Topic: Feelings about breast cancer awareness month

Oct 2, 2019 03:57PM Newfromny wrote:

Bessie I was at GMA yesterday , and it really was so nice to meet other BCO members, we went out for breakfast later thanks to BCO and got to hear each other’s stories and what we’ve all been through, it was so good to meet these strong women. I had a sign 1 year thriver, today is one year since my Dx, and what an awful year it’s been. My lows during chemo when I wanted to give up we’re truly bad, but women here helped me get through it. I’m still not fully recovered from everything,chemo, surgery, radiation, I’ll never be the same, but I’m here so in that way I’m thriving, or at least I’m trying to every day even when it’s hard. I don’t agree with all the pink for one month but some people like Robin Roberts who spoke of depression after treatment really are trying to help

Oct 2, 2019 08:13PM VL22 wrote:

I’m a vegetarian. I don’t eat packaged food. I work out 4 days a week. My job is very active. I’ve never been over weight or smoked and I got breast cancer. I was stunned and my family was stunned. Jaws literally dropped. I had a woman who is also very health ask me if I drank out of plastic bottles - because what else could it be?? Was it second hand smoke from my dad? Our drinking water?

I now just chalk it up to bad luck and still live my healthy lifestyle. I also gave up alcohol- I’m all in!

I also agree that the most important thing is support. I had some really dark times that I wouldn’t have gotten through without the people here. It’s nice to have somewhere to go where people get it

Oct 2, 2019 10:05PM Beesie wrote:

Scrafgal, I agree that our posts were not inconsistent. There are two sides to the coin. Those who do well through treatment and who successfully move on after their diagnoses should be celebrated. But that should not be the sole face of breast cancer. The difficulties of treatment, the emotional toll, the lasting side effects, the long-term risk we all face, the fact that 20%-30% of us are or eventually will be metastatic... that is the other face of the coin and that should be discussed equally and openly.

Lexica, yes there are studies that support exercise and diet. Maintaining a healthy lifestyle does reduce the risk of breast cancer... and heart disease, and diabetes, and colon cancer, and.... just about every other disease. Yup, people who are healthier tend to live longer. But people who are healthier still develop breast cancer and heart disease and every other disease. I'm all for promoting a healthy lifestyle as a means to reduce health risks, but when it comes to breast cancer, there is no question that the highest risk factors are the ones we can't control. Number one is being a woman. Number two is getting older. Then there are risk factors like breast density. I likely inherited my extremely dense breasts from my mother, who still had dense breasts when she was diagnosed at age 80. Everything I could possibly do from a diet and lifestyle standpoint might reduce by breast cancer risk by 30%. That's not insignificant, but it pales when compared to my post-menopausal extremely dense breasts that increase my risk by as much or more than 200%.

Newfromny, I'm glad you enjoyed being at GMA and meeting the other BCO members. It was a great opportunity to get together and I wasn't being critical of anyone who chose to attend. I'm sorry you've had such a difficult year, and I admire your effort to keep moving ahead. From what you say about where you are right now, maybe it's just me, but "thriving" is not the word I would use. I think that word hides the difficulty of what you've been through this year and downplays your grit and the effort you've made to get through it. "Thriving" makes it sound like it was easy. Just my opinion, but I don't think it was appropriate of GMA to force fit that word onto everyone's experience. Perhaps "Been through hell for a year and but am now on the other side" would have been a more meaningful sign. Thriving will come, but I doubt that many of us thrive as we go through active treatment or as we decompress for a period of time afterwards.

Robin Roberts knows the reality as well as anyone. It sounds like she was trying to the shape the message but wasn't able to or didn't want to rock the boat about all the pink cheerleading

Oct 3, 2019 07:24AM - edited Oct 3, 2019 07:25AM by DivineMrsM

Beesie, what an impressive post. Every point you make is valid.

The use of thriving does seem forced. It feels like another attempt at pushing perfection on women. It's not enough to get through the damn difficulties to get to the other side; a woman must “thrive".

Oct 3, 2019 08:45AM Yogatyme wrote:

There was a breast cancer oncologist on Jeopardy last night and when Alex asked about breast cancer in men being rare, the doc said “yes, relatively, but I currently have 12 male pts.” So, encourage the men in your life to do self exams.

Dec 9, 2019 11:02AM ShetlandPony wrote:

Agree, jb. There is a word for it: “Financial Toxicity”. Just search that term along with the word “cancer”. Most patients, I suspect, don’t realize what is about to happen to them financially, which means they can get in worse trouble for lack of quick action and planning. I wish newly diagnosed patients would be offered both psychological and financial counseling.

Nov 15, 2020 02:21PM Trishyla wrote:

Oh, Patti. I'm so sorry you're having such a rough time. This truly is the year from hell. I have no real advice except that hopefully, come January, there may be some additional unemployment relief passed. Small comfort, I know.

Sending virtual hugs. Vent here any time you need to. We're here for you.

Trish