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Topic: Finished treatment, but now have the dreaded Xnas to deal with

Forum: Coping with Holidays, Special Days and Anniversaries — Holidays and special days, like birthdays and anniversaries, can be filled with complex emotions. Are they a time to celebrate or are they extra difficult? Share your feelings and experiences here.

Posted on: Dec 17, 2017 01:52AM

rubyredslippers wrote:

I've finished the surgeries, radiation etc, on Dec 1, but now have Xmas to cope with. Too long and intricate a story to fully explain, but in a nutshell loathe my siblings and a sister in law and can't get out of seeing them and having to be around them. How the hell do I cope with thst? It's the last thing I need. I'm depressed, going through the anger and frustration and thus is more stress tgat I don't need.

Anyone else in the same boat? Any tips?

I no longer feel comfortable displaying my diagnosis.
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Dec 17, 2017 05:24AM edwards750 wrote:

Thaf is so sad. You are done with your treatment so it should be a relieved and happy time as is Christmas typically. I’m sorry you don’t have family support but you can make the best of it. Christmas isn’t forever. I can’t relate because I love Christmas. Actually my family which is huge get together at Thanksgiving and Christmas means several are traveling elsewhere.

I do have lots of grandchildren and very close to my youngest son. He is a single dad with twin grandsons. We will celebrate the holiday with them and my DH’s family Dec 30. Too many people to schedule on Christmas Day.

So take a deep breath and feel good about what you have already gone through. It’s a lot. We can all relate.

Hope your holiday goes better than expected.


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Dec 19, 2017 03:03AM vampeyes wrote:

Hi Ruby,

As my therapist has taught me - we have choices! If you don't want to spend Christmas with these people, don't. You don't have to do anything you don't want to do. It's your choice and yours alone. Don't stress over it, do what you want to do as it is your life. Be happy and put your health first, being around or in situations that cause you anxiety and depression is no good for your health.

Take care,


Diagnosed at 41. Oncotype 21 Dx 9/20/2017, IDC, Left, 1cm, Grade 2, 0/3 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- (FISH) Surgery 10/18/2017 Lumpectomy: Left Surgery 11/15/2017 Lumpectomy: Left Radiation Therapy 1/29/2018 Whole-breast: Breast Hormonal Therapy 3/1/2018 Tamoxifen pills (Nolvadex, Apo-Tamox, Tamofen, Tamone)
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Dec 21, 2019 08:30PM arolsson wrote:

My situation is also different, my husband started cheating on me during my cancer treatment and now has a new wife and baby while I am 2 years into the hell of Stage IV. I used to love everything about the holidays but now I am mostly alone and too weak to foster much cheer. I invited lots of friends for Christmas, days in between, and new years--but everyone is busy with families. We all have different family situations but--use that C card to get out of your family commmitments altogether or take short breaks to go lie down and meditate!

Dx 8/2017, IDC, Right, 6cm+, Stage IV, metastasized to bone/liver, 5/5 nodes, ER-/PR-, HER2+ Surgery Lymph node removal: Left, Right, Sentinel, Underarm/Axillary; Mastectomy: Right; Reconstruction (right): Tissue expander placement Chemotherapy Halaven (eribulin)
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Dec 31, 2019 02:20AM rubyredslippers wrote:

that’s terrible Arolsson. I’m not too busy for you, send me a private message if you’d like to talk

I no longer feel comfortable displaying my diagnosis.

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