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Topic: Can we have a forum for "older" people with bc?

Forum: Older Than 60 Years Old With Breast Cancer —

Meet other women who are similar in age and dealing with age-appropriate issues.

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Posted on: Feb 7, 2009 06:29PM

Northstar wrote:

I am an "older" woman with breast cancer (I was diagnosed at 65 and am now 66).  I notice that most of the posts seem to be from people younger than I am (often by quite a bit...).   I'd love to "talk" with others my age, exchange info about their diagnoses, effects on their lives, etc.   I see that there is a forum for young women.

Someone suggested that maybe it's that older people aren't so computer-savvy or aren't used to being in online discussion groups.   However, for those who are, it would be great. 

DX 8/15/08, ILC, 5.1 cm, Stage IIb, Grade 1, 0/2 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-, Oncotype DX 11.
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Feb 24, 2009 08:15PM mikita5 wrote:

I haven't seen anyone in this "oldie" group who's had bilat mx and DIEP flap reconstruction. Anyone??  I'm scheduled Mar 30 for this and it scarier the closer it gets!!

I'm 56, diagnosed first of Jan 09. Married, second time around. . Two grown kids,  two stepsons and 8 grandkids. Oldest g'kid is 12, the youngest is 18 months. My hubby had heart attack and bipass in September 08. Went to doc to day, extremely tired lately and they're sending him back to the heart doctor.

You know, just last night, I thanked God that I got hubby nursed back to health. Now, he can nurse me back  after my surgeries, but now, with the threat of a recurrence to him, I'm panicking.. My daughter has 3 kids, in another state and HAS to work, so I don't know what we'll do if we're both down at the same time......Please say a prayer that he's ok and don't have to go thru another by pass or anything.

You ladies are fantastic! God bless everyone of you.

If God leads you TO it, he'll lead you THRU it! Dx 1/2/2008, DCIS, 1cm, Stage 0, Grade 3, 0/1 nodes, ER+
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Feb 24, 2009 08:17PM Deb-from-Ohio wrote:

Hello Ladies

   I'm Deb, 53 yrs old..was diagnosed last year on my daughters birthday, the day before mine...still going through treatment. I've had 4 tx of A/C every other week and today did the 8th of 12 weekly Taxols. I don't like the Taxol. After that it's a lumpectomy and I assume a lymph  node job, then radiation, then Arimidex. But, good news is the onc can't find the lumps in my breast or under my arm anymore, so that's awesome!

  I had a total hysterectomy back in 1993 due to Endo..Was on Estratest (HRT) ever since until I was diagnosed and now have the WORSE hot flashes....I wake up at night and my entire body from head down to knee's is just dripping...really hate them.

  For the women that said they were cold at night, I have a mattress heater on my bed, couldn't live without it...it gets really warm at your feet and gradually cools down as it goes up towards your head, it's super nice and nice to have if you have a cold bedroom like we do!

  Well hope to meet some new friends in this one! You all take care.

Hugs and prayers

Deb

Dx 10/23/2008, IDC, 3cm, Stage IIIA, Grade 2, 1/5 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-
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Feb 24, 2009 08:27PM - edited Feb 24, 2009 08:33PM by JO-5

 MIKITA5,

 I HEAR YOU! and I will pray for you! It is really scary, isn't it?

Among other things and besides being a little bit of a nut ----- I am a woman of faith and I believe in prayer. When I get scared and that happens more often than I like to admit --- I try to remember how far God has brought me and know that He knows all about it and is still in control - if we let Him be.

God be with you and hubby. Maybe he is just feeling fatigued and tired because of the stress and worry with your dx. It is hard on the ones that love us and stand by, as you well know from nursing him back to health.

I can't help you about the bilat mx and DIEP flap reconstruction. Don't know anything about that. I do however know myself and I THINK - not 100% sure - that I would not have the reconstruction, but perhaps there are others on here that do know and if there are you can be sure they will answer your questions!

DEB FROM OHIO! I'm from Ohio, too - between Akron and Cleveland- out in the country!

welcome and we will be watching to find out how you are doing!  I can't use the heated bed thingie ----- not good for the LE!

good night --------- again!

JO

IDC 04 Stage 1 Grd 3 no nodes Lumpectomy rads plus boosts ER+PR+HER- AI 5 yr 2014 secondary angiosarcoma from rads lumpectomy recurrence 1 yr Mastectomy with lat flap 1/2 flap went necrotic skin graft to center of chest.
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Feb 24, 2009 08:56PM samedaynurseJan wrote:

*smilin* at Jo.....night night.....I was afraid you would say that about the mammo heebie jeebies , all I wanted to do was do my *stuff* and be done with it, I actually used to believe that was how things went *rolling eyes* now as a part of the sisterhood that discriminates against no one, I realize its never over done with gone.......I didnt realize we ever switched back to screening mammos, I thought we stayed diagnostic, another lesson learned. 

Mikita I will think good thoughts and keep you and DH in my prayers too....I will hope this all works out and that maybe a med to increase cardiac output or an adjustment in meds is all your hubby needs. I understand your fears though, a week after my Rads finished my husband was in a freak accident driving home that the police said  nearly always results in serious injury and the thought of getting through things with us both in issues was overwhelming

Deb....we will all be pulling for you and will be here for you as you finish up your treatment and surgery so you too can join the Arimidex Brigade....you know, the belly fat and cholesterol issues *s* Congratulations on the disappearing lumps !!!!!!

jan

A life lived in fear....is a life half lived. Dx 12/1/2008, IDC, 1cm, Stage I, Grade 2, 0/3 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-
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Feb 24, 2009 09:21PM Deb-from-Ohio wrote:

Jo I'm about 30 miles east of Cincinnati, out in the country too, small town called Loveland...OH LORD I pray I don't get the LE..........I can't live without my mattress heater...our room is so cold and that bed is just freezing, you actually get chills in it without the heater!

Jan  LOL I already have the belly fat...I DID just have a baby 27 yrs ago today.  LOL.......and hope my cholesterol doesn't go up...so far it's been ok..

Hugs

Deb

Dx 10/23/2008, IDC, 3cm, Stage IIIA, Grade 2, 1/5 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-
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Feb 24, 2009 10:12PM - edited Feb 24, 2009 10:17PM by karol61

Hello all you strong ladiesCool

Thanks for the birthday wishes, I had the day off!!!! I felt so old last year after turning the big 60. My oncology team told me I'll probably live until I'm 90, hope I can retire before then LOL

Hot flashes and night sweats have diminished since I started on Tamoxifen(7/07) Since starting it I've been taking Clonidine. 

Karoline 

Dx 3/22/2007, DCIS, 1cm, Stage 0, Grade 2, 0/0 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2+
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Feb 24, 2009 10:48PM GramE wrote:

Good Evening.  Tomorrow I am going to the recreation center to play bridge for 4 hours, with a break for lunch.   We bring a bag lunch and talk, otherwise we talk very little during the games.   We are all "seasoned" and most times one man joins our group.   He has colon cancer and is still going thru chemo.  

I am retired.  When my husband had cancer, I quit work and never went back.  He died almost 6 years ago, so I took Widow's social security at age 60 and this is my 4th year of getting it ( I was 63 in January).   The good thing is having that money automatically appear in my checking account every month and I do not even have to go out of the apartment...!!!    

JO, I bet I could match you with allergies.  They do not all fit on my medic alert bracelt, so it says MULTIPLE ALLERGIES, see wallet card.    I have taken (large) return address labels and printed my allergies on them and carry in my purse.   When asked..  I just peel off one and stick on the form.   

Have a good rest of the week and keep smiling:  It makes them wonder what you are thinking !!

HUGS,  Nancy 

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Feb 25, 2009 06:49AM - edited Feb 28, 2009 10:07AM by Peggle

Hello everyone.  I just found this thread by accident!  I'm 58...almost 59!  I think like I'm still a kid, but I'm old and fat.  Have the biggest jelly belly.  If I wasn't so old, I would look pregnant.  I still have hot flashes.  Started when I was 45 y/o.  The person who is opening the window in the middle of the night when its 10 degrees out?  That would be me.  Nice to meet all of you and I look forward to being part of this thread.  Going to save it to my favorites right now.

I'm er/pr negative so I don't have any aromatase inhibitors to blame!  Just oldWink

Enjoy life one day at a time
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Feb 25, 2009 07:10AM Snowbird wrote:

Hello again! Glad to see so many additions to the thread! It makes for great middle of the night, insomniac reading... another great benefit of being PM!

Mzmiller, thanks for the good wishes. I am so ready to get this behind me and bury it so deep in the memory bank that when the dementia starts it'll be the first thing to go... I might have that backwards!?!?!

SameDay, yes I am a snowbird from Central Wisconsin. My DH and I spend summers there. We're both retired now and after a lifetime in the upper midwest, my first request was to never again see another snowflake! I was actually diagnosed up there, but chose to get treatment down here because I just knew I'd recuperate better where I can replenish my Vitamin D by beachwalking in winter vs. watching the snow fly and the temperature drop into below zero territory. I chose to do chemo because my Oncotype score was 26 (17% chance of recurrence). To me, that meant that it might do me some good and I wanted to be as aggressive as I could possibly be. My onc, a gorgeous fresh face from Moffitt in Tampa suggested that, since I was still YOUNG (flattery, oh what a nice surprise!), it was worth treating with 4 rounds of T/C which he said is newer, "better" (?) and more easily tolerated. Four rounds didn't sound quite so scary to me and I was anxious to start so I could FINISH, which I'm just about to do. He felt that, even tho I had a mastectomy (former smoker, wanted to avoid needing radiation), my grade was "angry" and chemo, along with the AI would reduce my chance of recurrence to well below 10% and that my immune system could take over the job from there. He said "we all have cancer" and normally, our immune systems take care of it, so that made me feel better. His advice to pamper the immune system? Eat right (we do), and exercise (I haven't so much). I guess that'll have to change...  I'm a member of the belly fat club too...  Hope that's not TMI!

Meanwhile, everyone have a great day today, whatever you do! Cheers,

Gayle.

DX 10/15/2008, ILC, 2cm, Stage IIa, Grade 2, 0/3 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- OncotypDX=26(17%) BiLat DIEP (1-delayed, 1-immediate) 12/8/09, Stage 2 10/22/10 w/Craigie/Charleston COURAGE IS NOT THE ABSENCE OF FEAR, IT'S ACTING IN SPITE OF IT!
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Feb 25, 2009 07:44AM GramE wrote:

If I "have" to describe myself, I use the words "buddah belly"...   Age, laziness, steroids, -- who knows the reason ?   Even losing 16 pounds has not taken any off that part of my body.   However, my earlobes are very tiny and just about perfect !!!!!!   

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Feb 25, 2009 07:58AM kmccraw423 wrote:

PaulaLS - if you had planned to retire at 62 and Medicare won't kick in until you are 65 and COBRA only lasts 18 months how would you be covered the other 18 months?  I'm asking because I can't find another insurance carrier for less than over $800 a month with my pre-existing conditions.  Does your employer allow you to carry it until Medicare kicks in?

Kathleen Dx 10/3/2008, DCIS, 4cm, 0/2 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-
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Feb 25, 2009 08:08AM GramE wrote:

If you retire, some companies will carry you until Medicare kicks in.  Not all, but I have heard some will even carry you AFTER it kicks in.  Something you might want to "negotiate".   

Kathleen, careful with the "pre existing" clause on insurance policies.  Some put an annual cap on what they will pay out and it can be deceiving.   The "salesman" will tell you one thing, but when you get the actual policy, it is very different.   And where you can get treatments or choice of doctors and specialists.   Referrals from a primary doctor may be needed and you need a very good working relationship with the primary to avoid having to go in for an appointment with him/her each time you need a referral, such as for a MUGA or mammo.   Just MY experience and input on it.   

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Feb 25, 2009 08:48AM PaulaLS wrote:

Hi Kathleen,  Your math is right.  Cobra would only last for only 18 months but my employer does permit us to keep our medical insurance, if we retire, until age 65 if we pay the premiums.  So, that is a real blessing and a choice I will look into.

Actually, I wasn't considering retiring until my BC Dx.  Now, it seems like it may be time.  Priorities have changed.  Retirement (with much less income) can't be as scary as a BC diagnosis.

Paula Dx 11/11/2009, IDC, <1cm, Stage I, Grade 1, 0/1 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-
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Feb 25, 2009 10:43AM JO-5 wrote:

 Well Good Morning, Ladies!

-- and welcome to the new ones on this thread - enjoyed reading every one since I signed off last night! 

 I can't help much w/ the ins. because I quit working many years ago and hubby is retired, but we have good coverage! I just hit the gap last year and had to pay a LOT for my meds and since the DR. wants me on Arimidex another two years I will probably hit it again! I also have to use Restasis for dry eyes - thanks to age and Arimidex and that stuff costs an arm and a leg!

Nancy,

That is a wonderful idea about the address labels --- never thought of that. I am going to do the same thing. Thanks!  You cracked me up w/ the perfect ear lobes!  LOL  Now, I have to go take inventory and see if I can find anything "perfect."

DEB,

My last baby was 40 yrs ago ---- think I could blame the belly fat on that?  Guess not!  It's Arimidex - that's my story and I'm sticking to it!

Those of you - still in treatment - thinking of you - praying for you and wishing you well! 

 BTW, I still haven't had a "call back" from the Imaging Center. No news is good news!

Jan,

I asked the Dr. what the difference was between a diagnostic and screening and he says - there is no difference in the mammogram and that when he asks for a diagnostic he just means that he wants the results right then. When they do a diagnostic the radiologist always tells me the results.  That is nice to know right away..... but hard on the nerves, too.

The last diagnostic was when I got hit by a door (true story) on that breast and the bruising never went away and months later it got really red and swollen and hurt! I had a diagnostic and  ultra sound and a punch biopsy to find out it was inflammation and LE from radiation. (Dr. didn't tell them about the trauma to the breast because he didn't want them to dismiss it as only that -- so they would look for cancer)  Thank God -- it was not cancer, again. I do have a Technicolor breast w/ two very large scars.

Everyone have a great day!

JO

IDC 04 Stage 1 Grd 3 no nodes Lumpectomy rads plus boosts ER+PR+HER- AI 5 yr 2014 secondary angiosarcoma from rads lumpectomy recurrence 1 yr Mastectomy with lat flap 1/2 flap went necrotic skin graft to center of chest.
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Feb 25, 2009 11:07AM sydpen2 wrote:

Add me to the list here.   A young senior?  54..... Guess I'm on Aarp so that says I'm one of the gang....lol   

Stage 4 mets to liver and bone and hanging right in there.   And I too am still working teaching middle school students.  Fortunately I haven't missed too many days except for treatment days.  Not that I sure haven't wanted to stay home in bed in the mornings.  When that alarm goes off I just lay there wondering what kind of a morning it will be.  But you just push and make yourself go!  Figure I can feel crappy at work as well as if I were home. 

Glad this thread was started.  I should be shifting to Arimidex once I finally get my liver counts down to the magic number they are searching for.  I was on it 5 years ago and the only side affect I had was serious joint issues in my knees.  Had to stop so I could bend!  Anyhow, hoping this time will be better now that I know what to expect and will try to stay ahead of the game with more exercise and walking.  

All you have a great day!

Debbie

Dx 6/19/2008, Stage IV, 0/3 nodes, mets, ER+/PR+, HER2-
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Feb 25, 2009 11:08AM swimangel72 wrote:

mikita5 - last year, at the age of 53, I underwent a unilaterial skin-sparing mx followed by an immediate muscle-sparing free tram (on my right breast). It was very scary - up until the morning of surgery when I was very calm. Unfortunately, I presented with a 100.6 fever and should have been sent home but the anesthesiologist said my lungs were clear and so I had a seven hour surgery. Everything seemed fine until Day 7 - when I had to return to the hospital with fever and shortness of breath. Turns out I ended up getting infected with MRSA - which caused all sorts of problems with my abdominal incision. I ended up having to stay an additional 2 weeks in the hospital (a total of 3 weeks counting the first week of my surgery) - I was on very strong IV antibiotics - then I was sent home and had to continue for another week on Zyvox (very strong oral antibiotics). I had so many doctors' appointments after that - I've lost track. So yes - you are right to be scared - I'm not trying to make you MORE scared - but to prepare you that anything can go wrong with this surgery, even with the best surgeons and hospitals. I hope your husband will be better and able to care for you.........if not, think about having a visiting nurse come to your house afterwards possibly to help you with the drains. I'll be praying for you - that you come through your surgery with no complications and for your husband too. May God watch over both of you!
3/3/08 Right-side mastectomy with immediate muscle-sparing free tram; 3/9/08 Developed abdominal MRSA staph infection and hernia;Completed 4 months Navelbine and 1 year Herceptin; Arimidex - 3 more years! Diagnosed at age 53 Dx 2/5/2008, IDC, Right, <1cm, Stage IB, Grade 1, 0/7 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2+ (FISH)
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Feb 25, 2009 11:46AM JO-5 wrote:

 sydpen2 (Debbie)

 Since you were on Arimidex -- five years ago -- I'm supposing you were dx w/ BC then? The clear nodes threw me. My Dr. said it goes to the nodes first - then spreads..... but I know it can also spread through the blood.  If you don't mind me asking -- what was the size, etc. of your BC and were you about 49 at dx?  God bless you -- you must be a strong lady -- makes me feel like a whimp! I will be praying for you, too.

swimangel,

You have really been through a lot, too!  How are you doing, now?  Somewhere back in this thread I think I remember that you are looking at more surgery ---- or is that my Arimidex brain?

I hope they are sure the MRSA is gone. Is there some way to check that before you have surgery again?

God bless!

JO

IDC 04 Stage 1 Grd 3 no nodes Lumpectomy rads plus boosts ER+PR+HER- AI 5 yr 2014 secondary angiosarcoma from rads lumpectomy recurrence 1 yr Mastectomy with lat flap 1/2 flap went necrotic skin graft to center of chest.
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Feb 25, 2009 02:12PM reba1717 wrote:

Hi there,

I don't exactly qualify for this thread, but My mom is 71, recently dx (Jan 09) with ILC. I am very curious to know how much age plays a factor when choosing therapies like chemo.

Initially, We thought it was 2 tumors, 2cm each, but the lumpectomy found 1 tumor and 1 lymphnode. When pathology came back, The sentinal node was also positive- and the tumor was 6 cm not 2!

So, last week she had a modified radical mast. on her left breast. She goes to the dr in an hour to get her drain out and get the pathology from the mast. I am a nervous wreck! I guess because each time she goes, we find out that it is "more" than what we had expected..

Anyway, I would love to hear from others as to whether age played a role in either your decision making of treatment or that of your oncologist. Any help would be greately appreciated!

 Thank you!!!

Rebecca Johnson in CA

Rebecca Johnson, Im 32 yr old daughter of a Mom (71- a very young 71) dx w/ lobular BC Jan 2009. Lumpectomy, discovered 6 cm tumor, 8/12 nodes positive, ER+, PR+, Her-2 Neg... Mastectomy 2/09. Drain not cooperating.. waiting for AC-T
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Feb 25, 2009 02:43PM kmccraw423 wrote:

Age was not a consideration for me.  I think on another thread I outlined my reasoning.  Bear in mind that I did not need chemo or rads - but it would not have made a difference.  I would have made the same choice.  My reasoning was:

Breast with Cancer - bloody nipple discharge, DCIS, no specific "lump."  A lumpectomy would be very iffy since there was no lump and getting clear edges would be chancey.  They would have to take my nipple whether it was mastectomy or lumpectomy.  With a lumpectomy I would have to have radiation treatment.  Getting a mastectomy made so much more sense.  Extremely little chance of it coming back and by the time they did what I think would have been a radical lumpectomy and removed my nipple I would have had to have PS there anyway.

Other Breast - Because I was 61 when diagnosed and my breasts had been heading south for a while, I knew that following a mastectomy they would have to do some surgery (a lift at least) on the other side and there was still the opportunity of it spreading.  I opted for a bilateral mastectomy.  As it turned out, the final path report showed very early DCIS on the other side.

Except for the complications trying to reconstruct, I have no regrets about my decision.  I don't know how many years I have left on this Earth but I sure don't want to waste them worrying about breast cancer.

Good luck to you and your Mom.  Gentle hugs.

Kathleen Dx 10/3/2008, DCIS, 4cm, 0/2 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-
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Feb 25, 2009 03:00PM Sierra wrote:

Hi there..

you are, My family is in a N. Home

anyway, tks to the sister who started this thread

and Ill keep checking back

Namaste

Sierra :))

hope we can get something going here

The Time is Now! Dx 1/2000, 3cm, Stage IIB, Grade 3, 1/14 nodes, ER-/PR-
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Feb 25, 2009 03:20PM swimangel72 wrote:

JO-5 - you have an amazing memory - Arimidex hasn't slowed it down at all! Thanks for asking about me - yes I'm looking at Stage 2 revision repairs on March 16th.........IF the Infectious Disease doctor gives me the all-clear (I won't know until March 12th) - and if I have a good electrocardiogram (again I won't know until March 12th.) I don't care if they have to postpone this outpatient surgery - I waited this long, I can wait longer - as long as I don't have to worry about getting another MRSA infection. God bless all my sisters here!

3/3/08 Right-side mastectomy with immediate muscle-sparing free tram; 3/9/08 Developed abdominal MRSA staph infection and hernia;Completed 4 months Navelbine and 1 year Herceptin; Arimidex - 3 more years! Diagnosed at age 53 Dx 2/5/2008, IDC, Right, <1cm, Stage IB, Grade 1, 0/7 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2+ (FISH)
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Feb 25, 2009 03:25PM Motherof7 wrote:

I take Fosamax once a week. I also take Calcium with Vitamin D and iron, Centrum multi-vitamins. I never wanted to have to take pills everyday, but looks like I will have to. The walking does help to fight off the fatigue. I have a neighbor who lives across the street, his name is George, he has cancer in his knees, but he won't go to the Dr. He doesn't have any children, and his wife died about 14 years ago, I stop by and visit with him each day just so he knows someone does care. I have been trying to talk him into going to the Dr. but so far I have convinced him to do so. He's 77 and says he's lived a good life. Please pray for him when you pray.

Dx 12/8/2008, 1cm, Stage I, 0/3 nodes, HER2+
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Feb 25, 2009 03:36PM Marple wrote:

Mother, what a kind neighbour you are.  I hope George isn't in a lot of pain although I can't imagine he's not.  It sounds like he's had enough of life?  Poor soul.  Sending prayers.

Dx 2006, IDC, Stage IIB, Grade 2, 1/14 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-
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Feb 25, 2009 03:52PM - edited Feb 25, 2009 04:00PM by JO-5

 REBECCA,

Of course you belong! You have questions about your 71 yr. old Mom and most of us (perhaps  because of our ages) know what it is like to be a caretaker!  It is not easy!

  I made my decision on treatment this way. I prayed for wisdom for my Drs./ myself and hubby. When all my Drs. agreed on the course of treatment I decided to go with it. I had said all my grown life that if I was ever dx. w/ BC I would just have a mastectomy. Well, I didn't.

I would not think that 71 would deter me from having whatever the care team thought was best, because 71 is not old! My 83 yr. old aunt was dx. w/ BC with node involvement when she was 81. She refused radiation because she was afraid. Last Summer she had a recurrence on her chest wall-- had it removed and went through radiation w/ flying colors! She is fine now and out going again and enjoying life!  That is not going to help you and your mom ---- but just wanted you to know older age should not be a factor in treatment  - in my opinion.

Kathleen,

It sure sounds like you made the right decision for yourself. It just goes to show we are all different and my belief is that after prayer ----- listen to the experts and your own gut!

Sierra,

 I'm sorry but I'm not real sure I understood your post --- but will tell you that my Father is in a nursing home. I took care of him and my mother for over 7 years until she passed away w/ Alz. in 1994. Took care of him until 05 - even a year after my dx. It got to be too much and was the best thing I could have done for him and myself! When I speak of caretaker burnout -- I know what I'm talking about! If you have some questions ---- some of us will be able to answer - I hope.

swinangel,

I will be thinking of you and praying the MRSA is GONE!

Motherof7,

It sounds like your neighbor has given up and that is sad...... God bless you for visiting him and I will remember both of you in prayer! You may be the only joy in his life! Have you thought about contacting one of the groups for Senior Care? We have one here called Visiting Angels and they go to the home.

Bye, all! Smile

JO

IDC 04 Stage 1 Grd 3 no nodes Lumpectomy rads plus boosts ER+PR+HER- AI 5 yr 2014 secondary angiosarcoma from rads lumpectomy recurrence 1 yr Mastectomy with lat flap 1/2 flap went necrotic skin graft to center of chest.
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Feb 25, 2009 05:47PM mikita5 wrote:

Lefty: I thought you had to be 62 to collect ss from a spouse??

If God leads you TO it, he'll lead you THRU it! Dx 1/2/2008, DCIS, 1cm, Stage 0, Grade 3, 0/1 nodes, ER+
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Feb 25, 2009 05:57PM Binney4 wrote:

Swimangel, man! What an ordeal! I'm praying already about March 12 and March 16.

Motherof7, praying for you also, that you won't become discouraged by your neighbor's choices. It's hard to watch, but he is entitled to his own decisions. I too wonder about his pain level. Perhaps that will drive him to seek help? Hope so!

Rebecca, when you go to doctor appointments with your mom, don't be afraid to ask if any recommendation is being made because of her age. Or to put it another way, ask, "If my mom was 20 years younger, would you recommend the same thing?" BC.org did have a study posted awhile back about older women not getting best treatment options because some doctors didn't offer them to older women, so unless you're sure her doctors are on board with this, do ask. And on the other hand of course, if she has other complicating conditions (heart problems, say) there may be good reasons why some treatments are not an option for her now. Rebecca, you and your mom are definitely due for some GOOD news this time!

Be well,
Binney

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Feb 25, 2009 06:04PM mikita5 wrote:

Swimangel: Thanks for your story. I'm so sorry you had to go thru all of that.

I am aware of all of the bad possibilities. I've read some good stories and some horror stories. I know we're all prone to infection when there's surgery, along with lots of other bad situations.

My oncologist, this evening, tried to talk me out of the surgery. She says I should just do radiation and tamoxifen and leave the rest in God's hands.  She told me lots of marriages break up when a woman goes thru with a mx. She said it wasn't just my decision but both mine and hubby's . Excuse me...... but I don't see it that way. If he loves me, he'll stick by me no matter what I choose. I feel it's happening to MY body, and it's MY decision. I stuck by him with his heart attack because I love him and I hope he'll do the same for me.

I hadn't thought about a home nurse, so thanks for the suggestion. I certainly will look into that. And mostly, thanks for your prayers. I'm on so many Church prayer lists around here.  I feel certain that's the reason I have DCIS non-invasive bc.  I'm blessed to have another chance and feel I'm making the right decision (for my sanity and peace of mind).

God bless us all! 

If God leads you TO it, he'll lead you THRU it! Dx 1/2/2008, DCIS, 1cm, Stage 0, Grade 3, 0/1 nodes, ER+
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Feb 25, 2009 06:35PM mzmiller99 wrote:

Yes, Jan - congrats on the weight loss!  I'm just recycling the same 20 lbs over and over!  Right now, it has decided to be belly fat!  I can flap it like an apron,which would be funny, if it weren't my tummy!! 

I lost that same 20 lbs. last summer during all of the turmoil...it was easy to stop eating.  It felt like the only thing I could control back then.  Drat.  I rather liked being told how thin I looked.  Frown  If I could only have

Susan IMRT 09/08, Oncotype DX 15, Aromasin 03/09 Dx 6/16/2008, IDC, <1cm, Stage I, Grade 3, 0/1 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-
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Feb 25, 2009 06:36PM mzmiller99 wrote:

kept it off!!  Gotta watch those fingers!

Susan IMRT 09/08, Oncotype DX 15, Aromasin 03/09 Dx 6/16/2008, IDC, <1cm, Stage I, Grade 3, 0/1 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-
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Feb 25, 2009 06:48PM GramE wrote:

mikita:   It may have changed, but at the time I was age 60, I qualified for widows social security -- had to think what year that was --- 2006.   Cannot have remarried and the oddest question was asked:  " have you ever declared a vow of poverty" - I had to have them repeat it 3 times.   I was married and had worked my own 40 quarters, besides being the widow.   Go figure.   

As one ages, metabolism slows down - some meds do not work the same in an "older" body as they do in a younger one.   And some meds are not recommended for the same reasons.   Write down any questions and if possible, make a copy and hand to the doctor so he/she can address each of them individually.   Do NOT Be afraid to ask.  If you get any guff about it,  ask him/her who should you ask?    

I got the idea of using address labels for my allergy list after typing out several copies and carrying scotch tape.  MUCH easier with the labels.   I recommend having a list on your fridge and on the back of your front door - in case an ambulance is ever needed.   Name & phone # of doctor is good also.  

My mom is 95, in a veteran's nursing home because she was in the NAVY during WWII, as was my Dad.   I am the reason she had to leave the NAVY !!   I am familiar with the caregiver routine, with both of them, and with my husband when he had cancer.  

Keep posting and asking and telling AND have a great evening.   HUGS,  Nancy 

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