My sister and I have been running all over to find a Medical Oncologist that would take care of my mom's chemotherapy. My sister -since she's an ENT- has a unique approach to other doctors who happen to have relatives that have gone through cancer themselves, so references are high and mighty. I do not know any. and since I am busy helping around and trying -because moms never stay still- to keep mom to do what the doctor stated and take it easy on her back. I only do the logistics: get the appointments and stuff.
So I took an appointment for Doctor A. Highly recommended, retiree from the county hospital with flying colors. very busy person, so I called everywhere to get a soon appointment. I finally got one and when I took mom to her practice:
doctor: "well, once cancer metastasizes it means it is here to stay. anything we do is only palliative . What we would do is get her on this medication. and then this one and probably county will get her on this one. so we would need to choose medicine 2 or 3. Indeed it is not a good idea for her to have two medical oncologists. I recommend medicine 1 which comes in shots and the first set will be three in one month and then one each month. Medicine 2 is once a month for as long as she LASTS. costs are for medicne 1 70k PER SHOT and for medicine 2, 20k per month."
I was: "WTFF?!?!?!" I promise you guys, while the cost is way over the clouds (I checked, medicine 2 costs 2k a month) it's my mom, so there is literally nothing I could not or would not try. I was already doing math to see how could I afford this when she said: "for as long as she lasts". I was. "lady, do you think we are talking about a pair of shoes? your brain? lasts?!?! really??
When we got out of the office. I was silent, pissed off at that attitude, but I wasn't saying anything as mom was depressed and my sister was quiet. Eventually, my sister also snapped against the "doctor" and we agreed that she was an unfit physician.
We turned to another doctor. This one is still working in the county hospital. she's also recommended by the friend fo a friend who got her to treat her father (though the father apparently died before she finished her treatment -which perhaps should have cast some big red flashes-) she politely declined and said that the best doctor was the county doctor mom's scheduled to see in TWO months!
she did not offer any treatment. however she ALSO stated that "in your mother's state, any care is just palliative. the best course of action is to take a biopsy of both the spine and the liver" At that point I stopped listening to her. I did so because the surgical oncologist that performed the mastectomy on mom 11 years ago saw us frist (actually we went to see him first of the long list of doctors we have seen now) and he said, at first that recovery of breast cancer metastasis in spine is total and no problem. When he saw the two small dots on mom's liver he looked grim and apparently he believes that mom's cancer is now terminal though he continue to say that there is remission possible.
In any case, he said that biopsies are not an option due to mom's damage on the bone and the delicate state of her liver. (she as Nash).
In both cases, the few times I spoke during consultation I asked three questions:
a) is remission possible?
b) I do not understand this paliative thing, if remission is possible, then how can medications be paliative?
c) can we start chemo right now
and all of them have said:
a) yes, remission is possible. it either happens or does not happen
my mind: Duh! you sorry sack of shit! of course, you are either stupid or just lame
b) they are paliative because they could not work, but if they work they will heal her.
my mind: "omg! what cereal box did you get your degree from?!?!
c) no, actually, the first thing to do is her radiotherapy on the column to prevent T11 from collapsing. Then, after she has recovered from it, THEN we can start chemo. and actually it is not chemo since your mom's Ca is hormone based it is hormone therapy
my mind: IDIOT! so if it is NOT chemo, and it is not a "serious" treatment since it is hormone therapy, how the flying fuck you tell me it is "only paliative"?!?!
it's a long rant. I am sorry. my bestie, the one who used to listen to my rants passed away two years ago this september. Not cancer, an intestinal aneurism that was poorly cared for.
Log in to post a reply