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Topic: Stage 4 breast cancer

Forum: Caring for Someone with Stage IV or Mets —

A place where family members, caregivers, and loved ones of people having a Stage IV (metastatic) diagnosis can share, discuss, and support one another through the tough times unique to this diagnosis.

Posted on: Jun 13, 2019 01:21AM

Wendylynne70663 wrote:

My mom was just diagnosed with stage 4 breast cancer and its in her spine. Im so hurt and devastated...all i do is cry when im not around her...i dont want to loose her....but i sound greedy for wanting to keep her here

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Jun 13, 2019 06:48AM Salamandra wrote:

Hey Wendylynne,

No doubt it is hard on children, no matter how grown we are. It's ok to feel however you feel. It's good to seek out sources for your own support, like these boards, your own friends, and potentially a therapist or support group.

It's impossible to know any outcome for sure. But some people with stage IV are living 5, 10, even 15 years now. The statistics that show long term prognoses are, by necessity, always a little behind the impact of new technology.

I think a good goal is to come to acceptance of this new reality while maintaining hope for the future, including the humility that we can't know the future. Do your best to take care of yourself, for your own sake, for your mom's sake, and to make the most of the time you have with your mom, whether it ends up being measured in months or decades.


Dx at 39. 1.8cm. Oncotype 9. Dx 9/19/2018, IDC, Right, 1cm, Stage IA, Grade 2, 0/3 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- (FISH) Surgery 10/18/2018 Lumpectomy; Lymph node removal: Sentinel Hormonal Therapy 11/1/2018 Tamoxifen pills (Nolvadex, Apo-Tamox, Tamofen, Tamone) Radiation Therapy 12/3/2018 Whole-breast: Breast Hormonal Therapy 12/19/2019 Fareston (toremifene)
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Jun 13, 2019 07:54AM BLMike wrote:

Wendylynne -- My wife was just diagnosed with Stage IV. For me, the first week or so was the hardest: coming to grips with my (and her) new reality. The information on this website really helped me though: the more information I gathered, the more "accepting" (for want of a better word), I became of her new situation. This thread in particular was helpful for me to understand what can happen for SOME Stage IV patients (everyone is different):

As Salamandra mentioned it's OK to feel how ever you feel. Of course, it's scary. I had some relatives who told me to stop feeling sorry for myself, but this is a shocking diagnosis for both patients and loved ones especially in the beginning. I wish you and your mother the best of luck as you fight this battle.

A member to gather information for my wife Dx 2009, DCIS, Stage 0, ER+/PR+, HER2- Dx 2016, IDC, Stage IA, 0/5 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Dx 4/20/2019, IDC, Stage IV, metastasized to lungs, ER+/PR+, HER2- Dx 10/2020, IDC, Stage IV, metastasized to liver, ER+/PR+, HER2- Dx 7/2021, Stage IV, metastasized to brain Targeted Therapy Piqray (alpelisib) Hormonal Therapy Faslodex (fulvestrant) Surgery Lumpectomy; Lymph node removal: Underarm/Axillary Radiation Therapy Breast Hormonal Therapy Femara (letrozole) Chemotherapy Xeloda (capecitabine) Targeted Therapy Ibrance (palbociclib) Targeted Therapy Lynparza Chemotherapy Abraxane (albumin-bound or nab-paclitaxel)
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Jun 13, 2019 08:39PM Wendylynne70663 wrote:

that was so kind..she found a knot on her shoulder..she thinks its there too..she did her PET-scan yesterday...she dont want to talk to anyone but me and my she didn't even want to see us 😥😥😥 sister went over ..she wasnt upset

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