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Topic: Feeling alone

Forum: "Middle Age" 40-60(ish) Years Old With Breast Cancer —

Meet others in this age-range who share similar life issues.

Posted on: May 26, 2017 07:25PM - edited May 26, 2017 07:26PM by Kfog1231

Kfog1231 wrote:

Recently diagnosed with breast cancer stage 2 within the last 3 weeksl. I found the lump after sore spot in my breast in the second week of April. Have had diagnostic mammograms and ultrasounds ,biopsies, first appointment with surgeon and oncologist within the last 4 weeks. My friends and family were all told about my diagnosis and what medical appointments I'm going to.

My friends have been immense support to me and I so appreciate it, however my family has not reached out once. Only time is when i call to give them an appt updateI'm really sad and feeling alone. 4 weeks into this process and I'm already feeling very alone and I can't imagine what it's going to be like in the next 2 months to 4 months. Any suggestions? How do I tell them I just need a checkin to see how my brain is doing? Or call and just not talk about the elephant Cancer in the room. Help I need support.

Dx 5/8/2017, IDC: Mucinous, Left, 3cm, Stage IIA, Grade 1, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery Radiation Therapy Balloon-catheter: Breast Hormonal Therapy Tamoxifen pills (Nolvadex, Apo-Tamox, Tamofen, Tamone)
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May 27, 2017 07:28AM Moderators wrote:

Kfog1231, welcome to!

We're sorry you have to be here, but really glad you found us. And we are so sorry you're feeling alone -- but we can guarantee you're not alone here! There's many, many helpful, supportive, knowledgeable members here who are going through or have gone through what you're experiencing. We're all here for you!

It's a long holiday weekend in the US, so the Community is a little quieter than usual, which is why you haven't have any responses to your post just yet. We're sure some of our lovely members will be stopping by shortly to offer their support!

Also, you may want to try joining the Stage II forum, or the forum to which your diagnosis corresponds -- we have a group for every and anyone!

We hope this helps and we look forward to hearing more from you soon!

--The Mods

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May 27, 2017 07:37AM wrenn wrote:

An online community is great but it doesn't replace family or in person support. BCO cannot give you that.

I would tell them how you feel in a non judgmental way. Don't say it in a way that looks like you are blaming them for anything but just that you feel alone and scared. They might reach out.

Sorry this is happening to you.

Metaplastic IDC Triple negative...Tumour is 1.5cm. BMX Aug. 16th. Chemo cancelled after one dose due to complications. Dx 7/25/2013, IDC, Left, 1cm, Stage IA, Grade 3, 0/6 nodes, ER-/PR-, HER2- Surgery 8/16/2013 Lymph node removal: Left, Sentinel, Underarm/Axillary; Mastectomy: Left, Right
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May 27, 2017 08:16AM Tappermom383 wrote:

Kfog - there are other threads on this site about family taking a step back and not being supportive - it seems to be a more common problem than we would like. All of my family is far away; my daughter (31) has been very concerned and as supportive as she can be from Colorado. I only hear from my brother and SIL when I send them an update. But I have a couple of friends close by who do reach out to me and check on me. So, what I'd suggest is you embrace those friends you say are there for you and welcome their support. Your family may come around - or not. Telling them how you feel, as wrenn suggests, is a good idea. They may be "giving you space," thinking that's what you want. Or they may be frightened and not want to share that with you

We're all here for you - this site has been my lifeline. It reminds me of the parenting group I was in when my daughter was a baby. Other parents would talk about something their babies had done; when my daughter did it, it wasn't a surprise. We won't all have the same SEs but, if they pop up, we're ready for them.

You don't say in your post what surgery you'll be having or when. You can make your diagnosis and treatments public under "settings," if you like. Then others with similar diagnoses can respond to you.

Best of luck in this unasked-for adventure.


Diagnosed at 70 after four excisional biopsies over the course of 47 years. MammaPrint came back Low Risk. DexaScan: osteopenia. Cancer removed was 1.8 cm. Dx 3/23/2017, DCIS/IDC, Right, 1cm, Stage IA, Grade 2, 0/3 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 3/31/2017 Lumpectomy: Right; Lymph node removal: Sentinel Radiation Therapy 5/22/2017 Whole-breast: Breast Hormonal Therapy 7/17/2017 Arimidex (anastrozole)

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