Nov 30, 2012 09:35AM chachamom wrote:
Yeah!! Eli! I'm happy dancing with you!
All Topics → Forum: "Middle Age" 40-60(ish) Years with Breast Cancer → Topic: MIDDLE-AGED WOMEN 40-60ish
Posted on: Aug 21, 2009 10:25PM, edited Mar 23, 2015 11:34AM by elimar
One in eight women: Knew you were coming, so I baked a cake...
This thread was created for "middle-aged" women. At the time, we didn't have our own category on the pull-down Forum menu. The ages 40-60 in the header are unofficial--we don't "card" anyone, wink, wink---so if you are close in age it's meant for you as well. We aren't young with small children. Many of us have just gotten to the stage where we were all set to enjoy the freedom of our kids being grown when, Bam!, we got breast cancer instead. We aren't retired yet, so we get to juggle cancer and a job. We might have to care for an elderly parent on days when we feel like we could use a caregiver ourselves!
(BTW, those are general statements, NOT a checklist for belonging to this group. It's fine if you have some variation!!!)
Our disease unites us with ALL the strong sisters on this site, but here we can bring up some topics to share with others in the "middle," only please make it anything but the insidious topic of weather. Seriously!
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Nov 30, 2012 09:35AM chachamom wrote:
Yeah!! Eli! I'm happy dancing with you!
Nov 30, 2012 10:19AM iatigger wrote:
Happy Dance here too for you Eli!!
Nov 30, 2012 11:01AM elimar wrote:
More info. than you needed to know dept.:
So, remember when a lot of us were comparing whether we had to "gown up" to get rads, or if it was more of a take-off-your-top-and-hop-onto-the-table kind of operation, with some of us covering with a towel for modesty? Well, for the rads I am about to get now, it is literally DROP YOUR DRAWERS. Just had the dry-run today and they even said I could keep my shoes on even, just hike the drawers down. I know it seems kind of weird, but I have to say it is quick this way.
I got my same (favorite) tech from last time and as he led me to the room he pointed out it would be about the same as before except we are using a room at the opposite end of the hall this time. My reply to him was, "That's o.k., because you are working on the opposite end of ME this time." Har-de-har!
Cancer could be quite hilarious if it wasn't for all that life-threatening business.
Nov 30, 2012 12:21PM vanstrada54 wrote:
Just for the record .Why is it automatically assumed that I have quit and thrown in the towel,closed off all options ,am stubborn , etc ,etc just because I hate the thought of poisoning my body ? Most of my life I have researched and studied and learnt how to avoid chemicals and finding alternatives attempting to living a healthy life so I can enjoy it . Now i just have to sit quietly and give permission for this awful toxic poison to be administered to me ? That sucks big time and goes against everything I have learnt . So yes I hate the thought but at the moment supposedly I am in the position of LOOKING into all my options .6 weeks from diagnosis to this point is not long in the grand scheme of things . I see the oncologist next week and they will tell me what they think is the best for me and what is available .And just for the record in the disaster at Grantham there were many times when my husband and I should have died in fact at one stage we said our goodbyes to each other as when the helicopters went away we could not see how on earth they would rescue us ! They had to go away and sort out their options as to what was the best way to save us ! Having been diagnosed with cancer is soooo much like the tsunami that hit us with all that implies . Life is very precious to me and i have no intentions to just throw it away .This is why I am on this forum looking for knowledge so I can do what is the best for me and hopefully making the future treatment of cancer better for my daughters and granddaughters. Have a nice day .
Nov 30, 2012 01:10PM TAB55 wrote:
Eli: You make me laugh! I'm joining you in the happy dance.
Nov 30, 2012 01:12PM TAB55 wrote:
vanstrada: Click on one of the blue bars (e.g. All Topics, Active Topics, My Favorite Topics, etc) on the left hand of your screen to leave a particular discussion.
Nov 30, 2012 01:51PM barsco1963 wrote:
Eli - hooray for the good news - dance away my friend! Your sense of humour in all of this is fabulous! (working on the opposite end of ME-lol) I hope you never lose that.
Nov 30, 2012 01:54PM , edited Nov 30, 2012 01:57PM by elimar
vanstrada54, Should you happen to still be around...I don't think anyone had made those assumptions of you. You struck me as someone who did not, as yet, have all of the information you needed about treatment options and perhaps wanted to hear the real stories and real choices that had already been made by women who had been in your position recently. We ALL know that chemo is poison, believe me. Cancer is a near-relentless disease. Is it any wonder that it takes some awful, nasty stuff to fight it? If you want a kinder, gentler way to attempt fighting it, maybe something on one of the alternative threads would suit you. The successes of those remedies are spurious, but all things are possible in a never-say-never kind of way. You already know that no doctor will advise you in that direction. Hope you find what you're looking for. I wish you nothing but clarity in your decision making.
Nov 30, 2012 01:56PM Momine wrote:
Eli, glad to hear the good news on lymph, liver and thyroid.
Vanstrada, it is very hard to submit to the poison, nobody is going to argue about that.
Nov 30, 2012 04:14PM Cindyl wrote:
I want to be cut, burned, and poisoned said no one ever.
Nov 30, 2012 05:34PM Dianarose wrote:
Eli- glad everything else is fine. It's nice you still have your sense of humor. It's how we get through it some times.
When I went to my MO on Thursday(after boob deflation) the nurse wanted to weigh me. I said,"how the hell could I have gained a pound when I just had my boob deflated. The girl at the desk couldn't stop laughing.
There is one thing that BC can't rob us of and that is who we are inside. It has changed our appearances and has on occasion broken our spirit, but we are still who we are. We do see things through a different set of eyes now, but I refuse not to be me.
I made dam decorated Christmast cookies at work from 7-4. I have to do it all again tomorrow. One lady came in and bought 141.00 worth of cookies. I work in a very wealthy area. George Bush Sr's summer house is just down the street.
My mapping went ok on Thursday. Much quicker than it was 8 yrs ago. I did have to get 2 new tats though. Now I have 5. Trial run on Monday and then I start radiation on Tuesday. I just want to get it done with. I did take 2 xanax prior to the scan. I probably should have just taken one. When I got to work I was still a little loopy.
Hope everyone has a great weekend.
Nov 30, 2012 07:03PM Loral wrote:
Elimar, Thanks for your input. I'm still in the not sure what I feel about all this stage. How do I sign on to adjuvant online without being a medical professional?? Thanks again.
Nov 30, 2012 08:59PM marlegal wrote:
LorAll, everyone handles the side effects differently whether from chemo or from rads ... but we DID handle them. I just can't see myself going through life wondering "what if I hadn't done that" if my doctors recommended a course of treatment. I'm sorry, don't mean to be harsh, but we're honest in here.
Nov 30, 2012 09:51PM , edited Nov 30, 2012 09:58PM by Valjean
E ~~ Yip, Yip, Yipee!!!!!!
Love the good news.
Hang in there gal!
Dec 1, 2012 05:36AM barsco1963 wrote:
Dianarose - I agree with your statement. With spirits broken and physical appearance altered, we are still the same person on the inside. We need to be determined to not let cancer take that away.
Welcome jabal - Sorry that you are here, but you will find great support, encouragement, lots of laughter, tears and incredible knowledge from everyone. Best of luck for good results on your biopsy - let us know how you make out.
Dec 1, 2012 05:39AM TAB55 wrote:
Jabal: Welcome, and I'm hoping you'll get good news from your biopsy.
Dec 1, 2012 06:20AM elimar wrote:
LorAll, Sign on that you ARE a medical professional. Yes, really. I was able to get access that way. It's the kind of little white lie where you will not really morally compromise yourself or wind up in hell, so don't worry.
Jabal, We will be very happy if your results turn out B9 and you don't have to become a card-carrying member around here. You are welcome to pass your time with us...we all know just waiting to hear is sooooo nerve-wracking. Do you have family history of B/C?
Dec 1, 2012 06:38AM elimar wrote:
Yet another port question? Assuming my port heals up to where it no longer hurts...is it o.k. to have the bra strap go across it? That is right where my strap hits. I have been wearing a criss-cross bra these past few days (or none at home) and I don't know yet whether to go bra shopping or if I will be able to wear my regular ones once I heal up?
Dec 1, 2012 08:44AM sheila888 wrote:
Elimar....i know i shouldn't make statements like this but.....
Port was the best thing ever happened to me during my chemo......
I'm looking at the scar and honestly don't remember if i had any issues with my ELECTRIC OUTLET....
Yes I named it....
Is it still swollen or you can actually see the port?
Sorry...i can't come out with an answer....see how comfortable you are with the strip going over .
good Luck to you my friend.....♥
Dec 1, 2012 09:02AM chachamom wrote:
Eli....how can someone so funny (LOL!) also be soooo wise!
Welcome Jabal! I hope your biopsy is B9!!!! But you will find the most incredible and encouraging ladies in this forum. I'm so grateful for the laughter when able, the encouragement when needed, and the information and wisdom so freely shared.
Dec 1, 2012 09:24AM elimar wrote:
Barsco (and Dianarose), My spirit came back stronger after my first go-round with cancer, and it's a good thing it did. I feel stronger heading into C/C treatment than I did for B/C treatment. 'Course they haven't poisoned me with chemo yet, so I may be changing my tune any day now. Anyone who has ever gone thru' an ordeal always comes out on the other side with a more accurate picture of their inner strength. Sure, it's all fine and dandy if you turn out stronger than you thought, but there is no shame if you find out the opposite. Then, you just have to be realistic about what you can handle and accept or ask for help. The GOAL is to GET THROUGH A TOUGH TIME, and don't be too comcerned how you do that. I like to apply the Malcolm X approach, to get to my goal "BY WHATEVER MEANS NECESSARY." (Although I'm sure he could never forsee that his words would be helping a middle-aged cancer lady thru' her treatment. Oh, the times, they are a-changin'.)
Dec 1, 2012 11:25AM LindaKR wrote:
Eli - my port was put in the same time as my MX, it was a little sore for a couple of weeks, and would sometimes get a little irritated, kind of achy feeling while I had it, but only now and then. My seatbelt and bra strap did cross it and would sometimes irritate it, but it was fine - and no more than they irritate my radiated clavicle on the other side. I was sooooooooo happy with my port, I'm know as the port advocate at the cancer center where I volunteer, I bring it up to everyone, especially those getting long term treatment or those that are hard sticks with IV's. It was a big blessing for me.
And Eli - CONGRATS on your results, I love the picture of the happy dance.
For the lady asking about rads, Lorall, there was nothing that was not tolerable about radiation, or chemo, it was all doable. Not pleasant or fun, but doable. And even though I was one that thought if I was diagnosed with cancer I wouldn't have chemo, I'm very happy with my decisions, including my decision to stay on the AI, even though it has caused disabling side effects for me. But for me, I was almost assured of recurrence or mets without treatments, and each treatment made a huge difference in my long term survival.
We each have to decide my quality of decision - I felt that the choices I made were the right ones for me at this point in my life. I might have made different ones if the the circumstances had been different.
I too have claimed that I was a medical professional to get access to some of the resources available!
Vanstrada - if you're still here, I don't think that anyone meant to put your down or offend you about your decisions, they were just honestly and completely, letting you know why they chose what they did and the feelings and emotions that they have about their decision. Best of luck, it isn't an easy decision to make.
Dec 1, 2012 11:59AM vanstrada54 wrote:
Okayyyyyy . Major deep breath here ! By the very title of our group here we are middle aged . With middle age comes a major roller coaster ride ! Just put my pouty little tantrum up to PTSD middle aged overwhelmed lopsider ! I do appreciate all the advice you give me . I have always loved Fords and if you were advising me to give up my Ford for something else You would REALLY have to convince me ! Lol What works for me is waht I need to learn . Grantham took all that away from me and having to regroup and start all over again with the added attraction on major memory loss in middle age makes for a very interesting ride ! When I was younger I enjoyed the ride nowadays I get travel sickness ! lol ,Thanks for your kind words . I was not offended just overwhelmed The journey continues .
Dec 1, 2012 12:13PM vanstrada54 wrote:
I am now 3 weeks to the day of surgery . Where the drain infected my wound site it is still sore ,down the side of my body it is still sore ! My back on that side is still sore ! I wore my lovely new bra yesterday for the first time and the trying to figure out the right combination was interesting to say the least ! My Libran sense of perfect balancing acts was definitely tested to the limits ! And I am still sore ? Are you catching the drift that I am still sore with painful areas ???? I am aware we are all different and I embrace that difference if it wasn't so SORE ! lol At what point does the soreness stop ? Is there a area of concern that I am not aware of ? searching for the Holy Graille of not being sore ! Waving from Gatton . Ouch !
Dec 1, 2012 12:56PM marlegal wrote:
Van, I would definitely call your doc's office and talk with one of the nurses to describe "sore" ... there are many different ways that can be interpreted and they know most of them well enough to help calm your fears, or tell you come in for a visit. I'm assuming of course that most offices which handle BC have as wonderful a staff as my doc's office.
Eli, I was working during chemo so had to wear a bra. Don't specifically remember any issue with the port, so it must have been short-lived if at all. Mine was on left side, so car seatbelt hit it too. I was fortunate with my port surgery - truly didn't have any pain issues that I've heard others express. I found it "weird" cause I could see the sucker and feel it so close under the skin, but no pain. Just a little uncomfortable maybe for a couple days.
Dec 1, 2012 01:20PM Momine wrote:
Vanstrada, not sure which surgery you had, but after my double mastectomy, with nodes taken on both sides, I was sore for a long time. I was not in pain exactly, but uncomfortable on and off for what seemed like an eternity (6 months? 9?, really not sure). If you had any nodes out, I would strongly recommend seeing a PT as soon as possible. Some of that "sore" could be backed up lymph fluid, and if it is, you want to nip it in the bud.