Jun 22, 2022 06:00PM
Jun 22, 2022 06:11PM
I was diagnosed three years ago and treatment was quick and aggressive. I've always had a mix of uninterest in and fear of all things medical, but I have done what a “responsible person" is supposed to do.
Around the same time as my breast cancer diagnosis, I was having extremely heavy periods and was found to have large uterine fibroids. My GYN recommended I have an embolization procedure since menopause was still “far off" for me. No one told me that chemo puts you in menopause. (Did she not know)? I'm only mentioning this because it was extremely painful and disturbing and was not a wise way to begin cancer treatments.
I made it through the treatments (including Taxol-induced anaphylactic shock, uncertainty about my heart function while on Herceptin, unnecessary liver scans when it was the tamoxifen damaging my liver, side effects from Letrozole, etc). I feel that I have had enough. So, last Fall I stopped taking the Letrozole, cancelled my oncologist appointment, refused genetic testing, and cancelled a 6-month mammo follow up (they saw something they wanted to monitor)
I am going for my yearly mammogram next month and am steeling myself for a scolding at the “breast center". I usually feel stressed and humiliated but now it is a losing battle to hold back the tears. I do not feel well mentally or physically. I feel like I am nagged about more tests and scans but do not get good answers to my questions. Examples:
Chance of recurrence when I had two different cancers at the same time? How do you do a breast self exam when there's so much scar tissue and fat necrosis? Is it really normal, as I've been told, to have pain in my breasts? Is it alarming that some of the pain is on my side, below the armpit, where my breasts were kinda stapled down during the reduction?
Why was my GYN (the partner of the one described above) so adamant that I should not take hormonal therapy if lab tests show I am post-menopausal?
Thank you to anyone that has read this far! I really just want to get through the appointment next month. This is my first post. I hope the info below shows up. BUT I did join when I was first diagnosed and read hundreds of posts that helped me get through my treatment. I do not have any support at all except my husband (who is very kind but clueless and easily upset).
I guess this is the real question - I am really not too bothered about a recurrence, I think I am just hoping that is either nothing, or that I am end- stage, so I can easily refuse treatment. Is that crazy?
8/1/2019 Lumpectomy (Left); Lumpectomy (Right); Lymph node removal (Left): Sentinel
12/30/2019 Right breast, Left breast
6/22/2022 Femara (letrozole), Tamoxifen pills (Nolvadex, Apo-Tamox, Tamofen, Tamone)
IDC, Left, 1cm, Stage IA, Grade 2, ER-/PR-, HER2+
ILC, Right, <1, Stage IA, Grade 2, ER+/PR+, HER2-
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