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Topic: MIDDLE-AGED WOMEN 40-60ish

Forum: "Middle Age" 40-60(ish) Years Old With Breast Cancer —

Meet others in this age-range who share similar life issues.

Posted on: Aug 21, 2009 10:25PM - edited Jan 13, 2020 11:17AM by elimar

elimar wrote:

This thread was created for "middle-aged" women. At the time, we didn't have our own category on the pull-down Forum menu. The ages 40-60 in the header are unofficial--we don't "card" anyone, (wink, wink) --- so if you are close in age it's meant for you as well. We aren't young with small children. Many of us have just gotten to the stage where we were all set to enjoy the freedom of our kids being grown when, Bam!, we got breast cancer instead. We aren't retired yet, so we get to juggle cancer and a job. We might have to care for an elderly parent on days when we feel like we could use a caregiver ourselves!

(BTW, those are general statements, NOT a checklist for belonging to this group. It's fine if you have some variation!!!)

Our disease unites us with ALL the strong sisters on this site, but here we can bring up some topics to share with others in the "middle."

s.i awareness Pictures, Images and Photos

"Home of the Hot Flash"



Dx 6/24/2009, IDC, <1cm, Stage IA, Grade 2, 0/2 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-
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Aug 24, 2009 12:57PM spinnaker wrote:

Hi all, looks like I found the right place to be.  I was diagnosed at the end of May 2009 at age 45.  I had a left mx in late June with a TE, and I began the fill process in July.  Because I'm not very big, I think the fills are done - at least I hope so.  I see my PS this week and I hope we can schedule the exchange surgery for November.  I'm curious how he's going to get me symmetrical.  He doesn't seemed worried, but he doesn't have to lug around one floppy boob and one brick boob for three more months.  Part of me is sorry that I didn't go with a bi-lateral, but my BS talked me out of it.  My daughter (who has been my rock through this ordeal this summer) just moved to college two hours away, so I'm really missing her support.  My 16 yr old son and my DH have also been a great source of strength.  I just hate that my family has to deal with this too, but I'm so glad they are here for me.  And if all this hasn't been difficult enough, I just found out that my job is ending in November and I'll be transitioning to a new organization.  I don't have to move (thank goodness), but my health insurance will change, which is why I want to get that exchange surgery scheduled soon.  I can always count on the ladies on BCO who laugh with me, cry with me and understand the venting we all have to do at times. 

Best,

Karen

Karen Dx 5/27/2009, ILC, 1cm, Stage I, Grade 1, 0/5 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-
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Aug 24, 2009 01:52PM Nebraskagrandma wrote:

WOW, I'm off the site for 4 hours and look at all the post to read !

Welcome: Jule, bettysgirl, Jo Ann, and kane744 !

Linda I'm so glad you will be in town for the Race ! We will have to meet

kane744 excellent advice, all so true, Love it........

msroulette I was excited for fills too ! Hope it all goes well

elimar you crack me up ! thanks for the chuckles for today ;o)

Our group is getting very big, how exciting !

Blessings all around,

Paula

I'm all about Making Wonderful Memories, Paula Dx 6/3/2008, DCIS, Stage 0, 0/1 nodes, ER+
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Aug 24, 2009 01:55PM Nebraskagrandma wrote:

OMG am I slow or what before I got my post typed another has joined us ! horray !

Welcome Karen !!

I'm all about Making Wonderful Memories, Paula Dx 6/3/2008, DCIS, Stage 0, 0/1 nodes, ER+
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Aug 24, 2009 02:03PM Nebraskagrandma wrote:

Karen,

      I also had a unilateral mx, my left side. I totally understand your concern about the one droopy breast. I was that way from last Nov until Aug 10th. I went back to surgery and had a lift to my right side and nipple recon to the left.

     "My girls" are twins again ! I could have had the surgery anytime after March but I just had so much going on and interaction with my grandkids that I didn't want to be restricted again until later in the summer.

      I should be done with recon now, and I am so happy after the lift. Just trying to be patient as I heal............

Blessings,

Paula

I'm all about Making Wonderful Memories, Paula Dx 6/3/2008, DCIS, Stage 0, 0/1 nodes, ER+
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Aug 24, 2009 02:12PM mumito wrote:

Hi ladies love the chuckles and sense of humor.I promise to keep mine as well.

Next month I go in to have the other breast lopped off.  Did some research decided not to  do recon. Hoping after this i will not have to return to a hospital for years.I am 50 but feel much older after all I have been through.My daughter wants me to get on with life.Me I just want to enjoy my life now.Quit my job,and we (my dhand I ) intend to travel and spend our hard earned savings.

Cheers to all of us middleagers who have gotten through this ####

Dx 4/23/2008, IDC, 5cm, Stage IIB, Grade 3, 2/15 nodes, ER+/PR-, HER2-
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Aug 24, 2009 03:51PM Nebraskagrandma wrote:

mumayan,

       Love your martini glasses, sorry you have to have surgery again. I think your plan sounds like a great one, cheers to you. You've earned it !

Blessings,

Paula

I'm all about Making Wonderful Memories, Paula Dx 6/3/2008, DCIS, Stage 0, 0/1 nodes, ER+
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Aug 24, 2009 04:29PM cmharris59 wrote:

Karen and Paula,

 I, too, had a unilateral and have had one good boob and one rock since Nov 2007. My recon is being put off again due to my heart scan. I had to wait at least a year after my radiation anyway to have the surgeries. My last radiation was in May 2008. I am very nervous about my surgery. I am going to have DIEP recon. Paula can you keep me posted about your right lift. My PS wants to d o a lift on the right side to make them match better.  I am concerned about losing any more feeling. My breasts are a HUGE part of my sex life. I don't want to lose any more feeling if I don't absolutely have to lose it.

Thanks,

C

"The first thing I do in the morning is brush my teeth and sharpen my tongue." ~ Dorothy Parker Dx 6/8/2007, IDC, 5cm, Stage IIB, Grade 3, 0/1 nodes, ER-/PR-, HER2+
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Aug 24, 2009 06:23PM Nebraskagrandma wrote:

C,

    I am not familar with the DIEP recon, have read a little bit about it. I had a TE in my MX left side. Exchange surgery Nov.'08, so for 9 months I had one higher than the other but the left wasn't the rock that the TE was. The lift and nipple recon was Aug. 10th, two weeks ago. Last week when I was at the PS office they took out the stitches from my skin graft aerola. She was very suprised that I could FEEL the stitches coming out. I have most of my feeling on my MX side. As far as my lift side losing feel doesn't seem to be an issue at all.

    Sorry you have so much time before your surgery, the waiting is often the worst part. I try to just stay in the day as hard as that is.

Blessings,

Paula

I'm all about Making Wonderful Memories, Paula Dx 6/3/2008, DCIS, Stage 0, 0/1 nodes, ER+
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Aug 24, 2009 06:31PM - edited Aug 24, 2009 06:32PM by elimar

Thanks so much for posting everyone!  Pleased to make your acquaintance!

This is post #100 (in three short days!)  I hope this thread can flourish as a "hangout" for us mid-life women who are all too up-close-and-personal with that crazy, random breast cancer.          I SEE SOMEONE STOPPED BY FOR HAPPY HOUR earller today! 

Dx 6/24/2009, IDC, <1cm, Stage IA, Grade 2, 0/2 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-
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Aug 24, 2009 07:20PM footprintsangel wrote:

I love to see all the people you are helping. They see the same

way I do, I found out last week I have an enlarged heart the test

shows. Has anyone ever got that later after having high chemo?

God bless you all. Take care, Debbie

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Aug 24, 2009 07:39PM - edited Aug 24, 2009 07:46PM by OG56

Debbie I am so sorry to hear you are having such a complication. I willl keep positive thoughts going that it is something that can be corrected.

Elimar it is a porn camera, and you are on a live feed whenever you are in that room! You are too funny I hope they appreciate your sense of humor. I know this is late feedback on your post but it got mixed up somehow.

I embarassed my BS when we discussed a Bilateral Mastectomy because I said "well I guess my pole dancing days are over anyway" I think he thought I was serious(:  I wonder do they have topless bar's with dancers who are over 50?

Linda Dx 5/30/2008, IDC, Right, <1cm, Stage IA, Grade 1, 0/3 nodes, ER+/PR-, HER2- Dx 9/22/2016, ILC, Right, <1cm, Stage IB, Grade 3, 0/14 nodes, ER+/PR-, HER2- (FISH) Chemotherapy 2/6/2017 Cytoxan (cyclophosphamide), Taxotere (docetaxel)
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Aug 24, 2009 07:50PM Mazy1959 wrote:

elimar LOL..it is a laser..or I hope it is cause I had one too. LOL Glad it went ok for you. And I would definitly use the cancer card to get some chick flicks LOL.

cmharris..I do remember you. So happy I helped you in some way.

gandl..nice to meet you. I am in Illinois

Hi and nice to meet all of you ladies.

I go for an MRI for my back on thursday just to make sure its all okay.

Hugs, Mazy

Bone marrow mets in 90% of bone marrow. Dx 3/6/2003, ILC, 3cm, Stage IIB, Grade 2, 2/9 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Dx 12/19/2006, ILC, 4cm, Stage IV, Grade 2, 0/0 nodes, mets, ER+/PR-, HER2- Dx 4/25/2012, ILC, Stage IV, Grade 2, 0/0 nodes, mets, ER+/PR+, HER2- Dx 8/4/2012, ILC, Stage IV, Grade 2, 0/0 nodes, mets, ER+/PR+, HER2- Chemotherapy 8/9/2012 Abraxane (albumin-bound or nab-paclitaxel)
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Aug 24, 2009 08:02PM footprintsangel wrote:

Good Luck, Mazy I hope everything come out good.

To all the other wonderful ladies here, God bless you.

Like the prayer line here I say We are Gods Wonderful Women.

Please take care, I need to go take a pain pill and rest. Hugs Debbie

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Aug 24, 2009 08:07PM swimangel72 wrote:

Hugs back to you Debbie - hope the pain pill helps. OmahaGirl - your line about pole-dancing days is hilarious! Thanks for putting a smile on my face!

3/3/08 Right-side mastectomy with immediate muscle-sparing free tram; 3/9/08 Developed abdominal MRSA staph infection and hernia;Completed 4 months Navelbine and 1 year Herceptin; Arimidex - 3 more years! Diagnosed at age 53 Dx 2/5/2008, IDC, Right, <1cm, Stage IB, Grade 1, 0/7 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2+ (FISH)
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Aug 24, 2009 08:11PM OG56 wrote:

Your welcome Swimangel, my sister and I could both loose 40 lbs and we laugh our heads off imagining our chubby selves working at the "club"

Linda Dx 5/30/2008, IDC, Right, <1cm, Stage IA, Grade 1, 0/3 nodes, ER+/PR-, HER2- Dx 9/22/2016, ILC, Right, <1cm, Stage IB, Grade 3, 0/14 nodes, ER+/PR-, HER2- (FISH) Chemotherapy 2/6/2017 Cytoxan (cyclophosphamide), Taxotere (docetaxel)
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Aug 25, 2009 09:08AM Nebraskagrandma wrote:

Good Morning Ladies !

      I hope all is well, I nearly had a panic attack about an hour and a half ago when I tried to post and got some wacky note that there was a problem................ ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh  I was having separation anxiety my friends !
       I'm not driving yet so my niece is picking me up to go to the casino and have lunch with my 85 & 87 yr old parents and THEIR siblings, God Love Them ! It will be a good distraction for me.

Blessings,

Paula

I'm all about Making Wonderful Memories, Paula Dx 6/3/2008, DCIS, Stage 0, 0/1 nodes, ER+
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Aug 25, 2009 09:35AM msroulette wrote:

Good Morning Ladies,

 I had my first fill today. 50cc, don't look like much, but the nurse told me if she did more, I would hate her tomorrow (giggle). I also found out they will use gummies for my exchange. I'll need to do more research, as I have read some are quite unhappy with them...any thoughts/experiences would be most helpful.

Paula-enjoy your lunch and the casino...I used to be a dealer in a casino, so if you should need hints, let me know!

Linda-My SIL used to dance in a topless bar when she was a 20-something and MUCH more healthy...But, at 45, she'd still do it anyway!

Here's to a Terrific Tuesday...enjoy and feel well Kiss

Laura Dx 5/6/2009, Paget's
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Aug 25, 2009 11:42AM - edited Aug 25, 2009 01:14PM by elimar

Treatment #2 was just as boring today, but instead of a guy and girl tech team it was two guys.

I haven't read about radiation making anyone HYPER, but both yesterday and today I felt a little manic.  No, I am NOT BIPOLAR.  I felt a little queasy, too.  Maybe that was my migraine.  I felt a touch of migraine since yesterday's treatment.  Here we go.  Yes, I am a bit of a HYPOCHONDRIAC on rads.  Is there such a thing as a HYPER-CHONDRIAC????
Dx 6/24/2009, IDC, <1cm, Stage IA, Grade 2, 0/2 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-
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Aug 25, 2009 11:47AM - edited Aug 25, 2009 11:48AM by gandl

there should be

gandl multicentric 6 ILC tumors, extensive LCIS, isolated tumor cells in 1 of 6 nodes, bilat mx 2-13-08, arimidex & actonel 2-21-09, switched to aromasin 8-20-09 Dx 1/28/2008, LCIS/ILC, Right, <1cm, Stage IA, 1/6 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Hormonal Therapy Arimidex (anastrozole), Aromasin (exemestane)
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Aug 25, 2009 12:45PM spinnaker wrote:

Laura, I live in Colo Spgs too.  Who's your PS?  Mine is Liebscher, and I've been very happy with him.  I see him again tomorrow and hopefully we'll schedule the exchange surgery. My TE has been painful the last few days, and I'm surprised by that.  Hope nothing is wrong.

Paula - glad to hear your doc was able to make you symmetrical. I'm hoping for good results, too.

Linda - what you said to your PS about pole dancing was hilarious! I laughed out loud at my desk and my co-workers wondered what was so funny. 

Have a great week, ladies.

Karen

Karen Dx 5/27/2009, ILC, 1cm, Stage I, Grade 1, 0/5 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-
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Aug 25, 2009 01:00PM mumito wrote:

Elimar I had a real rough time with rads.It didn't help that when ever I went in the techs were different.I was a nervous wreck through the whole process and after it was over I had twoweeks of hell dealing with 3rd degree burns. I have talked to other ladies that had no problems with their rads.  Do alot of deep breathing to help calm anxiety.Hang in there.

Dx 4/23/2008, IDC, 5cm, Stage IIB, Grade 3, 2/15 nodes, ER+/PR-, HER2-
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Aug 25, 2009 01:15PM elimar wrote:

Thanks!  I am probably in denial about my nerves!

Dx 6/24/2009, IDC, <1cm, Stage IA, Grade 2, 0/2 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-
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Aug 25, 2009 01:27PM msroulette wrote:

Karen- Same Doc. Let me tell you a little story that put me completely at ease and reassured about him. Just after my last biopsy, I was in my Primary Care Physician's office, and there is a nurse there that told me she is a 3 year survivor. She also had a BLM. She asked who my PS is and when I told her, she said she had just seen his work the week prior. Her words were "they were beautiful" she called him an artist, and said his work is incredible. I have been very much at ease with both Dr. Liebscher and the surgeon that perfomed my mastectomy, Dr. Bordelon. I hope everything goes well tomorrow, and the TE's are not an issue!

Laura Dx 5/6/2009, Paget's
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Aug 25, 2009 01:30PM faithandfifty wrote:

Whew. Who's gonna create a score-card for this thread..... to help me keep everyone 'straight'??

It's great to connect and even better when we can create laughter in the process.

I thought maybe you'd like to peek in at the sunset we had last night:

Hope that it brings a sense of peace & calm to our founder, the HYPERcondriac.

We're up north in the great woods of WI. This is looking west onto the actual bay of

Green Bay, from a marina at the end of our block: ENJOY!

Any of you on Facebook? That's my newest addiction. LOL

Keep up with my travels at: www.rainbowswithinreach.blogspot.com
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Aug 25, 2009 01:47PM msroulette wrote:

That is a most beautiful pic! I am originally from MI and used to love watching the sun rise or fall over the water...Here in Colorado, haven't seen much water at all, but the weather and Mountains make up for it.

I am on Facebook, PM if you want a name Kiss

Laura Dx 5/6/2009, Paget's
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Aug 25, 2009 02:39PM barbe1958 wrote:


Great sunset Faith! You can tell the season is getting late, the deepness of the oranges is so different from the sunsets months ago.

I have a funny story I forgot all about!

I was going in for a reduction years ago on my 44Ds. The night before I asked my husband to "kiss the girls goodbye". He laughed and said he would "kiss the twins hello the next day!" hehehehehehe

Dx 12/10/2008, IDC: Papillary, Left, 1cm, Stage IB, 2/5 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 12/15/2008 Lymph node removal: Left, Sentinel; Mastectomy: Left, Right Dx 2/4/2016, IDC: Papillary, Left, Stage IV, ER+/PR+, HER2- Hormonal Therapy 2/10/2016 Arimidex (anastrozole) Radiation Therapy 2/16/2016 Whole-breast: Lymph nodes, Chest wall
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Aug 25, 2009 03:38PM elimar wrote:

Beautiful faithandfifty!  I'm calm now. It's a lot better than that lighted ceiling panel of wildflowers in my treatment room.  Did you see the Green Ray? 

Dx 6/24/2009, IDC, <1cm, Stage IA, Grade 2, 0/2 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-
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Aug 25, 2009 04:56PM mumito wrote:

Faith that one is even more beautiful than the others.Thanks for sharing.

Dx 4/23/2008, IDC, 5cm, Stage IIB, Grade 3, 2/15 nodes, ER+/PR-, HER2-
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Aug 25, 2009 05:44PM Nebraskagrandma wrote:

Laura,

       I have gummies, well one gummy. I am happy with it. Some talk about them feeling hard but I don't have that. I've had mine over 9 months and it has soften up alot over time. Did you know there is a thread all about gummies ? You might get some input there also.

faithandfifty,

        great picture thanks !

elimar,

        Glad it was boring, that's better than an eventful that might be bad. It seems the odds are getting better in that treatment room.......1 boy 1 girl now 2 guys ! maybe a good distraction. Keep on Keeping on girlfriend we'll all do the count down together !

Blessings Sisters

Paula

I'm all about Making Wonderful Memories, Paula Dx 6/3/2008, DCIS, Stage 0, 0/1 nodes, ER+
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Aug 25, 2009 05:57PM msroulette wrote:

Paul-Thank you, I did check out the gummies thread. There was some good links to the product info, and mainly I saw one lady who really didn't like them at first, but decided to accept that they wouldn't feel natural. I saw your comment about yours softening. Me being the OCD that I am, I want as much info as possible so I feel more in control...even though I actually haven't that much control.

I understand there is a photo section, but I just can't find it...how do I access it?

Laura Dx 5/6/2009, Paget's

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