Aug 25, 2009 10:13PM Mazy1959 wrote:
I had no recon but I have heard mostly good about gummies and have seen pics of recon on 2 different ladies. They looked like the real thing to me. I hope you all had a good day today. Hugs, Mazy
Meet others in this age-range who share similar life issues.
Posted on: Aug 22, 2009 01:25AM - edited Jan 13, 2020 02:17PM by elimar
This thread was created for "middle-aged" women. At the time, we didn't have our own category on the pull-down Forum menu. The ages 40-60 in the header are unofficial--we don't "card" anyone, (wink, wink) --- so if you are close in age it's meant for you as well. We aren't young with small children. Many of us have just gotten to the stage where we were all set to enjoy the freedom of our kids being grown when, Bam!, we got breast cancer instead. We aren't retired yet, so we get to juggle cancer and a job. We might have to care for an elderly parent on days when we feel like we could use a caregiver ourselves!
(BTW, those are general statements, NOT a checklist for belonging to this group. It's fine if you have some variation!!!)
Our disease unites us with ALL the strong sisters on this site, but here we can bring up some topics to share with others in the "middle."
"Home of the Hot Flash"
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Aug 25, 2009 10:13PM Mazy1959 wrote:
I had no recon but I have heard mostly good about gummies and have seen pics of recon on 2 different ladies. They looked like the real thing to me. I hope you all had a good day today. Hugs, Mazy
Aug 26, 2009 12:04AM elimar wrote:
Thanks footprintsangel, but after only two days, I must say radiation IS easy. Those are probably famous last words and I have now jinxed myself for a good blistering down the road. I'll come and cry here if that happens. Please pass that prayer on to someone who is more deserving at this time, someone really having a bad time of it. Or put one on hold for me when I reach my 33rd and last Tx sometime in Oct.
If I had to say what I liked least so far about breast cancer it would be: #1) the way it took me and turned me into the breast cancer version of me. I'm sure there is a more elegant way to say that, but you all get my drift. #2) the Contura balloon catheter felt really bad for the three days I wore it. It was a good treatment idea that was a bad idea for me. #3) having general anesthesia. It's scary and then I felt it in my system for 2-3 days. (Chemo people feel free to laugh at what a baby I am.)
What I liked most about breast cancer...Girlfriends, please! I haven't got to any silver lining yet. But the women helping women, and the sisterhood on here ain't bad!
Aug 26, 2009 04:18AM bettysgirl wrote:
faith- that is a beautiful picture. Thanks for sharing it.
It is going to be difficult keeping up with all the posts!.Elimar- rads get o be boring..I have to say that i loved all my techs. They all rotated and i had 5 or 6 different techs but we had some great laughs together. There was only one of them that lacked a ense of humor and was quite serious. The others all were great fun. I was blessed. Aside from bad burns right at the end i didn't feel too bad during rads. Just a little more tired that usual but i don't know that it wasn't from traveling 2 hrs round trip to get there and back. The travel was longer than the treatments.
Debbie- I hope you are feeling better. I have to say that after going round the boards you are a great cheeleader to so many and I appreciate that.
Paula- Hope you had a great lunch with the grandparents. They sound like a lot of fun.
Hope everybody has a great day today!!
Aug 26, 2009 01:37PM elimar wrote:
Rads #3 - Where boredom turns to horror...
I've seen posts where women who had their B/C on the left mentioned that the heart sometimes has to be in the radiation field. I knew that. I also knew that on either side, in order to get the chest wall, some of the lung gets radiated too. The part I found out today is that 20% of my lung is getting rads! "That's a LOT," I blurted out to my doctor. "That's not really that much," said he. I could tell right away that these views varied enormously depending on whose lung it was. "That seems barbaric!" I countered "How long til we make a technological leap that totally avoids the internal organs?" He gave me the stink eye and replied, "We're not quite there yet."
My lung was very upset this day and could not be consoled.
Aug 26, 2009 01:48PM OG56 wrote:
Elimar I am sorry that now you are worried about your lung's too. It all sux's big time and the fact that it is 2009 and this is as far as we have gotten is very diappointing.
I bet if there are more advanced people on other planets(like the movie cocoon) they would think our tx. is still very crude! I know I do.
Aug 26, 2009 05:37PM Kleenex wrote:
Elimar told me about starting this thread - I'd never have found it. It's tucked into the "Young Women With Breast Cancer" forum, and I'm not really "young," just immature, so I hadn't perused that forum before. But then it also says "Middle-Aged Women," which I don't like to admit that I am. I'm 46, and was transferred from blissful ignorance to BreastCancerLand last summer just after I turned 45. 45 seems to be the bottom age at which you could get cancer without it being shockingly young. It's like the bottom of the range of "normal."
And, hey, now that I've found this, I'm starting to be overwhelmed by what interesting things might be lurking on other forums. For example, I never look through "Lesbians with Breast Cancer," but what if there's a "Women Who Are Not Lesbians but Sometimes Don't Want Men Around" sort of forum over there that would be perfect for me?!
I, too, came to the realization last summer that it was finally too late to go for the topless dancing career. Shucks! I also felt like I should have dressed in a more trashy, inappropriate way before ending up with a slight divot in my clevage. Here in Texas, women flaunt their heaving bosoms in low-cut tops until they're in their 60's, it seems, and I sort of missed my window, I guess...
Aug 26, 2009 05:38PM Kleenex wrote:
Elimar - just wanted to say: the rads on the left side thing is quite creepy. I had rads on my left side. Some days, I felt like I couldn't breathe, because I was sort of trying to pull my lung back from my breast and ribcage to get it out of the field of radiation - but I wasn't actually moving, if you know what I mean, and you can't actually pull your lung back like that. My radiation oncologist told me that if I ever got into a car accident, the ribs on my left side would definitely break. (I did, and they didn't, which is good.) She bushed aside questions about radiation hitting my lungs, insisting that they had created "blocks" and set up angles that would protect me. I think she and the other doctors on my team believe in the power of positive thinking. I'm sure that 20% of my lung and a big section of my poor heart were zapped, but I feel okay at the moment and probably will be fine. It's good to have a touch of non-hyperactive attention deficit disorder sometimes. As opposed to being a Hyper-Chondriac.
I got to the point with the rads where I felt like they could all just go to lunch and let me handle it. I knew where the blocks were kept, how to put them in the machine, how to pull up my settings and launch the program, etc. I even knew the names of everything. I joked about it one time, and one of the techs tested me and was a bit freaked out that I really DID have all of her moves memorized. It was my weird way of handling it - I guess with nothing to do but lay on the table, my brain decided to pretend they were TEACHING me how to administer the treatment, rather than actually zapping me with radiation...
Aug 26, 2009 07:21PM msroulette wrote:
Kleenex-Welcome aboard (says the newbie). I understand the whole idea of learning all the moves they made. I too like to understand everything that happens. I've learned a lot just by observing. I think that is just my OCD, as I've mentioned before. It makes me feel more in control, even though I am not. Knowing the next move somehow translates into me having control.
Elimar-I really REALLY hope the radiation is more pro than con when it comes to your lungs. Wrap your arms around the front of you and hug...pretend it is me, cause I would do such a thing. I think hugs are a terrific way to share positive energy with someone else.
I get to go back to work tomorrow. I was told that I may feel unbearably tired by noon and want to go home, but, I have exceeded all expectations for my recovery to this point, I hope I exceed expectations tomorrow too!
I wish all of you a Wonderful Wednesday!
Aug 26, 2009 08:00PM funthing42 wrote:Hi everyone 41 just made it at least I know where everyone is. I have been stressed and pissed today. I finally decided to make another onco appointment. Leaning toward chemo. Oncotype score 23. Not sure it is the right thing to do. I guess I will find out. Such a early stage to Tox my body. Ive been doing a great job with all of the Twinkies lately. Im worried that I waited so long for test Radiation wont be as helpful???
Aug 26, 2009 09:48PM Nebraskagrandma wrote:
Thanks for the chuckles :o)
We will be keeping positive thoughts and prayers coming your way during this stinkin ordeal !
I went back to work today and I did pretty good til about 3:30 then I could have taken a nap. I was glad to see all my friends but I'm also glad I don't have to go back until Sept 25th. I'm a casual float (very casual, triage nurse)
Have a good night all,
Aug 26, 2009 09:57PM cinderella_1950 wrote:
Well, I'm almost 60, so I may as well settle in with you gals! :) It does make me sad to see so many 30ish ladies being hit with cancer. I've always thought, for some reason, that it hits us older gals first, but I guess age is no barrier...my heart does go out to them indeed, as it does to you all in here.
I am divorced, was just divorced May 22 of this year (my hubby divorced me). Back about 4 years ago, my mom passed away. She too lost a breast to cancer but she was a surviver and she died with other medical problems, not related to cancer at all. About a year and a half after my mom passed away, my hubby left me for a much younger woman (I've had a lot of pain in my life, but this was the "ultimate" pain!) I am slowly, very slowly getting over it. It's so hard as we bump into each other as they don't live that far away. I still love him...after 36 years, it's pretty hard to push a button...I can't! I'll probably love him until I die.
About a year or so after he left me, I was diagnosed with breast cancer. I was SO devastated..no kidding. I was still mourning over my mom and my hubby leaving me, but the Lord was good and walked with me again! I'm now cancer free, but on cancer meds, but I'm SO grateful that I'm still here! I have 3 wonderful grown kids and 5 beautiful grandkids to complete my life, and they are my life now!
Last Christmas, I went to Maine to spend Christmas with my son. While I was there, my dad phoned me to say that my house was broken into and vandalized!! Oh Lord!! What??? Why me again?? My other sister and her family looked after things for me, and she told me to say there for a couple of more weeks as there was really nothing to come home to. There was about 3 inches of water on the floors, but my wonderful sis took care of things. I came home, packed my things and moved out! The Lord made a way for me to move into this lovely 2 bedroom house (my other one was a 5 bedroom, and I was the only one living there...much too big anyway)!! So, it all worked out!! I love it here...and I have great neighbours.
This past Feb, my dad passed away. Another great loss, as I spent most of my time with my dad after mom passed away. Another big void in my life...how much more could I take? Yes, I am seeing a wondeful councellor and I am so fortunate to have her. I also rely more on the Lord, and if not for Him, gals..I would not be here today!
Unfortunately, my siblings are all divided over dad's estate. There's always seems to be some who are after "things" ... Nothing could ever take the place of my dad, so I refused to get involved with "raiding" his house!! They did this 4 hours after he was buried!! I was so much in mourning that I couldn't go to the "will reading" and I was judged for not being there.
Again, the good Lord has taken me thus far, and I know He'll take me "all the way." :) I'm not here to preach...I just can't help but share how wonderful He is!! He's my very reason I'm alive...and He must want me here for a reason...as HE does for you gals! I am open to that... I pray that I'll walk in His will daily.
All these experiences have taught me alot, and even though I still feel the pain...by the grace of God, one day I'll stand and say that I'm indeed "pain free"!! So, I encourage you all to hang in there, and no matter the age, we all have HOPE!
Keep the faith, and God's blessings to all!! ((((hugs))))
Aug 26, 2009 11:02PM bettysgirl wrote:
cinderella- glad to have you with us. WOW! You have been through a lot. I dare to say that your faith is what kept you afloat. AND that you are a strong person. I wish I could say that I have come through the last year stronger in my faith but it has been difficult for me. I know that I did as well I I have thus far because of all the prayers lifted up for me but I am so weary of all the suffering around me...we have a dear friend that has a 14 yr old fighting cancer now and i for the life of me do not understand childhood cancers..I also realize that we are blessed to have jobs, health insurance and all the bills are current (for now) then this situation we have with our daughter being such a rebellious 22 yr old and raising her two girls here along with her and all her "baggage" I just get so down. Some weekends I wonder what I got better for...then some days i know that there is a reason i am here but i'll be danged if i know what it is...I didn't do a good job raising her, I sure don't want to do it again...
Aug 26, 2009 11:22PM Mazy1959 wrote:
Cinderella...God bless you. You have had some bad events for sure and hopefully now you will get a few good ones.
Welcome all newcomers. Hugs, Mazy
Aug 26, 2009 11:36PM elimar wrote:
Hey Kleenex, I know it took a few days for you to embrace your middle-aged-ness, but here you are. Good to see you! You slay me.
Msroulette, Observing & learning is good, and advocating for yourself is even better. Take it easy tomorrow.
I think I am pretty average in how I feel about all this. I bet I am not the only one who wishes for a MAGIC CANCER WAND that you could wave and make it all disappear. Poof!
Aug 27, 2009 12:24AM Estepp wrote:
Ladies.. ( HUGS)
Just dropping by to say..... when I saw this thread.... 40-60ish. I thought to myself... OMGOSH.. that is the MAJORITY of BCO..... LOL...
Love you !
Aug 27, 2009 12:26AM Estepp wrote:
Oh.. and quickly.. the other thing I thought.. " WHEN in the Heck did I become middle aged..."
Aug 27, 2009 11:22AM faithandfifty wrote:
Happy morning, one and all.
What an assortment of characters we are.
Welcome to the newbies.
Estepp, I too thought -- isn't that the majority here?? But it's a lovely cross-section of gals and I'm tickled to meet new friends & send encouragement to those in need.
Kleenex, I nominate you for our stand-up comedianne award. Thanks for taking the time to share.
Cinderella, I think your nomination is for perseverance in the face of it all. Certainly an award for keeping the faith in the midst of all Planet Earth can throw at ya. Have you ever felt like Job, of the Old Testament?
Elimar, adding my wishes that they know what they're doing and that you are spared any side effects that can be spared.
Very bad idea of mine to start 'naming' people..... a few days into the future, that could take the entire morning -- as our numbers are certain to increase.
Big hugs to all in need.
Aug 27, 2009 11:51AM Kleenex wrote:
Has anyone else found that having cancer at this age puts you into the category of "My Worst Nightmare," as far as your "peers" are concerned? I'm very sociable, but I only have one friend in real life who has had breast cancer (younger than me, 39 at diagnosis, triple negative, so she had a MUCH more life-changing time than I've had). Periodically, I'll be in a group setting, and in telling a story, some aspect of my breast cancer treatment will come up, which is logical as it's been a big part of my life over the last year, and it seems to just kill the moment. I was riding with a group of women to a Bunco night that was about 20 minutes away last week, and we were discussing books on tape. I'm a big fan of books on tape. I launched into a story about how last fall, when I was undergoing radiation 30 minutes away, I'd picked up a book at the library and was listening when suddenly, two chapters in, the characters started to make out and take off their clothes and it appeared that I was about to listen to an erotic encounter right there on the state highway. So I turned off the tape, because it just seemed wrong to listen to people having sex on my way to radiation. Later, as it turned out, I went back to the tape and just after the point where I'd stopped the tape in horror, the story jumped to them smoking cigarettes together, with no graphic details at all of their liason.
In any case, apparently the fact that I was on my way to RADIATION freaked out the people I was telling the story to - there was a very awkward silence, as though perhaps I'd passed gas (I hadn't). The group discusses lots of inappropriate things, so it wasn't the sex in the book. It's hard for me because not only did I spend a lot of time dealing with breast cancer treatment this past year, but also I don't want to hide it. I think women benefit from their ability to discuss and learn from each other, and when I was diagnosed, I was SO grateful that I had my friend to talk to about it - if she hadn't been open about it the year before, I would have lost out on a LOT of support. I'd be happy to be there for anyone else, so I really don't mind people knowing about it. But has anyone else had this happen - where you feel like, "ooooooh, shouldn't have said RADIATION" or something similar? And I don't want to be "Breast Cancer Woman," either - I'm not bringing it up THAT much, but it's a part of my life...
I WAS going to title my traveling stand-up routine "A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to Radiation," but apparently, that won't bring in the crowds, because once you say, "Radiation," the fun is gone...That's one of the benefits of this group for me: many if not all have experienced radiation and worse, so they get that the funny thing is my horror at listening to people having sex while I'm driving... right?
Aug 27, 2009 12:47PM EWB wrote:
Hello ladies- great idea for a thread! so great no one thought of it until now...go figure.
I was dxed @ stage 4 about 1 3/4 yrs ago @ 46. My children are now 18 & 21, this fall both will be at university (one starting and the other finishing). Since I was triple +, onc put me on hormonal therapy, by passing surgery, chemo & radiation----so far things are working and I have been stable.Tried working for a year or so after the dx but retired last year -- was sooo tired and worn out even after a few hours.
I am grateful for the timing (not the cancer) as I can not imaging going thru this with little ones. I am in awe of those who are managing cancer & treatments along with young families, jobs, households, husbands etc.
Must run (ok, walk) to help pack up dd who leaves for university in Saturday. Hoping all have a good day.
Aug 27, 2009 01:49PM gibby wrote:
So this is how my week is going; My dog has sprained her leg, my cat is plucking his fur out, my Mom has broken her hip, I am trying to get ready for exchange surgery next week, my kitchen is under construction and the cupboards haven't arrived yet, the pool liner has a leak and I have company arriving from Scotland tonight. Oh ya, my daughter broke up with her boyfriend of 4 years. I have decided there is only one thing to do. Have a beer and write a country western song. Heheheheheh!
Aug 27, 2009 02:23PM elimar wrote:
gibby, we hear ya' loud & clear, and two more days in the week. Yow!
I will suggest, kleenex, that you use a more acceptable euphemism like, oh, RADISH PICKING. Try it, see how that works for you.
Aug 27, 2009 04:41PM msroulette wrote:
Happy Mo's Day (one mo's day left)
Well, I made it 5 1/2 hours at work today...never thought that stuffing envelopes would involve so much movement, and dangit I am sore now.
Gibby...would it help if we all sent HUGS? Wow what a week you are having!
Kleenex...I try to approach my cancer with a little humor to make those around me (and myself) more comfortable. I too think it is better to be approachable in terms of helping to educate other ladies. My friends may be odd, as a few of them want to see the new breasts, and one wants to FEEL them. Quite the crew huh. I've told people if they want to see the results of my surgery, the scars and such, that I would be willing to show them...the more they understand, the less likely they will be shocked/awkward when they hear of another friend or family member with BC. Maybe I'm too open, I don't know.
I big welcome aboard to the new posters!
Elimar, how are you doing today?
Aug 27, 2009 05:20PM kt57 wrote:
Hello: Been reading - now I'll jump in. Thanks elimar for getting this started.
Kleenex: Know exactly what you mean about conversation enders...even my closest friends get freaked out if I mention it -- unitl I am being funny about my hair -- or lack therof. I am thankful for the few friends I have that I can talk openly to -- worry I will wear them out sometimes. Thankful for this website for sure!
Well, you can see my bc details on the signature line --- I had an oncotype score of 29 so did 6 rounds of TC, then rads, now arimidex. Found out I am BRCA2 positve - rocked my world a bit. So now am getting ovaries out on Monday -- ovarian and breast cancer reduction strategy. Jury is still out on bilateral mastectomies -- can't do anything until 6-12 months after rads, so I have time to ponder that option...unless I have a recur/new bc in the interim -- ack!!
I did genetic counseling as an afterthought and was surprised that she recommended testing -- and it wasn't because my mom had bc at 55, it was because she considered me "young" at age 51. Any of you fellow "middle-agers" get tested?
Aug 27, 2009 05:21PM elimar wrote:
Rads #4 - The squeaky wheel...
After yesterday's revelation that 20% of my lung was getting zapped, and my reaction to that, I found out today that the doctor "put some blocks in" to see if some of that exposure could be cut down. Great! Good thing I spoke up, otherwise...???? I'll ask next week how much he was able to spare.
Feeling like I had some power of persuasion, I might try telling him, "Thirty-three Tx seems like a lot, but 30 is a nice round number." He-He-He (Sneaky laugh.)
Aug 27, 2009 06:00PM sheila888 wrote:
I have been reading this Topic everyday.
elimar.. Thanks for the thread you are a hysterically funny woman.
I really looked forward every day, then I asked myself " Stupid if you like it so much why aren't you posting it". Here I am HI LADIES I am 58 years old, divorced with 2 adult daughters. I joined the group less than 2 months ago. I didn't have a computer until February 2009 MY DD decided to bring me to 21st century, got me one for Xmas. I am so glad they did. I have a lot of postings for the time since i joined Why? because I love to play the Humor Games almost every night.
I feel so much better now that I am a part of this wonderful group.
There are too many Sheila's on the boards so I always use a smiling face logo before and after my name.
Aug 27, 2009 09:02PM Nebraskagrandma wrote:
Hi Ladies ! .......................Welcome all new posters ! (sounds kinda weird ? oh well ya get it)
I had alot to read just to catch up tonight ................Wow,
Blessings to all that have had such rough times, and LOL to all my funny friends Thanks for helping to keep our spirits up. Tomorrow I go back to the PS office hopefully the stitches are coming out from my breast lift, many will just dissolve. On my new nip, the skin graft is looking good, all the remaining stitches on that side will dissolve. Which is good because I have alot of feeling in my mx side ! ouch !
Elimar, we all know the squeaky wheel is the only way to go.............
Prayers all around !
Aug 27, 2009 09:05PM OG56 wrote:
Elimar, I did whine and received one less treatment than initially planned for! I think they felt sorry for me because my Mamosite balloon ruptured just before my last tx.
Hey Sheila glad you found us, hang around we like to laugh alot.