Oct 2, 2020 09:45PM kksmom3 wrote:
I hate it with a passion. They make $$ off of our misery and suffering.
Posted on: Oct 2, 2020 01:45PM
WHY PINKTOBER SUCKS
Although I'm sure the cash registers tingle and people get out and have fun, remember it's at the expense of others who don't view breast cancer as pink and fluffy.
We are not at all happy to celebrate this serious disease at any time of the year.
Dx 03/14, IBC, Lgth. 2cm, Stge IIIB, Gde 2B, ER+/PR+, HER2- ; FEC x3, Taxol x3; Mx & 2/23 nodes; Rads x 33; now on tamoxofin.
Posts 1 - 30 (53 total)
Oct 2, 2020 09:45PM kksmom3 wrote:
I hate it with a passion. They make $$ off of our misery and suffering.
Oct 3, 2020 07:09AM Beesie wrote:
Excellent article, Traveltext.
kksmom, for me, that they make money is not the problem. The problem is where the money goes and how it is spent. I'm okay when the $ (all the $, not just 25%, to Traveltext's point in the article) go to fund the development of new treatments or to support patients with breast cancer.
But the other problem is that regardless of how well the money is spent, almost every BC charity and fundraiser completely ignores and brushes under the rug the fact that there is any misery and suffering associated with breast cancer. It's all pink boas and balloons and happy survivors who seemingly don't have any more worries about breast cancer and no side effects from their treatments. And Stage IV... let's hide them in a dark corner and never let anyone know that they exist because, well, you know, they might spoil the party.
At least this year, with Covid, all the cheery pink crap seems to be a lot less prevalent.
Oct 3, 2020 07:24AM sbelizabeth wrote:
I feel like the Grinch of Pinkness this time of year. All that money spent for pink crap, tee-shirts, repainting police cars and fire engines and buildings. Let's have a pink party! Pink tutus! Pink clown wigs! Bedazzled pink bras! Pink wine, cookies, cakes, soda!
I didn't feel like I'd been invited to a party when I was bald, scared, and despairing that I wouldn't live long enough to see a grandchild. "Save the ta-ta's"? No. Save my life.
The pink parade trivializes and sexualizes breast cancer, and like Beesie stated, ignores the sad truth of our metastatic brothers and sisters.
Oct 5, 2020 07:47AM Betrayal wrote:
I have never celebrated my BC and hate that others feel I should do so. I have not found one aspect of BC that I feel needs to be celebrated and if one more person (including MD's) tells me I am a survivor, I will throttle them. To date, all I have survived was the brutal treatment (no, I did not do chemo but found surgery and radiation traumatic enough). I have a permanent reminder everyday that I had BC and cannot escape it since it has become the landscape of my body and is not pretty.
Oct 5, 2020 09:03AM Trishyla wrote:
I agree with everything posted on this thread, especially that people make money off my disease. Since I haven't been able to return to my former occupation as a writer due to chemo brain, I've started a jewelry business. I sell handmade survivor jewelry and I donate most of my profits from them to Breast Cancer charities. But I refuse to sell any of it during Pinktober. I will not participate in trivializing such a friggin horrible disease. There's plenty of time the rest of the year, when everyone else has moved on with their lives, to raise money for those causes that matter most to me.
Oct 5, 2020 11:28AM AliceBastable wrote:
Its all about the boobs. Think of all the other cancers that exist, some with worse survival rates. They might nominally have a month and a ribbon, but they don't get anywhere near the same attention as Breast Cancer™ because pancreases and brains and livers and bones and other body parts just aren't sexy. That's why Pinktober is about saving breasts, not lives.
Oct 5, 2020 12:09PM - edited Oct 5, 2020 12:10PM by sbelizabeth
And here we have it, at its offensive finest. A friend posted this on Facebook. I would like to post an outraged comment but don't want to offend my friend.
It makes me so...angry.
Oct 5, 2020 12:25PM Beesie wrote:
selizabeth, what I would do is post a simple "Breast cancer also steals lives. Saving lives is more important to me than saving second base." and maybe even add a smiley face at the end to show that I'm saying it in good cheer and not anger (even though I'd be fuming). Did your friend include a link for donations to a BC charity? Because if not, I would probably ask, "So where should we be donating to show our support?" It would appear supportive but would subtly make the point that a silly meme doesn't do a bloody thing to help anyone.
Oct 5, 2020 12:36PM - edited Oct 5, 2020 04:58PM by Traveltext
OMG, this meme fails on so many levels. Good advice from Beesie,and I'd add that describing breasts as second base is really crude terminology. Hard to believe, in this day and age, that sexist advertising like this even exists, let alone is used on such a serious disease.
Oct 5, 2020 04:37PM Betrayal wrote:
Agree with Beesie's suggestion. Did your friend not realize that this would be offensive to you? If not, why not? Besides the fact, do males with BC consider these to be second base? This meme fails on multiple levels including the friendship one. While I might not want to embarrasss my friend online, at some point I would have to point out how tasteless and hurtful I found this posting.
Oct 5, 2020 04:48PM MountainMia wrote:
Yes, I agree with Betrayal. Better not to respond rudely in the same comment thread, but please consider letting her know that "second base" isn't the big concern for most of us, and the sexism in that meme is just gross. Haven't we ALL had "disfiguring" surgery? Don't we ALL have physical scars? You CAN'T prevent breast cancer with screening, so it's not like there is some way to prevent the surgery once cancer is diagnosed. UGH.
As to Pinktober, I don't see a lot of advertising, so perhaps it doesn't affect me as much. But the concept of using cancer to puff profits, to "raise awareness," but not fund cures, is offensive.
Oct 5, 2020 05:15PM Traveltext wrote:
Second base was a term I knew when I was a teenager in the Sixties. It’s so outdated that I’m really surprised to see it pop up 50 years later, and especially in the breast cancer fundraising month.
Oct 5, 2020 06:13PM rubyredslippers wrote:
Everything about it is wrong. Every year we are bombarded with it. BBQ for Boobs and so on. Seemingly, the fact that the topic is a deadly cancer is lost int he scramble to cash in with the 'sex sells' so lets focus on boobs, or otherwise, thinking that this is clever and makes people giggle. Nothing about breast cancer is sexy or funny. Hate it. Every year it's a month of rubbish that adds to my stress. As for worrying about offending your friend - I'm so offended by that I wouldnt care how offended she was by what I said. That's an insult to all women, as it implies that cancer isn't the problem, women dying isnt the problem ... astounding that anyone buys into this stuff.
Oct 5, 2020 07:35PM - edited Oct 5, 2020 07:36PM by ShetlandPony
In replying to that tasteless post, what Beesie said, and then don't forget to suggest where people can donate and have their donation actually fund research for better treatment/cure or directly help patients. Direct that small impulse to do something into an actually helpful path.
Oct 5, 2020 07:48PM 2019whatayear wrote:
I hate the patriarchal framing of breast cancer !!! It's dismissive and demeaning to every person who has breast cancer. I also can't stand the whole "brave" "warrior" "battle" framing of it all. So as you can imagine the popular "Fight Like A Girl" annoy me to no end. I don't see any "Fight like a Boy" shirts out there for prostate cancer--and why not? because it's ridiculous.
If you haven't had a chance to do so already, and if you are fired up about the BS that is pinktober, here is a link where if you are in the US you can take action to tell your representative and senators to co sponsor the Metastatic Breast Cancer Access to Care Act
Oct 15, 2020 01:41PM Beesie wrote:
I just saw the following article.
Yup, another mindless celebrity promoting Breast Cancer Awareness Month by displaying her breasts. But it's okay, because a whopping 5% of the proceeds from October sales of these bras will be donated to the Women's Cancer Research Fund, a charitable fund set up by celebrities for celebrities - oh, how exciting!
Oct 17, 2020 07:44AM MelissaDallas wrote:
I aam bitch. I posted the following response to my (pharmacist!) friend as to her above picture on Facebook:
Do you know what women on the breastcancer.org discussion boards call this month? Puketober or Focktober. They despise the sexualized cutesy sparkly pinkness (especially the men with breast cancer) and find it extremely offensive that people are talking about "saving the tatas" or "saving second base" instead of saving their lives. Women diagnosed de novo Stage IV are particularly horrified, since they are pretty much left out of this. "Awareness" and screening has not changed the fact that approximately 30% of women diagnosed with early stage breast cancer will go on to metastatic breast cancer and die from it. All the campaigns have made people think that cute breast cancer is a "good one" to get. We don't sexualize or make testicular cancer "cutesy." Another fact: most breast cancers (except DCIS, which the medical profession is investigating as being overtreated) are still found by DIAGNOSTIC mammograms because a person or their doctor felt or saw something. Not by "screening" mammograms.
Oct 17, 2020 09:35AM kksmom3 wrote:
Good!! Tell it like it is! You go, MelissaDallas!!!
Oct 17, 2020 10:07AM AliceBastable wrote:
Oct 17, 2020 10:50AM Beesie wrote:
Excellent response! You told her off by educating her and anyone else reading.
Oct 17, 2020 12:26PM Betrayal wrote:
Oct 17, 2020 09:34PM sbelizabeth wrote:
Way to go. What did your friend say in response?
As long as breast cancer is represented as pink, cute, sexy, fun, 100% survivable, a good reason to throw a party...the gritty realities will be buried.
Oct 18, 2020 02:53AM - edited Oct 18, 2020 02:53AM by MelissaDallas
Her reaction was simply “Wow!" (In other words, that was bitchy of you to post that screed, or that is how I took it...)
Oct 18, 2020 08:28AM kksmom3 wrote:
She probably meant to be helpful.......but that cartoon is dumb and offensive.
Oct 18, 2020 08:54AM Whatjusthappened wrote:
I was the recipient of direct monetary support from a couple of different BC advocacy groups. These groups raise their money primarily through breast cancer walks in the the month of October. Yes, I find the pageantry to be over the top and mottos like "save the tatas" to be highly offensive. But, the money that some of these groups raise goes directly to help women struggling to pay for treatments and other breast cancer related costs. I think it's important to differentiate between groups that are in it for profit and those whose hearts are in the right place (many of which are founded by survivors).
I don't think that most people realize how offensive some posts and slogans are. I certainly wouldn't have before I was diagnosed and started reading the stories of the men and women on this forum. I think it's important to keep providing gentle redirection (and not so gentle redirection when required) to counter the misinformation and sexualization that is out there.
Oct 21, 2020 08:23PM Traveltext wrote:
Here’s an interesting article on a topic dear to our hearts.
Oct 21, 2020 08:41PM Beesie wrote:
Excellent article, thanks for linking it, Traveltext!
Oct 21, 2020 08:52PM sbelizabeth wrote:
What truth here. Thanks, TT.