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Topic: My mother assumed to have breast cancer?

Forum: Benign Breast Conditions —

A safe place to worry for members who have not been diagnosed with breast cancer, but have concerns about their breasts.

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Posted on: May 15, 2018 09:04PM

Sabrina16 wrote:

Im a 17 yrs old daughter of my mother, she assumed to have breast cancer and refuse to get a check up. Im asking her to go but shes afraid to get the treatment knowing how much chemo can bring side effects.. she doesnt want to end up like her brother who passed away. He passed away by cancer tumor. I know its different but she thinks she has breast cancer. A lump and through out her armpit. If theres any one i can contact to, to persuade her to go get a check up. Please lmk, a check up shouldnt be that bad right? I dont know what on earth shes thinking, it would be alright if she did see the doctor? She stated a lump a few years ago too but a small one until now its noticeable of how it gotten worse.. but im not sure if it is because id like to know from a doctor's view. Please anyone, any opinions on how my mother can go.

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May 15, 2018 09:17PM star2017 wrote:

there are so many advances in breast cancer treatments. Side effects are managed much better than they were years ago. Hopefully whatever your mom has is benign, but remind her that even if she needs treatment, it may not be as bad as she thinks

Dx@37, pregnant, BRCA2+ Dx 9/2017, DCIS/IDC, Right, 6cm+, Stage IIIA, Grade 3, 4/8 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 10/16/2017 Mastectomy: Right; Reconstruction (right): Tissue expander placement Chemotherapy 11/28/2017 AC + T (Taxol) Surgery 4/17/2018 Prophylactic mastectomy: Left; Reconstruction (left): Tissue expander placement; Reconstruction (right): Silicone implant Radiation Therapy 5/21/2018 Whole-breast: Breast, Lymph nodes Surgery 10/24/2018 Prophylactic ovary removal; Reconstruction (left): Silicone implant Hormonal Therapy Tamoxifen pills (Nolvadex, Apo-Tamox, Tamofen, Tamone)
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May 15, 2018 09:35PM Lula73 wrote:

I’m sorry your mom is going through this. I’m even more sorry you’re so scared and needing to reach out for help on her behalf. My heart goes out to you and at the same time I’m awed by your strength, courage and determination to reach out to us and to help your mom.

First, not all lumps are cancer. Even if they grow. There are many benign breast conditions that this could be.

Second, if it is cancer, treatment options vary depending on what type it is. Some cancers don’t require chemo. Radiation isn’t always necessary either. Surgery options may include lumpectomy instead of mastectomy (either option is a valid one, though). Some of us just have surgery and take a pill everyday for 5 years. Others of us do some combination of the above treatment options.

Third, the earlier what’s going on is identified, the earlier she (and you) will be able to change your worry and fear of the unknown to a plan of action.

I don’t know your mom’s personality or the dynamics of your relationship. Sometimes, a loved one won’t make the appointment themselves because the fear is too great and they’re almost paralyzed by the fear and they need someone else to take the reins at least temporarily. If you can’t convince your mom to make her own appointment (and I’d advise you to go with her as a second set of eyes and ears is important to catch all the information the dr will give her), you may want to try making an appointment for her. And letting her know that it’s been made and reassure her that you’ll go with her for support - that you're in this together.

I wish you luck, I know it’s hard. Well wishes and warm thoughts for you and your mom.🍀🌷

-Lula Dx 1/2017, DCIS/IDC, Right, 1cm, Stage IA, Grade 1, 0/2 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 2/14/2017 Lymph node removal: Sentinel; Mastectomy: Left, Right; Prophylactic ovary removal; Reconstruction (left): DIEP flap; Reconstruction (right): DIEP flap Hormonal Therapy 3/3/2017 Tamoxifen pills (Nolvadex, Apo-Tamox, Tamofen, Tamone) Surgery 11/1/2017 Prophylactic ovary removal Hormonal Therapy 1/3/2018 Femara (letrozole)
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May 15, 2018 09:41PM MexicoHeather wrote:

I'm going to suggest she go to any type of doctor she trusts to check it out. It could be a general doctor or the gynecologist. Trick her if you have to! Say you get ice cream after we go check it out. I am glad you are concerned.

Dios es Amor. Dx 10/1/2016, IDC, Right, 3cm, Stage IIB, Grade 3, 3/17 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 12/4/2016 Lymph node removal: Right; Mastectomy: Right Surgery 12/4/2016 Lymph node removal: Underarm/Axillary; Mastectomy: Right Chemotherapy 1/18/2017 AC + T (Taxol) Radiation Therapy 5/9/2017 Whole-breast: Lymph nodes, Chest wall Surgery 10/9/2017 Prophylactic ovary removal Surgery 12/5/2018 Hormonal Therapy Arimidex (anastrozole) Hormonal Therapy Femara (letrozole) Hormonal Therapy Tamoxifen pills (Nolvadex, Apo-Tamox, Tamofen, Tamone)
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May 15, 2018 10:12PM Sabrina16 wrote:

Thank you for those reaching out to me, I will show your guys comment to my mother hoping she'd changed her mind. I am super concern for her although I am pressuring her but besides that she worries to see the doctor because of bad effects she might get. Then she'd be worried, I just don't want her to go through this alone, I will always be with her but I guess she doesn't see it, knowing how stubborn she can get, its the only way to help her. I will try to make her go, and hopefully the more comments i can get her to change her mind that'd be so great.

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May 15, 2018 11:15PM - edited May 15, 2018 11:16PM by Sara536

Maybe you could talk to the doctor ahead of time and explain the situation and get a prescription for a few tablets of an anti-anxiety med like ativan or diazapam for her. Good luck:)

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May 16, 2018 06:36AM star2017 wrote:

my mother had breast cancer, had a mastectomy but no chemo or radiation. I had breast cancer, mastectomy, chemo, and now will start radiation. The side effects from chemo were not too bad I was just more tired. I barely felt nausea. The meds are great at controlling that. I was really scared f the side effects of chemo, and tho it was not fun it was not as bad as I expected.


Everyone is different, but treatments are very different than they were even a few years ago. All the best.

Dx@37, pregnant, BRCA2+ Dx 9/2017, DCIS/IDC, Right, 6cm+, Stage IIIA, Grade 3, 4/8 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 10/16/2017 Mastectomy: Right; Reconstruction (right): Tissue expander placement Chemotherapy 11/28/2017 AC + T (Taxol) Surgery 4/17/2018 Prophylactic mastectomy: Left; Reconstruction (left): Tissue expander placement; Reconstruction (right): Silicone implant Radiation Therapy 5/21/2018 Whole-breast: Breast, Lymph nodes Surgery 10/24/2018 Prophylactic ovary removal; Reconstruction (left): Silicone implant Hormonal Therapy Tamoxifen pills (Nolvadex, Apo-Tamox, Tamofen, Tamone)
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May 16, 2018 09:45AM Recap wrote:

Does your mother see someone each year for flu, colds, prescriptions, etc. Is that person male or female? If your mother would be more comfortable seeing a female for breast exam, you could call their office and see who she could make an appointment with for breast exam. For that matter, you could call a gynaecologist office-plenty of females in that specialty these days and she could get a pap smear done also. Most offices have websites now and many patients "shop" via the website for a face and name that sounds good to them before calling to make an appt. (LOL I always try to avoid hyphenated names.)

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May 16, 2018 10:15AM mustlovepoodles wrote:

This may not even be breast cancer! There are a lot of other breast conditions which can cause lumps, bumps, and rashes that are NOT CANCER.

Cancer is a different disease in every person. You can't really compare one type of cancer to another. I've known people who had lung cancer whose treatment made them very ill. I know of others who had other cancers whose treatment didn't affect them much at all.

My sister had breast cancer 6 years ago. All she required was a lumpectomy and radiation once a day for 5 weeks. She sailed through it and now you can't even see her scar. She takes an anti-hormonal drug daily (because her tumor fed on estrogen, a female hormone) and has had no side effects.

My journey was a bit different. I unexpectedly ended up with chemo and a bilateral mastectomy, after my cancer was deemed to be more aggressive than first thought. Still, the treatment was doable. I alsotake an anti-hormonal drug and have had no side effects from it.

i wish your mother the best. Some people are very worried about getting bad news, to the point that they refuse to go to the doctor at all. The thing with breast cancer (if this IS even breast cancer!) is that it's so TREATABLE.

Oncotype 23. Positive for PALB2 & Chek2 gene mutations. My breasts are trying to kill me! Dx 7/20/2015, DCIS/IDC, Right, 1cm, Stage IA, Grade 3, 0/2 nodes, ER+/PR-, HER2- Surgery 8/20/2015 Lumpectomy Surgery 9/3/2015 Lumpectomy: Right Chemotherapy 10/19/2015 Cytoxan (cyclophosphamide), Taxotere (docetaxel) Surgery 2/4/2016 Prophylactic mastectomy: Left, Right Surgery 10/19/2016 Hormonal Therapy Femara (letrozole) Surgery
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May 16, 2018 04:00PM - edited May 17, 2018 03:35PM by Racy

I am sorry you are in this position. Does your mother realise that if it is cancer and is left untreated, the outcome will probably be fatal with worsening symptoms in the meantime?However, if she gets treatment, she may be cured or at least have a longer life.

I don't mean to be brutal, but those are the facts. I understand what it is like to be scared of what if, but having been through cancer and survived and thrived, I know from experience how great it is that we have so many treatments available and survival rates are high.

Whether to do chemo would still be your mother's decision at the time, if it were suggested. She wouldn't have to do it.

As others have said, it may not be cancer, but either way it is better to know while it is still treatable, if needed.

Wishing you and your mum the best.

Dx 2010, ILC, 2cm, Stage IIA, Grade 3, 0/22 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-

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