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Topic: Finished treatment, but now have the dreaded Xnas to deal with

Forum: Coping with Holidays, Special Days and Anniversaries — Holidays and special days, like birthdays and anniversaries, can be filled with complex emotions. Are they a time to celebrate or are they extra difficult? Share your feelings and experiences here.

Posted on: Dec 17, 2017 03:52AM

rubyredslippers wrote:

I've finished the surgeries, radiation etc, on Dec 1, but now have Xmas to cope with. Too long and intricate a story to fully explain, but in a nutshell loathe my siblings and a sister in law and can't get out of seeing them and having to be around them. How the hell do I cope with thst? It's the last thing I need. I'm depressed, going through the anger and frustration and thus is more stress tgat I don't need.

Anyone else in the same boat? Any tips?

Surgery 7/5/2008 Lumpectomy; Lymph node removal: Sentinel Chemotherapy 8/31/2008 AC Radiation Therapy 12/14/2008 Breast Surgery 7/27/2017 Lymph node removal: Right Surgery 9/4/2017 Lymph node removal: Underarm/Axillary
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Dec 17, 2017 07:24AM edwards750 wrote:

Thaf is so sad. You are done with your treatment so it should be a relieved and happy time as is Christmas typically. I’m sorry you don’t have family support but you can make the best of it. Christmas isn’t forever. I can’t relate because I love Christmas. Actually my family which is huge get together at Thanksgiving and Christmas means several are traveling elsewhere.

I do have lots of grandchildren and very close to my youngest son. He is a single dad with twin grandsons. We will celebrate the holiday with them and my DH’s family Dec 30. Too many people to schedule on Christmas Day.

So take a deep breath and feel good about what you have already gone through. It’s a lot. We can all relate.

Hope your holiday goes better than expected.


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Dec 19, 2017 05:03AM vampeyes wrote:

Hi Ruby,

As my therapist has taught me - we have choices! If you don't want to spend Christmas with these people, don't. You don't have to do anything you don't want to do. It's your choice and yours alone. Don't stress over it, do what you want to do as it is your life. Be happy and put your health first, being around or in situations that cause you anxiety and depression is no good for your health.

Take care,


Diagnosed at 41. Oncotype 21 Dx 9/20/2017, IDC, Left, 1cm, Grade 2, 0/3 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- (FISH) Surgery 10/17/2017 Lumpectomy: Left Surgery 11/14/2017 Lumpectomy: Left Radiation Therapy 1/28/2018 Whole-breast: Breast Hormonal Therapy 2/28/2018 Tamoxifen pills (Nolvadex, Apo-Tamox, Tamofen, Tamone)

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