0/3 nodes, ER+/PR-, HER2-
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Mar 2, 2009 07:10AM - edited Mar 2, 2009 07:17AM by JO-5

GOOD MORNING LADIES,

Lizette,

I agree about the Breast Recon. Forum and was going to suggest that this morning but - Sharon beat me to it ------- Just want to say ----- don't forget us here on the "old hens, young chicks, old babes" forum. Let us know how you are!

Mary Jo,

Beautiful picture --- just saw on TV this morning about all the snow your way!  The East Coast is getting blasted now - but where I am in Ohio we dodged it! Bright Sunny day but only 10 degrees!Planning a trip in May to Hatteras........ hope it is warm!  LOL

Susan,

I haven't said any thing about your posts concerning your daughter. My best friend of 40 yrs. passed away two years ago w/ a similar story but reversed. She was the adoptive parent of a son and daughter that found their birth parents. I thought a lot about your story and see the other side, now.  God bless you and your daughter and I wish you all the best when you actually see her. I really hope it goes well for everyone involved!

Jackie,

I agree with you about your son! When we as parents have done all we can do --- sometimes we have to step back - take our hands off - give them over to God and see what He will do. I have seen this with a number of our friends. It's called Tough Love and it is not always easy!

Anyone dealing w/ older parents and children! 

I could write a book on this one (DON'T WORRY - I WON'T ON HERE) LOL  Since before 1990 I began to take care of my parents - not in my home because I had to have a safe haven! I did everything for them.....Mom passed away w/ Alz. in 94 and I have been taking care of my Dad - now 86 and in a nursing home. I am an only child - he is very demanding and shortly after my dx. in 04 and he was still expecting me to do everything for him.......I was losing my mind and getting sicker every day. Long story short. He fell and broke his foot.... had to go to rehab and from there he went to assist. living and now in the nursing home part of the same facility! He is happy there - all the aides and nurses love him and he loves the attention  (except when he sees me - once a week - he is having some dementia problems and will go to his grave being angry that I did not bring him to my house)  It was the best thing that could have happened for him and us....... so if any of you have to place your parents in a facility don't feel guilty! IT IS TIME NOW FOR YOU TO TAKE CARE OF YOURSELVES. My Dad is a travel agent for guilt trips --- and I refuse to travel that way!  Now, I have time for our daughters, grands, and great grands!

God bless ---- and especially all of us dealing with stresses unrelated to the BC. Stress sure does not help.

Jan,

If you do those studies --- I will be looking forward to finding out what they are saying about stress and BC. My care team told me in 04 that I would not heal as well with stress and said I needed to reduce stress as much as possible. BUT GUESS WHAT? NOT ONE OF THEM COULD TELL ME HOW TO DO THAT! Undecided

To each and every one of you ----- Have a good day!

JO

IDC 04 Stage 1 Grd 3 no nodes Lumpectomy rads plus boosts ER+PR+HER- AI 5 yr 2014 secondary angiosarcoma from rads lumpectomy recurrence 1 yr Mastectomy with lat flap 1/2 flap went necrotic skin graft to center of chest.
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Mar 2, 2009 07:45AM Northstar wrote:

There are so many great pictures that have been posted, and stories about your lives.  I don't even know where to start.  Peggie, I do hope there is good news, and if not, know that you have many friends here to share it. 

We here in the Northeast have had a lot of snow overnight and into the morning, but it seems to have stopped in Massachusetts now.  It's really beautiful, but frankly, I would prefer green grass and daffodils.  Maybe in a few weeks.   I envy all of you in warm climates.

How do I keep my mind occupied and not dwell on bc?  As I've grown older I've developed a lot of activities.  I work 15 hours a week (our office is closed today for the snow), and am a potter who makes bowls, mugs, plates, and casseroles mostly.   I sell these at shows and, although I will never be able to support myself (or anybody else) doing this, it is a lot of fun.  I also belong to two book groups, a church group, and I love to spend time with my kids and grandkids.   Not to mention my cat.   We can play, "Where's Pippin"? for 15 minutes or more... I like to garden and mostly grow flowers and flowering trees.  We have bird feeders (suet, thistle seed, and sunflower seed) and watching the different kinds of birds is very interesting.   I like to walk in conservation areas near our house or just around our neighborhood (in nicer weather, I must admit).    My husband and I like to go to our art museum and other museums (in the not-nice weather).  

What are you doing today if you're inside because of the snow? 

DX 8/15/08, ILC, 5.1 cm, Stage IIb, Grade 1, 0/2 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-, Oncotype DX 11.
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Mar 2, 2009 07:50AM Springtime wrote:

Wow!!! THanks for the Welcome, at 51 I feared I may be too "young". LOL.Yes, I am in AARP!!!

This is a very active forum!!! Just to show "old babes" are rockin!

All your grand kids are GORGEOUS!!! I have two daughters, 16 and 19, so don't want to rush the grands, I'll just gaze at all your pics!!!

Springtime...

Psalm 91: 14-16 "Because she loves me," says the LORD, "I will rescue her; I will protect her, for she acknowledges my name. She will call upon me, and I will answer her; I will be with her in trouble, I will deliver her and honor her. W long life... Dx 7/10/2008, IDC, Stage II, Grade 2, 0/3 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-
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Mar 2, 2009 08:04AM JO-5 wrote:

Northstar,

Pottery! Sounds like fun! That is one thing I've never done -- but have watched it being done.

Okay, here is how I keep occupied -  I determined about 20 years ago to try to learn something new every year!  I have done every kind of needle work there is. I make jewelry, and have sold a lot!  I've done calligraphy/ oil painting/ one- stroke painting ala Donna Dewbury/ and I read a LOT - mostly Historical Fiction and Biographies, in addition to the Bible. I used to plant and work in a lot of flowers -- but the knees won't allow that much any more ---- so we've planted mostly perennials.

We also have bird feeders/ upside down thistle feeders/ and suet feeders - I enjoy sitting on the deck in Summer with my morning coffee and watching the critters! Just sure wish it would warm up and stop snowing so I can do that!  I'm not a Snow and Winter person and this is getting old! LOL

I would be interested in reading more of how you ladies keep busy. I know a lot of you still work but you still need some leisure time!

JO

IDC 04 Stage 1 Grd 3 no nodes Lumpectomy rads plus boosts ER+PR+HER- AI 5 yr 2014 secondary angiosarcoma from rads lumpectomy recurrence 1 yr Mastectomy with lat flap 1/2 flap went necrotic skin graft to center of chest.
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Mar 2, 2009 08:10AM kmccraw423 wrote:

Jo-5 - I loved your comment about your Dad being a travel agent for guilt trips!  My Grandmother was in the same business, bless her heart!

Kathleen Dx 10/3/2008, DCIS, 4cm, 0/2 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-
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Mar 2, 2009 08:15AM JO-5 wrote:

 Binney4,

 I've been meaning to answer your post where you asked about stay at home moms. (I think it was you, and am too lazy to go back and make sure!) but ------

For most of my married life - I was a stay at home wife and mother. I never worked outside the home until I reached my 40's.  My husband was self employed at the time and was down because of surgery. Things got tough - so being a seamstress all my grown life - I went to work in an alterations and repair shop. I've done everything from altering men's suits to beading wedding gowns. During that time I also worked part time in a very exclusive fabric shop (only sold top line material and Pendleton Wools -  everything I made there went back into material! LOL)

I did that for about 6 years...... and was happy to quit -------- so my heart goes out to you ladies still in the work force --- I admire you and am awed at how you can continue through treatment. God bless you all!

Binney, you and I may be the last of a dying breed ---- because I don't know any younger women that don't have to work. All of our daughters and grand daughters work full time jobs.

JO

IDC 04 Stage 1 Grd 3 no nodes Lumpectomy rads plus boosts ER+PR+HER- AI 5 yr 2014 secondary angiosarcoma from rads lumpectomy recurrence 1 yr Mastectomy with lat flap 1/2 flap went necrotic skin graft to center of chest.
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Mar 2, 2009 08:17AM Deb-from-Ohio wrote:

Hi Jo

   What do I do to stay busy?  Geez I've crocheted for years, done silk flowers, plastic canvas, cross stitch, I read alot too, usually stuff like Danielle Steel, but my daughter gave me the Twilight books so been reading those, they're not bad... most recently, have gotten into making candles (Soy and regular).........oh and I brought something back from the 70's......Been doing Macrame. Found a bunch of patterns on Ebay for it, couldn't believe it! Love planting flowers and all but since I'm in Ohio too you know that's not possible right now.........We have a pergola with Wisteria that grows on it right outside the patio doors, have bird feeders out there, love watching the birds............and you're going to laugh, but I've been playing the Sims 2 on the computer, don't really play it per se' just like to build the houses and furnish them! LOL.............

Hugs

Deb

Dx 10/23/2008, IDC, 3cm, Stage IIIA, Grade 2, 1/5 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-
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Mar 2, 2009 08:18AM Deb-from-Ohio wrote:

Oh and if anyone else wants to get into Macrame, don't buy the patterns, will be glad to scan and email them to whoever wants them!

Dx 10/23/2008, IDC, 3cm, Stage IIIA, Grade 2, 1/5 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-

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