Topic: My 42 year old cousin died of BC Wednesday

Forum: Acknowledging and honoring our Community — Share accomplishments, milestones, goals of community members, family members or yourself.

Posted on: Nov 3, 2016 07:38PM

Posted on: Nov 3, 2016 07:38PM

readytorock wrote:

She was younger than me and I haven't see her since I graduated from high school. She is acually my third cousin (my father's cousin's daughter), so they don't consider us close enough relatives for genetics to be an issue.

But I'm sad. She got breast cancer in her EARLY 30s and it sounds as if it was Stage IV from pretty much the beginning (spread to her hip.) It spread to her brain two years ago. She had two kids and a husband who left her when the cancer came around. Her mother and two brothers don't deserve the sadness they are experiencing now. They lost their father when they were all still in school and now another member of the family is gone way too early.

I'm very disappointed in myself that I never sent her a card or letter. I knew she was stage IV and I was only stage II and have good prognosis. I never knew how I could word a letter when I knew she was going to die and I was going to be ok. What are the right words to say.

Anyway, please keep my cousins family in your thoughts. I don't think that she was a community member here, but the world lost another really good person to breast cancer.

Thank you.

Dx 8/11/2014, ILC, Left, 1cm, Stage IIA, Grade 2, 1/6 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 9/1/2014 Lumpectomy: Left Chemotherapy 11/10/2014 Cytoxan (cyclophosphamide), Taxotere (docetaxel) Surgery 9/20/2015 Surgery Hormonal Therapy Radiation Therapy Whole breast
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Nov 3, 2016 08:33PM farmerlucy wrote:

readytorock - I am very sorry for your loss. I hope sweet memories of her comfort you and the rest of her family. Stupid BC.

Dx at 51 after a preventive mx that wasn't. Oncotype dx 3. 3D tattoos from Vinnie! PTSD?? You are not alone! Surgery 2/21/2012 Prophylactic mastectomy; Reconstruction (Left): Tissue Expander; Reconstruction (Right): Tissue Expander Dx 2/24/2012, IDC, Right, 1cm, Stage IA, Grade 2, 0/1 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 3/11/2012 Lymph node removal Surgery 7/22/2012 Reconstruction (Left): Silicone implant; Reconstruction (Right): Silicone implant Hormonal Therapy 4/10/2013 Tamoxifen pills (Nolvadex, Apo-Tamox, Tamofen, Tamone) Surgery 4/14/2015
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Nov 3, 2016 09:30PM molliefish wrote:

ready, I haven't been to a funeral since my Dad died just over four years ago. Don't be too hard on yourself, it's not easy to have BC. We are all different in how we deal with the emotional hurdles life hands us. I am truly sorry your cousin died of cancer, and I wish you peace in the coming days, weeks, months and years.

Dx 5/24/2015, IDC, Left, 1cm, Stage IA, Grade 3, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 6/8/2015 Lumpectomy; Lumpectomy (Left) Chemotherapy 8/13/2015 Cytoxan (cyclophosphamide), Taxotere (docetaxel) Hormonal Therapy 1/10/2016 Tamoxifen pills (Nolvadex, Apo-Tamox, Tamofen, Tamone) Radiation Therapy Whole breast: Breast
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Jul 31, 2017 12:17PM - edited Jul 31, 2017 12:27PM by msjackiefan

God bless your family, and try not to allow guilt to seep in. So sorry for your loss. As you said the cousin was distant and you were dealing with your own situation. Our energy is critical to fighting our own cancer at the time.You do your best and the fact that you cared says alot. Rest in Peace to your cousin and may God give her immediate family strenght.

One thing I can suggest that might both make you feel lighter and might mean alot to her immediate family: Let them know you thought about her often as you were both going thru similiar trials. If you have any story you can share about her when you were younger that they may not know, that can bring comfort. Just taking the time when you were actually not that close with a brief note to the family will mean something, I promise you. Go with God. At these times, we drink up any ounce of comfort we can. And getting something a while after the loved one has passed is a thoughtful reminder that others were affected by her loss, too.

Dx 4/9/2013, IDC, Left, <1cm, Stage IA, Grade 1, 0/3 nodes, ER+/PR-

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