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Topic: Thought I was doing well....

Forum: "Middle Age" 40-60(ish) Years Old With Breast Cancer —

Meet others in this age-range who share similar life issues.

Posted on: Sep 19, 2015 02:42AM

hannahstripe wrote:

I need some advice - I am a big follower on these discussions but rarely post. However reading other's posts has gotten me through so many tough times in the past couple of years. I am not even sure where to begin. Having trouble in my marriage - have been fighting a lot for a while...finally after really listening to what he is saying for once - he thinks tamoxifen is changing me - making me bitchy and grumpy. I am not sure what to think because people at work and my children seem to think I am ok - occasionally sure I am bitchy but it is not effecting me at other places in my life. After thinking a lot about it today - I think the problem is how much I have changed since my diagnosis - I am a much stronger, more confident person now - a positive that cancer has given me, because it cancer can't beat me what can? right? But I am no longer a peace maker that just wants to make everyone happy and doesn't argue because I don't want conflict. I stick up for myself now and want to show my daughters how to be strong. But at the same time, this isn't fair to him because he doesn't know all this about how I feel, I never told him, I just changed. But now that I understand that, how do I make it right but make him understand this is me now!! Not going back.....


Helps just to get it all out there - he is a good man that I love, just feels like things have gotten so out of hand......

Thanks for listening...

Dx 7/11/2012, IDC, <1cm, Stage I, Grade 1, ER+/PR+, HER2- Dx 7/11/2012, DCIS, <1cm, Stage 0, Grade 1 Dx 7/11/2012, ILC, Left, 1cm, Grade 2, 0/4 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 7/25/2012 Lumpectomy: Left Surgery 8/22/2012 Lumpectomy: Left; Lymph node removal: Left, Sentinel Surgery 9/26/2012 Mastectomy: Left; Prophylactic mastectomy: Right; Reconstruction (left): Tissue expander placement; Reconstruction (right): Tissue expander placement Hormonal Therapy 11/10/2012
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Sep 19, 2015 03:01AM gypsyjo wrote:

Oh Hannah. How things we wouldn't think are connected change after cancer. I think you expressed yourself so well. I think if you just showed him your post it would open up a discussion. It's wonderful how strong & confident you sound and that you want to set an example for your daughters. This experience has changed you giving you a new reality and priorities. The drugs may also be having an effect. Whether he realizes it or not, the experience has probably changed him too. It seems the ideal time to start some discussions in a loving way.This too can be worked through. This is a good place for a sounding board. Hugs to you.


Dx 2/26/2015, IDC, Right, 1cm, Grade 2, ER+/PR+, HER2- (FISH) Surgery 3/24/2015 Lumpectomy: Right; Lymph node removal: Right, Sentinel Radiation Therapy 3/24/2015 Breast Dx 4/2/2015, IDC: Mucinous, Right, 1cm, Stage IA, Grade 1, 0/1 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- (FISH) Hormonal Therapy 4/3/2015 Arimidex (anastrozole)
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Sep 19, 2015 04:11AM hannahstripe wrote:

I think he thinks all has gone back to normal and there is no going back for me - I am who I am now. I wish we were better at talking but we usually only talk when we argue...

Dx 7/11/2012, IDC, <1cm, Stage I, Grade 1, ER+/PR+, HER2- Dx 7/11/2012, DCIS, <1cm, Stage 0, Grade 1 Dx 7/11/2012, ILC, Left, 1cm, Grade 2, 0/4 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 7/25/2012 Lumpectomy: Left Surgery 8/22/2012 Lumpectomy: Left; Lymph node removal: Left, Sentinel Surgery 9/26/2012 Mastectomy: Left; Prophylactic mastectomy: Right; Reconstruction (left): Tissue expander placement; Reconstruction (right): Tissue expander placement Hormonal Therapy 11/10/2012

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