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Topic: Sexual abuse and cancer

Forum: Sex & Relationship Matters —

A safe place to talk candidly about how your romantic relationships and/or your sex life has changed following your diagnosis and treatment.

Posted on: Dec 4, 2019 08:26PM

mitziandbubba wrote:

Right now, if I never had sex again, that would be just fine. I do have the desire for sex but I feel scared of it. I am a sexual abuse survivor and cancer treatment really brought back all of the memories and feelings from my childhood. I know my husband would never hurt me, but when he gets sexual with me I feel like I am a teenager being molested again. I did not like how it felt to be in all those machines and told not to move etc. I know that I was not being abused, the doctors and nurses were helping me, but it brought me back there.

I'm in counseling and I know it will take time but I dealt with the sexual abuse and I am upset and angry that cancer has caused such a setback in my healing. My husband is understanding but he's also very physical with me always and I know he's wanting me to feel comfortable. I guess I am lucky he is still so attracted to me. He seemed to get more interested in me sexually during and after treatment actually for some reason.

Does anyone feel like this?

Surgery 5/9/2019 Lumpectomy: Left Surgery 5/29/2019 Lymph node removal: Sentinel Dx IDC, Left, 1cm, Stage IA, Grade 1, 0/4 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Radiation Therapy Whole-breast: Breast Hormonal Therapy Tamoxifen pills (Nolvadex, Apo-Tamox, Tamofen, Tamone)
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Dec 5, 2019 08:28PM - edited Dec 5, 2019 08:29PM by Yogatyme

Sexual abuse and breast cancer both create PTSD. So, it is not uncommon for bc to bring up all the issues from sexual abuse. It's so good you are in counseling and you are absolutely right that it will take time. Give yourself that time and keep your husband in the loop. He clearly loves you.

Yogatyme Surgery 3/2/2019 Prophylactic ovary removal Dx 7/19/2019, IDC: Papillary, Right, <1cm, Stage IA, Grade 2, 0/5 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 8/12/2019 Mastectomy: Left, Right
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Dec 5, 2019 09:22PM mitziandbubba wrote:

Thank you Yogatyme!! After I posted this guess what I decided to try to be intimate with my husband and it went better than I expected! I think the difference was that I tried initiating it. Maybe that is how it needs to work for now.

Surgery 5/9/2019 Lumpectomy: Left Surgery 5/29/2019 Lymph node removal: Sentinel Dx IDC, Left, 1cm, Stage IA, Grade 1, 0/4 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Radiation Therapy Whole-breast: Breast Hormonal Therapy Tamoxifen pills (Nolvadex, Apo-Tamox, Tamofen, Tamone)
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Dec 5, 2019 09:55PM Yogatyme wrote:

Mitzi, good for you!! Yes, being the initiator can be particularly helpful in getting over this hump. Keep moving forward and finding your way....take your husband along.

Yogatyme Surgery 3/2/2019 Prophylactic ovary removal Dx 7/19/2019, IDC: Papillary, Right, <1cm, Stage IA, Grade 2, 0/5 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 8/12/2019 Mastectomy: Left, Right
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Dec 5, 2019 10:48PM santabarbarian wrote:

Mitzi way to go! I admire you!

pCR after neoadjuvant chemo w/ integrative practices; Proton rads. Dx 7/13/2018, IDC, Left, 3cm, Stage IIB, Grade 3, ER-/PR-, HER2- (FISH) Chemotherapy 8/12/2018 Carboplatin (Paraplatin), Taxotere (docetaxel) Surgery 12/27/2018 Lumpectomy: Left Radiation Therapy 2/10/2019 Whole-breast: Breast, Lymph nodes
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Dec 6, 2019 02:31PM mitziandbubba wrote:

Thank you Santabarbarian! I hope it all keeps working. The problem is that my husband is very grabby LOL

Surgery 5/9/2019 Lumpectomy: Left Surgery 5/29/2019 Lymph node removal: Sentinel Dx IDC, Left, 1cm, Stage IA, Grade 1, 0/4 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Radiation Therapy Whole-breast: Breast Hormonal Therapy Tamoxifen pills (Nolvadex, Apo-Tamox, Tamofen, Tamone)

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