After Memorial day I had a CT- chest/pelvis/abdomen. It was totally routine ordered by my MO since I was done with Rad in Feb and coming up on one year since surgery. I get the test, then I wait- tech said doctor should have results next day. I didn't hear from Doc so I sent message on the app. Next day the office calls to schedule a Telehealth visit to go over my results. That's new and that freaked me out right there, but now I know this is their new system. All phone calls go thru this whole procedure now where I have to go thru this long list of cancer symptoms before speaking to the doctor. Anyway the Doc was not my doc she was on vaca. The Doc was not very familiar with my history. In hindsight I should not have gotten a test while my MO was out of town. Anyway he skims my history and then goes over the results b/c I'm riddled with anxiety= near panic attack.
The results 2 new findings. 1 lung nodule 5mm and some sort of nodularity looking thingy in the upper sternum area - nothing in any bone or organs. Everything clean. Doc says don't worry follow up scan in 3 months, but all looks good enjoy life, Radiologist have to note everything b/c of cancer history and if I didn't have that , then they wouldn't even bother follow up scan. And my doc will probs also call me when she gets back. OK.
Then the other day while I'm out for a run - doc office calls to schedule a PET for me. I, freaked out, plead to talk to the doctor. Then again they have to do the whole telehealth visit set up thing.
I get to talk to the doctor. My doc says b/c I am BRCA 2 she wants to do the PET re. the upper sternum nodoularity thickening thing. I asked a bunch of questions and she said if not for BRCA2 she would just wait 3 months do CT. I ask her if she can says if it is likely or not likely cancer. I didn't expect an answer to this question b/c my MO doesn't like prognosticate. But this time she says it's not likely cancer. Could be something related to post chemo or radiation changes or who knows.
I know , I know this should be very reassuring for me and I should schedule the PET scan and get it over. I have no symptoms of anything. I had cancer removed in Jun 2019 and the only area the found was the OG tumor and micromets in 1 node. Then I had all the scans and nothing else was found, then I had radiation, nothing weird there. then I had a prophylactic ovary Fallopian removal and the scraped my uterus to biopsy that and nothing there. -woo hooo. I had ER over 95% and PR over 90 percent and I am taking generic Femera daily and doing well. Two MOs said this is not likely cancer and I can not breathe! I just had a CT scan that said my organs and lungs are clear, only a little weirdness that they want to classify and have on the record for future reference and I cannot get my head to dial down my anxiety.
I know I need to find a therapist, gosh darn it it's a real crappy time to try and find someone to talk to. I asked my MO's office if they had any referrals for post chemo treatment help and they told me to contact my Primary care physician and I almost cried in frustration. How lame is that - they don't have resources - I cannot be the only person who struggles mightily w/the desire for monitoring and fear of scans.
Thank you so much for reading this. and thanks to the mods for this community. xoxo. I am hoping writing all this out will help me manage today better. I do have a peer support person and spoke to her this week already, but I'm am feeling at this point I need some prof. help.Ugh sucks to try and find the right person to talk to when you are feeling like you are having a crisis. Hard to think
IDC 2 cm micromets 1 node 8 more removed. BMX 6/24, A/C then Taxol 7/25, 25 rads 1/6/2020 No reconstruction BRCA2 - BSO 2/19 all clear/ starting AI on 3/1/2020
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