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All TopicsForum: "Middle Age" 40-60(ish) Years Old With Breast Cancer → Topic: Ladies in their 40s

Topic: Ladies in their 40s

Forum: "Middle Age" 40-60(ish) Years Old With Breast Cancer —

Meet others in this age-range who share similar life issues.

Posted on: Jan 13, 2014 03:11PM

YoungTurkNYC wrote:

Hello All,

I just wanted to start a new thread for ladies in their 40s.  Although we are considered "middle aged," many of us are still dealing with issues concerning young women, such as fertility, pre-menopausal status and related treatment decisions, young children at home, being single etc.  Both younger ladies (in their 20s and 30s) and older ladies (60s and above) have been so gracious to include us on their threads, but I thought we could have our own place to meet.  Also, obviously, this is not a thread to exclude anyone due to age. If you share similar concerns or issues (or if you are "near" your 40s), please post.

I will start by introducing myself - I was diagnosed at the age of 40 in October 2012.  I have two young children at home (9 year-old twins), and I still work, and I am very far away from retirement.  I did make the decision to have my ovaries removed due to the fact that I could not take tamoxifen due to a blood clotting issue, and therefore, I was sent to instant menopause.  I look forward to meeting you ladies.

Dx 10/14/2012, DCIS, 6cm+, Stage 0, Grade 2, 0/6 nodes Dx 10/14/2012, ILC, 1cm, Stage IIA, Grade 3, 0/6 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Dx 10/14/2012, IDC, 2cm, Stage IIA, Grade 3, 0/6 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 10/24/2012 Mastectomy: Right; Prophylactic mastectomy: Left Surgery 10/24/2012 Reconstruction (left): Tissue expander placement; Reconstruction (right): Tissue expander placement Chemotherapy 12/9/2012 AC + T (Taxol) Surgery 5/28/2013 Reconstruction (left); Reconstruction (right) Surgery 7/8/2013 Prophylactic ovary removal Hormonal Therapy 7/15/2013 Femara (letrozole)
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Jul 3, 2018 07:16PM - edited Jul 3, 2018 07:17PM by Puzzlewoman

Hello warrior2018, yes I'm from Cincinnati, Ohio. Wow, you were diagnosed one day after I was. How is everything going for you? Thank you for the kind words, I need them today. I don't want to stay in my shell

Dx 3/13/2018, DCIS, Left, <1cm, Stage 0, Grade 3, ER-/PR- Surgery 3/26/2018 Lumpectomy: Left Radiation Therapy 6/4/2018 Breast
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Jul 3, 2018 07:32PM Warrior2018 wrote:

😊 I’m in Boardman, about an hour away from Cleveland. I’m doing well! My surgery was 4/25 so everyday I feel a little bit better, a bit more like myself again. This nice weather helps too. I’m up at Lake Erie for the holiday. Happy 4th to you

I see you started radiation. How are you feeling?

AKA- Paleo Unicorn 🦄😊 Dx 3/14/2018, IDC, Left, 1cm, Stage IA, Grade 2, 0/6 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- (FISH) Surgery 4/25/2018 Lumpectomy: Left; Lymph node removal: Sentinel; Reconstruction (left); Reconstruction (right)
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Jul 3, 2018 09:48PM Puzzlewoman wrote:

Warrior2018, I sent you a pm

Dx 3/13/2018, DCIS, Left, <1cm, Stage 0, Grade 3, ER-/PR- Surgery 3/26/2018 Lumpectomy: Left Radiation Therapy 6/4/2018 Breast
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Jul 7, 2018 09:48AM Variable wrote:

Puzzlewoman,

Glad you made a connection with Warrior 2018. Having someone to go through this with, that truly understands the experience, is a huge help. The beginning of this process is hard, and finding your way through this new reality is a struggle. The tax on your body and mind is overwhelming, and you do feel more of everything, everywhere, all the time! I can assure you that this will eventually pass. I hear what you are saying about others not acknowledging the severity of your situation, but I really found it very unsettling when others would try to reassure me things would be fine. At that point in my diagnosis and treatment, no one could know I would be fine. I cried alone, with my family, and unfortunately in the face of every other person who brought it up! The good news is, this feeling of being alone and confused does pass. You will find your way through this state, and move onto what comes next for you. You are free to feel and deal with this however you want! Don't ever feel bad about it!

Dx 8/1/2016, IDC, Left, 2cm, Stage IIA, Grade 2, 0/2 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-
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Jul 7, 2018 10:25AM Puzzlewoman wrote:

Variable, thank you so much for your kind words. They mean a lot to me right now. Yes, there’s just too much of everything! I know I will eventually get through it, but I think I’m going to have to make some difficult changes along the way. 😊

Dx 3/13/2018, DCIS, Left, <1cm, Stage 0, Grade 3, ER-/PR- Surgery 3/26/2018 Lumpectomy: Left Radiation Therapy 6/4/2018 Breast
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Jul 23, 2018 04:34PM TwinkleCat wrote:

Hello everyone, I'm new to the "Ladies in their 40s" club -- I'm 41 (will be 42 next month) -- just got my biopsy results this morning. My mass was birads 4, so I was totally expecting it to be benign, but it came back as invasive mammary carcinoma with ductal and lobular features. The full pathology is pending -- MRI next week, and breast surgeon, medical oncologist, and radiation oncologist scheduled next week as well.

I'm still processing... it feels like I'm watching somebody else's life!

Mom to 5 cats, runner, choir nerd Dx 7/23/2018, ILC/IDC, Right, 2cm, Stage IV, metastasized to brain/bone, Grade 2, ER+/PR+, HER2-
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Jul 23, 2018 05:32PM Pi-Xi wrote:

So sorry that you got the dreaded news, TwinkleCat. I was 42 when my ordeal began. It is a bit of an out-of-body experience. I wish for you an efficient and effective treatment plan. The waiting is horrific.

Oncotype 12 Dx 4/7/2016, DCIS, Left, 2cm, Stage 0, Grade 1, ER+/PR+ Surgery 7/11/2016 Mastectomy: Left; Prophylactic mastectomy: Right; Reconstruction (left): Silicone implant; Reconstruction (right): Silicone implant Dx 8/3/2016, DCIS/IDC/IDC: Papillary, Left, 1cm, Grade 2, ER+/PR+, HER2- Hormonal Therapy 8/31/2016 Tamoxifen pills (Nolvadex, Apo-Tamox, Tamofen, Tamone)
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Jul 23, 2018 05:37PM Warrior2018 wrote:

Hi Twinkle, sorry you find yourself here, but happy to meet you. I’m 42, diagnosed this past March. It’s very difficult news and it’s so overwhelming, especially in the beginning. We’re here for you.


AKA- Paleo Unicorn 🦄😊 Dx 3/14/2018, IDC, Left, 1cm, Stage IA, Grade 2, 0/6 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- (FISH) Surgery 4/25/2018 Lumpectomy: Left; Lymph node removal: Sentinel; Reconstruction (left); Reconstruction (right)
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Jul 23, 2018 06:01PM CC2016 wrote:

hi twinkle cat. .. welcome to the club no one wants to be a member of. I was also diagnosed at 41 just over 2 years ago now. The first few weeks are the hardest when it comes to the mind games. Do the best you can to stay in the moment until you have more results, plans and FACTS about YOUR diagnosis before “researching” and spiraling out of control. BC sucks, and so does the waiting (oh the waiting)but you can get through it.

Dx at 41, with a perfect gray area diagnosis: CHEK2 +, Oncotype 22, Grade 2/3, Stage 1C Dx 5/26/2016, IDC, Right, 2cm, Stage IIA, Grade 2, 0/2 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 7/13/2016 Lumpectomy: Right; Lymph node removal: Sentinel Chemotherapy 9/13/2016 AC + T (Taxol) Radiation Therapy 1/17/2017 Whole-breast: Breast Hormonal Therapy 3/20/2017 Arimidex (anastrozole), Tamoxifen pills (Nolvadex, Apo-Tamox, Tamofen, Tamone), Zoladex (goserelin)
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Jul 23, 2018 08:43PM Sheelahdog wrote:

Hi all! I was just diagnosed and this is my 1st post. I was diagnosed just after my 49th birthday. I have a 23yr old son in college and a 20 yr old daughter who will be home in September. And a 64 yr old hubby with heart problems. I am my families sole support and I teach K-2 Special ed. I had a 5cm lump removed in my 20s that was benign but with calcification that may have been pre-cancerous or may have been due to a car accident where my chest hit the steering wheel and I broke my sternum. Now they chased a shadow off my recent mammogram and I have invasive lobular carcinoma- estrogen & progesterone positive it's tiny - 4 mm and I am very lucky they found it early....my breasts are very dense and they have sent me in for ultrasounds numerous times in the past...they almost sent me home after the 2nd mammogram cleared me, but said that since I was already scheduled for an ultrasound right after that they would go a head ... and the ultrasound found it....So I am going to have a bi-lat mastectomy with reconstruction (assuming surgeon listened to my desires). I was going to have a reduction 2 years ago that insurance wouldn't pay for. ... my grandmother had lymphoma that no one remembers where it came from...so I am hoping for smaller breasts and an immediate reconstruction and hopefully less mammograms from here on out. MRI this week and meeting with surgeons Friday and next thursday.

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Jul 23, 2018 09:14PM YoungTurkNYC wrote:

So sorry you had to join us here Sheelahdog but welcome . . .


Dx 10/14/2012, DCIS, 6cm+, Stage 0, Grade 2, 0/6 nodes Dx 10/14/2012, ILC, 1cm, Stage IIA, Grade 3, 0/6 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Dx 10/14/2012, IDC, 2cm, Stage IIA, Grade 3, 0/6 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 10/24/2012 Mastectomy: Right; Prophylactic mastectomy: Left Surgery 10/24/2012 Reconstruction (left): Tissue expander placement; Reconstruction (right): Tissue expander placement Chemotherapy 12/9/2012 AC + T (Taxol) Surgery 5/28/2013 Reconstruction (left); Reconstruction (right) Surgery 7/8/2013 Prophylactic ovary removal Hormonal Therapy 7/15/2013 Femara (letrozole)
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Jul 23, 2018 10:26PM TwinkleCat wrote:

thanks, everyone for the welcome! So glad to find this thread... I’ll keep you all posted on what I learn in the next few weeks

Mom to 5 cats, runner, choir nerd Dx 7/23/2018, ILC/IDC, Right, 2cm, Stage IV, metastasized to brain/bone, Grade 2, ER+/PR+, HER2-
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Jul 23, 2018 10:39PM Moderators wrote:

Hi Sheelahdog, welcome to our community! We hope you find this to be a place of support as you begin down this road. Please keep us posted after your MRI and appointments with the surgeons!

The Mods

To send a Private Message to the Mods: community.breastcancer.org/mem...
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Aug 3, 2018 12:16PM Piksie wrote:

Hi ladies. I was 42 at initial diagnosis in Dec '15. 45 now, and this beast is back. I see that many of you are just starting this journey. I'm so very sorry that you're here, but I hope this forum will provide some insight, relief, knowledge, etc. As much as I hate the thought of anyone fighting BC, I appreciate knowing that there are supportive women out there who understand the challenges. It was an enormous help to me last time, and I know it will be again. (thank you all in advance) :) I was overwhelmed with fear for months while we investigated every spot on my lungs, the mass on my ovary, the scars on my bones. I'm very fortunate that they all turned out to be "signs of a good life" as the radiologist phrased it. I hope you all get the same news.

I was in moderately decent shape at 42, but took two years off of physical activity, both to heal, and to get over the fear of post-op injury and the feeling that my body was broken. But I got back to it with a vengeance in Dec '17 and I'm in the best shape of my life now. Ran my first Spartan race in May and was registered for two more this year. Those will have to wait, but I WILL get back to it! I'm losing all Level I and Level II lymph nodes this time around, so it will be a long haul, but I'm going to start immediately this time and stuff myself with facts about lymphodema and how to beat it. Ladies, don't give up. Cancer f'n sucks, but we are stronger than cancer.

I'm a single mom to boys, 13 and 10. I plan to tell them this weekend about my upcoming surgery, in the most upbeat tone possible. They took it pretty well last time, but I think they will worry more this time as their grandmother just passed from cancer a few months ago. I so wish I could shield them from this, but it's tough to hide JP drains. SickTired

Hang in there, warriors! You have cancer; cancer doesn't have you.

Dx 12/12/2015, DCIS, Left, 6cm+, Stage 0, Grade 3, 0/6 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Dx 12/12/2015, IDC, Left, 6cm+, Stage IIB, Grade 2, 0/6 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 1/27/2016 Lymph node removal: Sentinel; Mastectomy: Left; Reconstruction (left): Silicone implant Surgery 10/13/2016 Reconstruction (left): Silicone implant; Reconstruction (right): Silicone implant Dx 7/17/2018, IDC, Left, Grade 2 Hormonal Therapy 7/29/2018 Arimidex (anastrozole), Zoladex (goserelin) Radiation Therapy Surgery Reconstruction (left): Silicone implant Hormonal Therapy Tamoxifen pills (Nolvadex, Apo-Tamox, Tamofen, Tamone)
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Aug 3, 2018 06:19PM KWilli wrote:

Hi Everyone, nice to meet you under such unfortunate circumstances...

I'm 42, I have a 12 yr old daughter and an 8 yr old son. I was diagnosed June 14 2018 and will start chemo on the 10th (next week). My diagnosis is IDC, ER-/PR-, HER2- >8cm, Grade 3, no stage until after surgery (after chemo).

What a surreal thing to have happen, so unexpected for me, no family history. It's been a whirlwind. I've never even been in the hospital overnight before; very little reason to see a Dr in the past at all other than regular physical check ups.


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Aug 3, 2018 09:18PM Bostoniangal25 wrote:

Hi Piksie er, sorry to hear your thing cane back!!! I m petrified that the beast can return!

I turned 41 in June, have 3 kids, and will go for chemo, I m just wondering for the first time did you do chemo or not? Or hormonal therapy, looks like you didn’t put info so that’s why I m wondering why it’s cane back second time !

So many girls here on forum thinking not taking chemo or hormonal therapy because if side effects ... I hope this time you will conquer the disease!!!

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Aug 5, 2018 09:44AM Piksie wrote:

Bostoniagal25, I did not do chemo the first time. My oncotype was 17; at the top end of "low risk". I pushed for it initially, but my oncologist talked me out of it. Told me that with my ER+/PR+ status, hormone therapy (Tamoxifen) was most effective, and chemo would be little or no added benefit. It didn't work, but I don't know that chemo would have prevented it, either. No use for "what ifs". This time around, MO still says no chemo, but my surgeon and the rest of the team say possibly, pending the dirty lymph node count. We're going for stronger hormone therapy with Arimidex and Zoladex. He's not planning to get oncotype this time, but I think I'm going to push for it. Last time I had three separate tumors and they all had different scores (17, 8, and 3). This one has its own number, too. I'm sure of it.

Dx 12/12/2015, DCIS, Left, 6cm+, Stage 0, Grade 3, 0/6 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Dx 12/12/2015, IDC, Left, 6cm+, Stage IIB, Grade 2, 0/6 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 1/27/2016 Lymph node removal: Sentinel; Mastectomy: Left; Reconstruction (left): Silicone implant Surgery 10/13/2016 Reconstruction (left): Silicone implant; Reconstruction (right): Silicone implant Dx 7/17/2018, IDC, Left, Grade 2 Hormonal Therapy 7/29/2018 Arimidex (anastrozole), Zoladex (goserelin) Radiation Therapy Surgery Reconstruction (left): Silicone implant Hormonal Therapy Tamoxifen pills (Nolvadex, Apo-Tamox, Tamofen, Tamone)
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Aug 6, 2018 12:41AM Bostoniangal25 wrote:

Piksie, thsnk you do much for replying! Sometimes weird and unwanted things happen in oncology!

My score was 29 and grade 3- aggressive, so I will do chemo for sure!

I was seeing the best surgeon of Mass General hospital in Boston for second opinion and was recommended nipple -sparing mastectomy . Was done that because they wanted to preserve the nipple, at the end I didn’t have clear margins - so my nipple was cut and went for biopsy.

So it’s hard to tell and predict ...

Hopefully we will go through this tuff time , just for our kids...

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Aug 6, 2018 01:42PM basic_bee wrote:

Hi everyone! I'm new to posting in the forums I even though I was diagnosed in Dec. 2017. I've been feeling the need to connect with more people going through this mess lately and thought I'd give this a go. I'm 43, have 2 kids (10 & 11) and a very supportive husband. I'm beginning my radiation treatments currently, and am experiencing the anxiety that seems to set in once treatment is nearly finished. It's hard to come to terms with not having frequent visits with the medical teams and to be expected to go out and live life again without fear.

Looking forward to swapping stories and sharing support!

Dx 12/19/2017, IDC, Left, 3cm, Stage IIA, Grade 3, 0/3 nodes, ER+/PR-, HER2- Chemotherapy 1/19/2018 TAC Surgery 6/1/2018 Lumpectomy: Left; Lymph node removal: Sentinel Surgery 7/2/2018 Lumpectomy: Left Radiation Therapy 8/1/2018 Whole-breast: Breast Hormonal Therapy Tamoxifen pills (Nolvadex, Apo-Tamox, Tamofen, Tamone)
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Aug 6, 2018 02:51PM Moderators wrote:

basic_bee, we are glad you have joined us here, talking about this really important issue. Thanking you for sharing with us here, and we will be here for you too! Medicating

To send a Private Message to the Mods: community.breastcancer.org/mem...
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Aug 7, 2018 02:33AM Jadedjo wrote:

I'm 43, a little over a week from my 44th birthday.happy freaking birthday to me.

No kids,no husband or boyfriend,nobody. Facing it completely alone.

Endured 5 years of hell in my life  just to find out I have breast cancer just before my 44th birthday. So the hell isnt over.

As you can tell by my post I'm not in a good mental place,i wasn't before diagnosis and it's gotten worse.

I didn't realize the things I still had left in my life until I realized thanks to this cancer I am going to lose pretty much all of them.

Blessed be to all.

Dx 7/2018, IDC, Right, ER+/PR+
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Aug 7, 2018 06:23AM RiRi11 wrote:

jade I am in the same boat of as. 42 (will turm 43 before my last chemo) no husband,no, boyfriend or kids.

It is very hard for me to ask for help so i do everything on my own. I see a therapist at my cancer center and that helps a ton. Just to have someone to cry to or talk about your fears.

I also made connections here and a local support group. I clicked with one girl a little younger than us and we meet for coffee/or dinner and it helps.

Once you get your treatment plan, some of the anixety will subside

Good luck to you and you are NOT alone

Xo

Dx 3/6/2018, IDC: Mucinous, Right, 3cm, Stage IIA, 0/1 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 4/5/2018 Lumpectomy: Right Chemotherapy 6/11/2018 Radiation Therapy
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Aug 7, 2018 08:39AM basic_bee wrote:

jade, I second RiRi11 about getting your plan. Cancer sucks. There's nothing that will change that, but finally getting a treatment plan in place will help some of the initial shock. At least it did for me, and I have heard the sentiment mentioned many times over. Also, check your community for cancer support centers. We have one near us that offers many programs for support, education, and distraction. I see a therapist too, and I found her by asking the social worker at my treatment center for a recommendation.

Dx 12/19/2017, IDC, Left, 3cm, Stage IIA, Grade 3, 0/3 nodes, ER+/PR-, HER2- Chemotherapy 1/19/2018 TAC Surgery 6/1/2018 Lumpectomy: Left; Lymph node removal: Sentinel Surgery 7/2/2018 Lumpectomy: Left Radiation Therapy 8/1/2018 Whole-breast: Breast Hormonal Therapy Tamoxifen pills (Nolvadex, Apo-Tamox, Tamofen, Tamone)
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Aug 7, 2018 12:53PM Puzzlewoman wrote:

Basic bee - hello from Ohio! 😊

I also want to send good thoughts to everyone here - we all need them right now

Dx 3/13/2018, DCIS, Left, <1cm, Stage 0, Grade 3, ER-/PR- Surgery 3/26/2018 Lumpectomy: Left Radiation Therapy 6/4/2018 Breast
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Aug 7, 2018 04:39PM odat4me wrote:

Hi! I am 47 and diagnosed with IDC. Having my lumpectomy on 8/9. I found out after my first mammogram. Totally underestimated my risk for breast cancer, so uninformed. Feel kind of foolish. Just counting my blessings that I finally went. Told my abusive husband a month before that I wanted a divorce. I was so tired of living a stressful life. This propelled me to get checked out. Divorce is on hold but hopefully not for long. Thinking of all of you when I read your posts.

I do whatever it takes Dx 7/31/2018, IDC, Right, <1cm, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 8/9/2018 Lumpectomy: Right
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Aug 8, 2018 05:08PM Jadedjo wrote:

@riri11

@basicbee

I am looking into groups available in the city unfortunately the social worker who works at the breast clinic is gone for the week and she is the one to contact about these things .

I'm still in the waiting game part as now I have to wait to see if I'm a candidate for my first choice which is dmx with dti.(much smaller size then the original boobies) second choice is dmx no recon, and I still won't have answers until after surgery which the surgeon says will prob be early oct. 

@odat4me

I'm in the same boat, I always figured colon cancer or heart attack would be what came for me. Never once considered breast cancer. 

It's not that foolish, from my understanding unless there is a family history most people don't know the risks of getting breast cancer.

Hope you get away from the abusive husband safely,don't nobody need that especially when going through a cancer diagnosis. Best wishes for a lumpectomy  with clear margins and safe and easy after treatment. Blessed be.

Dx 7/2018, IDC, Right, ER+/PR+
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Aug 11, 2018 10:58AM Spoonie77 wrote:

Hi ladies -- I wish we all weren't here but I'm so thankful that if we have to walk down (or are already walking down this hellish road) we can do it together.

I'm in the boat with many of you - no boyfriend, no husband, no children, just my 2 furbabies (Maine Coon kitty and a Jack Russell mix Rescue pup) and me. Love them to pieces. My kitty is actually the show-off; she can give high-fives, kisses, and dances on command. Smart girl! My pup, welp, that's another story - so very stubborn but so adorable and loving! I'd be lost without them!

Taking Gypsy (pup) to the dog park is the highlight of my week sometimes due to my very long history of chronic health, immune issues, Lyme Disease, CIRS, Sero-Neg Rheum Arthritis, and much more since I was a teenager = veteran Spoonie = stone-faced Warrior = "I Got This"....eventually...with some swearing.....mentality. :)

Currently waiting for BRCA results and then moving forward with surgery. Hoping I can pull off a Lump, but my team has told me they would strongly urge double Mast if I'm positive. Surgery will be slated sometime the end of the month. Then hopefully we will know what the Oncotyping is and the exact stage se we can plan Chemo/Endo Therapy.

Met with my RO last week. I'll be getting rads on all 3 levels of nodes, whole L breast, armpit too. I cannot even fathom that large of an area for treatment. Such a shock.

Anyway, just wanted to say hi and send out tons of hugs, healing vibes, and support to everyone that's in the group. You're all on my mind. <3


Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes it is the quiet voice at the end of the day that says I will try again tomorrow. ~ Mary Anne Radmacher Dx 7/20/2018, IDC, Left, 4cm, Grade 2, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 8/26/2018 Lumpectomy: Left; Lymph node removal: Left, Sentinel Chemotherapy 9/10/2018 Hormonal Therapy 9/10/2018 Tamoxifen pills (Nolvadex, Apo-Tamox, Tamofen, Tamone) Radiation Therapy 9/10/2018 Whole-breast: Breast, Lymph nodes, Chest wall
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Aug 11, 2018 03:50PM RiRi11 wrote:

hi Shanah! Good luck and prayers to a neg BRC

Dx 3/6/2018, IDC: Mucinous, Right, 3cm, Stage IIA, 0/1 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 4/5/2018 Lumpectomy: Right Chemotherapy 6/11/2018 Radiation Therapy

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