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Topic: Help! Mom was recently diagnosed with Stage 4 BC

Forum: Caring for Someone with Stage IV or Mets —

A place where family members, caregivers, and loved ones of people having a Stage IV (metastatic) diagnosis can share, discuss, and support one another through the tough times unique to this diagnosis.

Posted on: Jan 4, 2020 10:01PM

confusedgirl wrote:

Hi. My mom has been recently diagnosed of stage 4 breast cancer. In her recent xray, it also shows that is is also started to spread to her bones. She has difficulty moving at the moment :(

She is scheduled to go all lab test and is advised to undergo surgery asap.

is there anyone in the group who survived stage 4? I need to know all your inspiring stories as we are really devastated at the moment.


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Jan 5, 2020 08:31AM Peregrinelady wrote:

You might want to go to the bone mets thread to answer your question. Just type in bone mets in the search function.
Dx 4/24/2015, IDC, Left, 2cm, Stage IIB, Grade 2, 1/2 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 5/17/2015 Mastectomy: Left Hormonal Therapy 6/1/2015 Liquid tamoxifen (Soltamox) Surgery 4/18/2016 Mastectomy: Right; Prophylactic ovary removal; Reconstruction (left): DIEP flap; Reconstruction (right): DIEP flap Hormonal Therapy 7/31/2016 Arimidex (anastrozole) Hormonal Therapy 7/19/2020 Femara (letrozole) Hormonal Therapy 3/3/2021 Arimidex (anastrozole)
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Jan 5, 2020 02:45PM Partyoffive wrote:


So sorry that your mom has been diagnosed. I’m a mom of five with bone mets in most of my bones. Metastatic breast cancer can not be cured but your mom could live for many years-I’ve been stable for 6 1/2 years and have been on the same medicine until recently. You both will feel better once your mom has a plan. She is lucky to have you. Take a deep breath and best of luck.


Dx 6/2013, IDC, 5cm, Stage IV, 9/21 nodes, mets, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 6/16/2013 Lymph node removal: Right; Mastectomy: Right; Reconstruction (right): Tissue expander placement Hormonal Therapy 6/24/2013
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Jan 6, 2020 05:57AM confusedgirl wrote:

Hi. Thanks for your reply, I appreciate it. May I know how you get along with it? How long did you undergo chemo and radiation

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Jan 6, 2020 12:49PM pajim wrote:

Confusedgirl, the fact that her cancer has spread to her bones means it is metastatic. And that she will most likely die from this disease. However, that won't be tomorrow, next month or next year.

I was diagnosed with bone mets 7 years ago and expect that I have a few years left. There are women on these forums who have lived with them longer than I.

What happens is that the doctors will figure out what type her cancer is and start her on medication to beat it back. She'll take that medication, most likely a pill or two, until (or if) the cancer spreads again. Then you start the second medication. etc. Kristin took her first for 5+ years. I took mine for 4 years.

If they are recommending surgery it must be that one of her vertebrae is compromised in some way. I had a fusion back 7 years ago. Six months of rehab but my oncologist said to think long term and he was absolutely right.

Yes this is very scary. But honest, once she starts treatment life will get back to normal both for her and for you. You'll get used to this. And when you do. . .it doesn't mean you're a bad daughter.

Dx 4/20/2008, IDC, Right, 4cm, Stage IIIA, Grade 2, 1/15 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Dx 2/1/2013, IDC, Stage IV, metastasized to bone, mets, ER+/PR+, HER2- Hormonal Therapy 2/27/2013 Femara (letrozole) Hormonal Therapy 4/22/2013 Faslodex (fulvestrant) Targeted Therapy 2/25/2016 Ibrance (palbociclib) Chemotherapy 6/19/2017 Xeloda (capecitabine) Targeted Therapy 8/15/2018 Verzenio Chemotherapy 1/2/2019 Halaven (eribulin) Chemotherapy 12/30/2019 CMF
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Oct 6, 2020 02:49AM sarakhan wrote:

hlo yeah there is our family friend she is well 1year ago doctors said her family that she had only 10 days after that she will be no more but now 2nd year started she is fit and fine i dont know u believe or no i am muslim and according to me our holy book is the solution of any problem there is very famous person PEER USMAN GHANI u can also search on youtube his free spiritual guidance centers are all over the world just contact his students if u believe and tell them ur mother condition i belive after this spiritual healing she will get well inshALLAh

many non muslims who are suffering from fatal diseases get well and enter in islam just becoz of his quranic healing

am not forcing u just its a request i know u had tried many treatments becoz my mother is also at stage 4 but trust me and only one time just try it

i can understand u becoz am also passing through with same situation

u can also read on google by searching PEER USMAN GHANI

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May 30, 2021 07:39AM - edited May 30, 2021 07:40AM by Life411


Thank you for sharing your experience. Hope you live a quality life for many years.

Just wanted to add to your post, you may never know, maybe tomorrow or next few years there would be some new therapy that will work for you.

Hope for the best.

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May 30, 2021 08:05AM - edited May 30, 2021 09:47AM by exbrnxgrl

hello confused girl,

I am one of those who is almost 10 years out from a mbc diagnosis with bone mets. I am just about to retire from a long teaching career so I have been working full time too. I know I am the exception but I am seeing more and more folks living longer and better with mbc. No cure as someone said, but lots of hope.

You do not say if your mother has had previous bc or if this is de novo so it's unclear what her treatment plan may be going forward.

Sarakhan, just because someone is stage IV does not mean they've had many treatments. About 6% of us are diagnosed as stage IV initially so there has been no prior treatment. For those who find comfort in religious faith, I am glad that you have found solace and comfort during this time. I am not challenging or diminishing your beliefs but hope that you understand that anecdotes about miracle healing are just that, anecdotes (the plural of which is not data). I think that spiritual comfort provides great complementary help for dealing with the mental/emotional stress that comes with a bc diagnosis but regardless of ones religious preferences, anecdotes and evidence supported studies and research are two very different animals.

Bilateral mx 9/7/11 with one step ns reconstruction. As of 11/21/11, 2cm met to upper left femur Dx 7/8/2011, IDC, Left, 4cm, Grade 1, 1/15 nodes, mets, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 9/7/2011 Lymph node removal: Left; Mastectomy: Left, Right; Reconstruction (left); Reconstruction (right) Dx 11/2011, IDC, Left, 4cm, Stage IV, Grade 1, 1/15 nodes, mets, ER+/PR+, HER2- Hormonal Therapy 11/21/2011 Arimidex (anastrozole) Radiation Therapy 11/21/2011 Bone Hormonal Therapy 6/19/2014 Femara (letrozole) Hormonal Therapy Aromasin (exemestane)
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May 30, 2021 10:58AM KBL wrote:

Life411, if I’m not mistaken, Pajim passed away in April of 2020. I wanted to let you know.

De Novo ILC - No primary found. Mets to full spine, femurs, skull, and stomach. Dx 5/1/2019, ILC, Stage IV, metastasized to bone/other, ER+/PR+, HER2- (FISH) Hormonal Therapy 6/24/2019 Femara (letrozole) Targeted Therapy 6/24/2019 Ibrance (palbociclib) Hormonal Therapy 9/19/2021 Faslodex (fulvestrant) Chemotherapy 9/26/2021 Xeloda (capecitabine)
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May 30, 2021 11:35AM Life411 wrote:

Oh, i'm so sorry to hear that...

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