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Topic: Just Not Into My Job Anymore

Forum: Employment, Insurance, and Other Financial Issues —

Employment, insurance, and financial concerns are common. Meet others here to discuss and for support.

Posted on: Apr 19, 2017 09:13PM

Jojobird wrote:

I'm four months out of treatment. NED, energy levels creeping back up, life is overall feeling better.

But I'm back at work, and just not feeling the connection. My coworkers are wonderful. Seriously, some of the best people I've ever worked with. Kind, supportive, gracious. Couldn't ask for better. But.....the engagement and interest I used to feel about my job just isn't there. Of course I do everything with fidelity - I do all my work and follow through. I'm not a sourpuss. But I am....quieter. I volunteer less. I'm not a super go-getter -- just way more subdued.

Has anyone had this happen after treatment? I'm trying to be ok with this for now, and to accept that this is a process. That this, too, is part of healing from cancer. That I am a changed person, that my priorities have shifted. But it's difficult when I feel like others are getting trained, moving ahead, signing up for extras, and I'm the quiet short-haired lady in the back of the room, a little more tired than normal but getting by.

Would love to hear your stories about back to work.

My blog: chestybreastypuller.blogspot.com/ Dx 3/2016, IDC, Right, 6cm+, Stage IIIC, Grade 3, 21/21 nodes, ER-/PR-, HER2- Chemotherapy AC + T (Taxol) Surgery Lymph node removal: Underarm/Axillary; Mastectomy: Right Radiation Therapy Whole-breast: Breast, Lymph nodes
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Apr 19, 2017 09:39PM gracie22 wrote:

Wow, I bet you will get a lot of responses. I am a couple of years out, and wish I had an answer as I feel disengaged myself. I am being dutiful; the rote stuff, okay, no problem. Things that need more creativity or focus are a bit of a slog. I think for myself that having gone through a gauntlet of internal emotions over the whole cancer thing, it is hard to take work issues too terribly seriously; dealing with your own mortality kind of trumps everything else. I am actually worse now; I think when i came back to work after surgery (BMX) i was very invested in proving that i was totally back for the first year, and i worked very hard and tried not to think about things. But in the interim my work ardor just sort of cooled. Not feeling depressed; oddly, there is a freedom in being kind of unshakeable. Hard for a boss or anyone else to strike fear in my heart. I don't care to be homeless, so I will carry on. But yeah, the whole deadline/stress/get it done dynamic of my pre-cancer self appears to be gone; so much of it seems silly and pointless.

Dx IDC, Right, 4cm, Stage IIA, Grade 3, 0/2 nodes, ER-/PR-, HER2+ (FISH) Surgery Mastectomy: Left, Right; Reconstruction (left); Reconstruction (right): Silicone implant
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Apr 19, 2017 10:00PM octogirl wrote:

I worked all through active treatment, with only a few days off during chemo, so it wasn't really a question of going back to work...but something changed for me too. At some point, my priorities changed and work no longer held joy for me. I would have moments when I felt inspired, but it became more and more of a slog...so, given my age (early sixties) and nice retirement benefits offered by my employer, I decided to retire. Last day before retirement: June 30th. Some days I feel stressed about all I have to do between now and then (it will never get done) but honestly, I can't wait!

I'd say if retirement is not an option for you, it might be worth considering whether a change of jobs could reengage.

hugs!

Octogirl

Dx 6/18/2015, IDC, Right, 2cm, Stage IIA, Grade 2, 0/1 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 7/16/2015 Lumpectomy: Right; Lymph node removal: Sentinel Chemotherapy 9/9/2015 Cytoxan (cyclophosphamide), Taxotere (docetaxel) Radiation Therapy 12/15/2015 Hormonal Therapy 1/15/2016 Arimidex (anastrozole) Hormonal Therapy 4/8/2016 Femara (letrozole)
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Apr 19, 2017 10:04PM ksusan wrote:

I had a similar experience. I'm a little over 1.5 years out from active treatment and I'm only just becoming energized and interested about work again.

Mutant uprising quashed. Dx 1/2015, IDC, Right, Stage IIA, 1/1 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Dx 1/2015, DCIS, Left, Stage 0, Grade 3, 0/2 nodes Hormonal Therapy Tamoxifen pills (Nolvadex, Apo-Tamox, Tamofen, Tamone) Surgery Lymph node removal: Sentinel; Mastectomy: Left, Right Radiation Therapy Whole-breast Chemotherapy Cytoxan (cyclophosphamide), Taxotere (docetaxel)
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Apr 20, 2017 09:26AM vlnrph wrote:

Congrats to octogirl on retirement! That is the option I chose after returning for 18 months. I wanted to travel and did not have enough vacation time so was able to quit. There is now more opportunity for fitness, new hobbies such as genealogy in addition toold favorites like playing violin and Bible study.

My clinic did a neuropysch cognitive test prior to chemo. I asked for a follow-up wondering whether my brain was still functional and actually did better once treatment was behind me and I knew what to expect during the exam which involved a memory quiz, number/letter sequences, etc.

I agree with gracie about the change in perspective and hope everyone reading this finds the situation that works for them. Since a cancer 'survivor' has been through more than most people (health wise, at least) realizing what is important to you is key.

IDC too! Rt MX/DIEP 4-2011; ALND 5-2011 d/t micromets; TC X 4; tamoxifen; lymphedema as of 9-18-11; switch to letrozole 3-15-14; Discovery made during chemo=I'm a human BEING, not a human DOING Dx 3/7/2011, ILC, 2cm, Stage IIA, Grade 2, 1/25 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-
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Apr 20, 2017 09:30AM gb2115 wrote:

Yeah, I go to work for the paycheck and benefits. Other things are more important now. I still do my job, but I'm more along the lines of "it's just a job" these days. I'd much rather be at home with my family.

Dx IDC in October 2016, stage 2A, 1.2 cm ER/PR+ Her2-, Grade 2, 1/3 nodes. Mammaprint low risk luminal A, Lumpectomy + radiation + tamoxifen.
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Apr 20, 2017 08:55PM Nel wrote:

you are not alone.  I have continued to work, 5+ years, I was dx with stage 4 in 2013.    It has been a struggle.  I have days where I am fully engaged and working on all burners and more days when I am not. Fortunately before cancer dx, I could be super efficient.  Since dx I work more slowly, but I still get plenty done. Just no enthusiasm.  I will be 63 in July, also retiring June 30th.  Downsizing, thinking the next chapter.   I have decided to go sooner rather than later, who knows what life holds and I want to enjoy my time. 


You can't stop the waves, but you can learn to surf Dx 9/27/2011, IBC, Stage IIIB, ER-/PR-, HER2+ Dx 8/6/2013, IBC, Stage IV, ER-/PR-, HER2+
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Apr 27, 2017 09:21PM gardengypsy wrote:

Right now I am trying to decide whether it's time to end my professional career. I was gone for treatment, and went back 6 weeks after rads. I lasted 6 months. It was so, so difficult.

I don't think I will ever be able to work that hard again. But a new career? At age 55? With the SEs I have?? Probably not.

I am grateful for my LTD policy. I am doing well without the stress and physical hardship of getting up at 5 AM every day.

Dx 10/29/2015, ILC/IDC, Left, 5cm, Stage IIIA, Grade 3, 1/1 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 12/3/2015 Lymph node removal: Sentinel; Mastectomy; Reconstruction (left): Tissue expander placement Chemotherapy 1/9/2016 AC + T (Taxol) Surgery 5/23/2016 Hormonal Therapy 5/27/2016 Tamoxifen pills (Nolvadex, Apo-Tamox, Tamofen, Tamone) Radiation Therapy 6/5/2016 Whole-breast: Breast, Lymph nodes, Chest wall
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Apr 27, 2017 09:33PM Jojobird wrote:

Thank you for all of the responses!

Gracie - I completely relate. There are work "stressors" that just don't shake me anymore. Having faced death, a "crisis" of misplaced files, for example, does not phase me. I wonder if that will ever change.

octogirl - Congrats on retirement! If things don't change I might start looking into the retirement policy. That leisurely cup of coffee in the morning...cheers to you.

ksusan, I'm hoping 1.5 years will provide a similar renewal.

vlnrph - I am wondering if I should do a neuropsych eval as well. Was it part of treatment protocol?

gb. Nel, and gardengypsy, I feel your uncertainty about what direction to take. It's hard to be ok with not being "in love" with your job I think - there's a lot of pressure to be special or extraordinary at work. I wish you peace in your decision making.

My blog: chestybreastypuller.blogspot.com/ Dx 3/2016, IDC, Right, 6cm+, Stage IIIC, Grade 3, 21/21 nodes, ER-/PR-, HER2- Chemotherapy AC + T (Taxol) Surgery Lymph node removal: Underarm/Axillary; Mastectomy: Right Radiation Therapy Whole-breast: Breast, Lymph nodes
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Apr 27, 2017 09:48PM gardengypsy wrote:

Jojo~ I had a full neuropsych eval. I wanted to document my struggles with decision making, planning, organization,memory and fatigue. This was vital to my disability application process, but also for a baseline for improvement over time.

Dx 10/29/2015, ILC/IDC, Left, 5cm, Stage IIIA, Grade 3, 1/1 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 12/3/2015 Lymph node removal: Sentinel; Mastectomy; Reconstruction (left): Tissue expander placement Chemotherapy 1/9/2016 AC + T (Taxol) Surgery 5/23/2016 Hormonal Therapy 5/27/2016 Tamoxifen pills (Nolvadex, Apo-Tamox, Tamofen, Tamone) Radiation Therapy 6/5/2016 Whole-breast: Breast, Lymph nodes, Chest wall
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Apr 27, 2017 10:43PM - edited Apr 27, 2017 10:43PM by ChiSandy

Since I retired from law practice back in 2012, my “job" has been as a touring performing songwriter, both solo and in a duo. But I've gotten less and less into my music, starting when my husband had his near-fatal “colonoscopy accident" and especially now that I've had breast cancer. I think it's more of a realization that because life is short and tomorrow isn't a given, some things are far more important than professional & artistic success. At 66, I'm not going to play any more prestigious gigs than I did before, nor will my music reach a wider audience. (And the new model of the music industry practically guarantees that only stars will make much of a living from selling recordings either hard-copy or digital; and there are more things—many if not most of them free—that compete for audiences' time and entertainment dollar, so it's getting harder to draw well at concerts and coffeehouses). I can no longer spend 10 days at a time away from my family, drive 10 hrs. a day, or even 6 or 7 on a day I must perform. I'm tired of living out of a suitcase in motels, or even alone in nice hotels. My husband isn't getting any younger and is still working long and late hours—I'm tired of our being like ships that pass in the night; of scheduling my trips away to coincide with his on-duty weekends only to have him switch call with other doctors at the last minute so that I am away when he is off work.

I also realize our family income doesn't depend to any degree on my music revenue—in fact, because of hotel & meal expenses I'm running a net loss. My singing partner, though, needs to make money from music because his wife's disability income and art/craft sales don't meet their expenses—so he has been taking gigs at sr. centers that prefer men over women entertainers (given the demographic, that we tend to outlive men, it's logical) and have dwindling budgets that can barely pay one performer; and even so, he has begun taking temp day jobs in construction and custodial work again. (And he's not much younger than I am).

Bob is getting more and more fed up with his commute (given Chicago's insistence on having only two seasons—construction and Snow Day) down to the southwest suburbs, especially now that long drives are impacting his knees and hamstrings. We have no desire to move to those suburbs—in fact, the thought of packing again gives us hives. He is seriously considering retiring while we're both still healthy enough to enjoy retirement. We're realizing that we want to spend the rest of our lives actually (rather than technically) together.

Diagnosed at 64 on routine annual mammo, no lump. OncotypeDX 16. I cried because I had no shoes...but then again, I won’t get blisters.... Dx 9/9/2015, IDC, Right, 1cm, Stage IA, Grade 2, 0/4 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 9/23/2015 Lumpectomy: Right Radiation Therapy 11/2/2015 3DCRT: Breast Hormonal Therapy 12/31/2015 Femara (letrozole)
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May 17, 2017 07:29AM Wumberlog wrote:

So happy to read your post - I thought it was just me being neurotic. My job just doesn't feel relevant to me since I finished radiation a month ago. Sure, I'm tired and can leave early if I want, but the larger issue is that I just don't care about what I'm doing, and the conflict over minuscule issues seems silly to me. I am 63 1/2 and could retire, as I see others on this thread are doing. But I'm so fatigued I worry I'll just lie on the couch and binge-watch Netflix all day. The structure of work might be helpful, but would I rather work out my own daily structure? I also have a long commute, about 90 minutes each way on public transportation. That just feels like a waste of time and energy. Took a week of vacation, but I need to resolve the issue before too long. Looking forward to reading more from folks.

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May 17, 2017 07:51PM gardengypsy wrote:

Wumberlog~

I can really relate to those conflicts over "minuscule" issues. That kind of thing just zaps me. In my job, folks will go round and round over things and never move forward.

The commuting also. I have driven 1.5 hours RT to work for over 20 years. Done with that!

In your quest for structure, have you considered volunteering for an organization that reflects your social beliefs? You can still work, but let it be on your terms..

Chi~ I've read your posts across many threads, and have appreciated your perspective on many levels. I love how you say that you and your husband will "actually" be together if you make this choice.

You are both at an acceptable retirement age. At 55, I am not. Once I have regained stamina and strength, with neuropathy and chemo brain just a memory, I will need to find work.

I envision something that does not consume me, as my teaching career has. Ready for a simpler life, but do not know if I can afford it!

Dx 10/29/2015, ILC/IDC, Left, 5cm, Stage IIIA, Grade 3, 1/1 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 12/3/2015 Lymph node removal: Sentinel; Mastectomy; Reconstruction (left): Tissue expander placement Chemotherapy 1/9/2016 AC + T (Taxol) Surgery 5/23/2016 Hormonal Therapy 5/27/2016 Tamoxifen pills (Nolvadex, Apo-Tamox, Tamofen, Tamone) Radiation Therapy 6/5/2016 Whole-breast: Breast, Lymph nodes, Chest wall
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May 17, 2017 10:08PM mustlovepoodles wrote:

Count me in.  In July I'm coming up on my 2yr anniversary of finding out I had BC. I worked all through lumpectomy, re-excision, chemo, and BMX and its complications.  In the last 6 months I have become less and less enthusiastic about my work. Part of it is that my mother has been seriously ill and now is dying. My attention is divided.  But a big part of it started before then. Breast cancer definitely reset my priorities. My DH is disabled with heart and lung disease. He has almost died 4 times. We're 60 and there's no telling how much longer either of us have. I used to think that he would die first, but now, who knows?  We need to be spending as much time together as possible.

We've always wanted to move to the north Georgia mountains. The thing that has held us back in my job.   Well, my job responsibilities recently changed and it looks like I will be retiring soon. I've been a nurse 40 years and while I will always *be* a nurse, I no longer want to earn my living as a nurse. I have other skills. I may decide to work in a school, a resort, or even Chick-fil-A.  We decided to downsize.  We are renovating the house, hoping to get it on the market and sold by the end of July. After that we'll move to the mountains where we have an RV and see how things go.  We may spend some time out in the Pacific Northwest, where my sister lives. We may spend the winter in Florida where DHs sister lives.  Don't know. Don't care. We are both ready to move on to the next phase of our lives. Tiny House, anyone?

Oncotype 23. Positive for PALB2 & Chek2 gene mutations. My breasts are trying to kill me! Dx 7/20/2015, DCIS/IDC, Right, 1cm, Stage IA, Grade 3, 0/2 nodes, ER+/PR-, HER2- Surgery 8/20/2015 Lumpectomy Surgery 9/2/2015 Lumpectomy: Right Chemotherapy 10/19/2015 Cytoxan (cyclophosphamide), Taxotere (docetaxel) Surgery 2/4/2016 Prophylactic mastectomy: Left, Right Surgery 10/18/2016 Hormonal Therapy Femara (letrozole) Surgery
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May 21, 2017 07:36AM TwoHobbies wrote:

I can so relate to everyone. My work is not soul fulfilling. We have had tons of changes at work and wait, I know you will be shocked, but none of them good for the employees. I would give anything to not have to work but financially I havent come to a solution. Poodles I am thinking along your lines of remodeling the house and moving on but I have a son in college with a chronic expensive disease and I have an expensive disease so it will still have to be three or more years. I hope to make a plan that involves remodeling the house and finding a place I would like to move to that would be cheaper to live. I have no plan for health insurance however. At 56 I am no where near medicare and not sure what is happening with healthcare availabilty in this country.

In short, I am overwhelmed thinking about my future. What are you early retirees doing for health insurance?

Round 1 -bmx, tug flap reconstruction, tamoxifen. Local Recurrence-excision, TCx4, radiation, Zoladex, Anastrazole. Dx 2/22/2011, IDC, 2cm, Stage IIA, Grade 2, 0/7 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Dx 4/25/2013, <1cm, Grade 2, 0/1 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-
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May 22, 2017 08:54AM Castigame wrote:

i hated my job to my core. There was a constant stress and bullying. I happen to think the stress tipped the hornonal scale which made my bomb exploded on my face. Currently short term.disability but i need to use 2 month of LTD.


My hubby is admant me not going back. I have been thinking of SSD but then again the income reduction factor and will be taxed on SSD. And my breast bomb has to be watched over for any recurrences and etc. I can probably milk my job while collecting any potential harassment info


Such a dilemma

Mimi Surgery 2/15/2017 Lymph node removal: Left, Sentinel, Underarm/Axillary; Mastectomy: Left, Right Chemotherapy 3/21/2017 Radiation Therapy 7/31/2017 Whole-breast: Breast, Lymph nodes, Chest wall
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May 22, 2017 08:42PM - edited May 23, 2017 01:41AM by gardengypsy

TwoHobbies,

I am on disability right now, and I may quit my job altogether. If and when I do that, I will pay a percentage of my health care insurance costs.

I believe we are all eligible for that; it's just a matter of how much we contribute.

I am only 55, too young for retirement. If I have to go back to work, I envision something much more simple than my career path. I need a job that does not consume me..

I love the idea of down sizing. I am getting roommates to supplement my income, perhaps will do Airbnb.

Reba-I did not know that SSDI was taxed.. I have been forced to apply for SSDI by my private insurer.

My private disability payments are not being taxed right now. Even though it only pays 65% of my income, I am getting as much as I was when I was working because I had been paying so much in taxes!!!


Dx 10/29/2015, ILC/IDC, Left, 5cm, Stage IIIA, Grade 3, 1/1 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 12/3/2015 Lymph node removal: Sentinel; Mastectomy; Reconstruction (left): Tissue expander placement Chemotherapy 1/9/2016 AC + T (Taxol) Surgery 5/23/2016 Hormonal Therapy 5/27/2016 Tamoxifen pills (Nolvadex, Apo-Tamox, Tamofen, Tamone) Radiation Therapy 6/5/2016 Whole-breast: Breast, Lymph nodes, Chest wall
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May 23, 2017 07:49AM myToyStory2 wrote:

Just left my job of 10 years for the exact same reason! Felt disconnected, checked out and uninspired. Too many personnel changes led me to questioning if I was still invested enough to help train new staff, and I determined I wasn't. Had my first official day at my new job yesterday.....and LOVED it! Exactly the change I needed in my life! Also added a part time job at a local health club to help me feel inspired to keep up a healthy lifestyle and surround myself with positive folks. A job change could be just what you need to feel re-charged - it worked for me!

Dx 3/11/2016, DCIS, Left, Stage 0, ER+/PR+ Surgery 5/16/2016 Mastectomy: Left; Prophylactic mastectomy: Right; Reconstruction (left): Tissue expander placement; Reconstruction (right): Tissue expander placement Surgery 10/26/2016 Reconstruction (left): Silicone implant; Reconstruction (right): Silicone implant
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May 23, 2017 07:40PM gardengypsy wrote:

ToyStory~ Congrats! Great news. I feel better!

Dx 10/29/2015, ILC/IDC, Left, 5cm, Stage IIIA, Grade 3, 1/1 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 12/3/2015 Lymph node removal: Sentinel; Mastectomy; Reconstruction (left): Tissue expander placement Chemotherapy 1/9/2016 AC + T (Taxol) Surgery 5/23/2016 Hormonal Therapy 5/27/2016 Tamoxifen pills (Nolvadex, Apo-Tamox, Tamofen, Tamone) Radiation Therapy 6/5/2016 Whole-breast: Breast, Lymph nodes, Chest wall
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Jun 1, 2017 03:42PM rosiesgirl wrote:

This thread is exactly what I came on today looking for. It is good to know that I am not the only one feeling this way. I have been back to work for 1 year after being off for a year. It has been extremely difficult. My boss has allowed me to work from home as needed, but he just retired and I don't know what the future boss will allow. My commute is currently taking me almost 2 hours each way! I am on a very stressful project. I just can't do it anymore. I have so many SE from chemo, surgery rads. I have neuropathy in hands and feet, muscle wasting, chronic fatigue, bilateral foot drop, lymphedema, as a partial list. I am sure I could go back out on disability, but hate to pull that trigger. I am just not sure how much longer I can do this!

Joy

DX 11/12/14, IBC ER+ PR+ HER2+ Neoadjutive Therapy, -ACx6, Taxol x12 Herceptin, Perjeta. Grade 3 tumor, Stage 3b, 7.7cm Dx 11/3/2014, IBC, Left, 6cm+, Stage IIIB, Grade 3, ER+/PR+, HER2+ (FISH) Chemotherapy 12/15/2014 Abraxane (albumin-bound or nab-paclitaxel), Adriamycin (doxorubicin), Carboplatin (Paraplatin), Taxol (paclitaxel) Targeted Therapy 2/1/2015 Herceptin (trastuzumab) Surgery 5/27/2015 Lymph node removal: Left, Underarm/Axillary; Mastectomy: Left; Reconstruction (left): DIEP flap; Reconstruction (right) Radiation Therapy 7/15/2015 Breast, Lymph nodes, Chest wall Hormonal Therapy 10/1/2015 Arimidex (anastrozole) Surgery 8/1/2016 Prophylactic mastectomy: Right; Reconstruction (left): DIEP flap; Reconstruction (right): Fat grafting Dx 8/15/2017, IBC, 2cm, Stage IV, metastasized to bone, Grade 3, 0/17 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2+ (FISH)
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Jun 1, 2017 05:25PM Spookiesmom wrote:

I retired at 61. Had planned on staying till 65, but it was getting to the point of me calling off at least a half day a week, sometimes a full day, weekly. Totally burned out. And this was before cancer.

My employer allowed me to keep the insurance I had from them, at full price. This wasn't COBRA. At $600 a month for just me, it was rather expensive.

Money was really scarce, the trade off, mentally I felt so much better. Was worth all the struggles. Then I got other serious issues, never worked again.

I've been NED 5 years now. Have no desire to work. Am doing exactly what I want, when I want, how I want. Most retirees I know say they don't know how they worked, they are so busy now.

A part time job, or volunteer somewhere are good ideas.

Love north Ga mountains! Helen is a neat little town, and tiny houses are great❤️ Wish I could get one.

Dx IDC, Stage IIIA, Grade 3
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Jun 1, 2017 08:53PM gardengypsy wrote:

Joy~ On top of that brutal drive,your list of health problems is way too long. It's time to take care of yourself! As much as possible, this is what survivorship should be. I am happily on disability. Do you have private employer disability insurance?

Dx 10/29/2015, ILC/IDC, Left, 5cm, Stage IIIA, Grade 3, 1/1 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 12/3/2015 Lymph node removal: Sentinel; Mastectomy; Reconstruction (left): Tissue expander placement Chemotherapy 1/9/2016 AC + T (Taxol) Surgery 5/23/2016 Hormonal Therapy 5/27/2016 Tamoxifen pills (Nolvadex, Apo-Tamox, Tamofen, Tamone) Radiation Therapy 6/5/2016 Whole-breast: Breast, Lymph nodes, Chest wall
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Jun 6, 2017 07:12PM rosiesgirl wrote:

Thanks for the reply Gardengypsy. I do have private disability insurance that will kick in after 1 year. I would be able to collect my work disability until then. Why do I feel guilty about leaving my job? My husband and family are supportive. I feel like I am leaving my employer at a bad time, but whose life is it? I am just struggling. I see my symptom management doctor in 2 weeks and I am going to discuss going back out on disability with him. After being back to work for a year and a half it is getting harder, not easier!

Joy

DX 11/12/14, IBC ER+ PR+ HER2+ Neoadjutive Therapy, -ACx6, Taxol x12 Herceptin, Perjeta. Grade 3 tumor, Stage 3b, 7.7cm Dx 11/3/2014, IBC, Left, 6cm+, Stage IIIB, Grade 3, ER+/PR+, HER2+ (FISH) Chemotherapy 12/15/2014 Abraxane (albumin-bound or nab-paclitaxel), Adriamycin (doxorubicin), Carboplatin (Paraplatin), Taxol (paclitaxel) Targeted Therapy 2/1/2015 Herceptin (trastuzumab) Surgery 5/27/2015 Lymph node removal: Left, Underarm/Axillary; Mastectomy: Left; Reconstruction (left): DIEP flap; Reconstruction (right) Radiation Therapy 7/15/2015 Breast, Lymph nodes, Chest wall Hormonal Therapy 10/1/2015 Arimidex (anastrozole) Surgery 8/1/2016 Prophylactic mastectomy: Right; Reconstruction (left): DIEP flap; Reconstruction (right): Fat grafting Dx 8/15/2017, IBC, 2cm, Stage IV, metastasized to bone, Grade 3, 0/17 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2+ (FISH)
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Jun 6, 2017 07:51PM Rosiesride wrote:

Wow...I am also at this point...3 years out of treatment...57 years old...teaching K and so, so tired. I see a lot of people retiring and I feel like that is what I am ready to do, but due to insurance and benefits, I need to stay until I am 60...not sure how long I can endure the 5:30 wake up! But when hit with cancer, and priorities change, you just want to enjoy every day and take care of yourself. I have also lost my motivation and I don't say too much or get involved as much as I used to. Just tired. Glad I found this thread...it's been a stress for me this year. Rosie

Dx 12/17/2013, ILC, <1cm, Stage IIB, Grade 2, 3/11 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 1/2/2014 Lumpectomy: Right; Lymph node removal: Right, Sentinel, Underarm/Axillary Chemotherapy 2/9/2014 Adriamycin (doxorubicin), Cytoxan (cyclophosphamide), Taxotere (docetaxel) Radiation Therapy 6/18/2014 Breast, Lymph nodes Hormonal Therapy 8/28/2014
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Jun 6, 2017 08:05PM Rosiesride wrote:

Two Hobbies...I am 57 and was so ready to retire after this school year...but sadly, I need to have 20 years or be 60 years of age to get the health benefit for myself...this will happen simultaneously on my 60th birthday so I am in it for 3 more years.

Thinking about retiring has been an eye opener in regards to financial stress it would put on me. Carrying husband and daughters on my medical insurance, and knowing that my salary would be severely cut, gives me no choice but to continue, even though it is exhausting. I plan on meeting with a financial advisor and see what the future looks like without my salary!! There is no way I could stay until 65...it's pushing it to stay 3 more years! But like most of us on here, the medical insurance is our biggest concern. Even though I don't think of my cancer much...it will always play a role in our lives one way or another. Sucks. Rosie

Dx 12/17/2013, ILC, <1cm, Stage IIB, Grade 2, 3/11 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 1/2/2014 Lumpectomy: Right; Lymph node removal: Right, Sentinel, Underarm/Axillary Chemotherapy 2/9/2014 Adriamycin (doxorubicin), Cytoxan (cyclophosphamide), Taxotere (docetaxel) Radiation Therapy 6/18/2014 Breast, Lymph nodes Hormonal Therapy 8/28/2014
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Jun 6, 2017 08:13PM Rosiesride wrote:

Garden gypsy...I am having a neuropsych this summer for a baseline. Saw doc in January due to fatigue, memory issues, scattered disorganization, and feeling overwhelmed at work. She ordered cat scan which was normal, but suggested the neuropsych. I haven't thought about disability. I am hoping things get better. Glad I found this thread. Rosie

Dx 12/17/2013, ILC, <1cm, Stage IIB, Grade 2, 3/11 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 1/2/2014 Lumpectomy: Right; Lymph node removal: Right, Sentinel, Underarm/Axillary Chemotherapy 2/9/2014 Adriamycin (doxorubicin), Cytoxan (cyclophosphamide), Taxotere (docetaxel) Radiation Therapy 6/18/2014 Breast, Lymph nodes Hormonal Therapy 8/28/2014
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Jun 6, 2017 08:14PM - edited Jun 6, 2017 08:15PM by VelvetPoppy

~rosiesgirl~

Don't feel guilty about leaving your job and your employer at a bad time! This about you. Take care of yourself. I felt guilty about taking time off (14 weeks) when I had my surgery and radiation, too. I worked in the Children's department of our public library. It can get really crazy with people and programs during the summer, so I went back after my radiation was over to help out. Big mistake! I was still sore, tired and just not with it. The noise and hectic summer pace was too much for me. I had intended to stay through the entire summer, but only lasted through the last public program. I was tired everyday and cried a lot out of pain, frustration and sheer exhaustion. I finally went to my manager and told her I had to take my retirement. I couldn't do another day! There were also issues with people who knew I would retire eventually and resented me coming back when I did. So, if you can retire or collect disability and don't need your job's income to support yourself or pay bills, I would wave a heartfelt goodbye and leave. I was able to concentrate on taking care of me-physically, emotionally and spiritually. Good luck.

Oncotype Dx: 11 Dx 12/9/2015, DCIS, Right, <1cm, Stage 0, Grade 2, 0/5 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Dx 1/7/2016, IDC, Right, <1cm, Stage IA, Grade 1, 0/5 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 1/27/2016 Lumpectomy: Right; Lymph node removal: Sentinel, Underarm/Axillary Radiation Therapy 3/16/2016 Whole-breast: Breast Hormonal Therapy 7/29/2016 Femara (letrozole)
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Jun 6, 2017 09:05PM gardengypsy wrote:

Velvet: Thank you for sharing your experience. I am a teacher with a similar story. I went back to work after my treatment and it was a nightmare.

I started my financial planning with my pension administrator today. Luckily, I have disability insurance as well..

It feels like the right thing to do. There are many things I want to do with my life besides being tired and overwhelmed. It's going to mean frugality and probably a part-time job some day.

Best wishes to you all.

Dx 10/29/2015, ILC/IDC, Left, 5cm, Stage IIIA, Grade 3, 1/1 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 12/3/2015 Lymph node removal: Sentinel; Mastectomy; Reconstruction (left): Tissue expander placement Chemotherapy 1/9/2016 AC + T (Taxol) Surgery 5/23/2016 Hormonal Therapy 5/27/2016 Tamoxifen pills (Nolvadex, Apo-Tamox, Tamofen, Tamone) Radiation Therapy 6/5/2016 Whole-breast: Breast, Lymph nodes, Chest wall
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Jun 7, 2017 10:07AM Spookiesmom wrote:

I wasn't a teacher, was school bus driver. In the state pension plan. Retired at almost 24 years. I get the health subsidy, but not 100% because I didn't stay 30 years. It helps. Check with your pension plan people to see how yours works. No work is worth tears.

Dx IDC, Stage IIIA, Grade 3
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Jun 7, 2017 09:08PM VelvetPoppy wrote:

~Spookiesmom~ ~gardengypsy~

I have been retired for almost 10 months and I can tell you there is a night & day difference. I sleep better at night-even though I still need an occasional nap by day-; I am exercising by walking 5-6 days a week (I didn't have the energy when I was working); slowly-emphasize slowly-losing weight; the only stress I have is when my husband wants me to help him with something in the yard and I already started cleaning something in the house. I am saving money by not having to drive to work. I'm not stuck in the house, by any means. I go out to lunch with friends and former co-workers, grocery shop with my husband and do a lot of reading. My pace is a lot slower and I really like that.



Oncotype Dx: 11 Dx 12/9/2015, DCIS, Right, <1cm, Stage 0, Grade 2, 0/5 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Dx 1/7/2016, IDC, Right, <1cm, Stage IA, Grade 1, 0/5 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 1/27/2016 Lumpectomy: Right; Lymph node removal: Sentinel, Underarm/Axillary Radiation Therapy 3/16/2016 Whole-breast: Breast Hormonal Therapy 7/29/2016 Femara (letrozole)
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Jun 7, 2017 09:09PM edwards750 wrote:

Let me add my 2 cents worth about our jobs. It's unanimous it seems BC changes you and your lifestyle in so many ways.

I was working for FedEx Freight when I was DX in 2011. My hours were night hours, the drive was long, I worked in a not so safe part of town and the job was very stressful. On the plus side the pay and benefits were excellent but I couldn't concentrate and I started making too many mistakes. I couldn't focus on the job. Not good especially working in shipping/billing or any job for that matter.

I didn't go back. I had already taken early retirement from FedEx International. They are 2 separate companies within Federal Express.

I don't regret it for a second. My DH and I did the math, factored in gasoline, wear and tear on the car, taxes, etc and determined financially we would be okay.

I am busy all the time. I wonder now how I did what I do and work too. There are so many things that need to be done at home plus I'm babysitting my 20 month old twin grandsons pretty regularly now.

I admire you ladies who worked during treatment and I hope those of you who want to call it quits can do so sooner rather than later.

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